Imperfect girlfriend
by MissKaro
Summary: On the same day that Aihara Kotoko gives him a love letter, Irie Naoki decides that he's been presented with the solution that he needed to his problem. He was sure the silly girl would be worth his purposes, but little did he know that his imperfect girlfriend would become the embodiment of everything he had been looking for in all his monotonous life. Longfic. KxI. AU.
1. Are all opportunities to be taken?

**Disclaimer: Nothing you can recognize belongs to me; and, this is merely fiction.**

 **AN1: Hello!** **Some of you can remember me from Blissful. Now, I give another try with Imperfect Girlfriend.**

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Thanks to _UnhappyHomicideExperience_ it's possible for me to bring you this story with less mistakes than this would have had. But, of course, you're allways free to tell something that we didn't see (specially those who speaks Spanish and English).

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 **Imperfect girlfriend**

 _by MissKaro_

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 **Chapter 1**

 **Are all opportunities to be taken?**

* * *

From his position on the other side of his father's desk in the study, Naoki Irie (or for his acquaintances "the genius"), watched his parent move uncomfortably, aware of the scrutiny to which he was subjected to. The young man, of course, received the same kind of response from many—with the exception of his mother, with unshakeable willpower—, as long as he watched them with his cold, empty purplish eyes, that not only made him attractive but unattainable for those around him.

Naturally, he was proud to be the reason of that shameful reactions in his fellow men, as feeling superior provided him with the only entertainment he had ever known. Seeing how others, even his elders, surrendered at his presence, gave him more power than his incomparable brain (possessor of an IQ of 200) allowed him to have. Surely no one was aware of that satisfaction, as cold as he was with everyone, _but that was how he felt_.

Nevertheless, a part of himself forced him to show an ounce of respect for his so-called superiors.

That made him stop scrutinizing his father and took a position that could almost be described as condescending, if another person and a different situation was talked about. Besides, he had grown tired of that silent exchange that had lasted no more than two minutes, and decided that he should express the matter of the meeting, originated from his request to his father to "speak alone" with him, followed by a gulp of the aforementioned.

"Father, I will not run your business," Naoki said briefly, not bracing himself, using that deep voice that many loved, regardless of how was the personality of the talker.

His father, Shigeki Irie, stood up as much as his cushioned chair allowed him and showed a hint of strong character, different from his kind personality, perhaps because it was a matter concerning Pandai, his beloved toy company, which he raised from its foundations many years ago, until turning it into the success that it was at the moment. His chubby face turned a reddish, anger-rimmed color, and his eyes flashed with anger for more than a tenth of a second (really an achievement).

"What did you just say, Naoki?" His father asked, not breathing, before removing his round glasses to wipe them with the edge of his shirt, a sign that he was trying to calm down.

The alluded one waited until the lenses returned to their original position, calm as allways, to answer: "I do not wish to continue the work of someone else."

His progenitor watched him with a bewildered and dismayed expression, probably beginning to understand, using his own logic, the ambition that his son _might_ inherit from him.

Naoki didn't care what turns his head did to understand, he wasn't going to give explanations and talk more than he was used to. On many occasions, the ineptitude and slowness of those around him seemed unpleasant to him. As a child, before shutting in on himself and after understanding that no one would be able to reach his level, he shared with his mother his restlessness, and she told him to be patient with others and to comprehend that not everyone had his ability. But like now, he did not care much.

After that, unless it was a matter that required the understanding of others, he ceased to be concerned if they came to understand him in everything he talked about, and made his life as he pleased, at his own pace.

The current situation was a _consideration_ of his part to his father, because first of all, he must be respectful and honorable with the family head.

"It is naive of me to believe that a genius like you would not want to show others what he is capable of," his father said, bringing his right hand to his chin in a pensive pose. "You would like to draw your own path, right?"

Being an explicit question, which didn't require words, he nodded. It could be said that way, although in truth—for his own frustration and bewilderment—he did not know exactly what the best road was. Everything he did was good at, with the exception of knowing what was going on for him after high school.

What he was sure of was that running a toy store, and following in his father's footsteps, was not something he would do in his future.

"I'm not going to lie to you and say that it does not sadden me and disappoint me, and if I get the chance I will not do my best to make you change your mind…" His father laughed briefly, as if he had remembered a joke. "But I think it's only fair that you want to do something for yourself, even if it is my competition. I want you to be happy. So… I'll have to accept what you say…"

With that last sentence, he took on a serious tone. Naoki only hoped that he would finish his monologue to excuse himself from the study, which, although on other occasions it served him to take books before finishing the repertoire, was now a place that no longer required his presence. He had already obtained his father's acceptance, or rather, the confirmation that he knew he couldn't put anymore hope in him or his responsibility to be in charge of the workplace for the rest of his life.

"…with a condition."

He, deep down, was surprised, even though his face did not show such emotion. He couldn't imagine what could his father suggest—and he couldn't fulfill—as an impediment to not reach the purpose of that meeting. It was true that it was more an announcement than a request, but the respect Naoki owed to his father would make him obey the order he had.

For a second he was proud of his, often thought, feeble father, by showing why he was a successful businessman, but that feeling vanished as soon as his next sentence left his lips:

"You'll have to introduce me to a girlfriend, that ensures me the continuation of our surname."

Something like rage filled Naoki's chest. Was otōsan trying to manipulate him? You didn't have to be a genius to tell he was asking him to look for a young woman, who would become (in the near future) his betrothed, a woman whom he approved of.

His father hoped that he, who had never shown any interest in women, let alone having a girlfriend, would put at stake his destiny for something as insignificant as maintaining a relationship.

Naoki saw no point in having a partner—though he liked women, as his family seemed to doubt—because he, by himself, could do a lot of things. If it happened that the sexual urgencies that dominated many arrived at him, there would be diverse ways of solving them (without implying to have someone long time to his side). The idea of being a father had never crossed his mind. And sharing time or experiences with another person did not have much importance.

"What?" He asked suddenly, noticing that his father's monologue included him.

Without realizing it, he had disengaged from the "conversation" and had not listened to what he said after his announcement.

His father cleared his throat, bothered to be heard. "I said one of my great desires is that you succeed me in the company, but if I cannot have that, I want another of my great desires to be fulfilled. To have a grandson."

"Yuuki," Naoki muttered parsimoniously.

"Eh, yes. Do not get me wrong, well, I do not think you can… I also want your brother's grandchildren. But if I cannot have my first-born as my successor, at least I want my first grandchild to be yours."

Sensitive man, Naoki thought with disgust. Sentimentalities like that were those that made him avoid using anything other than reasoning for life in general (it was also a reason to avoid a relationship).

"So… you think you can fulfill my condition?"

He thought for a moment and nodded, it would be easy to get a willing girl to be his girlfriend and future wife. Even though many might despise his personality, by fear or envy of him, there were many young women who would die for having him as a boyfriend. For example, he knew the existence of a group of followers.

Likewise, his genes were more than perfect to be given to a next generation. That was the reason people got together, right? And he would have a lot to contribute.

The now certainty of having children, which had never been seriously considered, brought him a strange feeling, which he ascribed to the likelihood that he might know someone with intelligence like his own.

He nodded slightly to his father.

"Will I be able to meet her soon?"

The thought of having to quickly catalog the young women he knew, to rule out the impossible candidates in order to get the suitable ones, was tiresome and annoying, but he imagined that two days, at most, would be enough for the task.

"Yes."

"It took you a little while to answer… is there already somebody in mind?" Her father inquired hesitantly, as if all previous courage had left him.

Not really, but he did not want to give the impression to his father that he would have a girlfriend just for his request, he would quickly realize that he was obliged, and wouldn't accept her.

And his father, of course, would refuse to accept her because he _wanted his happiness_ , which couldn't come from the hand of a girlfriend whom he had gotten just to fulfill his condition.

"Yes," he replied, after another pause. "There is."

 _Someone must be._

His father seemed extremely surprised by his response and leaned toward him, just as the door opened with a loud noise.

"Yes!" His mother's exclamation surprised his father, while Naoki took it with annoyance. Already, he imagined her stuck like glue until he gave her the name of _her daughter-in-law_ , or hanging around the school just to get a glimpse of the girl. Even insisting on taking her to dinner.

He would never have imagined that what he thought of as a simple meeting would eventually bring on annoying events.

"When can we meet your girlfriend, son?" His father asked, ignoring his mother's fanciful dance at his side.

"When she is ready," he answered without affirming or denying he already had one, so it would give him enough time to make the chosen one prepare to have all the data of _their history together_.

By all gods, he felt ridiculous just thinking about that phrase.

 **[...]**

The following morning, after an afternoon irked by his mother's insistence, Naoki felt the tiredness creeping through every pore of his skin, with the possibility it would reach higher levels for the task ahead.

That same day he thought he would sort out the decision of his girlfriend and future wife, just to engage himself in more important things like what he would do from now, as his father finally _agreed_ with him not to be his successor. It upset him he would have to fulfill his stupid condition—he shouldn't be manipulated—but he owed his parents the support and the opportunities they brought him throughout his life.

Whoever was chosen, other than good looks and respectable education, he didn't care much. He simply wanted that she served to fulfill the condition of his father and that she was minimally suitable to be _the_ wife of Naoki Irie.

Turning away from his routine of first passing the library, he went directly to his class, Class A, corresponding to the most outstanding youngsters of the generation. The system of his school classified by means of an examination to those who entered its classrooms, and the students with best results were located in Class A, the less better in B, C, and so on, until arriving to Class F, the worst of all, with no doubt.

If they scored higher in the end-of-course exams, it was possible to upgrade a group, but already in their last year he knew that few people had achieved such an achievement, but only generally from Class D to C, or Class C to B.

As he walked to his classroom, he checked the glances of admiration from the younger girls, thinking definitively she had to be someone of his age, for he did not want to deal with childish girls.

He didn't even know why he was watching them, if he wanted to choose someone he knew beforehand. And he was going to analyze them as they arrived to take class. As he attended early, he would stay in his seat and give, for the first time, a look of further recognition to his classmates.

A few paces from 3A, he spotted an unknown teenager approaching from the other direction, and he wondered if she belonged to his group, but dismissed it quickly after a look at her hair.

It could be said that he didn't take much into account to those who belong to his group, but he had never noticed a flash of the girl's hair color in the middle of the classroom. Having an eidetic memory, he didn't forget details like that. Her hair was a reddish brown rather than red-haired, a little orange, not like a pumpkin, but perhaps orange-red like a sunset, a little brighter than ordinary orange. Nor could it be said it was completely orange, only that he didn't have much to resemble the color of her hair.

The fact was, that he had not seen _it_ in his group.

He turned his gaze from the red-haired girl and reached the door of his group, just at the exact moment he heard a soft and hesitant voice pronouncing his name: "Irie."

He paused for a moment, realizing that the owner of that voice was the girl he had just observed, who held in her hands a letter addressed to him. From the rosy cheeks of the redhead, he guessed what it was.

He rolled his eyes and prepared to reject her when he thought of his predicament.

The "I don't want it" didn't abandon his lips, but he surprised himself and those who watched him, taking the paper and responding in its place:

"Follow me."

 **[...]**

 _Nice to meet you, Irie-kun. I am Aihara Kotoko from Class-F._

 _You do not know who I am, right? But, I know who you are._

 _For two years, I've admired you for your intelligence and coolness after you gave your entrance ceremony speech. I have no hope of being in the same class as you…_

 _…so I write my feelings in this letter with all my heart._

 _Irie-kun, I love you._

Naoki didn't need to read the letter twice to learn its content. His head had already memorized each sentence written by the silent girl sitting next to him on a bench in front of the school library, which would have been attended by people if the exam season was close.

(And for those who wanted to spy on them, the fear caused by look of his sure made them not stay around for long.)

With no disguise, he watched the red-haired girl, who was looking downwards and moving her fingers in a gesture of nervousness, despite the fact that, with her legs together and her palms on her knees, she tried to give the image of composure of someone being punished.

He rejoiced to know that he had such power, while an attractive idea formed in his head.

The red-haired girl was not ugly, she was attractive in her own way, though she looked younger than him for many years, and he guessed that she was quite educated by the way she addressed him. That would be enough to convince his parents.

To Naoki, that she was from Class F seemed an advantage to him. Surely she was dumb, therefore, manipulative to his whim. He could handle her to fit his desires; it was to be hoped that, in order to please him, she would act in any way he wished. She would make the _perfect girlfriend_ for his plans, though nowhere near to Irie Naoki.

He smiled sideways.

He liked that.

The perfect girlfriend for his plans.

Even if she belonged to the imbeciles of F.

Others might think whatever they wanted if _he_ had a girlfriend in that class, and anyone but himself he gave explanations (and he didn't need them). As long as she was careful to make everything look normal, this girl would mold to his needs, and he would take care of himself.

And his parents, perhaps they might think she was very different from what they had expected from him, but once he told his mother the trite and ridiculous romantic argument of _opposites attract_ , there would be no more worry.

"Kotoko," he called, feeling satisfied with his future plans.

She flinched; and, as he stared at the hazel-colored orbs of her, which seemed too expressive, he felt a twinge of something that made him pause for a moment to rethink what he was going to do.

But with _his future_ in mind, he continued: "From now on, you'll be my girlfriend."

The stupefaction upon her face would remain forever engraved in his head.

And beyond admitting it, also the shy smile in her face.

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 **AN2: Hi again!**

 **What do you think?**

 _From now on, we'll be reading small changes in Naoki. I'm trying to stay IC, but you know, with him, is difficult. Since I started writing, I had one idea, but this story writes itself, yeah._

 _Bisous,_ **Karo**


	2. All beginnings are… strange?

**Chapter 2**

 **All beginnings are… strange?**

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The hesitant smile on her new girlfriend's face told Naoki that the little fool was spinning the issue and that she was in the middle of some fantasy. Surely to someone as foolish and stupid as she might be, that he took notice of her was impossible.

Truly, in normal circumstances, he wouldn't have looked at her again after attempting to give him her letter, but his interests suited that he should still be with her.

"N-no…" Kotoko coughed to clear her throat. "I don't understand."

"I imagined it," he replied wryly.

She had the decency to blush. At least she had understood that.

"But… how?" She still had a little smile, despite the doubt in her eyes.

He almost hissed. It irritated him having to explain himself, to tell her she would be his girlfriend should suffice. Supposedly, when a man told a woman who liked him, that she was to be his partner from then on, a relationship began. She had to be happy, she had achieved much more than what others aspired for, she shouldn't question how she had come to that state.

"You're not ugly," he answered plainly.

She blinked, then inclined her head.

"Eh… thanks? But… is this real, are we dating?"

He nodded, starting to get irritated.

"I look attractive to him? Do you like me? He accepts my feelings?" For a moment she was talking to herself, but she repeated one of her questions: "Seriously, do you like me?"

And she looked at him with her enormous eyes, wide-eyed, in an almost gracious image.

"Are you dumb?" He spat irritably and she touched, repeatedly and nervously, the tips of her indexes.

"Well… I'm from F," she replied in a whisper.

 _Please_. Now she thought he was an idiot. She had said it in her letter, of course he knew it. And her attitude corroborated with the fact that she belonged to that class.

" _Nice to meet you, Irie-kun. I am Aihara Kotoko from Class-F. You do not know who I am, right? But, I know who you are. For two years…_ "

"Eeeeh!" The redhead exclaimed jumping from her seat. "Have you memorized my letter? How?"

He decided to ignore the fact that she had interrupted him. He looked at his watch and noticed that it was twelve minutes before the beginning of class; he informed her why he memorized it, so that the knowledge of it came to light when his mother interrogated her.

"I just have to read a text once to memorize it."

"Wow, you're really a genius," she said in an admired voice. " _And that genius said I'm his girlfriend, although I'm from F. He likes me and my platonic love accepted me_." She whispered to herself, but Naoki heard her perfectly.

He smiled wryly at that.

Suddenly Kotoko started bouncing around.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! He likes me! He is my boyfriend!"

He looked at his watch again. Nine minutes.

"Kotoko" he spoke loudly and she stopped as quick as a lightning.

"Yes, Irie-kun?" She asked with sparkling eyes.

"It's Naoki," he said. "I'm going to class, don't say anything to anyone until I talk to you at the break. Side yard. "

He did not wait for her to nod as he turned towards his classroom.

"See you later Naoki-kun!" She said with a cry. "Yeeeees!"

Knowing that no one was watching him, he smiled to himself.

 _The first step was ready_.

 **[...]**

With a few minutes remaining until break, Naoki waited for the school bell to ring, something he never really did when he finished his work early, as usual. He was aware of the undisguised looks he received from the other students, too curious after he returned late after being accompanied by the red-haired girl that someone found belonged to Class F.

Rumors about the exchange between the two of them were probably running, many of them speculating about what he had said or what the relationship between them was, due to the little they knew about his life. Even his closest companion, Watanabe, looked at him intrigued.

To him, the attention wasn't important, he only wanted to settle some rules with the redhead, so that she was clear what was expected of her, in addition to directing her to the story that both would represent in front of his parents.

Finally, the clock indicated the rest period, and, calmly, he stood up to go to the exit, slightly shaking the head to his blond partner Watanabe, so he abstained from following him. The other nodded with a shrug.

Fortunately, at that hour people would gather in the cafeteria and the place where he'd be with Kotoko wouldn't be the subject of indiscreet looks, so with peace, he went there. He had his lunch with him and could eat it when he had finished communicating his message to the redhead, with no intention of sharing any more time with her on that day.

When he reached the courtyard, he went to a bench covered by a tree, away from building, to wait for the girl. He imagined that she didn't finish her duties on time and when the bell rang, she must've run to deliver what she had, to later collect her belongings to leave. The thought made him laugh mentally, it was predictable something like that.

The F's were disorganized as well as foolish people, so she would be too.

Knowing that didn't make him reconsider choosing the girl, and even if it did, he wasn't one to step back after taking a decision and carrying it out. More when there were more pros than cons. An idiot person was easily manipulated.

Naoki looked at his watch. Six minutes. He glanced at his lunch and contemplated the possibility of continuing to wait to eat later, but decided the opposite. The girl was already late, so she would have to wait until he finished his meal to speak with him.

He took his bento box and prepared to eat, paying no attention to the arrival of the girl, if she appeared, it'd be well for her to notice the consequences of her lack of punctuality. It would be a lesson well learned. In addition, it would make it very clear. _No one made him wait_.

Fifteen minutes later, his meal ended, he was about to go with the full conviction of punishing the idiot redheaded for the audacity of standing him up. Maybe she was too brave or too stupid to think that she could waste his time like that.

Usually, the more than twenty minutes of rest he had after eating, he occupied them to read, and the current occasion in which he gave his time to someone was a loss. He would make her pay for it…

"Do not go Naoki-kun!" He suddenly heard from his back, in Kotoko's voice.

He ignored her completely, continuing on his way, but more was his surprise when she stopped him by taking him by the sleeve of his uniform. Of course, his face didn't show such a glimpse.

"I'm sorry Naoki-kun!" He glanced over his shoulder to an agitated Kotoko, shrunk, trying to catch her breath. "What happened is…"

"I'm not interested in listening to you," he mumbled dryly and pulled his arm away from her. What boldness on her part to believe she could take hold of him.

"Do not get mad. I'm very sorry for being late," Kotoko said walking beside him, who intended to go to the library. "I could not get away from my friends, they wanted to follow me and I thought you would not like it."

At least the idiot had a bit of common sense.

"I didn't know what to tell them, since you forbade me to speak until we talked… And they asked a lot of questions about rumors of you and me, I had to deceive them and lose them. I didn't want to keep you waiting too long. I finished my activities fast to be the first to leave class but the teacher held me for a few moments and then my friends…" Kotoko chattered without breathing, trying to keep pace with his. "Would you forgive me?"

He gave her a sullen glance.

"You plan to follow me all the way?"

She nodded effusively.

"My father says I'm pig-headed." Surely Mr. Aihara said it because of the headaches she caused, as she irritated him at that precise moment.

He sighed and turned to return to the bench.

"Thank you for excusing me! I really regret it…"

"I have not forgiven you," he interrupted sharply, to which she responded by lowering her head in distress. "You'll have to do something for me."

Kotoko lifted his head when he stopped and speechlessly looked at him with the promise to fulfill whatever he wanted.

 _It seemed so easy_ _to him_ , that girl was a little puppet. Hollow-headed and fastidiously persistent, but conveniently obliging. He tilted his head to the bench.

"Sit down." She nodded and followed his order, looking at him expectantly.

He accompanied her on the bench, his eyes fixed in front. "I know what you can do for me. I thought of your reaction." A justification for his behavior would do. Persuasion was better than force, "and it is true how unbelievable it is that you are my girlfriend so easily."

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how her shoulders fell, accompanied by the glow that died out in her orbs. Suddenly, Kotoko stood, nodding, intending to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked angrily, for not understanding what she was doing and being ignored at the same time.

"I understand… what I have to do for you is… to forget that you said I'm your girlfriend," she whispered brokenly.

Naoki frowned. When had he said something like that?

He reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her when she thought of running away. He felt her soft skin beneath his hand and felt how small she was in comparison to himself.

He thought about her words for a second, he had the perfect opportunity to dismiss the girl as his candidate and find someone with better credentials; but something in his head dismissed the idea and he persisted in continuing the execution of his course of action as it was planned from the morning.

"Do not be silly." He forced her back into the seat. "I told you this morning that you are my girlfriend, I don't break my word." He was indignant that she believed him capable of such behavior.

He frowned more as she tried to hide her head and a low tear running down her cheekbone. She was a ridiculous, sentimental girl.

 _His mother would love her._

He had an idea of how he could handle it.

"My parents and those who know me won't believe that I so easily agreed to associate myself with you." He went on with the previous topic, trying to express it so that her intellectual capacity would allow her to understand it so he wouldn't have to repeat himself. Then he released the girl's wrist. "So to the others we will say a different version. My parents will want to know how we started, when you meet them…"

"Will I meet your parents?" She asked, interrupting him.

"Yes, and I yours."

"I only have my father," Kotoko muttered in a low voice.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said respectfully for the deceased woman.

"Do not worry. It was a long time ago and you didn't know." She paused. "And… were you saying?"

"No one but you and I are interested in how we started, but my parents and yours will be curious. My mother, in particular, wouldn't trust me to want to start with you without knowing you and therefore wouldn't want to accept you."

He hated having to talk more than usual, but he needed to be explicit this time. She opened her mouth and he looked at her, scolding her for wanting to interrupt him again. She was a disrespectful girl. She had a lot to change.

"She will find more logical than, for my personality, I'd accepted you some time after you insisted, when we already had the time to know each other. With today's letter, I finally decided to make you my girlfriend."

The girl seemed to think for a moment.

"What I have to do for you… is to take care of your reputation by saying that you have become my boyfriend because you agreed to give the F girl a chance, after I insisted a lot?" She asked with her index finger on her chin.

He nodded. "Only the two of us are concerned with what actually happened," he reaffirmed.

"I guess so. My father won't care and if it's what you want in return for forgiving me. I will do it for you!"

He bowed his head, satisfied. She was naïve enough that she didn't know when she was being manipulated. A feature that he would take in his favor when he needed it.

He glanced toward an infinite point, thinking of nothing in particular, and he almost seemed to see a flash of light in the distance, on the periphery of his vision. He dismissed it with a shrug referring it to the sunlight and the beam resulting from the reflection.

He looked back at his watch, ten more minutes before the warning bell rang to return to class.

"I don't know… Eh. If you would like… or could you…"

"What do you want?" He asked Kotoko, tired of her hesitation. He didn't know if her insecurity would get him fed up with her, but he would make sure that she would change in favor of the child they might have in the future.

"Today my father and I celebrate that we move to our new house and I can invite friends. You…"

They hadn't been "together" a single day, and she was already planning on bothering him with her affairs. She was quite the case. He was willing to see her occasionally, but he would not let the girl decide what he should do with his time.

"I have activities to do in the afternoon."

"Yes, my apologies, I should ask in advance."

Kotoko cleared her throat.

"I've never had a boyfriend and I do not know how… shall we meet at break time or outside high school? Do we share our numbers?"

Naoki thought for a moment. "In the breaks, I read in the library after lunch. I dislike being disturbed as I read," he added at the end so she could not think of showing up at the place.

"Outside?"

"I have duties and tennis practice."

"I'm never as busy as you," she replied with admiration in her tone of voice. He avoided rolling his eyes in their sockets.

Pathetic.

"And when is your birthday?"

Six minutes.

He supposed that she should know when her mother questioned. And it was logical that he couldn't send her a list with information about him to learn it. Her intellect was so little and she would forget to read; the best bet was that he told her. Also, the obviousness of his intentions should not be uncovered.

"November 12th."

"Mine is on September 28th. I'm older by just over a month." The redhead gave an amused laugh.

Four minutes.

"Don't you feel a bit odd?" He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I do, this morning I woke up thinking I would give you my letter and that you would read it… I had the illusion to meet you later… And today I'll lie down in my new house and when I get up tomorrow I'll think it was just a dream that you wanted me to be your girlfriend. Did you imagine that today you'd arrive home without being single?"

Two minutes.

"No," he admitted. He thought it would be at least two days in which the matter would be decided.

"It's good not being the only one."

"It's the end of the break," he intervened before she could think to speculate on the subject.

"How quickly time flies!" Kotoko said in response.

At least that was the case for her, he thought dejectedly. To him, all the time was relatively slow, although objectively it wasn't. When he read, did his homework, played his tennis games, or any activity he was involved in, the running of the clock, subjectively, was eternal.

"A break during the week, here."

"Hey?"

"Give me your phone number to tell you when I can."

The bell rang just as he saved her phone number. With a brief nod, he bid farewell to the redhead, who did nothing but smile more widely than in the morning.

He would have to get used to it.

 **[...]**

That same night, after dinner, the Irie's were in the living room; three of them watching the news. Naoki was, as always, focused on the book in his hands, a manual about the updates in writing scientific texts, which would allow him to see the flaws in the latest publications.

"What day could your girlfriend come to dine with us, onii-chan?" his mother asked, insistent again on the matter of the girl. She couldn't just leave the issue unaddressed, pestering him when they were at the table and now.

He would have gone to his room if he weren't expecting news on possible aftershocks of the low-intensity earthquake presented that afternoon. Once they say the important thing on the news, he could retire to his room and read until nine to sleep.

"On the earthquake this afternoon, the Meteorological Agency does not foresee aftershocks of greater magnitude and neither have given tsunami warning. The telluric movement is reported with a magnitude 2 on the Shindo* scale. So far no serious damage to the Japanese community is reported, except for a case that my correspondent Ishikawa Yamato will show us."

Intrigued, Naoki remained in the room despite having heard what he expected. What kind of damages could be caused by an earthquake of derisory magnitude compared with those they had already lived in the past?

The screen showed footage of a home in Suginami, destroyed because of the movement that afternoon. The thought about the ineptitude of the builder or motives that might've caused the wrong demise of the house crossed his mind…

Until they presented the owners of that place.

"My friend Aihara!" His father exclaimed standing up to the phone.

"Kotoko… What the hell?" he muttered wide-eyed, listening to his brother Yuuki giggling beside him.

The house of _his girlfriend_ had collapsed.

* * *

*Shindo stands for the unit of measurement in Japan Meteorological Agency seismic intensity scale. It could be different depending on the place.

* * *

 **AN: Now, this is how things get ugly.** **Ha,ha, ok, not like that...**

 _While reading, I started thinking of some parts of my story that, at the moment, I wanted to change from the original, like some thoughts of him. (but no, I won't do it, unless they change in the original). Let's see your opinion._

 _What do you think of this chapter?_

 _The full story just follows Irie-kun, so you'll have to imagine what happens in Kotoko's side..._ _Next part will continue with the "mixing", but then, things will happen he,he. Not all will show day by day, it's just that I believe, the beginning is important._

 _AW, if there is something not so clear, you're free to tell me. Chapters have, like, four thousand words, more or less, starting in chapter 3... so, not really long, or very short, but I hope they're enough. Also, having to change them to English, the extension is good for me XD_

 _And, before I finish my note... OMG! I have an enormous smile on my face... 18 follows in one chapter, great! Because of it,_ I'll do my best _to have the chapters in a short time. Not a promise, but an effort ;)_

 _All my love,_ **Karo**

PD: Don't think that just because the story is almost finished your opinions don't count, I can change things, eh!

* * *

Roshni: Thanks to you for the review. Well, this came to my mind when I was... ummm, now I don't remember it exactly. AW, the idea is kind of cliché, but it's interesting to imagine what would happen in this situation, right? Dunno ;) I really want to have you reading until the end.

Guest 1: Thank you, I appreaciate your words. God, I'll try to have the same response from you in the next chapters (even when you don't show it).

Guest 2: Well, I don't now, ha,ha, but I really hope this could be good enough for you all. At least, your language counterparts like it :D I like my story, as it goes, so, if I caught your attention in this two parts, I'm taking the right road, yeeah! Neway, thanks for the review.


	3. There is always time for surprises

**Thanks to** UnhappyHomicideExperience.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **There is always time for surprises**

* * *

Naoki heard his mother's rebuke to Yuuki for mocking the misfortune of others, and that forced him to react. The TV screen changed, ending to show the Aihara family of two and a number in which to communicate with them; then he paid attention to what his father was sharing on the phone with his friend Ai-chan.

Such mishaps should not be happening. It would be illogical to think that luck smiled upon him, as it insisted on putting him tests to broke his plans, like the offer he heard in the middle of his father's talk.

"Onii-chan, do you know the girl? _Kotoko_ , you said?" His mother questioned in an excited tone.

He nodded, frowning.

Would she live under his roof? Would he have to bear with her there?

Suddenly, he grinned, only a little, as it might convenience the friendship between the two men, although the presence of the girl in his home annoyed him. What better way to meet the daughter-in-law?

But he doubted that Mr. Aihara would agree that her daughter and her boyfriend shared a house, even if all the family was there. After showing his respects, he would have to assure him of his honorable intentions, or he would find himself in need of another girl.

 _It was the second time in less than twelve hours that he was given an opportunity to get rid of her._

Of course, it was too late to take it, it would have many consequences if it were so. The problem was that the two of them didn't know each other well enough to make it believable that they were dating.

He would think about it later, he told himself as his father began to speak, after saying goodbye and hanging up.

"Family… I have invited my friend and his daughter to live here, to offer them support in these terrible circumstances in which they are living. They will arrive tomorrow," announced his father, looking at them with authority, as a clear indication that they couldn't go against his orders.

"You're a very generous man, papa," his mother praised him hugging his shoulders. "I'll make the arrangements!" She exclaimed later. "A girl at home!"

He rolled his eyes, thinking she wasn't happy with his embarrassing childhood.

"It's unfortunate that my good friend and I could only find ourselves again through these terrible circumstances," his father said, accompanying his words with a deep sigh.

Or _derisory_ , to be more precise.

"Mr. Aihara can occupy the guest room and we can move Yuuki into Naoki's room and Kotoko-chan will be able to occupy Yuuki's…" Her mother spoke to herself, beginning to write in the little notebook she pulled out of somewhere. She looked up and watched Yuuki and him. "Does it bother you?"

Ignoring the irritation of his mother's ideas and preventing the negative reply of his younger brother, he spoke: "Not at all."

All three stared at him in astonishment.

He sighed, accepting the inevitable. "Actually, the girl in question is my girlfriend," he told, grinning ironically. He heard his family's groans of surprise, "but I suppose her father will have mistrust."

"It cannot be!" Her mother shouted, starting to jump. "Yes, she is! My suspicions were true! Onii-chan's girlfriend is Kotoko-chan!"

His father cleared his throat. "I'll have to talk to Ai-chan, Nao." He scratched his head like he was in the middle of a problem.

"I'll do it when they arrive," Naoki said, as if it were nothing, standing up immutable; his time there was over. "I will communicate with her," he added, uninterested by the looks he arose from his family, concentrating on his own affairs. "Good evening," he finished.

Climbing up the stairs, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and, without much ceremony, wrote:

 _You will live in my house. Tomorrow at break we will talk,_ _the_ _same_ _place as today. Naoki._

The rest of the time before bedtime he dedicated to thinking about the situation, without getting an answer from the redhead.

 **[...]**

Imagining that something would happen from the events of the previous day, Naoki wasn't astonished by the curious looks given by the young people, who, like him, were going to school. They murmured disconnected words in which the name of Kotoko and his apparent knowledge of the girl of bad fortune came out, which they accompanied with small malicious laughter from the collapse of her house.

Although unpleasant, he could understand it. Noting that there were no human losses, it was laughable that a construction collapsed by a movement of that magnitude; that spoke of the ineptitude of those who were in charge of the project. It was even possible that the owner wanted to save costs during construction and had certain requests to the contractor.

But he wasn't the one to comment, and it was disrespectful to laugh at the situation.

Shrugging, he headed to school thinking that it was better for Kotoko to accept his solution, but he also had to reason that she might not have received his message, because it could be that her phone had been lost under the rubble, although it was rare that someone of their age would be separated from their mobile. He would be approaching her that morning…

His steps paused for a moment and in disbelief he looked to his left, his sight following to his mother moving away quickly, carrying a briefcase and camera in hands, and "camouflaged" with dark glasses and part of her body covered.

His left eyelid trembled, while he swallowed a curse aloud, because she couldn't keep away from the issue. She must be following Kotoko, as she had perhaps done the day before with him, and the brightness he saw came from her camera. Her words of suspicion made sense then.

Irritated, he continued his journey thinking about the kind of life he would have in his house from that day; on one hand, there was his mother, on the other, his girlfriend.

" _We're now conducting a fundraiser of love for Aihara Kotoko-chan of class 3-F._ " The fastidious male voice suddenly cut his thoughts and he thought that this ridiculousness couldn't be happening.

He stopped short on the school grounds and watched the entrance of the building, where a black-haired man gave a laughing spectacle to the students, speaking on a loudspeaker in favor of the redhead, located right in front of him, whose claims condemned the acts of the other.

The dude— _Kin-chan_ according to Kotoko—was a fool to think that with a few bucks, he could help his classmate… _And to say that a headbutt had caused the fall of the house._

He noticed that those gathered in the courtyard watched him with interest, seeing him watch the exchange, so he kept on, listening like everyone. He would be wise to tell Kotoko his meeting place; in any case, the whole school was already speculating on mutual knowledge and that way he wouldn't have to look for her in her classroom.

" _I'm doing this because of you!_ " _Kin-chan_ cried exalted just as he reached to where they were.

"Are you done yet?" He asked in an ironic tone to the black-haired man, trying to think about what that idiot had to do with Kotoko, and what problems he would rise to his affair. If Kin-chan was a nuisance, he would remove him from his path in the most convenient way.

"Naoki-kun!" The girl jumped up and turned toward him, before giving him her wide smile, which caused gasps of astonishment around him and one of annoyance from the scandalous man. He thought with satisfaction that she knew her place.

"You!" The moron interrupted a foot away from his face. "Who do you think is the culprit of what happened to Kotoko-chan? To cause her pain! You have thrown a curse yesterday and since then she has been different! And then the collapse!"

He snorted with mockery. The fool should have decided, wasn't it _his headbutt_ that affected her home? Beyond that, was he so stupid to believe what he said? He wondered how he could even make it through that school year.

"The level two earthquake had nothing to do with it, did it?" He replied, with distilling sarcasm. "It was caused by me, wasn't it?"

"Of course!"

The people surrounding them laughed at the stupidity of that clown, although he didn't miss Kotoko's face of embarrassment at his first question, showing more common sense than his partner.

"Kotoko," he called with the intention to move away and give her his message, not wanting to waste more time.

"Shut up!" Cut the idiot. "And stay away from her!" He raised an eyebrow; who was that guy to give him orders? And what right did he have to command his girlfriend?

It was clear to him what image the idiot painted there, and he wasn't going to allow him to ruin his plans. He would show him who was superior.

"Kin-chan! Stop!" Kotoko pushed her friend, her face enraged. "Don't talk to him like that!"

The defense gave him a sideways smile, noting that he had chosen the girl well. His mocking gaze turned entirely to the black-haired man whose expression was one of rage and despair.

"Kotoko-chan, I want to help you! _This guy_ ," he said dismissively, "is a bad influence on you! You even defend him when he doesn't do anything for you!"

If he knew, he thought with malice.

"The further you are from him, the better!"

His sharp voice was beginning to irritate him, and he was thinking of taking extreme measures to silence him, more than what she was doing, watching her classmate with disbelief and annoyance in her face.

"And who are you to decide for Kotoko?" He asked raising an eyebrow, because if he didn't get rid of that fellow, he'd be a nuisance, and if he went away with her, the dude would dare to follow them.

"I am Kinnosuke Ikezawa! An eternal admirer of Kotoko and her future husband!" He exclaimed, taking Kotoko's hands.

She gasped and began to move her hands anxiously, pushing him away. "It's not true, Kin-chan!"

"Oh, it's like that?" He asked mockingly, ignoring the redhead. He would make clear one thing to that fool; if Kotoko would be someone's, it would be his, and someone like him would not come to disrupt his plans, when his parents were aware of her existence and she was ideal for his convenience.

"Yes! So leave her alone!" Ikezawa ordered, reaching out to grasp the girl's wrist and placing her behind him.

"Kin-chan, no," Kotoko said, struggling against his advance and escaping from where he was, to stand beside him, causing suffering in the dark-haired man, which satisfied him. She sighed and denied. "You are my friend and I thank you for what you do, but you cannot rule over my life, nor say that you will be my husband."

Naoki gestured to Kotoko to walk away, and she nodded distressed to the other, then smiled at him again. It was too effusive for his taste, although it suited him that she always showed that face of complacency in front of his acquaintances, without him making any effort.

"Irie! You won't get away with this!" Ikezawa returned to the attack, shouting, as they were about to pass the building's doors. "You're not…"

"I'm her boyfriend," he cut off, solving the matter once and for all, causing the little black-haired man to open his mouth, like the rest of the school that looked astonished.

In addition, so that there was no doubt, he turned to an excited Kotoko, lifted her by taking her arms and joined his lips to hers, before the hallucinated eyes of her own and those present.

It was so fast and mechanical that with the start-of-school bell he parted, but satisfied, he noticed that no one was able to say a word and that he had accomplished his task.

With his hand on her back, he guided Kotoko inside, pulling them away from the outside looks, to go to class.

"Did you get my message?"

She denied, her eyes glued to his face and her face as red as garnet. "At the break, we talk, in the yard."

Kotoko nodded, pausing, and he hurried off with no more intention of wasting his time.

Only for an instant did he pause to think of the warmth of his own cheeks.

 **[...]**

With his usual calm behavior and indifferent to the glances, Naoki went to his meeting point with Kotoko, thinking that he had been spared the complaint from some professor by what happened in the front yard during the morning. Whether it was because of who he was or because it was a matter prior to the classes, he did not mind (as well they didn't claim for the actions of the idiot of F).

In other circumstances, he wouldn't have done what he did, but after considering it during the event with Ikezawa, it was the only possible solution, since it served to get rid of him. Likewise, he thought his mother would talk to Kotoko and the best thing was that if the indiscreet question about kissing arose, at least it would have already happened. At some point it must pass, too.

He wasn't happy with himself for doing it in public, although the face of stupefaction and defeat upon the idiot was a profit. Even if he had no practice of kissing and could have made a fool of himself.

And it was not that he had given more thought to the subject, but he could admit that if he had to repeat it with her, in the right way without just gathering two slightly parted lips, he could not just reject it, less considering that in the future they would do other things.

Kotoko lifted her flushed face as he sat down beside her, internally a bit surprised to find her there… and by the direction of his previous thoughts.

"Hi," she greeted, adjusting a lock of hair behind her right ear. "I'm sorry, for the morning," she said, nodding apologetically. When she rose again she had to rearrange the rebellious strands.

"My father offered for you to live in my house," he said simply, looking at her. From his father's words, he knew that the two of them hadn't been injured, and he could corroborate it, so he didn't have to ask a question he knew the answer to.

Her eyes widened. "For real? Dad never mentioned… your parents know that I…" Her face turned a visible pinkish tone. He nodded. "I… you… what will your parents think? I almost don't know you and they'll ask me, they will think that I am inadequate and…"

That caught his attention and whatever he planned to say was discarded, with no better option than such topic. "What would you like to know of me?" He asked as if nothing.

"Everything." Kotoko's eyes widened in horror. "And Dad doesn't know anything, it won't seem appropriate… And… I don't think… now with more reason it'll seem an abuse of the situation."

"Kotoko, shut up."

She closed her mouth and he grinned at her obedience. It was so simple with that girl.

"I'll speak with your father."

Kotoko nodded hesitantly, biting her lower lip.

"Did you lose your phone?"

"I forgot to recharge it. When I arrive at the hotel, I will do it," she whispered pensively.

"Well, send the questions you want to know and I'll answer them."

She offered him a smile before lowering her head, as if she were inhibited by his presence. Then he noticed a detail, she had no lunch. Logic told him that it was impossible for her to prepare it in a hotel room.

He opened his package and held it out to her, offering her the little sandwiches her mother gave him for food. Kotoko looked up in surprise.

"Eat," he said, waiting for her to take one before he did.

"No-o…" she whispered, shaking her head slowly. "It's yours, I'll go to the cafeteria."

"There's enough for both of us," he said, realizing that his mother must have thought he would see her, because she gave him with more food than usual.

"Seriously…"

"Kotoko, take one or neither of us will eat," he interrupted dryly, so she wouldn't give any more replies.

From her pink lips came a sigh before following his instruction.

"Thanks for the food," she said. Then, so fast that he didn't see her coming, she rose and pressed her mouth to his cheek, pulling away with rosy cheeks. "Thank you, Naoki-kun."

Surprised, it took him a few seconds to recover the temper to take one of the sandwiches and make space between the two to deposit the bento box on the bench.

She ate without a word and he thanked the silence that was made, broken only by the bell, after which she said goodbye, smiling as he noticed she did at all times.

He watched her walk away before imitating her, her small gesture of gratitude etched into his head.

He smiled ironically, it was not like he could forget something.

 **[...]**

Preparing for the final test he owed to his father, Naoki began to descend the stairs, seeing the effusiveness with which the Aihara were received. She stood a little apart, flushed by the flattery of which she was the object.

"Nao, it's good you're already here," his father said relieved.

"Be welcome," he said to the newcomers, giving Kotoko a brief glance, nodding slightly at his father, insisting on being honest with his friend.

"Thank you very much. I am Aihara, nice to meet you," came his father-in-law, the same good-looking man who appeared on television but looked better than the day before. He was in a suit, with more formality than Kotoko, who was dressed in a blue-green dress.

"I am Naoki, the eldest son. Nice to meet you. Could I talk to you for a few moments?" He asked, looking at him straight ahead.

Mr. Aihara saw him intrigued, but was prevented from answering by the arrival of his mother.

"Welcome!" Exclaimed his effusive mother. "Thanks for coming, we've been waiting for you excited. For you, Kotoko-chan. She's a wonderful girl, I told you, papa. The photos don't do her justice." She showed one of the photos she had taken that morning, which she had presented all afternoon, to his irritation. "I could not contain myself," she said with a small laugh. "Anyway, it must have been difficult for you, Aihara-san. But come in, come in," she invited and looked at him for a second. "Have you already told him?" She asked and he denied.

"Excuse me, I don't understand." Mr. Aihara watched him bewildered.

"Come in, you're home. First, you have to get comfortable."

"Thank you," replied the man reticently, more insightful than he thought Kotoko's father would be. He took the suitcases and entered confidently. "Kotoko, come on."

"Yes," she said, and gripped the handle of her small bag, moving forward.

His father closed the door behind them.

"I'm so happy, I can go shopping with Kotoko-chan, bake pies, have company with aesthetics…"

The entrance of Yuuki interrupted the monologue of his mother and the attention that Mr. Aihara gave him.

"Ah, Yuuki. This is papa's good friend, Aihara-san… and onee-san Kotoko-chan." Yuuki nodded to his mother, giving the red-haired girl a very interested look, who cringed at the scrutiny, which didn't go unnoticed to the father.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Irie Yuuki. I'm in the third year of elementary school." He focused on Kotoko. "Kotoko onee-san… I'm doing my homework right now."

Naoki stiffened at the sound of it, because his brother never asked for that kind of support. What was he up to?

"…so, can you please teach me how to read these kanji?" Yuuki concluded, showing his notebook to a stupefied Kotoko.

The face she put on seeing the page almost made his nose wrinkle with disdain, because it was embarrassing that at her age she was concerned about a simple task of children, of which was clear she didn't have the answer.

"Eh," Kotoko gave him an embarrassed look, "sea-pig?"

Really? Naoki thought, suppressing an ironic laugh, checking the girl's idiocy. That was incredible. Of the many silly people, he had to cross with one like that, of which his family was aware of their relationship. He didn't think it possible that her intellectual capacity was such; although it served him her little intelligence, there were levels… And precisely he had to find out in front of his parents, before whom he couldn't show his displeasure.

"The second?" His brother insisted monotonously, avoiding to say the answer.

"River-pig?"

"And…"

"Yuuki, leave it," he cut, not because he wanted to avoid her the embarrassment, but because he couldn't continue to witness such nonsense.

His brother, surprised, looked at him and he rebuked him, causing him to nod in silence and that the others gave him his full attention, especially Mr. Aihara. Yuuki left with his shoulders down.

"Can I talk to you, Aihara-san?" He asked as before.

The man caught sight of his daughter, narrowed his eyes at him, and sighed, nodding.

"There is no need for them to have privacy, if it is up to us all," her mother interjected, placing a hand on his arm, while having a visual exchange with his father. "Do you agree?"

He snorted but waited for the answer from the older man, who shrugged. Kotoko didn't know where to put the face of the discomfort and his father looked nervous.

They all went into the living room, at the suggestion of their mother.

"Sir, yesterday a complication arose," he said when they were comfortable, beginning the speech he thought the day before. "I accept the guilt and I promise to fix it. First I would like to apologize for not having consulted you before and let you come here tonight without full knowledge of the facts. Kotoko and I are getting acquainted and I know it is inappropriate to think that you can live at home if we go out together, but I do not want you to reject my father's offer because of me. Yesterday my father communicated his invitation, and because I was not sincere in advance, they ignored my relationship with your daughter." He stood up and bowed his head. "I offer you my respect and my sincere regret. I would like to ask permission to stay with her and accept you to remain in our house; I intend to act honorably."

A few moments passed before the man in front of him cleared his throat.

"I don't know what to say, I didn't expect it. Go back to your place." He did so, and without seeing anyone else, waited for the verdict. "You seem to be a good, young man, and you are the son of Iri-chan. Besides, your parents trust you." The man looked away and looked at his daughter, sitting next to him, her eyes lowered. "But Kotoko… I guess you're special because there's never been anyone before. You do know how she is, don't you?" Naoki nodded at him briefly, fully aware of what he meant. "She is my only daughter and she is kind, I do not want her to be hurt in the end…"

"I won't do it, sir," he replied without a hint of doubt, seeing no reason why she should be. How would she be hurt by his side? She would be more than benefited by his side. "My intentions are the best."

"Then I will trust you and accept your requests, Naoki-kun. Take care of her."

He inclined his head in gratitude.

"Yes!" Cried his mother at that moment running to embrace Kotoko, as she was holding on to every moment. "My son is very fortunate to have a girlfriend like you," she said with great joy. "I'm so happy to have you as a daughter-in-law."

"Thank you, Ai-chan," his father said.

Kotoko remained silent, but finally looked up and smiled enthusiastically, which he also had to do, with less effusiveness, because he felt satisfied to have achieved his goal. The expressions of pride of his parents assured him the fulfillment of the request of three days ago, whose effects would appear through time.

As always, he had been successful.

"Come on, onii-chan, help Kotoko-chan with her stuff, I'll show you your room."

He sighed and nodded, saying goodbye to the others, following his mother's instructions. She was speaking to her interlocutor, who didn't seem to be able to keep up with the chatter, although she was excited and kind to her. Kotoko was respectful and had immediately gained the sincere affection of his mother.

They fitted perfectly. That, at least, compensated for her lack of intellectual skills.

"Do you like it?" His mother asked, finally remaining silent in the room, which had been transformed at a surprising speed by his mother's work. Now it was a space covered with pink, yellow and purple colors. "I always wanted to have a girl."

"Yes, it's very beautiful. I appreciate it, but I'm sorry for the inconvenience that must have been taken," Kotoko whispered softly caressing a teddy bear on the bed, which she took holding it to her body.

He leaned against the doorframe, seeing that there was no trace of Yuuki's room, and recalling his awful childhood with something similar. He shivered, unable to help himself, folding his arms.

"I'll leave you alone so that Naoki can help you unpack," his mother said with a mischievous smile, giggling. "I have to prepare dinner."

He sighed and went into the room.

"How do you want me to help you?" He questioned, thinking that all she brought was clothing.

"It's okay, I can do it alone, Naoki-kun. I only…" She blushed "…have my clothes."

He shrugged and nodded, turning around to leave the room and finally have time to read in peace.

"I'm sorry I didn't look very smart in front of your parents."

He snorted at himself, as if they cared a lot. They were happier because of her personality and appearance than her brain function, as they took more importance to her photograph than her belonging to Class F, with the exception of Yuuki, who did that scene by such reason.

He looked at her over his shoulder with his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. "You don't have to apologize all the time, it's annoying," he said because he didn't want to hear it constantly. "But… I didn't really think you were so dumb."

Kotoko lowered her head quietly and he left the room closing the door behind him.

"Do not repeat that scene," he muttered as he crossed paths with his brother.

It was unpleasant to witness the stupidity of people.

* * *

 **AN: Hi!**

 _You'll be happy to know that, after next chapter, which shows the "list thing", unexpected scenes will come. Take it as... here ends the "introduction" ha,ha,ha. Hope you liked it, and you're free to give me your thoughts._

 _With love,_ **Karo**

* * *

Guest: Ups, I'll do my best to fulfill your request; I know how much suffering gives the waiting. Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Claudia: Wou, thanks. I'll finish the story, don't worry. Even if it takes me years (which I hope don't). The original one is finished, with copies in lots of places... ha, ha. You're so nice, saying that Kotoko changes Naoki... until now, anyone have never tell things in that way (more like speaking wrong of him XD). I appreciate your review, and thanks again, for reading.


	4. You aren't always what you seem

**Chapter 4**

 **You aren't always what you seem**

* * *

The next day, at breakfast, Naoki looked questioningly at Kotoko. She was sat in front of him, silent, lost in thoughts that made her take her food with a slowness that would delay them to go to classes, and he was never late.

"Mom, you didn't give me the same socks as onii-chan," Yuuki said, waving a pair of white socks in his hand, instead of the black ones he normally occupied, a neutral color that didn't attract attention and went well with everything. "I want to be like onii-chan!"

What was going on with his brother that day? He never did such scenes, he knew that he admired him, but he didn't put on a childish attitude like that, demanding to fulfill a ridiculous request.

Unless the presence of _his girlfriend_ at home brought out that side of the child, in order to get his attention and not be belittled because of the girl.

If Yuuki knew the truth, he wouldn't have to worry.

Kotoko was so imperfect that she wouldn't take much of his interest, his limit being when in front of his parents, where he could maintain the image he hoped for. Of course, he would have to shape her a bit to fit the standard of living with someone like him.

Yuuki grunted low and settled into the seat next to him, while his mother did so in the place next to the self-absorbed redhead.

"Did you sleep well, Kotoko-chan?" Her mother asked in a playful tone, attentive to the face of her daughter-in-law, who finally stopped having her head on the clouds and smiled slightly.

"Yes, thank you very much for asking. I'm comfortable."

"Are you well?" His father asked, smiling at Kotoko, pleased with the response. At least she'd had a good acceptance from them both. He would even dare to put his finger on the fact that they were more at ease with her than with him.

He spoke that more for his mother, who was fascinated with having a "daughter".

"Yes, Irie-san, everything has been perfect."

"Even Ai-chan has enjoyed it, right? Because he has not come to breakfast," his father said.

Kotoko blushed, embarrassed. "I apologize for him."

"There is no reason to. After all, he is a chef and he has shifts until late at night," his father replied with a laugh, lightening the redhead's embarrassment.

"Kotoko, are you done?" He interjected as he finished his breakfast, rising to his feet. "Enjoy your meal."

Kotoko jumped in her seat, hurrying the last part of her meal to catch up with him. She swallowed all the rice as if there were no tomorrow.

Naoki, being disgusted by the scene, went to the front door and began to put on his shoes.

"Thanks for the food. May you have a nice day," he heard Kotoko say. He frowned, listening to her walking around in the house and hoping he wouldn't be late.

Did she have a personality disorder? Before, she was all calm and now she was like a whirlpool. He found it annoying.

"I also want to go with my onii-chan!" Yuuki exclaimed, running behind Kotoko.

He took his things ignoring both of them.

"Yuuki, you still have time!" Her mother reproached, reaching for the child, whom she raised in her arms to stop him. "Let them go alone, they'll want privacy," she added, winking at him, which displeased him greatly.

Naoki opened the front door of his house and left at a leisurely pace, leaving Kotoko who was still putting on her shoes. He hoped it wouldn't be routine of her to take a lot of time because he didn't want to waste his time on her, even if it made him look bad in front of his parents.

What would be tedious was if that the day to day in his home became scandalous like that moment; Yuuki wanting to hog him, Kotoko being effusive, her mother acting like a real intrusive Celestina*.

He kept walking until he heard the redhead's footsteps behind him.

"Kotoko," he called as they approached the subway station.

He looked over his shoulder, finding her with the same lost expression from that morning, which wouldn't have irritated him if it were another time. He stopped and held out his hand to stop her with his index finger on her forehead.

She blinked and tilted her head to the right. "Eh, what happened?"

He snorted because she couldn't even conceal how clueless she was. _Another of her virtues_.

"Pay attention to where you're going, just in case we don't go together," he said wearily before continuing on to the station. "Do not get distracted."

"Yes, Naoki-kun," she replied, making him imagine her taking her right hand to her head as if he were a general.

The thought gave him grace and his mouth rose slightly.

 **[...]**

His journey to the school didn't have more incidents than the one of her being dragged by a crowd of people because of her small size and the wrong position she occupied when entering the train. He was obliged to hold her and return her to the transport before the doors began to close, interrupting his reading.

She avoided the reprimand of his part by recognizing her error, with the look he gave her before returning the attention to his book.

When he passed through the gates of the institute, the tedium began. Every student seemed to have something to say, whether for good or bad.

It was amazing the number of atrocities that could leave the mouth of pubescent adolescents. Their excessive production of hormones, which somehow hindered the oxygenation of the brain, with consequent death of neurons and the impossibility of synapses between them, caused the nonsense and absurdities that they created in the way of rumor. It didn't matter whether they belonged to Class A or F, the assumptions they came to were equally stupid. Being surrounded by parasites like that, even in the current years, was impressive.

He wouldn't be bothered repeating in his head the content of the comments that were in school; well, he wouldn't forget them, but to bring them up consciously was different.

The worst case was that they interrupted the always calmed class where he studied, even two weeks' prior to the midterm exams. More than once he had seen his classmates exchange papers between themselves, which once read caused glances in his direction.

All because the best student in all of Japan had a relationship with a silly girl.

He imagined a huge response, but not that; although part of it could be a bit attributed to his representation in front of the institute.

Well, what they thought, he did not care; in front of his parents everything had gone smoothly, and the idiot nuisance of F had been dealt with.

He hoped that after the first two days, all this unwanted attention—that burst into his calm—died.

He concluded a mathematical problem and took out his book waiting for the end of class before lunch. He saw Watanabe—the only worthy one within all of them—ended his problem and began to review the lessons.

Naoki sighed, it was common for others to study before testing, whereas for him that was unnecessary. He didn't have to struggle when he had an exam in front of him, he responded to it simply whereas everyone else battled, including those from Class A.

Not even the impending tests unnerved his monotonous life.

At least, he would have a minor modification from now on, working on what he would do once he finished high school. Everything he intended he did too well; maybe he wouldn't attend college, he was more likely to learn on his own more things than in the normal four years involving the upper study.

The bell rang, making him leave that issue for now. Instead, he took out his lunch and left the classroom accompanied by Watanabe. It was customary, before exams, that the other met him to discuss the contents.

On their way to the cafeteria, his blond companion stopped him halfway down the corridor.

"Is that Aihara-san?" Asked the other, forcing him to pay attention to what he wanted to show him.

Naoki just hoped—repressing a sigh of annoyance—he didn't intend to ask him about the relationship between the two.

He turned his head to his right and, indeed, found the unmissable hair of Kotoko at the end of the corridor, where she was cornered against the wall, intimidated by five girls.

His eyes narrowed. "They aren't causing trouble, right?" Watanabe mused adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

Both turned their attention to what transpired a few steps from them. Surreptitiously, he met the gaze of hate from the idiot of F, who saw him from head to toe, looked at Kotoko and turned his attention to him, as if waiting for him to stand between the girls and her.

Sincerely, Naoki didn't see why he should be in the middle of this situation, as long as no serious thing happened; the girls were asking about her relationship with him. Even he had no idea if they were friends of the redhead. Some women, among friends, had a habit of intimidating another group to get all the "juicy details", which could be the case there.

Watanabe, as him, convinced that it was a common interrogation, shrugged.

They were ready to leave when the words of Kotoko's interrogators grew louder.

"You don't deserve to date him, F girl!" One uttered, seconded by nods from the others.

"Yeah, he just wants you for one thing, because you're a fool!" Said another, then laughed with her companions. "Irie-san is too much for one little thing like you, an idiot."

Did those fools dare to insinuate that he was a scoundrel? His eyelid twitched and he knew by the look of Watanabe that he expected a reaction from what these stupid girls were saying. More because Kotoko didn't hint to fend off insults.

Didn't she know that cringing as she did was proving they were right? That was something he had to teach that girl.

"You're the silliest at this school!"

He admitted that there was a point for the argument, but only if it was him who said it, those stupid girls were not one to question the intelligence of Kotoko when they gave clear indication that they were on her low level.

"And you think it will last."

"You're so dumb, F girl!"

When he was about to take a step toward them, Kotoko's position changed, taking them by surprise. Something in the last sentence of the girl that bothered her made her raise her head and face the five so challengingly.

"You're wrong, I'm not dumb," Kotoko said in a strong tone, which surprised him, although he didn't let it show, interested by her intentions.

"Ah, aren't you?" The girls laughed at the sarcasm. They fell silent seeing that the attitude of their assaulted victim didn't hesitate.

"I will show you, and all those who think I am."

For a moment, her words hit him squarely. _I didn't really think you were so dumb_ , he had said last night. And it looked like the challenge of Kotoko was addressed precisely to him, although she wasn't paying him any attention. However, he didn't understand what was so special about what he said, for he had only said the truth.

"And how will you do it? You will proclaim it loudly?"

"No, you'll see my name in the top fifty."

For a moment, none of them knew what to say, and even he took a moment to notice that her seriousness was not feigned, Kotoko was serious.

 _Was she really that stupid?_

She couldn't solve some simple kanji of primary level and thought she would be able to to access the list of outstanding students. It was a surprise she had reached her current level of education.

Finally, the five girls collapsed into laughs.

"You're much more than silly, your naivety carries you to think that you will be able to reach that place. Only students from Class A and B access the list, what makes you think one from F will do it?" Spoke one with clear mockery.

"You'll humiliate yourself, and we won't forget your words. We will let everyone know."

Kotoko, ignoring them and giving them a sample of more class that they, made her way between them and disappeared down the stairs.

He was aware of the eyes of Watanabe and the idiot on him, alert to his movements and what would he say, but he just continued on his way, thinking that Kotoko really only had one thing of perfect nature.

 _She was a perfect idiot._

 **[...]**

That afternoon, after having finished the hours of class plagued with the announcement from Kotoko, he concentrated on his book—of Contemporaries in Architecture—when the redhead appeared in the doorway of his room. Yuuki hadn't closed it when he went downstairs to watch a TV show and he didn't bother to do so either.

Now Kotoko took it as an invitation to speak; honestly, he didn't want to do so, much less after the day he'd had, in which he realized that he had been linked to the silliest girl of the school. Even though at one point he thought she would suit his desires, now he wondered if it were possible, with her intelligence being lower than average.

"Do you need something?" He questioned without looking away from a sketch made by an acclaimed author, for a dome in Berlin covered in glass.

"Eh… I'm studying, and… I was wondering… if…"

"You want me to help?" He faced her with a raised eyebrow.

She nodded. "I want to show those girls they were wrong," she muttered under her breath.

"Why should I help you? You alone gave yourself that problem," he replied incredulously to her request; had she really hoped that he would waste his time with something so impossible?

"Yes… I know."

He saw her bite her lower lip.

"But I don't want to leave you in shame if I fail."

"You should've thought of that before," he said curtly. "Although nobody questions my intelligence, Kotoko. Yours is the one in question," he replied returning to his book, "and with only that fool proclamation, you put the rope around your neck. "

He didn't care what anyone thought of her at school, he knew his intentions, he was well aware of the few capabilities of that girl. Still, it was not his shame because they could question why he was with Kotoko, if he was an idiot to have her as his girlfriend, but he was still smarter than them in the end. He had a handle of his will and had the freedom to act as he wished.

"Well…" Kotoko spoke after a while. He thought she had gone.

"Shut the door when you leave," he requested turning the page.

He heard the click of the door and smiled because she did what he wanted, as she should.

From that moment he was absorbed in his reading, doubting the supposed wonder of some of the works displayed there until a few taps on the door interrupted the calm.

"Come in," he instructed and withdrew the book from his vision, directing it to the door.

Kotoko, again.

"Now what?" He asked with narrowed eyes watching her carefully. She looked suspiciously guilty, hands hidden behind her back, studying his face as if it were the most interesting in the world, releasing small giggles that played with his patience. "Have you finished watching me?"

If only it was that, she might as well retire. She couldn't believe that watching him could spread her knowledge. It was stupid.

"Uh, no," Kotoko stepped forward. "Oba-sama told me again to ask if you'd help me to study."

Did she believe that his mother having knowledge of it would serve to convince him? Threats of his mother fell on deaf ears.

"You can tell her I have matters to attend to, so you can go."

"She thought that would be your answer," she replied, putting two fingers of her right hand to her chin. "And she told me to insist."

If she gave him annoyance, less he'd help.

"My answer was…"

Kotoko brought to this sight her left arm and showed the contents of her hand.

 _No._

"As a last resort she gave me this, she said it would help you decide."

He felt the blood leave his face and dropped the book.

How her mother dared to give her a picture of him during the most shameful period of his life?! It was one of the images where he was dressed as a girl, one of the many that his mother, with her love of photography, had done.

He thought his agreement included not show them to anyone, not just Yuuki, but he was wrong. Now she had given it to his daughter-in-law to use it as blackmail.

He had to recognize his mother's wit. She was an excellent competitor.

 _She and his father were meant for each other._

"She commented that I could have people who would want to see this." He watched Kotoko see the picture with a delighted look. "You were so adorable… will you be my tutor?" She questioned shrewdly, blinking innocently; for a moment, he found it fascinating, although, angered by being manipulated and completely dominated, he ignored his reaction.

"We both know it's impossible, Kotoko," he said containing his anger. "I cannot promise you'll be among the first fifty, only divine intervention would achieve that. Today I will give you a break, we will begin tomorrow. Now go, I have to sleep. "

He gritted his teeth waiting for her to get lost. He was irascible, again he was being manipulated. He couldn't understand how it was recurring.

"You're the best, Naoki-kun!" She let her happiness show and he thought she pondered twice if coming near or not, but decided to retire with a smile. "I hope you have a good night."

He thought that it would be the only one in those two weeks.

 **[...]**

Naoki wanted to be wrong for the first time… Kotoko was worse than he had thought.

He had sat for three hours watching her fill her notebook with amazing doodles, which were supposed to give answers to questions that would make her worthy of, at least, eighty points in the tests.

She had struggled to do the simplest thing. He admitted being surprised that at least she knew the basic operations and was able to read and write.

The task was a total loss, not even a god could make her pass those tests, much less reach any position in the list of top fifty.

"I'd like to see what's on your mind. What do you do in class?" He muttered wanting to hit the book to Kotoko's forehead, to see if magically the information got inside.

Lack of sleep was affecting him.

And it was the first night.

"We will go from the basics. Pay attention!" He demanded, stamping the notebook on the table that had been carried there by his mother, so they could work comfortably.

He spent a long time explaining what he thought she must have known—and he didn't bother to find out what she didn't know, it would be useless now—; he spent another age waiting for her to finish.

"X is equal to seventy-two," Kotoko said loudly and he sighed, a simple quadratic equation that she should have mastered for her age, took her so long.

"Correct."

"Very well!" Celebrated Kotoko, hugging him excitedly; he, in his weariness, let her act.

"You have still left…" The room lit up interrupting them both, and they jumped in surprise.

His mother.

"I wanted to have a picture of you two together. You look so good. I have brought something to eat. I'll leave you alone now."

Without even breathing, she left to give them the privacy they needed to finish.

"Continue," he said, hands to his head, not wanting to fall into despair.

That marked the routine of the next two weeks, in which he finished so exhausted that he dozed while waiting for her to finish.

Kotoko had very few of those qualities desired for academic degree knowledge, but he saw much progress with her, with the study schedules that he made and the visits in the library he saw from afar, to which he was certain it hadn't happened in all her school life.

Rumors at school decreased in the first week, and two days before testing they resumed… with the imminent arrival of the tests to humiliate Kotoko before the entire school. But what could be done, although he was aware of her improvement, he didn't think she would really have a position on the list.

At least he had been able to glimpse the tenacity that he didn't imagine in Kotoko, whom nothing stopped her. She encouraged herself so much by an impossible, that he came to envy her for a few moments.

She put all of her in every effort and didn't give up, struggling to reach her goal, regardless of the scale that wasn't in her favor. She had the firm belief that she'd make it, and he didn't know if it was pity or admiration that she deserved.

Even being not so smart, she had a courage and a desire to motivate a team of entire work, because to him she had transmitted what meant true fighting for what you believed. And that, if you had the chance, you'll achieve what you longed for.

A couple of weeks had allowed him to know an aspect of Kotoko that didn't manage to fit with the idea that he had of her. _Perhaps she was more than he thought_.

Even if she failed, Kotoko had earned the desire for good luck that he gave her the day of the test.

 **[...]**

A week after exams, when the results were delivered, the silent arrival at school made Naoki suspect all were gathered in front of the board, witnessing first-hand the failure of the redhead who walked beside him, who couldn't hold her nerves and ran to where the list was.

He, more calmly, walked up there, moved by the interest of what the abusive would do to Kotoko at the time. He wouldn't allow what they did to her, the object of their cruel mockeries, when she had done a much better performance than them in those weeks.

He found Watanabe right in the middle of the way and the two headed to the target in silence, the same that received them at their destination, where they could hear the sound of a needle making contact with the ground.

Surprisingly, he noted that all eyes remained attentive to Kotoko, frozen in place in the midst of the congregation, her brown orbs focused on the end of the board. For him, all made way so that he could get close enough to where she was.

Using his life's practice, his expression didn't change, not betraying the impression that dominated him.

 _Kotoko was on the list._

Her name was in the last place; to which he could not look away.

It was the first Class F student that, throughout history, occupied a position among the top fifty.

Damn, against all odds, _he was wrong._

The first time he did it was because of his imperfect girlfriend. She had done it and was causing everyone to swallow their own words; him, with the whole school.

Suddenly, he felt thin arms embraced him, an enthusiastic Kotoko, who could take advantage of his stupefaction. Only two weeks of study and dedication catapulted her to that position, what would become of her if for years she had devoted the same interest?

"I did it, Naoki-kun!" Exclaimed a plethoric Kotoko as he thought to himself the great potential of the girl, knowing that, if he didn't handle her properly, he would experience the backfires. There was much more from that girl whom he called his girlfriend.

One by one, the gathered students—not knowing what to say—went away until there was no more than two of them. But Kotoko was still in her world; she was not even aware to the stares of disbelief, hatred, and even respect that crossed her bullies before leaving them alone.

It was true, _she'd done it._

And he recognized himself as a good loser. Therefore, in a humble way, he knew that she deserved the kiss that he gave her in that place; a prize for her victory; one kiss he wouldn't have given her if in those days she hadn't shown him to a distinct Kotoko, whom he would discover in the long time they would face together, that surely would bring him surprises like that.

Although, meanly, also the kiss he gave her had darker and despicable motives.

Kotoko's potential could be enormous, and he needed to keep her to his favor.

 _It was a kiss with the pure intention of bewitching her._

* * *

*Celestina: Like a matchmaker.

* * *

 **AN: Hello!**

 _Well, some parts sound better at English than Spanish... and the opposite._

 _Now, you see, Kotoko had to be on the top fifty, a yes/yes situation. And the photographs, too._

 _I don't have more to say, in the next chapter you'll see a little bad moment for Naoki._

Thanks for reading.

 _With love,_ **Karo**


	5. What's not said in words

**Chapter 5**

 **What's not said in words**

* * *

Naturally, for Naoki, kissing Kotoko meant nothing, it was just a brief union of his lips to her shocked ones. An action in which he didn't need to put in any effort, being it so trivial. A moment that could have a great positive impact on the relationship with the girlfriend he had.

With pity, he had realized that such exchanges would have to be repeated in the future in order to have the effect he expected. And, much later, it would be the foreplay to something else.

It wasn't completely unpleasant, to unite his lips with Kotoko, as it was just a mean to an end. But, also, it shouldn't be something unforgettable. Of course, it was impossible not to remember something if he saw it or heard it once, yet he could move it aside from his mind very easily.

Except for _this time_ , that kiss between them was brought up to his conscience each occasion he moved his hand to his chin, a habitual movement when he was at school.

It had to be that _it_ arrived at his consciousness by the reason that motivated the kiss: Kotoko reached an impressive position in the list and made clear that she was much more than she seemed. She could be an idiot, but if her ability was focused on a goal, she mocked possibilities.

Naoki imagined that, if he had rejected her letter, _she would have found a way to lure him to her_. He could almost bet his money on it.

He suppressed a smirk at the thought; as if he, without a goal in between, could have accepted someone like her in his life.

Bearing that in mind, he left the institute, classes finished, and went home, alone, ignoring the words of his mother to wait for Kotoko, as both of them had to go to the same direction and had the same schedule.

His mother stressed to be chivalrous with the redhead, but he didn't see why he had to wait and waste his time on what she did after classes. Those first two weeks she stayed an hour in the library, and that saved him of his mother's recommendation; now, he could simply excuse himself because she wasn't at the front gate and if they lived in the same place it was not necessary to spend all the damn time together.

The full truth was that he didn't wish for people to see them go the same way home, or cause some curiosity to arise and, suddenly, people decided to follow them and recognized their home. There were things that people didn't need to know. A rumor like the one that would spread if they knew that they lived together would be worse than one of the two as a couple.

Mornings were something else, it would be very obvious for him to leave without her, although for his benefit Kotoko stayed in her daydreams and thwy never followed the same timings to school.

"Naoki-kun!"

He sighed, and for a second was torn between stopping and to keep walking, but the latter won the battle, Kotoko would easily reach him if she wanted to.

"Naoki-kun!" Repeated the redhead closer, until suddenly he was pushed forward by the collision of their bodies.

Naoki took a deep breath to relax his impatience with the clumsiness of that girl.

"Sorry!" She exclaimed, standing beside him, five centimeters away from him. "I thought I wouldn't reach you before you got home," she continued, more calmly, "I saw you when you came out of the subway, but I was held back by the mass of people and I lost sight of you."

He made a sound with his mouth: acceptance, offhandedly.

"How were your classes?" Kotoko asked. In a sidelong glance, he saw that she shortened the distance between the two slightly.

"Fine," he replied plainly.

She nodded with one of her constant smiles, which made her eyes shine and that he was already nor so uncomfortable to see, because of the habit.

Kotoko giggled in a way that made him slightly wrinkle his nose. "Today everyone was looking at me," she said, covering her mouth with her hands, "and my classmates nicknamed me _the_ Irie of Class F," she continued.

He rolled his eyes at how ridiculous that sounded, but fools as they wouldn't have another way to call her. "They said you really were a genius because no one else had seen what you saw in me."

Naoki, who knew the truth about it, was grateful that none realized how he was also surprised about the situation. But no one noticed, and he accepted the shocked and regretful comments from his classmates who questioned his choice of girlfriend. At least, that would finally silence the rumors at school and again he would have peace in his place of study.

He admitted his fault in having them intrigued by his actions (the kiss), but that was for a suitable reason.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw the result and I know it was thanks to you, I told oba-sama that I can understand you but not my teachers; you're a good sensei, have you thought to be one?"

The suggestion was something he had not thought of, and he thanked her quietly for contributing to the analysis of what he wanted to do in life without knowing it.

He would devote some time to reflect on that.

Kotoko closed a little more distance between the two and he frowned. "Oba-sama also said to ask you if you could tutor me until I finish school," she voiced without taking a breath.

"No," he replied, because in that case, he would spend many hours with her, more than he wished to. Well, he was going to put her in his pocket, but he'd decide the time and moment.

It was easy for him to explain, to occupy all his evenings of the year accompanying her: no.

"Okay," she agreed and he saw her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

That seemed to shut her up, and he enjoyed not having to continue listening to her prattling along the way, another reason why it was better to walk alone.

"Look!"

Naoki stopped short when Kotoko stood in front of him, holding a picture before his eyes. He frowned when he saw that the two of them were there, showing when they fell asleep on the table during their overnight of study.

His mother with her old tricks, again.

"This was in the lucky charm oba-sama gave me the day of the exams, I opened it today. This is why I was very lucky," she stated in a cheerful voice. "This is the first picture of us together."

 _Sure_ , he thought sarcastically, making her aside to continue.

"This picture is only for me," Kotoko said and he sighed knowing he wouldn't have to insinuate that the image mustn't be shown to anyone; or she mustn't talk about them living in the same place. _On reflection, he should at least tell her the latter_.

She returned to his side looking at the picture in her hands.

"I'm glad that my results show that Naoki-kun has a good girlfriend," she murmured without raising her gaze from the printed photograph.

"Why?" He questioned, momentarily leaving aside his earlier intentions. Curiosity moved him. It had to be that she was happy to teach others, and himself, that she was not entirely foolish despite belonging to Class F. How was it related to him?

For him, occupying the first place was common, but he understood the meaning of proving others that he was better than they and good at what he did. Did Kotoko not see it like that? She had shown superiority by belonging to the top fifty, even though she was in the last place. And she said it was something related to him?

"Because I didn't want… for you to be affected by having a dumb girlfriend," she murmured; only from his good ears had he managed to hear.

 _I didn't really think you were so dumb_. Again his words. His concept of her matter to her so much? Why did she take into account his opinion? At least it was advantageous for his purposes, but she didn't know that.

"I know I'm not very smart, but I wanted to show that I can be better than what you saw the day I arrived home," she said a bit higher than the previous time. "And teach others also; to make you proud."

"Why?" He asked again.

"Because I love you and I care about what others think of you," she said smiling to his face. Her face glowed in some way, making her look different to his eyes.

He felt strange in response to that look and the happiness that she conveyed with her expression; he saw that she could be _unique_ if she smiled that way, because of the feelings she expressed.

"And I am very happy to be with you," Kotoko added, cutting away what was left between them to rub against him when walking.

How was it to want someone in that way? He did not understand why she had such feelings for him and how they had developed.

He identified within him something named as embarrassment, because he didn't understand and didn't think he could experience something like that, and because he had a tiny moment of guilt to be aware that she wanted him—she used the word love—in a big way and he was only with her to fulfill a purpose. But he dismissed it thinking that it made her happy to be his girlfriend, and _he_ was _Naoki Irie_ , he didn't need to say more.

 **[...]**

For Naoki, getting back to the study which drove him to start his relationship with Kotoko, accompanied by his father, was another bad omen, he expected no worse.

This time, it was his father who asked his presence alone and not him, so he didn't know which purpose the meeting had.

Dinner, full of joy at the extent of Kotoko, had just finished; when everyone scattered, his father called him to the study before he could go to his room to read.

With his usual calm, Naoki sat opposite his father, who was clearly uncomfortable. He was wiping the sweat from his forehead and his face was red as a tomato, in addition, he didn't look at him in the eyes.

Interesting.

"There's something I wish to talk to you about," his father said with obviousness, and Naoki nodded with respect, inviting him to continue.

His father shifted in his chair and nodded, clenching his hands before opening the drawer to the right of his desk, pick something that he couldn't see and reached out to him.

Naoki mimicked the gesture understanding he wanted to give him something and then he felt something light in his hand, quad and in a material that felt like plastic or aluminum.

He felt his neck freeze, having an idea and, after his father let the object from his hand fall, he approached it to his body.

It was a condom.

"Eh," spoke his father while he decided to assimilate the possible significance of that.

First of all, he preferred to listen, "I've been thinking and… I know that young people today have other ideas, I'm not asking you…" his father blushed "… _to do it_ , well, not right now, you know I like grandchildren," he coughed "… but in a few years… and… I'll feel calmer if something passed. It would avoid Ai-chan surprises and lose his trust in you, and… _after all_ _,_ _she is his daughter_ ," his father finished stammering and sweating profusely.

Naoki felt his ears colored slightly, he had never had a more uncomfortable encounter with his father. He could not say that, by common sense, since he had sexual consciousness, he had that measure of care in his wallet, but to appease the conscience of his father he would take it and save it.

Only, until now, he hadn't spent more than a slight thought to that and his father brought it to his consciousness. Not that he thought Kotoko had no appeal; in fact, her body, though small, had nice curves and he had noticed them. But in his head, he hadn't devoted much attention to her physical appearance, even though he was sure it would not be unpleasant because she…

"Thanks," he muttered trying to cut the advance of his thoughts, which had not progressed before because he was more rational and not guided by that kind of sexual impulses, although the normal teenager would think of it.

But he wasn't like the others. And he detested his father because he had made him take those things into account, he complained to himself leaving to go to his room. It was a clever gesture of his father to give the condom, but he knew him and his words insinuated more.

What nuisance had Kotoko caused with her arrival into his life…

"Oh!" A body hit against him, that wasn't attentive, and he raised his hands to hold up the other person, reaching a plush material around a small figure.

The strawberry smell was the first thing that told him the identity of the person, before looking down at the towel Kotoko had wrapped her hair in, pink, like the one around her body, which not long ago he had been thinking of.

Naoki turned away feeling slightly flushed, for the umpteenth time that day, and looked to his right, diverting his eyes from the fresh out of the shower redhead.

"What emba…rrassing… I… uh, I forgot my clothes in-i… No! I'm sorry!"

He heard a very loud closing of a door, and he sighed in relief.

Sultry.

He took his right hand to his face and rubbed his eyes hoping to placate the heat he felt.

Not in that hand he carried the condom?

He opened his eyes in amazement and looked on the floor for the packet that his father had just given him; quickly, he found it with his bright red color standing out against the pale color of the carpet.

"Kotoko," he whispered bending, wondering if she had seen it. And if so, what would she have thought?

He put the condom in his pocket as if burned, running towards his room.

Never had he been so embarrassed in his life.

 **[...]**

Naoki didn't know if Kotoko, the night before, had seen the condom that now burned in the wallet in his pocket, or if it was the clash between themselves that caused her to avoid eye contact that morning, but he didn't want to find out.

Fortunately, that day he had avoided the question at break time, in which he decided to stay in his classroom in order to not have a chance to come across her until departure time.

He just didn't want to relive the embarrassment of the previous day, that, if he could, he would completely erase from his mind.

In this case, he wanted to be able to not remember everything he saw and heard, as Kotoko said it was normal for a person, something that came up during their studies. He envied that for others days pass and incidents like that were forgotten, but there was nothing he could do to forget them and he just had to direct his mind to other matters. _Unless something stimulated his thoughts,_ which in the course of the day everything seemed to do it (because of that, the kiss was going back to his mind).

His whole body was tense and he felt his hands warm, and everything that happened made him want to send objects flying and spit on anyone who dared ask anything, but he managed to answer in his customary dry form, although they got away scary afterward.

It was no surprise then that, when he had finished the rest of the day, the eyes of his classmates who addressed him were afraid, and that they turned away when he saw them.

However, two hours prior to the end of school, watching them look at him and the whisperings among them, made him frown in irritation, because even Watanabe analyzed him carefully between times, but mostly thoughtfully.

"What?" He must have sputtered, although he wanted to ask with his voice of always.

Watanabe, looked sideways, then swallowed, and spoke: "There's a rumor," he whispered and licked his lips. "Accompanied by a copy of photography that can be proof."

An alarm went off in his head, making deductions. _Kotoko_.

"What's it about?" He asked almost under his breath.

"Rumor has it that you and Aihara-san live together," Watanabe said, with an uncertain face. "There is a copy of a photograph, posted on the board, accompanying, uh, the news." The light-haired bit his lip.

"And what do people say?"

The other was omitting that information accompanying the rumor. He didn't want to think what had contrived all vultures, with good bait. He wanted to listen to it. He cared little what people think about his personal life, but he didn't want the kind of rumor that would cause problems in school.

"They spread word you're a pervert, a freeloader that has put her in his home to bed with her, that you're not a good example, that Aihara-san will soon be pregnant… that she takes you to a bad road, paying you with sex, " Watanabe hawked, "and other things about her and you not worth repeating."

Naoki felt the blood rise to his head and his ears warm. The whole school would be gossiping at the end of the day and a teacher would approach him to give him a reprimand for inciting the situation or even to question him for that.

He nodded by way of thanks, because he didn't trust how the words would come out of his mouth at that moment.

He felt a great desire to go looking for Kotoko and to strangle her until he damaged her vocal cords, so she learned to keep her mouth shut for once.

 _And give an inspection to her head to see if it had common sense for not always sharing everything_.

As if he had not needed confirmation, at the change of hour, the tutor of his class called him to come and talk to him about the need for moderation and the importance of their future, and to ask him not to make his life public. The other teachers accepted that slip by his history, but expected in the future it would not be repeated.

Feeling that his head was boiling after that, the next and last class, he apologized to the teacher to go to the restroom, time he used to go to see the board and verify the proof of the loose mouth Kotoko, who needed to show restraint now that he had engaged her in full in his life, especially when he hadn't the option of bailing out.

Then he went looking for her. In Class F, where the teacher was absent, he found Kotoko laughing with two companions as if nothing was wrong, and that made him call her loudly from the door.

She jumped and smiled at him when she saw him at the door.

"Come," he said turning to return to the board, without waiting for her.

Naoki heard her footsteps approaching him from behind after a few moments, but it was very slow and he turned to grab her wrist and lead her, oblivious to her complaints of almost stumbling.

"What is this?!" He shouted in front of the board, where just the two of them stood.

Kotoko gasped at the photocopy of her photo, showing the two of them asleep, with words and drawings on the sides announcing they lived together, almost with immodest things embodied.

"How did this appear…" His _beloved_ girlfriend stopped and looked at the floor, which looked very interesting.

He pinned her against the board and extended his right arm to remove the paper and then begin to crumble it. "I don't care how this garbage got here," he snapped in the face of Kotoko. "But I would have expected one gram of intelligence from you to know that you shouldn't have opened your mouth on the subject. Only a stupid does not notice," he said angrily, turning away so as not to put his hands around her neck.

He threw the paper ball down and turned to go to his classroom without deigning to look once again at the face of Kotoko.

Seeing her would have caused him to do more than what he had done.

 **[...]**

After excusing himself of dinner proclaiming a headache, Naoki took a long, cold shower and a dose of aspirin, then went down quickly into the kitchen to look for food, before it did wrong to him taking medicine on an empty stomach.

While sitting at the table eating, his mother approached him and took one of the empty places.

"A lovers' quarrel?" She asked, smiling a little.

He raised an eyebrow in her direction, bringing rice into his mouth.

"You and Kotoko-chan have not dined with us citing a headache, and you've got here quite angry."

If she knew reality, she would not be so calm. Never had he had such an anger like that day, that, after several hours and showering, he had understood. He usually didn't let emotions affect him, and this time the situation exceeded him, even causing him a headache.

"Has it been something you want to tell me?" His mother leaned across the table toward him.

Naoki simply ignored her, answering that way.

"This inconsiderate son of mine!" She cried making one of her dramas, holding a hand to her head and pulling out a handkerchief with the other to wipe a false tear. "But I have a daughter!" She snapped suddenly, rising hastily.

He snorted, he didn't think Kotoko could say anything about his anger. She was just a very determined and inept girl who was lucky to do well on her tests.

He pulled a piece of meat into his mouth, nose wrinkling; _that wasn't very fair_ , he admitted that the redhead was not really very silly, but someone naïve and with lack of common sense. Against contrary belief, she wouldn't have told anyone they were living together and shared the photo, which was just _hers_.

How short her possessiveness had lasted. If it were him, he would have kept quiet and silent on the matter, because he was reluctant to trust others.

But she had an ability to speak and share what was going through her head, without thinking, he reasoned. And she was more confident with others. All this must have been the reason why she spoke more, to a person who betrayed her or thought as funny or romantic the subject, to consider the possibilities.

He had seen that Kotoko had no great malice.

Anyway, she was guilty and deserved not being spoken to by him.

 **[...]**

"Onii-chan."

His mother didn't bother to knock on the door and entered his bedroom closing it behind her, crossing her arms.

"What do you want?" Naoki asked setting aside his gaze from his book, momentarily.

She watched him frowning and he raised an eyebrow.

"What did you say to Kotoko to make her cry?" His mother questioned in an angry voice, approaching him.

Naoki raised his other eyebrow. What he said made her cry?

He would have to annex sensitive or susceptible to his repertoire of words to describe Kotoko. Romantic, chatty, naïve, confident, determined, protective and sensitive. All opposed to him.

Yeah, he had hinted that she was inept and stupid, but after a while she had to see that it was unwise to share information about two teenagers living together, boyfriend and girlfriend no less, and that people could only misinterpret or tell different stories for entertainment. If she saw it logically, she'd come to that conclusion.

"Nothing that you should hear, if she did not say so," he responded, going back to his book.

"That's the problem, Kotoko will not tell me anything, and she has said for me not to tell you how I found her," his mother said, taking the book away, sitting on the bed, forcing him to turn the chair, as to not give her his back.

"And how did you find her?" He asked the question for her to finish once with that. Yes, he had made Kotoko cry, she would stop later. That was all.

"She was devastated." That caught his attention, what did she mean? "And that made me think it was not a simple disagreement," his mother spluttered, looking grim.

"Devastated?" He asked squinting.

"Yes, as if she had spent hours crying and her eyes did not sparkle, she lacked courage. She was off."

Well, that did not sound like Kotoko. She wasn't quick to understand logic, but really more time should pass for her to be able to understand it.

He, more bound by the rumors, had already assumed what had happened, and she could forget his words because she couldn't remember everything like him.

That was it, what she needed was time. And next time he would take better account of how he expressed himself to Kotoko, because she was susceptible to misunderstanding what he was saying. Or find more implicit words.

"Onii-chan." His mother sighed, "I don't know if you understand, but I'll explain."

What had he needed to understand?

Surely his mother didn't think he couldn't understand something. "It's the first time you must take into account the feelings of someone else nearby, who's not your family and that does not know you so much. In the future, you will have to moderate your words and _soften yourself a bit_ , especially in your relationship."

He frowned, yes, he had thought he would give a better use to his words. He could not expect everyone to understand him.

"You see, sometimes people react differently when you do not care how you talk to them. Maybe you see logically what is said, but people also put their feelings first and they can get hurt, although deep down there is truth. Or say things guided by our feelings. Or act without thinking of others. I know your intention was not to hurt Kotoko, but what you said or did hurt her." His mother did a brief pause to her emotional's book speech. "And you should apologize."

This time his mother sighed deeply.

"You must not think only of yourself or as you see it, you've been in this position… I have often thought it's partly my fault you're like this and ask you an apology, dad always told me so." That was an issue they not touched by an instruction from him, and his frown told her it was better to leave it.

 _But remember_ that _made it all clear._

Now, he was the other children taunting him for a gender incident and Kotoko was in his place, getting teased for something that those who were part of gender equality, defended today. "Onii-chan, you're not a bad guy, you just sometimes forget that we are not pure human logic. _I do not know whether not to cause you harm_ ," she whispered very low, but he still heard and likewise ignored. "Now, you go to Kotoko and ask forgiveness."

Yes, less he and more she, less logical and _more feeling_ , he thought, wrinkling his nose when his mother went away and he stood in front of Yuuki's old bedroom. He was certain that it was the only thing that he could read and forget in the practice.

Naoki did not think to go over his head the readings he had done about the topic.

He knocked on the door of Kotoko three times and she never replied. Only by curiosity, because he guessed she was asleep, he opened it, to see if his mother had not exaggerated with the intention of giving that talk she was dying to give him. Tomorrow he would talk to her.

Quietly, he entered the room lit only by a lamp on the nightstand.

In the dim light, he saw his girlfriend lying on the bed and went to her. He squatted to better see her face and reached to recognize her wet eyelashes and the trail of tears on the pale cheeks of Kotoko, who had a little unkempt hair over her face. He moved it with his hand to see better and moved away quickly when she stirred.

He hit the table and stacked books collapsed, waking her.

He stood looking at Kotoko's red eyes, who blinked repeatedly. "Naoki-kun?" She called hoarsely; she, as well, faked a smile looking away in a futile attempt of him not seeing what he caused. "Is something wrong?" She sat up in bed.

 _How was it to want, "love", someone in that way?_ He asked himself again, watching in silence. For a brief moment, he thought of the afternoon event would not do well in bewitching her; in another, he tried to put himself in her place without understanding her, and he gave up because it would give him another headache.

He would do what he was supposed to do there and leave. Then he would keep the incident in his memory compartment away from his consciousness.

 _Only that he had never seen the real task of having to apologize because he was always right_. And his mother had pointed out that he did something wrong—without intention—, and while looking attentive to Kotoko, curiously, that his words in the afternoon were not entirely right. In addition, he promised to Shigeo-san not to hurt her.

On reflection with the words of his mother, perhaps anger _spoke_ for him. Therefore, that was why he tried to keep his feelings aside.

"I am sorry."

Those words did not come out of his mouth and he watched in disbelief at Kotoko.

"As I arrived early and I was alone, I was watching the photo before the others arrived," she explained and he listened to the origin of the events. "I was going to save it when my friends took it away from me, and everyone in the classroom saw it. They cornered me and I told them you were my tutor. Kin-chan," that annoying guy," insisted again where I live, saying it was suspicious, and I don't know what more, and others also began to ask and I had to tell them we lived in the same house. The whole group went against me," she finished looking down.

Twenty or more against one, very fair. _What he didn't consider, and_ needed _to hear._

Well, he would apologize and that was that. His lips parted and no words came; with a sorry would be enough, but it caused him discomfort. He had to say them. _Or not_.

He sighed.

He approached Kotoko and made her raise her face. She lowered her eyelids almost hiding her look; it was better that way. If she fixed her watery eyes on him, she would make it more difficult for him.

Naoki cocked his head slightly and bent to touch his lips to hers for a second, in a brief contact that had _meaning_ , not like the previous times, because this time it was sincere. And deep down he felt she made him understand her understanding and acceptance, or he was convincing himself.

He separated and removed his fingers from her chin.

"Tomorrow we will begin to study," he communicated, before leaving the room.

Perhaps yielding a bit she would see that he didn't want to hurt her.

Only _that one time_ he would yield.

* * *

 **AN:** Naoki should get used to be the cynosure of every eye, really.

If this was difficult for me in Spanish, just don't ask how was it in English. Really. Dialogs are easy to do, but thougths, my God. And this is where all starts, my friends.

I'm occupied, so now I have to go. Thanks for reading.

 **Karo**


	6. When the glass is half full

**Chapter 6**

 **When the glass is half full or half empty**

* * *

The next morning Naoki found an animated Kotoko during breakfast, which earned him a pat on the shoulder from his mother when she gave him his bowl of food.

He had to admit to himself that she was in better condition than she was last night; but all he knew was that the possibility of having her against him had been removed and it was fine for his purpose, _because it would keep her willingness for what he would require of her._

Indeed, in the evenings he would have to serve as her tutor; where it would only be profitable for him to analyze if an educational route was suited to him.

Being honest with himself, he didn't think teaching was the course to take in his life, mostly because to spend his years making others learn didn't seem like an activity that he wanted to repeat, less to a large number of people, many of whom would not see the importance of knowledge.

Thinking about that, he placed his belongings in his school bag more slowly than ever and nodded farewell to Watanabe, who left the classroom before him.

That day, to his own bewilderment, he had noticed that the rhythm of time didn't pass with its usual _relative_ slowness. He hadn't given a look at the clock and hours passed _quickly_. If he thought about it more, some few days like that had already happened and he couldn't find an explanation with which he could settle with.

Perhaps it was because he had deviated a little more from his routine.

"Irie-san?" The woman's voice pulled him from his musings.

Looking away from his bag, already full, he found the face of one of his classmates, with black shoulder-length hair and light eyes, there stood the girl who occupied the third place on the board.

"Koujiro-san," he said holding the handle of his bag, ready to go.

"Can I talk to you?"

She was already doing it, but he nodded anyway because it should be a school matter that he had to hear.

Koujiro lowered her head and muttered a phrase that was incomprehensible, causing him annoyance for wasting his time that way.

"What did you say?" He questioned wearily.

"I like you, Irie-san," she said a little louder.

Naoki was surprised but didn't show it, because he never considered that this quiet and focused teenager had interest in him, as she never gave a glimpse of it. Had he known, he would have considered her for the proposition of his father, but in reality, he didn't pay her any attention when it wasn't related to school matters.

The confession was nothing new, once a month there was a girl who approached him to express her feelings or to put a letter in his locker, which was disposed of, unread, once he recognized what it was. He didn't want to have useless confessions in his head.

However, it caused him curiosity that Koujiro's words came when he had a girlfriend, she had many opportunities to confess and was not a stupid teenager like many that liked him.

"Why do you confess?"

His interlocutor raised her face, her cheeks were flushed, and she glanced at the door.

"I didn't want to say anything because I thought I wasn't enough for... But since Aihara-san is... Never mind. I knew it would be useless," Koujiro said stuttering, and then ran towards the exit without looking back, removing relevance to the matter.

He shrugged and took the same direction, he had already lost some time with his classmate; he didn't give importance to what she said because it wasn't a major issue, as she had also abandoned it.

He walked calmly up to the metro station, frowning when he reached it, after finding in the distance the hair of his girlfriend in the company of the unmistakable figure of the F's idiot, whose body was placed too close to Kotoko, who repeatedly shook her head in denial.

Naoki approached a little faster than he would've normally walked, in order to hear what the loud-mouthed boy was saying. He hoped that he wasn't convincing Kotoko to do something stupid that he would regret later.

He stopped his steps behind the two of them, that waited for the arrival of transport. "Kotoko, if he cannot wait for you before he goes home, don't go out with him," the clown said at the time, with that nagging voice that caused him irritation and disgust just by hearing it.

Naoki's eyes narrowed at the intentions of the dumb, who didn't seem to understand that Kotoko was _his girlfriend_ and that he shouldn't interfere in his plans. It was very daring and stupid to want to meddle, even after she proved that she preferred him.

"Give me a chance, I already have a plan for us both together for eternity," the guy declared ridiculously, extracting a small booklet out of his pocket, opening up a sheet full of spelling faults and hearts, where he had written nonsense for a relationship of marriage between the two.

He stifled a laugh at such nonsense but smiled to himself.

If he allowed him to get away with it and stay with Kotoko, he would lose his plans because of an idiot, and he would not commit such barbarity, although Ikezawa, as he said he was called, well, he didn't care in the least about him. Only that the stupid guy intended to stand in his plans and that was something he could not accept.

If Kotoko wasn't his girlfriend, he would have congratulated them because they were at the same level. A union like theirs would be bad for society, for the children they would produce... Reality was that the capabilities of they both matched.

He could only imagine what the stupid family would be and that in itself was laughable.

 _Unpleasant_.

"So I'll walk home after school to prove I'm better than that arrogant Irie," Ikezawa said, after his romantic speech.

"Kin-chan, that's not necessary," Kotoko replied, making Naoki smile derisively at the deflation of her companion's shoulders. "And you live on the other side of town." Moron, he thought.

"It doesn't matter, Kotoko. I will accompany you. I would do anything for you!" Ikezawa exclaimed.

Naoki rolled his eyes. "You should learn to respect other people's girlfriends," he finally spoke, making the two F students jump.

Ikezawa, for his pleasure, blushed, although his eyes looked mad.

"Naoki-kun!" Kotoko's hazel orbs lit up when she saw him and turned away from idiot to stick completely to him. "I thought you'd advance home."

He glanced at her for a second.

"As you see, it's not necessary of you to accompany her, Ikezawa," he said raising an eyebrow towards the other, who seemed to explode in any second. "Come on," he told Kotoko when transportation made its arrival, ignoring the replies of the idiot.

"Yes, see you tomorrow, Kin-chan!" His girlfriend said goodbye without breaking away from him, making him smile with superiority to the rejected guy.

He was accompanied by Kotoko's prattle about her day, with the thought that from then, he would be careful of attempts by the other, and accept the presence of his girlfriend on the way home.

 _To which things he felt obliged due to her_ , he thought, stealing a glance at her, analyzing ironically that she seemed very recomposed after her previous state. If even her hairstyle had changed, she was holding her hair with a pin behind her head at a half ponytail.

It was like nothing had happened, the matter forgotten; but that was fine. At least, her smile continued, and that was a sign that his plan was on track.

 **[...]**

Kotoko jumped when Naoki dropped a book on the table to get her attention from what she was seeing on her phone screen. He didn't know how she had allowed him into the room if, within five minutes or more that he had been there, at no time she had paid attention to his presence.

It irked him how she was wasting his time that way.

"Sorry, Naoki-kun." She looked at the screen of her mobile phone biting her lower lip, making her seem very interested in what was happening there.

He frowned and folded his arms.

"I will only give you an hour and a half per day, no more," he said glancing at his watch. "And it's been eight minutes."

The redhead nodded and with a desperate movement threw the mobile onto the bed, reaching out to take a notebook. He was inwardly surprised at how quickly time ran.

"Math, I have math homework," she said opening the notebook quickly to a page with exercises of derivatives, the same subject he had seen in class a few days earlier.

He carefully inspected the annotations; which were unlike what his teacher had instructed them in class, who explained the method step by step until reaching an obvious stopping point. In Kotoko's notes, he saw that some parts were skipped. That could be the reason why the subject could be incomprehensible to students, he analyzed, whilst solving an operation beside her scribbles.

If the teacher of F took the same time that his took, it could make a significant difference to the understanding of students like Kotoko. It might be more suited to the abilities of the students of Class F. The sensei probably forgot _who_ he was teaching, maybe thinking he was dealing with good mathematicians and not, well, people with the _skills_ of his girlfriend.

He concluded the operation with all the steps and put the notebook back to the table to give an explanation to Kotoko.

He looked at her, finding her sight diverted to the phone on her bed.

It bothered him that her attention was on the device rather than on him, because she was wasting his time if she wasn't interested.

"Kotoko," he uttered through clenched teeth, making her jump and move her hazel eyes back to him. "Pay attention."

"Yes." Her eyes betrayed her a second when he was about to speak.

"What's so interesting about that phone?" He muttered, thinking of the annoyance that would be an hour and a fraction, with her giving more attention to an inert device, forcing him to repeat his words. _Which he hated._

"Naoki-kun, do you have a dream?"

He pressed the pencil in his hand firmly when she asked, for he had no positive response.

What was a dream, really?

An idea doomed to failure for a person without skills toward the end? An illusion that ended when efforts did not bear fruit? An aspiration, a yearning? An impossibility?

He had never had such a desire to get something, mainly because everything he worked towards ended up resulting well, once he put his mind on it. Weren't dreams for those who could not fulfill what they wanted? Or for those who felt a special interest in a particular thing? And they drove the people to act towards their goal?

He did not fit those descriptions in his head.

And that was one of the reasons why he was accompanied by Kotoko at the time, arisen from the concern that came to him one Sunday two months ago. Sitting next to Yuuki, he heard him say that his dream was to direct Pandai when he grew up (with his oniichan), designing toys like the drawings he had in his notebooks, which Yuuki showed him regularly. This made him see that his otōto, from his young age, wanted something intensely and enjoyed having a dream, and his actions were towards that goal.

He had seen that he didn't want to follow in the footsteps of his father in the future, as Pandai's chairman… and instead find _something else_.

It forced him to think about what he would do with his life and found nothing that caused the interest and excitement he sensed from his brother. It made him want to be interested in what he would do after high school. Because he had no life plan, no goal that would feel good to achieve.

"Naoki-kun?"

He blinked at the call of Kotoko, who looked at him closely.

"No," he admitted aloud for the first time to someone else. Kotoko would be present in his future, so knowing some of it would not be bad. And he wasn't a liar, he looked for the best response that avoided the truth, but he didn't lie.

He wasn't going to tell her he had one or ask to hear her own fantasies about her own dream and see that someone like her, or Ikezawa, had more aspirations.

In addition, to some extent he didn't understand, he felt the need to speak to someone else about it. That girl, his girlfriend, was the one who had asked, without assuming anything. At least she deserved to hear it.

A few seconds after his words, she dropped her shoulders and smiled slightly.

"Everyone seems to have a dream," she muttered, looking down at her math notebook, " _I would like to find mine_. So I want to learn from my subjects, graduate and go to college. "

So she didn't have a dream either. To hear it made him feel better, in a selfish way.

"What are you going to study?" He asked, genuinely interested in what Kotoko had said. He wanted to know what she thought of doing with her life and why, despite not having a dream. He was intrigued that she wanted to attend college, even without knowing exactly what she aspired to do, or the fact that it was a very large demand for her skills.

"I don't know yet," she replied naively and he found himself raising the corners of his mouth into a little smile that he hid when she looked at him, "but I want to go to college to experience and discover what I want from my life. I am very excited and I want to push myself to reach college and learn what I want in life. If I put in all my strength, I will achieve."

He saw, with admiration, the determination in the eyes of Kotoko, and felt jealous, because she, despite the low level of her skills, had something important for which to apply her spirit; she had an objective—in need of improvement—that she wanted to fulfill, and an emotion bigger than he had, even though his skills were better.

"What's the point, if most the things you do are wrong," he said, even though he suspected she would put in two hundred percent of effort. Her determination was very strong.

She blushed. "Well…"

"It does not matter," he cut in, wanting to return to what he was trying to teach.

"What will you study at university?" Kotoko asked, _as he feared_.

She would not leave the subject so easily. And he didn't want her insisting. "I'm not sure I'll study in college," he confessed, waiting for her outburst.

"You have to!" Kotoko said, facing him. "Even if you don't know what, you cannot let your potential go to waste, for you can do a lot for society!"

How did she guess he had no idea what to do in life? He wondered to himself, watching the expressions on her face with the words she said.

"Why should I go, if I can learn what I want on my own," he resolved shrugging. He didn't know what to do after school, but the idea of going to college wasn't really convincing.

"But Naoki-kun! You cannot _not_ go, you'll meet new people and hear about successful people with their careers, who enjoy it a lot, and will prepare you to do many things. You need to live those experiences!"

Naoki sighed and looked at the clock. He had a feeling she wouldn't desist to convince him, and she would not end now. The topic was something he should think about; his opinion would not change at once.

"Forty minutes left," he said, hoping thus to end the last conversation he never hoped to have with her. He pointed the pencil to the notes, to begin.

Kotoko snapped her fingers. "I'll help you find out what to do in college!" She cried and he dropped his pencil from his fingers.

Naoki stared at her, experiencing a strange feeling inside, seeing that she had that same look as when she announced that she would enter the list of top fifty. She was completely serious.

He watched her smile, noticing a chill coursing through him by the happiness that it gave her helping him, without asking anything in return for her offer, with the sole intention of doing it for him.

He frowned slightly, how could she be so cheerful even with what she had to live? Did it really make her that happy to help him reach his goal? Why did he suddenly have the feeling that Kotoko was a much better person than him?

He closed those insidious and unnecessary thoughts and picked up the pencil.

"Pay attention," he said again, watching her nod and put all her senses in what followed.

He could not shake the uneasy feeling that enveloped him.

She never looked again at the phone.

 **[...]**

Naoki and his brother observed Kotoko engulf her breakfast with the same expressions of astonishment, and he glanced briefly at the small figure of his girlfriend, wondering silently where the large number of calories she ate went and why she hadn't choked yet by how quickly she was eating.

"Onii-chan! Yuuki! Don't just look, eat. Today a great day awaits us!" His mother said, moving her hands in front of their faces to make them return to their respective breakfasts.

They had reached Saturday and his mother had planned that the six, _as a family_ , were to play tennis at the tennis club where they were members.

That was one of the hellish attempts by his mother to make him spend more time with Kotoko, besides all the hours he was already forced to coincide with her. He'd have wanted to have a rest at the weekend, but no.

If he left her, she would place one of her photos on the wallpaper of his mobile and personal computer, somehow guessing his passwords, even if he had sixteen characters that he changed constantly.

And it was not his presumption, she had expressly said that Saturday they would all go, in order to make Kotoko feel more comfortable, who had never in her life had played tennis. But next week the two of them would be alone.

If he'd had a normal relationship with Kotoko, he would have felt cheerful of his mother's support, but _he didn't even want a stupid girlfriend in first place_.

He massaged his temples, he wasn't comfortable having to go play tennis with Kotoko in tow. It was too much living with her. The only thing missing was his mother tricking them to get her into his room and share a bed, if she could get a way to bring down Shigeo-san in her game. He feared she could think of planning an early wedding between the two.

Thinking of Shigeo-san, he wanted to take his place and be rid of that family activity. (As Shigeo had put in the excuse of work, and said he knew they would care of Kotoko in his absence). Only that for him, his mother was too pushy and repeated her insistence until he had no reason to refuse. She was a major headache.

"What a thrill! Kotoko-chan, you'll see that you'll be a star tennis player," his mother spoke moments later, when they entered his father's car. "If just with the uniform you look splendid," she completed pointing to the white blouse and skirt brand that she had purchased for Kotoko with that occasion in mind.

However, the blouse she acquired was mostly made of lycra fabric, and cotton, and the size wasn't exactly the right one. Even so, she looked...

"She looks like a girl," Yuuki muttered as if he thought the same.

He suppressed a smile as his mother scolded his brother and saw Kotoko blush, looking at her discrete attributes.

Surely she must have known that the Japanese were not noted for large sizes, although his otōto's remark was to the overall appearance of his girlfriend, which was of a girl, with her naive face and her diminutive size; if he had little more than a good head apart from her in height and beside him she seemed like a girl in elementary school.

"Onii-chan, tell Kotoko-chan she looks good!" His mother suggested when her word did not give effect to his brother, who stuck his tongue out at the redhead next to the right door at the rear of the car.

Naoki rolled his eyes. As if she required more than the praise of his mother.

"It's just a uniform," he said unperturbed, watching the way through the window.

His mother moaned loudly in exasperation and Yuuki didn't stifle his laughter.

 **[...]**

His father smiled from his position in the center of the field, where he would be counting the points, and Naoki turned his racket in his hand, looking for the ball in his pocket. He asked with a single look at Yuuki, who was his partner, if he was ready, and he nodded.

His mother, with no one who would take the contrary, had decided _wrongly_ that they should begin from the field, confident that Kotoko would be a natural player. She planned to measure her skills, before practicing how she had to pick up a racket.

To that end, she distributed them in "more equitable" teams. Yuuki, with his short experience and size, would be in his company, and Kotoko would be the partner of his mother, who was a good player; a little out of practice, yes, but that served to compensate for his girlfriend, more of the size to match to his brother.

Actually, he didn't care as long as he could make a productive physical activity.

"Onii-chan, start!" His mother shouted from the other side of the court, pointing her racket at Kotoko, occupying the front position slightly on her side.

He shrugged, concentrating on playing. He bounced the ball on the ground and he rose it into the air before he hit it towards Kotoko.

She shrieked, dropped her racket and ran out of the court, frightened, fleeing in terror of the ball.

" _For all..._ " he mumbled.

She was a fool.

His mother was stunned and dropped her racket in her hands. Yuuki and him looked each other for one second, then began to laugh.

Kotoko was _ridiculous_. That was shameful.

The people in neighboring fields, attracted by her scream, watched and laughed quietly while the 'natural' tennis player lowered her eyes trying to allow the visor to cover her face.

"Kotoko _baka_ ," Yuuki murmured, crossing his arms and looking at him suspiciously.

He frowned, wondering if his brother didn't understand yet that Kotoko was no threat to him. Hadn't he seen in those weeks he was with her more by obligation—and Noriko Irie—than anything else?

"Kotoko-chan! You need to hit the ball with the racket!" His mother shouted and his girlfriend nodded with her shoulders hunched. "Again, onii-chan! Direct it to me for her to see it!"

He made an indication with his hand in agreement and decided to make a throw, his mother as a target. He raised the ball and hit hard, sending it to the left side. He quickly settled into place and saw the sharp blow of his mother direct the ball towards him, who returned it to her side again.

The ball came back to him and he sent it further, to score a point and finish the show.

Yuuki came to collide palms and his father applauded announcing the score.

"All right!" His mother lifted one of her thumbs towards him. "Kotoko-chan! Have you seen?!"

The aforementioned had her hazel eyes glued to him, who narrowed his seeing her engrossed in who knows what thoughts. Again she had to be in some stupid dream, he thought in disgust.

Her habit was tiresome, especially if it was a moment that required her concentration, as when explaining or talking, and she was watching him self-absorbed.

"Kotoko-chan!"

"Yes!" The redhead replied shouting, nodding enthusiastically. "I'm ready!"

Naoki didn't understand how she could express so much emotion into something so silly, but it was no novelty.

"You hit it to Kotoko when mom gives it back, Yuuki," he asked his little brother, aware that the blow would be less than his, even if he tried not to apply much pressure.

Yuuki nodded and smiled.

Naoki returned to the serving position and made his shot; his mother hit the ball and Yuuki gave back, returning it towards Kotoko, who put the racket right in front of her face, her eyes closed.

 _She was an idiot._

The cry of Kotoko and the hit of the ball coincided.

"Kotoko-chan!" His two parents called his girlfriend in chorus and ran towards her, where she was lying on the floor.

He put his hand to his forehead in irritation and walked to where she was helped by his parents.

"That was stupid," he said dryly, stifling boredom, knowing that his exercise of that day was about to be canceled upon seeing the blood coming out of Kotoko's nose.

His mother kept asking her if she was okay, sticking a towel to her face, and his father blew futilely, mumbling the name of his friend again and again.

What soothing and fastidious; she had not broken anything or there would be more blood, it was just a slight bleeding. Kotoko gave only low moans, he didn't think she was a crybaby who endured the pain.

Naoki knelt beside her and made her sit with her head tilted forward, despite his mother's words. He had to hold her with one arm because she could not be balanced, stunned by the blow.

He gently pressed his fingers into the soft part of her nose to stop the bleeding.

"Kotoko, breathe through your mouth," he said, holding her head when she tried to nod. "Do not move."

" _Kotoko baka_ " Yuuki said beside him, mockingly, which earned him a reprimand from his mother.

He, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow at his brother, because he suspected that Yuuki's return had been stronger than he assumed, though Kotoko was to blame too. Who was stupid enough to put the racket in front of their face?

Only Aihara Kotoko.

There was definitely something wrong with her.

After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped, so Kotoko attempted to rise, wobbling slightly before straightening as a soldier.

"Now I'm fine!" She announced with a smile.

He withdrew rolling his eyes to her positive attitude, whilst his mother entertained his girlfriend with attention wiping the blood from her face and praising how brave she was (without quoting how stupid that could be), until she seemed at ease with the result, leaving her to breathe.

"Oh, you have blood on your hands!" His mother said, causing Kotoko to scream as she raised them to look at them.

Then her eyes rolled and he held her before she fell unconscious.

Yuuki laughed. He snorted in annoyance.

Because of Kotoko, officially, his day of exercise was over.

 _Just he begged not to be her instructor._

Of course, because of Noriko Irie, that would be impossible.

* * *

 **AN:** Right now my times are not pretty, so, no fast updates as I'd like.

But I hope this chapter was good for you; eventually, things will change.

 ** _All my love, Karo_**

* * *

Seraphina: Thanks, honey. I loved your words. Kotoko smart? Well, she'll be kinda different it this fic, although her spirit will remain. But she won't be the silly girl of always, she'll show what she's made of. Bisous :)


	7. Living together is sweet

**Chapter 7**

 **Living together is sweet**

* * *

Naoki pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, without deigning to look at the woman who gave him life, who was getting into his affairs as always.

Since his father proposed it, he knew that _having a girlfriend_ was a bad idea.

"No," he replied plainly. He turned back to the book that school counselors could find interesting to show to those people with doubts about their school careers, but that was not serving him well, because the questions were about what he was good at, what he liked, what he was doing or what his personality was like.

"But oniichan," his mother replied in an annoying voice.

"No," he repeated, hoping that this time the firm denial worked for his mother.

Obviously, it was too much to ask for. "Kotoko-chan and onii-chan should go on a date," his mother tried again, with the affair that caused her to pester him in his room. He then realized that, when naming them, she now listed his girlfriend first. Good one.

"Mom," Yuuki intervened unsympathetically.

"I'm not interested," he said, shrugging his shoulders, and not looking up. He knew that it was best not to respond to his mother, who would soon tire of insisting, but he couldn't bring himself to be so rude as to ignore her completely.

He heard Yuuki and his mother talking to each other on the subject, and he that let him gave his full attention to his reading.

Of the questions in the book, it was easy to respond to what he was good at and his personality, but what he liked and what he saw himself doing were complicated to respond entirely, although he did much introspection.

Did that really apply to anyone else?

If they wanted to have an idea of their professional future, it didn't give them much help, in his opinion. To him, who was good at what he had to do, it did not help him to tell him he had possibilities of professions from different areas.

Well, he admitted that his score was low in the understanding of human emotions and feelings, so artistic expression and human interpretation could be neglected in his future work.

In any case, he didn't see anyone with his intellect to be profitable in such activities. It would be a waste of potential. Other people could do that perfectly.

"But oniichan!" His mother returned to the attack, Yuuki whined.

He looked up from the book and found that his mother covered Yuuki's mouth and struggled with him on his bed, without losing the thread of his _conversation_ with him.

What a puerile attitude.

"You have to spend time together!" his mother uttered whilst hugging his brother, whose small figure did not win the huge—and mysterious—force of their mother.

He felt his eyelid tremble.

"We share school, home, and food, and I spend much of my free time with her," he snapped, annoyed at her insistence, "can't I have a break?"

She hoped that his day would revolve around Kotoko, it was enough to have her fit into his life, and she waited for him to _breathe the same air of a room_ with his girlfriend, more than necessary. His mother was able to go beyond the limits of all patience.

" _Onii-chaaaan_ ," his mother said lengthening his name, so irritatingly, "Kotoko-chan wants to spend time with her boyfriend."

Of that, he was sure, but he wouldn't give her the pleasure of agreeing. Well, he wanted to have her eating right from his hand, but long time he spent with her was enough. His peace of mind depended on not having to see her all the time.

Why didn't his mother think of that?

Already, for the past two Saturdays, when he went to play tennis, she had convinced Kotoko to go with him and to be instructed in the sport by a great player.

 _It was too much._

He retracted his thoughts. At what point could it have occurred to him that the good friendship between the two families would benefit him? Probably in a moment of lack of cerebral oxygenation or momentary madness, because what he was living was a nightmare.

It was okay to think that Kotoko's presence would irritate him, but it went much further. She was more than present, a _constant_. Annoying and insistent. Just like that. Although she proved to have favorable points, it was like a limpet from which he could not be detached.

With his mother's bad influence, her tiresome ability _to be there_ and disturb him continued, because even when she wasn't there physically, his mother mentioned her in a conversation and made him think of her.

"Kotoko-chan wants to be with her boyfriend," his mother repeated, forcing her hold on Yuuki, who was held back like a wild animal.

"Did she tell you?" he questioned curtly. He thought the best thing was to face his mother once, then she could leave and harass someone else, preferably the young woman in their conversation, without the need to give her any more stupid ideas.

"Well, no," his mother admitted, pursing her lips. He smiled with superiority, "but all girl wants a romantic date..." she insisted; but receiving a negative head movement.

"No, if she hasn't said it, it's not necessary," he said feigning false interest. "So you can go now, okaa-san. "

Yuuki jumped when he was released and ran out when his mother wanted to pick him up again.

"And do not give her any ideas," he added in a middle-of-the-road threat when he saw her putting a finger to her head. Her wit was much greater than the one of Kotoko, who couldn't think of anything very elaborate.

"You're mean, onii-chan!" his mother exclaimed, retiring with a straight pose, but slamming the door at the end.

Naoki laughed softly, even though he knew it was _a small victory_.

He was impressed by how much his mother could do.

 **[...]**

Arriving near the end of his guidance book, the next afternoon, Naoki heard the sound of the door hinges, which needed to be oiled, so he glanced at who could interrupt so much silence. He was surprised to see Kotoko, in her heart-patterned pajamas, ready to sleep, despite the hour.

If he thought about it, in ten minutes or so he would go to her room for her day's tutoring, so he couldn't explain the reason for her presence or the fact that she wore nightwear at such an early hour. Or not to call the door.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, reading the last page without much interest, the pages full of encouraging comments for young people close to the initial stage of their preparation in professional life, emphasizing the importance of their decision, almost as if they put pressure on whoever that read it.

"I wanted to talk and spend time with you," Kotoko said after a few seconds, in a low voice.

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled, his mother had given the sweet talk to his girlfriend. "Kotoko, _don't bother_. Every night I have an hour and a half with you," he muttered, rolling his eyes, discontented at how low his mother played, and how unreadable the book was.

She chuckled.

"Yeah, well," Kotoko cleared her throat, "the thing is that you are a very _demanding_ teacher and you just talk about homework."

Naoki looked away from the letters and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"That was the purpose..." He said drily, settling better into the swivel chair, stretching his legs. "Or did you have other plans?" he inquired, smiling innocently whilst mocking her inside his mind, certain she was too naive to think otherwise.

However, if his mother had suggested it, she did have other ideas.

Kotoko turned all red and he was delighted with it, finding that it was more interesting, and _entertaining_ , than his current activity. She was so transparent.

Noticing that she was looking at his face, he tried to make her aware that he was staring at her from head to foot, looking up from the trousers to the knees and the short-sleeved blouse, not at all provocative.

He was sure that the condom incident had already passed, like him, now that the "effervescent" effect was over. She should not even remember it, like other things.

"No-o... no," Kotoko stammered, increasing the color of her cheeks, covering her breasts by folding her arms, though it only served to press the fabric of her clothes to her figure and highlight what she wanted to hide.

He, not knowing why, could not help but stop his gaze at that place.

He diverted it so quickly by noticing what he was doing, annoyed with himself. "Would you rather I'd stop being a tutor and spend time with you?" he asked, not leaving the subject, seeing the opportunity to get rid of his task, in which he was involved for a moment of weakness and now could modify.

He bent his knees and crossed his arms magnanimously.

 _Spending time with her_ was not necessary as a daily task.

"No!" Kotoko jumped, cutting the distance to him, kneeling between his legs, as if it was nothing. "I want to learn."

Very good, _that was uncomfortable_ , as she didn't seem to realize how instigating she could be in that position, accompanied by her words.

He frowned, because _it was not normal of him_ to think in that way.

"Then," he cleared his throat, "do you want me to spend any spare time I have with you?" he asked clenching his teeth to push his thoughts away from his head, returning to the subject with her. "Like I said, I have occupations," he grunted sulkily, pushing her away from him to get to his feet because it must have been time to go to her room and _teach her_.

Naoki did not understand why his head betrayed him at that moment.

He angrily threw his book to the bed, after which he turned to go to the door.

"No." He stopped and looked over his shoulder at Kotoko, who stood up near the bed. He saw her pout with her lips. "When you say it like that it seems like abuse. "

 _Poor choice of words._

"You don't do it?" he said uneasily, tired of it.

Kotoko bit her lower lip. "Well, I dunno," she expressed and shrugged.

"And you still want my hours off to deal with you?" he questioned reluctantly. Either way, she had put a lot of emphasis on wanting to learn, so he couldn't get away from it.

Besides, he had to remember he didn't draw back when engaged in something.

Kotoko let out a whimper and shook her head effusively.

Finished business, he thought, turning to the door.

"But..." He rolled his eyes and snorted when he realized that she would not leave the subject there. "As your girlfriend, I'd like to talk to you, even have a date, _I've never had a date_." Her tone was more curious than encouraging.

However, Naoki cursed inwardly.

"Have you talked to my mother?" he muttered under his breath, turning his face towards his foolish girlfriend.

"Oba-sama?" Kotoko frowned. "No, should I talk to her? " She tilted her head in a childlike way, like a little girl begging for something.

He sighed. He didn't know why he bothered to ask, it had already become clear that Kotoko would be completely happy at his side, without his mother's telling her to. He also thought she was a romantic. Only, day after day, his beloved mother fed her in the moments she could, increasing that heavy quality in Kotoko.

"Don't do it," he responded when seeing that she looked at him.

He closed his eyes and massaged his temples. He still had an hour and a half tutoring for Kotoko.

 _And a disturbing life with her and his mother together._

Why wasn't he someone who took back his words? Did they not say that it was wise to do so? Until that moment, he did not see any triumph on his part and already he was overwhelmed and exhausted to deal with both at all times. If it were just Kotoko, well, it would be nice, he could handle her as he first thought.

But with his mother intruding, it was something more difficult, because she had wit and, together with the respect he owed her, made it difficult to get rid of her as he would have done before.

As usual, he hadn't been wrong to believe that his mother would love her.

She _kissed_ the ground Kotoko had stepped on.

Maybe the two together was too much for him.

The main detail, however, was that he had already given his word to Shigeo-san and was committed, it would be a grave fault to his own honor to repent. Fastidious to select another. And also, it would be more bothersome to have his mother insisting to return with the _daughter_ which she already adored.

 _That vision was much worse._

No, he simply had to stand in his ground, firm in his purpose and plan, and control Kotoko in this annoying relationship, which worked to fulfill his father's request, focus on what he would do and have a woman whom he could handle to be as the person at his side _should be_. He only had to take more importance on what his mother was referring to.

His girlfriend, despite her iron determination, which was what he admired, was still a puppet... something that his mother had also seen, so he had to be careful of her, not the redhead. Keeping Kotoko content was simple. Once with that happy date, he would keep her at ease for a long time and he would calmly return to his affairs. From there, he would say phrases here and there, directed at the person she had to be, at his pleasure.

Problem solved.

He opened his eyes and found Kotoko watching him closely.

"Eh, I'm leaving," she whispered, walking to the door. "Today I'll sleep early," she laughed nervously and pointed to her nightclothes, "I'm tired and I did my homework. Goodnight."

He frowned, watching her escape from the room, surprised and intrigued in equal parts. Seconds later, since she was not too important a matter, he shrugged and walked to the closet to get his clothes off and to advance to his bath.

Despite that, why was he left with the feeling that the affair would not end there?

Though his shoulders felt the relief of a free night.

 **[...]**

More than anything, Naoki hated losing control.

Of course, he had accepted that he would have a date with Kotoko and it wasn't a complete loss of control, but that didn't include that in his plans of that weekend the event had to happen, much less that his mother orchestrated it (though it spared him the inconvenience).

So that was a worthy reason to be angry and frowning on Sunday, walking next to a glowing Kotoko, who seemed to be amid flowers, while he felt himself in a minefield.

"Can't you see where you're going?" he bellowed to her before she bumped herself against a lamppost. He gripped her arm firmly to guide her, seeing that she didn't seem attentive on the road and didn't even notice her possible accident.

It was ridiculous what a simple rose could do, which she held between her two hands, holding it close to her nose to smell it.

It was going to die anyway, having been cut off. There was not so much importance in a flower set apart from the earth.

For some people, it could be a romantic gesture, but he thought there wasn't much charm in a flower that would wither due to lack of watering, even if the water was constantly changed. What good was a gesture involving death?

At least, he recognized within himself, it made Kotoko happy, and that was good to keep her in his favor.

His mother, with her meddling, had given him a favorable point, when she gave him a bright red rose, seconds before Kotoko went down the stairs, making it seem like he took the trouble to get it for her.

As if he had done it right away, _with the idea of handing it to her at home_.

Only his mother had seen him, but it was enough to disturb him. As it did Kotoko strolling with him until the cinema, drawing stares and having him keep watch of her, as she didn't take into account her surroundings. He had to babysit his girlfriend when, for the first time, she didn't look like an infant.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the sky-blue dress with strips of Kotoko, which reached to her knees and had a neckline in the shape of an inverted triangle, that did not make her look bad. His mother had been right with her choice of clothes (as she presumed), as it gave her an appearance of being a little older and pointed out some of her attributes.

Yuuki had commented well on that fact when his mother insisted that he had to say something nice (like him, but for his own part she did not get anything).

Ponytail and lip gloss were also a good choice. That way, as a consolation, he did not feel like a man walking the streets with his _Lolita_ , who paradoxically was older than himself, which she punctuated when she asked for his birthday.

He took her by the arm to the cinema and heard behind him a shout from the only person he needed to irritate him more that day.

Naoki looked over his shoulder, Ikezawa had just jumped behind a wall, covering his mouth.

What was he doing there? No, how was he there? It was what caught his attention, Ikezawa was so obsessed with his girlfriend going so far as finding out about private details and following her.

That was annoying.

And just then he had exclaimed in the distance _to stop mistreating Kotoko_.

As if he were doing that. He just was guiding her because, in the idiocy of her reverie, she would end up in the middle of an accident, and his mother, his father, and father-in-law, would kill him for it. Or, on second thought, only his mother would do it, because Shigeo-san had to know his daughter perfectly, and his father was less likely to believe her perfect and delicate.

Either way, that idiot didn't have to follow them, less question him. More because it bothered him so much that people interfered with his life.

Apparently, Ikezawa had no limit.

Naoki grinned sideways; it would be appropriate, _even funny_ , to show that Kotoko's boyfriend was him.

Suddenly, that date didn't seem so annoying.

 _Make clear his position_.

Kotoko chose that moment to get out of her reverie and point to the movie poster of the romantic movie for which his mother had bought tickets. The typical plot of girl meets boy, extraordinary circumstances occur and, in the end, the boy ends with her and… _They live happily ever after_. The creators of films of that sort did not shine by their creativity.

"Naoki-kun, you look like the protagonist!" Kotoko exclaimed, after saving her precious rose in the purse that she carried under her arm, letting it protrude from the inside.

He frowned, not finding anything of him like the guy staring at the idiot-looking girl in the picture.

"Don't say nonsense."

He directed her to the candy stall and let her choose what she wanted, as he glanced around the corner at Ikezawa, who hid behind a cardboard advertisement that didn't hide anything. Even in the distance, he could see the crimson of fury on his face.

It was clear to see that she preferred him, even at a glance, he thought.

He turned to the attendant to hear the amount to pay and, without much interest in what Kotoko acquired, gave him the money, before carrying a drink and the container of popcorn himself, letting Kotoko walk with the impossibility of her spilling something, with her habitual clumsiness.

He noticed that she only ordered one tall drink, but he let it pass, their lips had been touched before and he had noticed that her hygiene matched his own. From another person, he would have taken it with dislike and made it clear by buying another glass.

"Oba-sama said the film is very romantic," Kotoko said, as they headed into the theatre, after seeing it on the tickets. "It's exciting to see a movie of love on our first date," she continued in a singsong voice.

Naoki remained silent. At least, with Kotoko, it was easy to keep silent, as she often got involved in monologues with no interesting or clever content. If idiocy was contagious, he would have feared for his sanity.

"Be silent," he spoke as she pushed the door to the theatre so they could enter the dark room. " _And do not commit the stupidity of falling_ ," he added, because she was prone to accidents. The dim lighting of the theatre was an incentive for her to stumble.

"Yes," Kotoko replied in a murmur and he watched her slide her foot carefully onto the rug to tempt the entry step while holding onto the wall.

He rolled his eyes at such an action, walking behind her calmly, since the lighting was enough to see, but he let Kotoko do something so ridiculous.

In moments like that, he wondered if it would be possible to make her change, and _if he should bother_.

"There are two seats," Kotoko whispered, pointing to two places in the corner of a row, which were fine for him, because sometimes his legs didn't fit into the confined spaces between the rows of seats.

He saw her sit down and he then imitated her when she was properly placed, handing her the popcorn, leaving the drink in the space between the two.

Soon he heard a "Where? Where?" coming from behind them. _Ikezawa made his entrance_.

Surreptitiously, he watched him sit in the seat behind them, which was somehow predictable.

Naoki didn't understand why, but it was entertaining to see what the other was willing to do for the slow girl, whom he had for a girlfriend and who didn't realize what was happening.

Maybe it was that the idiots provided a good source of fun, otherwise the series that had them as protagonists would not be so successful. Except for that American series of scientists, but even they had the blonde neighbor who did not understand much as a strategy.

The lights faded and the screen changed, indicating that the movie was about to begin, reminding him of the situation. He had a good hour and a half watching a stupid argument.

In that time, he saw the scenes without much interest, not bothering to make sense of what they transmitted on the screen. The girl liked the man, who ignored her until her image changed, and when he paid attention, she refused because she didn't think he was genuinely interested in her, although it was clear that, since before, he was attracted.

 _How could people pay for such nonsense?_

Kotoko began to lean toward him and heard a slight groan behind him, so he sneaked a glance and noticed that the idiot held out his hand to place it between the two.

He smiled sideways and raised his arm to attach his body to his girlfriend, rejoicing in the gasp from the back seat, while Kotoko let out a small cry, muted by the sound of the film.

Ikezawa was asking for it, no one forced him to spy on them.

The rest of the film remained as calm as ever, though he repeatedly laughed at the times when he heard a whimper behind him.

 **[...]**

Naoki nodded graciously to the waiter who had just finished their bill and listened to Kotoko, silent with a finger on her lips, which she rhythmically pounded.

He thought she would be chattering about anything, after having finished her praises to the _wonderful_ film they had just seen.

"Don't you have the feeling of being watched?" Shocked inwardly by Kotoko's awareness, he raised an eyebrow at her, who seconds later shrugged.

If she had even noticed Ikezawa, who was at five tables from theirs, it was too much. _Although it had taken her longer_.

At least, it wasn't his mother taking pictures.

It was okay to threaten her to refuse the date if she showed up. So he had got rid of her and, in fact, she didn't appear at all in her stupid disguises.

Anyway, by custom, he looked for her around the restaurant with orange walls and tables of white tablecloths, before standing up and giving Kotoko an indication to do the same.

"Can we take a walk in the park before we go home?" She asked, looking into his eyes, and he gave a sigh.

He nodded. A little more time without his mother was to consider. Also, to his own amazement, the only bad thing so far was the presence of the idiot. Kotoko had done nothing but talk about her silly little things, and looked at him with hazel eyes for a long time, which was customary.

As he had thought before, without his mother, _she was manageable_. She was a romantic fool, but she knew how to keep quiet when he told her, and only by asking direct questions did he have to give her an answer. Or, sometimes, he just had to disconnect or listen to it halfway, she didn't say many productive things. And to keep her content was simple.

Yes, her company was not too unpleasant, even when they had to study. It was just that _long time_ , it was tiresome, more when he wasn't who selected the time and moment.

Following his plan, to continue with her, it did not seem so bad.

The only annoying thing was having to think about taking care of a wife like her, as it would be her husband's duty, because someone as clumsy as her was problematic.

 _Obviously_ , he was not wrong in his deed, he knew a class-F idiot girl would fit well in his purpose. And, he thought, she would mature over time.

In the street, they walked to the corner junction; Kotoko was strangely silent, again.

"Naoki-kun?" she called in a whisper that he barely heard amidst the sound of cars and passers-by.

"What do you want?" he asked, looking at her red face, without stopping.

"Can I hold myself to your arm?" Kotoko asked fiddling with the rose, that he didn't know when she had pulled back from her purse.

He was willing to say she shouldn't bother, but he looked over his shoulder, the idiot on his periphery. What better than to see her with him on the street, in an intimate way, to convince himself once and for all. It was what he deserved for following them.

He didn't answer, and pulled his right arm away slightly, so that she would introduce hers, which she did quickly, giving a little squeal of emotion.

Naoki snorted low.

He heard the exclamation of Ikezawa and others from behind, and his curiosity overcame him.

The idiot had collided with a man, apparently, spilling his drink on the man's top.

 _Stupid._

Kotoko was still in her own world and he continued on their way to the crossing, knowing himself free of the idiot (already thinking of freeing himself from her arm), until a series of shouts made him turn, separating himself from the redhead. He clung her to his side as he watched Ikezawa run in his direction, fleeing from two stout men.

"Hey!" Kotoko said in an indignant voice, as Ikezawa passed by her, briefly bumping into her, dropping her rose to the sidewalk.

He held her back when she showed an intention of bending over to pick it up, as the two men were about to pass at that moment.

"Hey!" Kotoko grumbled, raising her hands in fists, looking to where they were going.

Seconds later, she lowered her head to the ground, where he saw that the rose was crushed, with the stalk split and some petals fallen from it.

Kotoko let out a groan, and suddenly her shoulders began to move up and down as if she were laughing.

"You should have left it at home," he said with condescension. The rose was going to die sooner or later, only she advanced its destiny by not leaving it in a vase.

His girlfriend began to move her shoulders more quickly and let out a whimper, which caught his attention, and he suspected that it was something else that was happening. She lifted her face and he saw, uncomfortably, how a few tears escaped her eyes.

 _Damn_ , that wouldn't help to keep her happy, in order to leave him in peace.

The image of his mother appeared in his head, stunning him to exhaustion. Nor did it suit him that she was of this way.

He opened his mouth. "If you want one so much, I'll buy another," he mumbled so that she would stop crying and be smiling and happy again.

Kotoko stopped whimpering and focused her glassy orbs on him. Then she smiled. "No matter, you're with me which makes me happy," she mumbled, wiping away her tears.

"Then why are you crying?" he questioned. If the loss of the rose didn't do anything to her, nor did she want to replace it, what was the point of her crying?

She shrugged her shoulders. "Because it makes me sad to see what happened to the rose," she explained with a bright look.

Was she like that for a flower? He did not understand. It was not the same sense, but the Little Prince came to mind.

 _Less logic, more feeling._

Anyway; he was not going to put himself on her level. He knew she was sensitive. "Let's go, there's no need to delay," he said, to drop the subject and leave.

Kotoko crouched and picked up the rose on the pavement, along with its fallen petals, which she kept in her purse.

"What are you doing?" He questioned, dumbfounded. "It does not serve a purpose anymore." And she had said that it did not matter.

"I cannot leave the rose Naoki-kun gave me on the street. I'll treasure it with my things," Kotoko smiled at him from the floor, before standing up with great effusiveness and restraining him again.

 _Women_ , he thought rolling his eyes, urging her to continue.

Deep down, he recognized her loyalty and the importance she gave to small things.


	8. The road to hell

**Chapter 8**

 **The road to hell is paved with good intentions**

* * *

Naoki stared intently at Kotoko's lips as she spoke, following the movement she made with her tongue, each time it left her mouth.

"Good pronunciation," he approved with a nod, to which she jumped in celebration. It was the first time he did not give her a correction with a sentence and even he could understand her enthusiasm. For him, it was a _relief_.

As he predicted before, Kotoko, with the proper supervision and attention, proved that she wasn't the _terrible_ student she initially seemed, which was made clear to him when she entered the fifty best students, in addition to all the weeks that, altogether, he had been teaching her.

From his perception, she was on a Class D level, with luck maybe Class C, and certainly not the group she was currently in. When he explained to her, she understood when he was clear in his words and with small concepts he did not need great depth, because she improved a little with what he was imparting to her.

And, on occasions like that, she received recognition on his part for her work, which made her celebrate in a way that he admitted was funny, through the form that was a child victory dance.

In that short time, he had found himself noticing why there were those who were interested in professing as educators, since seeing the result of said educating caused moments of satisfaction and a sense of power, for being the one to cause that.

However, it did not mean that he was interested in being a teacher. From just imagining having to deal with crowds of Kotokos, and those _worse than her_ , he was exhausted. He didn't have that level of patience, nor interest in the progress of others. She was an exception—by obligation.

Additionally, at those moments he took advantage of giving comments that hinted at what she should not do, of things that bothered him.

"Do not act like a girl." She paused for a moment, smiled and continued as she had been doing.

Of that, to his bad luck, _he did not see much progress_.

He began to understand Shigeo-san, surely surrendered somewhere in the process. Maybe she would mature at her own pace or it was a lost cause and he had to settle for what she was like currently. However his parents already adored her like that and she did not interrupt him outside of the hours he put aside for her, so maybe he should not even bother to give her _recommendations_ that she would not follow.

 _That was more exhausting and frustrating than everything else_.

Or later, he could put another method into practice.

"Naoki-kun?" Kotoko sat down again and leaned toward him, who raised an eyebrow for her to speak.

That was something she was beginning to do well, to notice part of his non-verbal language.

Though on second thought, handling her was a losing battle because it was going at a slow pace, but she was fitting well enough into his life, even though she irritated him most of the time.

"Will you cheer for me when I participate tomorrow?" she asked, wrinkling her lips comically.

He rolled his eyes. "Your group is the one that should do that," he objected. "The festival does not interest me."

The sporting event organized by the school seemed like a waste of study time, as it didn't even promote the exercise, and instead the competition. It was also an excuse for the inept lower classes, to feel as if they were important, and to stand out in those contests, as they could not nor did they try to do with their grades.

The effort and interest for the competition within the classes increased as the letters of the alphabet advanced. His group participated without encouragement, just for being a school requirement, and in the following classes you could see the enthusiasm, as they were most competitive.

It was not a surprise, that every year the winners were in those groups.

For him, getting recognition in that was insignificant.

"But…"

"Better concentrate on not stumbling, clumsy." He cut her off by standing up, after seeing the clock. "Goodnight." He left her, open-mouthed, her face flushed.

 **[...]**

Having his mother in front of him shooting the camera, Naoki wrinkled his nose as a result of her enthusiasm, which prevented him from leaving the house, because she was standing in front of the exit—dragging his father into it—until she took all the photos she wanted.

"I'm so happy! Your first public event together, and I'll have it recorded!" Celebrated his mother taking photo after photo, continuing to be an obstacle. "Kotoko-chan and onii-chan at their sports festival, I will record them in their mixed relay race."

She continued to take photos and Naoki felt his eyelid tremble with so much effusiveness.

He did not bother trying to understand his mother's enthusiasm, _to her everything excited her_. He did not even want to be like her, expressing ridiculously feelings. Sometimes he wondered if, observing how she acted, whether she was the reason why he refused to be more considerate of emotions, outside of his logic.

"That's enough," he mumbled, a vein throbbing in his temple.

His father stepped aside quickly, and he was able to put on his shoes and get rid of that ridiculous show, which had no use because both Kotoko and he were wearing their school uniforms, not sports clothes.

He left and went quietly down the steps, while his mother continued to take photos of Kotoko, who left the house when he was at the bottom of the stairs that connected to the street.

He heard an exclamation from her, coupled with a blow, and looked over his shoulder, at the spot where she had landed. It did not surprise him, they had been living together for a few weeks, and at least four times she had repeated that same clumsiness.

He saw her rub her arm with her nose puckered, holding her red bag with her free hand.

"And you want me to support you?" he asked with irony and kept walking to school.

Moments later, her hurried steps reached him.

"In addition to the mixed relay race, will you also participate in the 100 meters this year?" she asked when he got to his side.

"Yes."

"Oh, what a shame!" she said loudly. He frowned, his eyes on the road. "Kin-chan will also be in that race and he always wins."

Naoki tilted his face towards her, not liking how that phrase sounded.

"But it doesn't matter if you lose, I will support Naoki-kun." She continued smiling.

"Don't do it if you'll make a fuss," he snapped and hurried on, seeing on the clock that his mother and this ridicule had delayed them. He hoped that Kotoko was not so hollow-headed as to imitate them.

 **[...]**

He had thought too soon, Naoki mused, because it was not Kotoko who gave him an unpleasant surprise, but his family, with a banner of excessive size, supporting him and her.

Reading the white fabric with pink letters cheering Kotoko-chan and onii-chan caused him nausea and increased his irritation for that day. Silly sports festival and stupid exhibition of his mother, who had dragged his father, his brother and his father-in-law there, the last burdened to carry a video camera.

The tricks of his okaa-san never ended.

Her poster excelled those of the classes, he dared to say that it was more striking than even the F-Class, whose encouragement for that nonsense was enormous.

He sighed and nodded at Yuuki, who greeted him from afar while he warmed up, so as not to suffer a muscle cramp when participating in the hundred meters.

"I will show you with my speed that I can be better than you." Naoki looked at the sky, in annoyance, when he heard the annoying voice of Class F's loudest guy.

Mainly because he was not interested in winning that stupid race or not.

"Do not ignore me!" The idiot complained. "When I win, Kotoko will prefer me, and then we'll see if you'll be still together."

What kind of idiocies did that guy think? He really hated stupid people.

Besides, as if Kotoko gave importance to that idiot, less to the point of putting Ikezawa before him.

"Do you think that competitive skills in recreation can define a person's predilection?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow, adjusting the red ribbon around his head, the color of his group.

The idiot looked at him with an expression of not understanding. It didn't surprise him.

"I'm not a horse to choose," he said, sober. "And I don't need to win for Kotoko to prefer me," he added scathingly, to feed Ikezawa's fiery appearance.

"That's what the losers say! Kotoko will prefer me to see that I beat you," the bigmouth replied.

"You think she'll leave me because you win, go ahead," he invited, shrugging condescendingly, _as if the other could achieve that_. He had Kotoko eating out of his hand.

"She will! She will realize that you do not deserve her, she shouldn't be your girlfriend."

"Who are you to prevent it?" He straightened up when he heard that he was named for his participation and asked them to take the initial line.

For a second, he wondered why he bothered to respond to the words of the idiot Ikezawa. He found that it was a funny image to make him rage and show that he was better. Just as making him pay for meddling in his affairs.

"I'll beat you, Irie, and I'll reclaim Kotoko!" The other guys on the line looked at them.

"Are you sure that's what she wants?" He articulated slyly, making doubt appear on the face of the other, who shook his head quickly, amid the laughter of the others.

"You just want to confuse me and distract me and it won't work, I'll prove that I'm better than you are for her."

He snorted, of course, the two of them could be better together, but Kotoko was convenient for his purposes.

"And if I win, will you leave us alone?" he replied, with feigned innocence. If that was the way to get rid of him, it much better; It would be an incentive to really run and not jog, as he did every time he participated. The idiot was so confident and could not know that his physical condition was good, only that he did not see that the competition deserved the effort.

Ikezawa opened his mouth, babbling unintelligible things, like the stupid one he was. "I… no-o… that… I'll beat you!"

The spectators shook with laughter and took a position when the professor caught his attention.

Naoki cursed to himself, he had not got his word, which he thought would be the only thing that would make him turn away. However, it made him want to shut Ikezawa's mouth, as he prepared to begin.

The shot rang out and he ran free on the running track, listening to the cries of the crowd in his ears and feeling his heart beating fast in his chest, until he reached the finish line, touching the white ribbon with his stomach, before Ikezawa, in his periphery, whose tongue came out of his mouth like a panting dog.

He raised an eyebrow in the direction of the idiot, who was stupefied by the triumph, and heard the cries of his mother encouraging him, over his _now animated group_ , as he walked calmly to where his towel and water were, to wipe the sweat from his neck and forehead.

It was the first time he felt real excitement when running.

"Naoki-kun! You won!" Kotoko appeared in front of him when he removed the towel from his eyes.

He nodded.

"I'm very happy! It was so exciting!" Her voice sounded very impressed with emotion. "Everyone in the audience was amazed that you were running so fast without much effort, Kin-chan looked like he would lose his lungs, he must have felt very bad, but… It was awesome!"

He raised the corner of his mouth in a smirk.

"Naoki-kun is excellent!" Kotoko continued, in her exaggerated show of support, which supported the knowledge that he had her in his pocket.

"Congratulations, Irie-san," Koujiro's voice said calmly, silencing Kotoko.

His girlfriend and he did not have a chance to see her because she was walking away.

"Who is she?" Kotoko asked, tilting her head, in a different voice. The two braids protruding from her head waved comically.

He shrugged, disinterested, and went to the toilets to cool off.

 **[...]**

When they were about to start the 12th competition, Naoki went to the place where his family was eating sandwiches and when he accepted a can of Yuuki's soda, he congratulated him for his triumph in his contest.

"Onii-chan, you were hardly in time to support Kotoko-chan," his mother said, giving him a seat and offering him one of the sandwiches.

He heard that the spokeswoman presented the girls' race and his mother enthusiastically pointed to Kotoko, approaching the starting line. His father left the sandwiches and Shigeo-san quickly pointed the video camera towards her.

Yuuki took the opportunity to take an orange slice and he took another piece of apple.

"It's going to start!" his mother shouted. "Onii-chan, you have to support her."

Naoki rolled his eyes.

They gave the starting shot and he shuddered with the screams of his mother, while watching Kotoko run to the table where the papers with the criteria needed to win were.

Suddenly, she turned to where they were and approached quickly.

"Naoki-kun!" she screamed.

"What do you want?" he asked, hating that Shigeo-san focused the camera on him.

She grabbed his wrist. "Come!"

He huffed and, reluctantly, because his mother looked at him in a way that could mean trouble, he accepted.

He walked at a rapid pace while she, slower, pulled him. He saw that it won him glances of all kinds in the audience and he noticed that the other participants carried objects, while Kotoko asked him to participate. Then he saw another girl approaching with a baby on her back.

He wondered what exactly Kotoko's request had been.

As they were going to the speed of Kotoko, and because a girl took a box that seemed lighter, his girlfriend obtained the second place and received a medal with the number.

However, she did not seem to mind, because her expression resembled that she had won the first prize.

"What did they ask you to get?" he inquired, snapping his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

"The person you love," she answered in a whisper and he rolled his eyes.

How ridiculous and what slight for her father. Even his mother would have felt in the clouds if she had been chosen.

Although it was the proof he needed to realize that he had earned her.

"Good," he said in response, turning around. "I'm hungry."

"Kotoko!" his mother called when they approached and hugged her. "It was the perfect moment! It's recorded! Oh, I thought you'd get the first place."

"Okay, oba-sama, the second one is also a good place and it's only a game," his smiling girlfriend enunciated.

"You're so good! And what did the paper say? Take your boyfriend?"

"The person you love," Kotoko whispered, her face the color of a cherry.

"Oh, onii-chan! That's wonderful! You're a perfect match!"

He shrugged and sat down to eat and have more time to rest his food until his next participation. He wanted to avoid the heaviness of his stomach, even when it was the last competition and he had just finished the first half of them.

 **[...]**

"Class F is up front," the announcer told the spectators and Naoki saw how a girl of whom he saw with Kotoko many times, ran to give the green baton to a dark-haired boy who had a hairstyle very similar to the loud guy at his side.

"We are going to destroy you!" Ikezawa shouted at that moment; he had returned to his old ways after his loss, of which he made no reference.

He did not bother to answer, and continued to see how the mixed relay race progressed; his group was in third place at the moment, fighting the second. He knew that they had no great interest in winning, but somehow, his triumph had driven them to show a little interest and someone had said they depended on him.

It was amazing that in the course of the day their spirits had changed, as if they had been infected.

He did not care who could have influenced them.

At that moment he saw that Kotoko, the third to run from F, received the baton.

"The F is going for its third runner," announced the woman at the microphone. "Classes are running close, class C is behind."

"Now it's impossible for them to win! We're first," Ikezawa spoke, but Naoki continued to ignore him, although his attention did turn to the leading competitor.

He watched Kotoko run and frowned at her feet. The cord of her right foot was untied, making an accident more possible, to which, per se, she was prone.

He snorted when he saw that she was running fast, but she seemed to be addressing him, something that Ikezawa noticed, beginning to call her, waving his arms.

Kotoko stopped with her hand stretched out towards him and heard the laughter around her.

"Silly, pay attention," he pressed his index finger on her forehead, making her blink in confusion. "And tie up your laces."

She dropped the baton between her hands, which fell to the runway and was announced on the loudspeaker.

Ikezawa crouched to pick it up again at the same time as her and then came the runners of his group and the E Class.

He received his baton and ignored them, running towards the finish line, listening to Ikezawa's exclamations from behind, which amused him, as he overtook the group E runner, without much effort.

The narrator said that Class F was trying to catch up with him and the groups cheered loudly, and then he began to hear that he referred to him as the best of all, _matchless._ He kept running without losing pace, visualizing the finish line.

He accelerated when he heard a shout from Ikezawa behind and approached the white ribbon with speed. He was about to touch it and, suddenly, Kotoko fell onto her knees to the ground, in his way.

He passed the bar, but physics did not allow him to stop in time, causing him to run into his girlfriend, automatically wrapping his arms around her, although he heard her panting over all the people in the yard when they finished on the ground, her below.

His stomach resented the blow and he felt a sting in his right palm, only that he ignored the two pains, separating from Kotoko to give her space.

Surely she had made her laces. "Silly, I told you to avoid your clumsiness," he whispered softly, scolding her. Now she did not mind that he used the word, and it was good, because he could not erase it from his vocabulary.

The announcer named him the winner, while still communicating the incident.

"Kotoko?" he whispered with a strange sensation and sighed when he heard her moan. He turned her around and saw her expression of pain, her eyes closed. "You'll always need me to take care of you," he muttered to himself, irritated.

"Class F gets second place," he heard, as he carefully maneuvered to accommodate Kotoko on his back.

"Naoki-kun?" she said softly, where his ear was.

"Hold on," he instructed and felt her wrap her arms around his neck tightly as he caught her legs to wrap around his body. "But do not suffocate me," he claimed, and she applied less pressure.

"Irie, how dare you fall on Kotoko!" There was the idiot, he thought, standing up with Kotoko already in a proper position. "You're an abuser!"

"Whatever you say," he replied, taking direction to the infirmary.

"Hey! You admit it!" exclaimed Ikezawa. "What are you doing with Kotoko?! Where are you taking her?"

"To the infirmary, where else?" he said, rolling his eyes.

With annoyance, he saw Shigeo-san being pushed by his mother, with the intention of recording everything. Meanwhile, several were whistling and the stupid idiot kept shouting from behind.

"I'm sorry," Kotoko whispered and she sounded weak. "It was not my intention, they pushed me in. Sorry to get you in trouble."

"I'm used to it," he mumbled.

 **[...]**

In the infirmary, after fixing Kotoko's scrapes and placing a compress on her wound, the responsible caregiver applied antiseptic in the palm of his hand, which his girlfriend saw with an expression between worried and repentant.

"I'm s…"

"Shut up," he cut her off because it was the umpteenth time she apologized. "It's annoying."

"Yes, but…" she replied.

"I understand, don't bother with that," he muttered in exasperation, focusing his eyes on her with threat. Because of her usual attitude, bad things had already happened, so he could respond to her as he wanted.

"I don't wanna get you mad, Naoki-kun." Kotoko pleaded with him and he looked away. The nurse laughed, giving him a pat on the back of his hand, before smiling at his girlfriend.

"He was scared by what happened to you, young lady, that's why he acts like that," the nurse commented and he looked at her, eyes wide. Where did that come from? He simply told the truth, it disgusted him to hear that she apologized so many times, what happened had nothing to do with it.

Kotoko was clumsy, he would waste his time worrying about her.

However, the nurse's words served as an incentive for her to be quiet, and he thanked her for it, while she gave them an indication to retire with the corresponding instructions, before going to see a boy who was coughing continuously.

"Naoki-kun?" She stayed behind and grabbed him by the sleeve of his white sports shirt.

At the end of the corridor, before turning around, he saw Ikezawa.

"What?" he mumbled, hoping he would not hear another apology or have to deal with the idiot's screams.

"Thank you," she said with a smile, one of those that he was beginning to get used to.

"Yes, as you say," he said and made a move to turn, but she stopped him, making him bend, to _kiss his cheek with her face flushed_.

 _Really?_

Kotoko's innocence reached another level, he thought with a sly smile. It even seemed a crime to corrupt her, although he felt like it after that demure gesture.

"Kotoko." The idiot called her, without her showing a bit of recognition.

Naoki didn't stop to think much. He caught Kotoko's face with both hands and cocked his face, close to her mouth.

"That's not a kiss," he whispered maliciously. She closed her eyes.

He then followed his impulse… _and also wanted to give Ikezawa a demonstration of who the loser was_. He lowered his eyelids and joined his lips to Kotoko's, who kept her mouth shut as he slowly moved his, until he stuck out his tongue and made her half-open her lips, with a soft moan.

Gently and tentatively, she made a movement with her lips, in the same way that he did and corresponded properly to the kiss, making both of them try that unknown action, but which slowly took pace, little by little giving comfort to both of them. Even he, who was not experienced, did not dislike the kiss so much that it left him with a sensation difficult to describe on the lips.

He separated from her and raised his eyelids. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the corridor was empty, his intention to piss off Ikezawa done.

He let go of Kotoko's face, causing her to open her eyes and then blush. He, on the other hand, felt a little warmth on his face.

"Do not delay," he warned and nodded to follow the path.

She nodded silently, walking beside him. He frowned inadvertently.

That had been strange.

 **[...]**

That same night, while he was still in a pensive state, his mother replayed the video on the screen again with, according to her, the best scenes of the sports festival of her two children closing with a final flourish in the part were he transported Kotoko to the infirmary. She had repeated it so many times, to the point that, if he did not have a perfect memory, he would remember every detail, due to the many times listening.

He knew he could go to his room, but he found that being silent and alone, would help him to think more about that kiss with Kotoko.

He looked at her for a moment, who was blushing with her eyes on his mother, who was watching the screen again, amid the laughter of his father and Shigeo-san, and the grumbles of Yuuki, who every five seconds gave looks of anger to Kotoko, unnoticed by her.

Kotoko did not seem to give much thought to the past, so he should not either, he decided then, determined to continue where he was, at least until it was time to sleep—his tutoring with the redhead canceled by the fatigue of the day—and he did not have any more opportunity for his mind to think of the kiss. He had kissed his girlfriend, _plain and simple_. The difference was that they had both participated that time. Point.

After that, he observed those who were sitting on the cream-colored sofas in the room, in which, despite everything, Yuuki and even him, were comfortable. He came to the conclusion that, being the six of them, the company was comfortable and usual for everyone, having managed to mix well, although they had their differences.

Kotoko and Shigeo-san had integrated well into his family. They were a good addition to the Irie's and that meant that the bride he had chosen was the right one, showing that he did well.

"It's splendid!" Celebrated his mother, taking him out of his reflections, repeating the video from the beginning.

"How many times do you have to see it?" he muttered in annoyance, and his father laughed.

"As many times as I can, they're wonderful! Kotoko-chan and onii-chan are the perfect couple! They're so good together! They should get married!"

Shigeo-san choked on his drink and his father began tapping him between the shoulder blades, while his brother shouted back and Kotoko opened her eyes, amazed.

His mother laughed to herself.

If only she knew. Anyway, seeing the dynamics amongst all, the decision was clear, Kotoko would be chosen. In a while, it would be fine to do so.

"Leave it for later," he insinuated and stood up, in the midst of everyone's gasps and the screams of emotion from his mother. "Goodnight."

Afterward, he left the room, satisfied with his plan.

Things were going well.

* * *

 **AN: I love the proverb that gives name to this chapter.**

Naoki doesn't know what will hit him.

 ** _Love, Karo._**


	9. Attention comes in different ways

**Chapter 9**

 **Attention comes in different ways**

* * *

Kotoko and Naoki were traveling to school and Kotoko seemed more vivacious than usual, jumping as she walked, making her look like a child. That day he had felt a headache since waking up, more than he felt the night before, so Naoki struggled to accept that ridiculous and puerile act.

"If you fall and hurt yourself, don't think I'm going to help you," he snapped, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Are you okay?" Kotoko asked in a shout, stopping in front of him, her face tilted to the left. A part of her hair, held in a childish tail high on the right side of her head, fell like a curtain to her face; she pushed it away with a wave of her hand.

"It bothers me when you scream," he said and bypassed her to continue on his way to school, thinking, for the first time, that he was lucky it was the last day of school for the week.

She reached him quickly and walked beside him, taking a step forward to look at him in the face, which he ignored but couldn't help noticing, because twice he nearly tripped over her and once Kotoko was very close to a warning sign to a sewer. He didn't want her to get injured and be involved in a media circus.

"Keep your eyes on the road, _clumsy_ , " he snapped, as they approached the subway station, his temples throbbing.

Kotoko flinched and then shrugged, nodding. She remained silent and, fortunately, they arrived at the station when the transport made its arrival. The noise there caused him discomfort, and he knew it would not be easy to ignore it.

They waited for the people to leave and then entered the car; he looked with annoyance when Kotoko went with her head down and away from him, as if she did not remember the times she was uncomfortable when stuck against other passengers.

"It seems you've forgotten," he mumbled approaching her, who stopped. He took her arm and put her in front of him, before grasping a handle, steadying himself from the movement of the subway.

At the time he didn't feel interested in reading a book on the way, so instead he closed his eyes when he started feeling dizzy from the diffused images of the outside, with the intermingled colors causing his head some agitation. He opened them after a while, when they announced that in a few moments they would arrive at the station near the school.

As the transport slowed down, he mechanically brought his hand to Kotoko, who was always shoved to the front, disturbing the passengers surrounding them. The first time it happened, a teenager was pushed and hit a woman sitting holding a baby, so he had to prevent her lack of care from harming others.

The subway stopped and they made their descent. He preceded Kotoko to the exit, while she seemed immersed in one of her common daydreams and stopped in the middle of the station.

He rolled his eyes and left her there, she would soon realize his absence, so he should not get her attention.

Shortly after walking down the street, he heard some hasty steps and in the corner of his eye saw her stand beside him, breathing rapidly.

By that time, the other students were joining them and, those who saw her, many habitual figures at the time, ignored her. That was a scene repeated countless times; at first he could hear the laughter, then only saw shrugs, now, their answers were non-existent.

They passed the school gates and the slight morning bustle caused him to take a deep breath and squeeze the handle of his school bag.

"Jinko! Satomi!" Kotoko exclaimed and he frowned with her shrill scream calling the two friends with whom he sometimes saw with her, a brunette and a light-haired girl.

The other two came running up, greeting his girlfriend with a smile and giving him a nod.

"What are you doing here so early?" Kotoko asked as they made their way to their building.

"We have decided that we'll see if some of your method works, so we arrived early to study for the end of the term," said one of them, the brunette—he wasn't interested in her name.

He thought that, if Kotoko gave that example and they were capable of caring for their grades like her, the school could be amazed by the changes shown by some students of Class F.

"I told her that we could also try it like you," Kotoko's other friend spoke, in a too feminine way, and he frowned. "Irie-san?" Naoki looked at the one with the light hair, raising an eyebrow because they never dared to speak to him directly. _He hoped they didn't ask him to be their_ _tutor_. "Do you think there is someone else in Class A interested in having a girlfriend?" Asked in a too serious tone the girl.

If the headache would have allowed him to sarcastically laugh out loud, he would have done it ( _or not_ ). They really believed Kotoko decided to take an intelligent boyfriend to help her to study.

"I'm not interested in that," he said and returned his gaze to the road.

"Oh!" cried the girl.

"Satomi! How didn't I think of that?!" Exclaimed the other friend of Kotoko, now he knew was Jinko, and he listened to the other two laugh. _Pair of idiots_.

"Well, on second thought, maybe one from B, those from A are too serious," mused aloud the one who was Satomi and he rolled his eyes.

"Heh, heh, girls," Kotoko muttered. He imagined her face flushed.

"Is the library a suitable place to approach some guy from B?" Jinko asked, ignoring his girlfriend.

" _Good luck with that_ ," he said sarcastically, arriving at his class. If they put more enthusiasm into getting a boy than their lessons, being in F was well deserved. At least Kotoko had admitted she wanted to learn, by sacrificing "her time" with him, who acted as a _tyrant_ in their tutorials.

"See you in the afternoon!" Kotoko said goodbye with a smile and he went in not answering, scrunching his mouth in disgust with the volume of her voice, sighing grateful of the peaceful _silence_ that was in his classroom.

Nothing better for his headache.

 **[...]**

His mother laughed with what Kotoko talked about at the table; Yuuki let out an insult to stupid teenagers, that his mother could not hear or would have reprimanded; his father, despite being more interested in the food, let out a small laugh from the excitement of his girlfriend.

"And Jinko and Satomi said they had never seen the library so empty," Kotoko explained amusingly. "They said it was too early for the students to visit. Maybe next week there'll be more people."

Naoki snorted. A few months ago, Kotoko would have been under the same circumstances, without going to the library unless the examinations were closer.

"But Jinko and Satomi decided to study with me, though Kin-chan was telling us not to stress over upcoming tests, and that if they went wrong we could share regularization classes in summer." A comment that Naoki could well imagine coming from the idiot. "I don't want to go to school in the summer," Kotoko ended with a face of suffering.

"Kotoko-chan, you'll have good results, you've been studying a lot with onii-chan," comforted his mother with a smile, patting the hand of his girlfriend.

"Yes, don't do that, my onii-chan would've lost his time," said Yuuki, reluctantly taking the food to his mouth.

Naoki was a little surprised because, despite the insult, it was a small show of support.

Kotoko got up and came over to hug his brother, who tried to run away from her arms, while the adults laughed. "I'll show you _your oniichan_ didn't lose his time, _otouto_ ," she proclaimed squeezing Yuuki, who blushed with embarrassment but jumped to hear how his girlfriend referred to him.

He took a few rice to his mouth and found that he could no more, he didn't feel like eating with the headache he had.

He left his chopsticks and stood.

"I've finished, enjoy your meal," he muttered softly. He noted that all looked at him and the exchange between Yuuki and Kotoko ended.

"Onii-chan?" Inquired his mother. "You haven't finished."

"My head hurts," he said and walked away from the table. "Today you study alone," he informed his girlfriend, who nodded without reply, looking at him with a frown.

He went to the stairs, he would have a good shower and go to bed. He didn't like taking medicine, but sleeping more than usual would give him rest and the pain would go away.

For a moment, the first step seemed to move and he had to hold the rail. Slowly, he began to climb, feeling his body heavy.

His routine before bed was too mechanical; he only sighed when his head hit the pillow.

 **[...]**

The next day, Naoki did not feel much better and the lighting in the room bothered him; also, he felt his body hotter than before.

It could not be what he imagined; it was impossible that he was sick. _He wasn't one for sickness_. Well, not for a long time.

The last time he remembered was in the second grade of elementary school when a girl brought the outbreak of chicken pox and half the group, including himself, was infected, after which followed a nuisance of weeks—fortunately not be repeated in the future—. Since then, he wore a lifestyle healthy enough to not fall for common diseases.

It could be a cold or the flu, his head was too dull to think of the difference. He only knew that his body ached and his throat felt annoyingly scratchy.

The door to his room opened and he covered his head with the quilt, a chill coursing through his body with the outside air.

"Naoki-kun?" Kotoko spoke; her voice was too close, but he hadn't heard the sounds she would have made when tripping over what Yuuki had on the floor. "Is he asleep?"

He imagined her in sportswear, ready to go to the club to play tennis, but he closed his eyes, uninterested in what she had to do. He just wanted to sleep.

"Naoki-kun?" This time her voice sounded closer and he felt her move the sheets from over his head, to feel her hands very cold on his cheek. He moaned and pulled away with a shudder.

"Don't bother," he whispered covering his face.

"Naoki-kun, you're sick," Kotoko said, bringing her hand to his forehead, the temperature difference bothering him. "You're very hot."

 _She was a genius_.

"Leave me... alone," he asked whilst chattering and berated himself for it.

Kotoko, heeding, walked away and he heard the door shutting tightly, which gave him a whimper.

He huddled over the sheets preparing to sleep.

However, the door opened again and he heard the voice of his mother, saying a thousand things about being sick and others topics he wasn't interested in hearing; Yuuki also started to speak, surely awoken because of the noise.

He felt that she had placed a thermometer in his mouth, and so looked at his mother through the cracks of his eyelids.

"Shut up," he demanded, returning to close his eyes.

"Here are the pills!"

His brother asked Kotoko for silence and she repeated it lower, although it also hummed in his ears.

"Onii-chan, take one, to reduce fever," whispered his mother. "I made a smoothie."

He was forced to open his eyes and sit up in bed, receiving a glass filled with a sweet-tasting drink, which he swallowed obligatorily, then he was forced to hold the pill in hand and glass of water. The three witnesses of this ridiculous show of weakness on his part wore equally worried expressions, two in pajamas and Kotoko, as he predicted, in sportswear.

Why did he feel so bad?

First, it was stupid to be sick, seeing how well he cared for himself. And it was silly that he felt so bad, because it was a ridiculous common illness, for sure. Perhaps he had not slept well and that was what he needed.

The tablet was placed on his tongue and he drank the water, which was a profound relief to his throat, more than the previous drink. He took it forward and extended the glass with some difficulty, to ask for more.

Kotoko, with quickness, poured the liquid, which again he finished quickly. Then he returned the cup and lay his head back on the pillow.

"We'll let you rest, the tablet will make you sleepy," his mother let him know and he nodded an affirmative, eyes closed. "I will prepare a broth when you awake."

He heard no more, in the middle of a somnolent state.

 **[...]**

When he regained consciousness, Naoki, upset, coughed with eyes closed and caught the voice of his mother.

"I feel tempted to stay... Onii-chan has never been sickened like this, but I know that nobody will look after him better than Kotoko-chan," she said very quickly, making him frown. Where would she go? Kotoko would take care of him?

 _Better to kill him_ , he didn't think she was the best nurse with how clueless and clumsy she was. If his mother was going out; she could just leave the food and drugs he had to take at hand, and he would be fine. Although with the little energy he felt, it would be an arduous task to bring things to his mouth or go to the dining room. Not that he felt hungry, but the broth should be necessary.

His skin bristled when someone put a damp cloth on his forehead and passed it over his face, reaching up to his neck. It was, however, a source of comfort.

"And it doesn't seem very serious," his mother pronounced slower than before. "I'll take Yuuki to buy the gift that I forgot and I'll check him before dad's meeting. You won't have to worry about him, just avoid him infecting others. It's more dangerous for children."

Naoki frowned when the cloth disappeared. "What meeting?"

"Oh, onii-chan, you're awake," his mother whispered and he opened his eyes, saw the foot of the bed and turned his face a little to see Kotoko, who had a surgical mask on her face and held a white towel in her hands. "It must be the sickness, today is the birthday for a partner of Dad's, I didn't remember it until last night when he mentioned it. I don't know what was in my head."

He nodded without much interest.

"I have to leave, but Kotoko will be taking care of you. I made a soup for you. Just ask her and she will give it to you happily," his mother said with great emotion. "Oh, I wish I didn't have to leave."

He closed his eyes and, with weakness, stood.

"Onii-chan! What are you doing!" Exclaimed his mother.

"Naoki-kun! Where are you going?" Kotoko called simultaneously.

If the heat had not already made his face hot, their intrusion would have affected his face, for certain. He stepped aside as they tried to hold him.

"I have needs," he muttered morosely and without many forces withdrew. Both left him.

He walked carefully down the hall, envious of his parents with bathroom in their master bedroom; it struck him as far, at the time, having to walk up past the other rooms.

After leaving the bathroom, he returned to the room and lay back in his bed.

This time, only Kotoko was in the bedroom, still sitting next to where his pillow was, in his chair, between the beds of Yuuki and him. He could not dismiss her, because she had, _miraculously_ , enough common sense to take a measure that could make it possible to avoid contagion and that was the excuse he would have used at the time to be left alone.

However, she was quiet and perhaps her presence was not so annoying.

"Do you want me to bring you the broth?" she asked solicitously, placing her hand on his forehead. That time, it felt a little less cold.

He nodded.

He leaned back in the bed and saw her run out of the room. For a second, he thought she would stumble and the broth would not reach the bedroom, but moments later, she returned, walking slowly with a bowl of steaming broth on a tray.

"How long did I sleep?" He questioned when she tried to leave the tray on his lap, carefully.

"Almost eight hours, all morning and part of the afternoon," said Kotoko and he nodded in appreciation. "We were worried about you, especially when oba-sama said you rarely get sick."

He made a sound of recognition with his mouth, a strange feeling making him uncomfortable upon hearing her words. To eat, he went to take the spoon, but Kotoko beat him with her reactions being present in all her five senses.

"Give me the spoon," he ordered, holding out the palm of his hand to her, but the gesture did not seem very impressive at the time, his arm trembling at moments.

He coughed.

"Don't upset me."

"Nooo."

"Ko-to-ko," he spoke, cursing the lack of firmness in his voice.

"I will feed it to you," Kotoko muttered and he saw her eyes shining.

" _No, thanks_ ," he replied dryly, after coughing again. He was not useless, and certainly could be burned by her pouring the liquid.

"Too bad." He pictured her below the face mask, pouting. "But you will not win. I'm your nurse today."

He rolled his eyes but was not eager to rebut, more because of how determined and insistent she was.

Kotoko raised the face mask covering her mouth a little, then introduced the spoon into the hot stock and gently blew it before offering it to him.

"Come on, open your mouth, Naoki-kun," she asked in a serious tone.

He had to suppress a sigh of exasperation. "Don't you dare... share this with anyone," he threatened in mumbling and opened his mouth, where she put the spoon with the broth, which felt almost tasteless.

"I will not," she replied, with a smile.

Kotoko reintroduced the spoon into the hot liquid and offered it again. This continued until he felt like he didn't want to eat anymore. In addition, he felt useless and ridiculous. Someone pathetic.

"Now for another pill," Kotoko reported returning the face mask to its place and turning to the night table, serving water from a jug and taking a pill bottle. "Soon you will feel better," she announced excitedly, handing him the cup and the medication, which he took after a coughing fit, while she took the tray from his lap and placed it carefully on Yuuki's bed.

He put the glass on the table and leaned back, this time without feeling the need to use a lot of strength when covered in the sheets.

"Now, to sleep," Kotoko ordered and accommodated the quilt to his neck, in an annoying way.

"I'm not a kid," he muttered, turning to give her his back.

Kotoko laughed and after a few seconds, he turned, seeing that she had gone to return the tray. In solitude, he felt the corner of his mouth lift.

Being aware of it, he closed his eyes and settled down to sleep again, thinking _he really was very ill_.

 **[...]**

Upon awakening once again to the darkest room, indicating night, Naoki, feeling better, stood remembering the places were he could stumble, to head for the bathroom. But before, he felt the need to change clothes and went to the drawer, pulling out his clothes blindly, remembering the position of things.

With clothes in hand, he stepped into the hall and headed for the bathroom. Inside, he relieved his bladder and began to wash his body with a towel, soap, and water, leaving his head intact at the time. The next day, he'd have a proper shower, for now, replacing his sweaty clothes would do.

His body felt more pleasant and the contact with the warm water was cooler than his annoying sickness, but he put on another pajama trousers, not wanting to be exposed to the night temperatures. It was summer and the house was heated, although his room, at that time, wasn't.

Once dressed, he brushed his teeth and washed his face; he no longer had the same reddish tone in his cheeks as he had the night before. He sighed when he saw his swollen eyes; he no longer felt so bad, but inside he was looking forward to sleeping at night.

It depended on everyone, how long it took them to recover.

A dry cough let him and he wrinkled his mouth, finding it annoying.

Naoki returned to his room and set out to turn off the hall light before closing the door, but paused, his hand on the switch, and looked at the figure beside his bed, which he had forgotten.

Kotoko seemed to be in an awkward position. She sat in the chair, resting on her folded arms on his bed, which was somewhat low.

He sighed and pressed the light switch, then closed the bedroom door and went to where she was, in the gloom given to the room by the light coming through the window.

He removed the comforter and bed sheet from Yuuki's bed. He positioned Kotoko with his hands and even without much force, he made her rest on him; she stirred a little but did not awaken. He held her, gritting his teeth just this once, and carefully transported her to the mattress of his brother—whom he believed anyway would not sleep there—settling her carefully, removing the bunny slippers she wore on her feet. He was grateful the sportswear would not bother her sleep.

He covered her with only a thin sheet, because his room was not aired that day and she would feel the heat.

His hand rose to cover her mouth and debated whether to uncover her nose a little or not. He shrugged, so far it didn't seem to bother her sleep. He left the mask as it was and was about to take his hand back, but he found himself raising it to her silky hair, reaching the top of her head.

From his mouth escaped a sigh. "Thank you," he whispered and pulled his hand away to go to bed.

He rested his head against his pillow and, before going to sleep, he seemed to hear the murmur of her calling his name, dreamily.

 **[...]**

The day the exams ended, of which Kotoko claimed to be entirely sure she had achieved enough not to go to summer school, Naoki and his family met at the dining room table, sitting patiently as different smells filled the house from the kitchen.

"Onii-chan," he looked at his mother, "it looks delicious what Aihara papa and Kotoko-chan are preparing for us," she remarked with a grin, shifting with excitement in her seat.

He stared back at his book with shrugged shoulders.

"Mama, _it has to be very good_ , Ai-chan is an excellent chef. I remember when we studied he did excellent dishes, now it's been years and he has a thriving restaurant. He should be even better," appreciated his father, who must have been salivating at the thought of eating.

"And Kotoko-chan accompanies him," said his mother.

Naoki rolled her eyes, Kotoko had once said she had never cooked, and he was sure his mother didn't know that detail.

"I don't think that fool can make a decent dish," Yuuki said with a chuckle. Naoki did repress a smile because he had a sneaking suspicion that it was true, but he did not say it out loud, until checking.

"Yuuki!" Reproached his mother aloud. "Do not talk like that of Kotoko-chan!"

"Family, food is ready!" Shigeo-san announced excitedly from the kitchen; then he started coming out with several dishes accommodated in his arms as a professional waiter would.

Kotoko was behind him, following him, surprisingly, carrying several dishes, too. _An uncanny skill for someone clumsy_.

He left his book behind his chair.

Soon the table was full of dishes and bowls with traditional Japanese food, so good-looking and with such a nice smell, that he didn't know what to choose. He saw them all and then noticed in the corner, a plate with brown rice, which looked very overcooked and not too appetizing.

 _Kotoko_ , it said loudly.

"Ai-chan! It's great!"

"How fortunate we are to have this meal from a great chef," also praised his mother and Shigeo-san's chest was filled with pride by flattery to his culinary art.

"It's a way to thank you for keeping us at home. What better than a good meal for all of you."

"Oh, Ai-chan, you do not have to thank us," replied his father, "That's what friends are for."

"Yes, we are a big family," added his mother, with a dazzling smile. She winked at him. "And we are very happy to have you here."

"Either way, it's a way to show our appreciation. It's something that can be found in the Fugu-Kichi restaurant. You are invited to visit anytime," said Shigeo-san and motioned to Kotoko.

She bowed. "Yes! Thank you for having us."

"Enough of gratitude, we must try this delicious food." His mother spoke and stood to hold Kotoko in her arms while Shigeo-san sat down. "Tell me, Kotoko-chan, how did you help?"

"Oh," Shigeo-san let out a laugh, whereas Kotoko seemed flustered. Naoki suppressed a sneer. "Kotoko helped me cut some vegetables and did, uh, a little rice."

"Which?" Investigated his mother and he wondered if she really was _so_ thick.

Kotoko pointed at her great creation and his mother looked at it for a few seconds, with narrowed eyes.

"Kotoko has never learned to cook well," her father said scratching his head, with a dumbfounded face. _Kotoko lied about her knowledge_ , analyzed Naoki. "I guess she's like her mother in that, Etsuko was not very good at preparing food."

"No matter," said his mother. "It's something that can be solved between women," she expressed her ridiculousness, too determined.

He imagined Kotoko with hours accompanying his mother in the kitchen. He stifled a laugh. He wondered if that would _free him from her company_.

He just hoped she didn't want to have someone to try her attempts.

"Good." Shigeo-san shrugged.

Both women sat and all thanked the food.

"We'll try a little from Kotoko's dish, to see what level you are," suggested his mother in good spirits.

"You want me to die from poisoning?" His brother objected, getting a threatening look.

"Hey," Kotoko laughed, head down, "it isn't necessary, it doesn't seem very appetizing... and, even I would not eat it, it would be better if I took it to the kitchen."

 _Oh_ , Naoki didn't know where it came from, what he did next, but he assumed it was a way to give back what she did for him when he got sick.

He extended his plate.

"Serve me a little," he said to Kotoko, listening to his brother choke on his food and start coughing.

"Onii-chan!" Yuuki exclaimed, as if he was committing a crime, and muttered a few unintelligible things. Kotoko looked up with eyes open wide.

"You won't improve if you don't know how," he said emotionless. Around the table, everyone was silent. "I'm hungry," he urged his girlfriend.

Kotoko shook her head and nodded, a little doubt serving her disastrous food on the plate. He served other meals onto his plate to eat later so that the bad taste of her food didn't linger after he finished it.

Finally, with the plate in front of him, he wondered if he was about to try something that would give him food poisoning.

He took rice with his chopsticks, they were somewhat soft and brought them to his mouth. In his tongue, the first thing he felt was the excessive taste of salt, which made him wince, with a concentrated seasoning sour taste, that he could not tell exactly what it was; when he chewed, he felt it was the kind of food for old people, very close to purée, but with the amount of salt that made it impossible to tolerate.

It was _swallowable_ , but it wasn't good. Accompanied by something tasteless and bread, or anything else, it would be bearable. But _not to repeat_.

"It has a lot of salt," he observed, so that the others could continue eating because they expected his verdict.

"Very well, onii-chan," agreed his mother, seconds later.

The atmosphere at the table then improved and they continued eating. Looking down, he found, beside him, Yuuki watching him carefully; then he lowered his shoulders.

Naoki did not bother to spend a look in front of him, where would have the looks of Kotoko and his mother concentrated on him.

Covertly, when he finished Kotoko's rice, he poured more water in his already empty glass.

He hoped, indeed, that his mother found out for herself. _It was horrible_.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry!**

My Doc Manager showed me I had 11 days left before this was erased... I should've published this, well, a long time ago.

A reader wrote something interesting, about some parts don't making sense. I was supposed to check it on Easter, but I had a project to do, that I finished this Thursday. So, I'll read again the last chapters, but if you remember a special part, tell me, please. The problem must be that Unhappy doen't speak Spanish, and I'm not a translator, and in my language things really make sense, but in this one, they don't.

Anyway, thanks for reading. No promises about the next update, but I'm working on chap. 11

Now I have a headache, pardon my rambling. ;)

 ** _Love, Karo._**


	10. Thoughts that taint

**Chapter 10**

 **Thoughts that taint**

* * *

"I still cannot believe I did it," Kotoko repeated for the umpteenth time on their return from school, to the point of overwhelming him with the same; but he, internally, had the same incredulity that she had after the end of semester results, where Kotoko had obtained fifty, again.

He had thought she would do well on tests, but never he'd have thought that she would repeat the result of the previous occasion, with two points more than the last time; those two points made her obtain the final position of the board, to the disappointment of the boy in Class C that had the position before and wanted it back, as he heard someone say in its class. Unfortunately for the boy, people commented, _Aihara had one more point than he, and she won_.

The tutor of his class was taken aback, as he remarked in his subject. It looked like a milestone in history that someone Class F repeat its position in the list… if a first time was not amazing.

Naoki thought that if teachers changed classes, it would make difference in some of the exams of the lower groups; according to all he observed when he taught Kotoko, it seemed that their teachers thought her group with high learning capabilities. Their way of educating was OK for someone in a class A or B, not for those who needed a gradual process like those of F.

It was a mere observation that would help not promote stupider students and find the ones who deserved a second chance. Or, what could they expect if teachers did not change their positions and were the same for the block A and B, C and D, E and F, the whole three years?

"Fifty!" Kotoko shouted with a squeal of excitement in the street leading to his house.

Some birds in a gate flew away.

"Didn't you say to your otouto that you'll show that my time was well spent?" he asked mockingly.

Kotoko stopped short and pursed her lips.

"Yes, but I didn't think it'd be this way," she responded by moving her shoulders, dancing. "It's not the same, sir perfect score," she said smiling, as Watanabe emphasized he was, again. Actually, that was because he had never studied and now he review his subjects thrice, one when it was taught in class, two more with Kotoko. "It's my first year without summer classes!"

Kotoko took the palms of her hands to her cheeks, opening her mouth in a perfect oval.

"You will swallow a fly," he said, opening the gate of his house.

She closed her mouth and opened her eyes.

"I'll show it off to Yuuki!" With her exclamation, she started up the stairs, two at a time, without fail.

"Wow," he muttered, blinking in amazement. If she didn't focus much on things, she could do them well. Or such was her excitement that the steps became secondary.

"Oba-sama, I'm in the position fifty!" He heard she shouted from inside, accompanied by a shriek of his mother and an exclamation of disbelief from Yuuki.

He continued up calmly and went home with the same tranquility, taking off his shoes.

Two pairs of feet hit against the wooden floor. Yuuki stopped in front of him and, behind, Kotoko caught up.

He looked at his brother, with restless hair, watching him from below, his eyes were wide open.

"Is it true what silly says?" he questioned his Ototo in an incredulous tone.

Naoki nodded.

"Ha! I told you so!" Yuuki's eyes narrowed as Kotoko stuck out her tongue. His little face looked very upset.

"But I wonder how you did if you seem to have the mentality of a child," Naoki said, and his brother's countenance changed, sticking out his tongue to Kotoko, whose shoulders fell.

"Baka."

"Dwarf."

"Stop fighting," he demanded the two, walking in the middle of both. The rivalry of his brother and her had stretched enough, though he didn't treat Kotoko like Yuuki, with whom he had an easy speech.

Also, his girlfriend, despite fighting too, behaved politely with Yuuki.

"Let go!" Exclaimed her brother behind him. He paused a second to see what was Kotoko doing, for if she had passed the stage of verbal exchanges.

He let out a snort when he saw she was carrying Yuuki, who kicked trying to get loose. He continued his steps.

"Don't be evil, congratulate me," Kotoko said, and he pictured her pouting.

"I won't!"

"YUUKIIII!" Kotoko lengthened his name, which echoed throughout the house.

"You have to congratulate her, Yuuki!" His mother joined the talk, and he knew his brother had no escape.

 **[...]**

Frowning, Naoki answered the knock at the door, giving the caller permission to enter. He looked away from the screen, which had a chess match against the computer, to distract himself from reading a technology program of studies.

"Naoki-kun?" He rolled his eyes when listening to Kotoko.

"What do you want now?" he asked turning the swivel chair.

She smiled, letting out a chuckle. "What are you gonna do this summer?" she asked.

He returned attention to the screen, to put in check the computer with a move of his second queen.

"Nothing important for you," he muttered after a few seconds.

"Oh," Kotoko sighed. "I wanted to know if we could move our study session."

He raised his eyebrows. Could it be possible to get rid of her?

He finished the game, checkmating the king of his opponent. He started a new game and moved a pawn forward. "You won't be studying?" he asked, without turning around.

"Yes," replied Kotoko very quickly. "But I'll go out in the afternoons."

He advanced the horse on the right. _What would she do?_

"And I wanted to move our hour and a half to the morning. Can we?"

Naoki moved a pawn forward, frowning.

"Three days I have to go to school, for the tennis club," he informed as a response.

"Well… the other two," Kotoko said after a few seconds. He shrugged and squinted when his horse disappeared at that point, eaten by a pawn.

He was intrigued by what she had to do summer evenings.

 _But what was he doing?_ If he got rid of her much of the time, he could use those quiet moments.

He moved another pawn, which was eaten quickly.

"Don't neglect your homework if you only study Tuesday and Thursday," he said as if it were nothing, listening to her breathing, she was still in the room.

"Huh? Yeah. Huh!" Kotoko said. "I'll do my homework the last weekend."

"I don't recommend it," he said mockingly. "To me, it took me most of the day doing them."

"You've finished your homework!" He laughed mischievously and turned to her, she had a face like she had swallowed something bad and was drowning. "But… but…" She gasped like a fish.

"Shut up, is annoying," he said and raised an eyebrow. "I recommend you to that start early or you will have to fill all your holiday in them. And you'll go out in the afternoons," he recalled, crossing his arms in a gesture of superiority.

"Oh, no!" Kotoko went out of the room scared, leaving him to wonder what she would do.

He shook his head. What did it matter to him? She would go out with her friends, leaving the mild summer afternoons in silence.

Long ago he didn't have that at home, he thought, returning to the game in where he had a lot of disadvantage. At what point did he do so bad moves?

He denied mechanically, not wanting to explore on the response.

 **[...]**

Naoki saw the tennis ball coming and went to the side of his game space, striking back with an accurate movement of the racket, before he went a little to the center. His opponent ran after the ball and barely hit him, and he hit the ball simply with a backhand, sending it to the corner of the field, making his opponent lose. With that, he won the second set, finishing the short game they were having.

The coach clapped congratulating the two, offering advice to Ishiguro, who nodded repeatedly while Naoki walked to the bench, where he picked up his towel to wipe the sweat, and then took his bottle of water.

It that summer, he was sweating more than usual, playing in the sun. Additionally, Ishiguro was the second best in the team and had given him a good fight, but ultimately, he won, as always, despite not being totally focused on the game.

"As fast as always, this will be another year in which you reach the first of the region," Ishiguro said, wiping his forehead beaded with sweat. "You're very good, if you weren't so smart, I think you could dedicate to tennis professionally."

Naoki nodded in appreciation. He didn't contemplate that.

"Do not you rush to strike a blow to the side of the opposite field until it is the right time, otherwise when returning the service, you'll lose," he advised, and his teammate, whom he made double, thought a moment before nodding.

"I'll keep that in mind. I'll buy my lunch, see you later for the doubles." Ishiguro trotted to the cafeteria and Naoki went towards the lockers to get the lunch his mother prepared for him.

The air was wiping the sweat from his body and he felt more refreshed upon reaching the lockers. He already wanted to take a bath and be in the freshness of his home.

And in _the peace_. Since Kotoko wasn't coming back and wouldn't return until night, looking exhausted, but smiling. She was like that for two weeks; so the day before she had fallen asleep, missing their study session.

He celebrated not be harassed many hours, but he felt the same doubt that motivated scientists to investigate. What could she do in the afternoons?

His mother, who did not miss anything and communicated everything, knew nothing and that was too much secrecy.

Naoki said to himself that while it wasn't something dangerous or that will affect him in the future, it wasn't too important.

He left the classroom lockers and heard voices nearby, probably students from the worst groups, who must attend summer school to be regulated by its results.

He had seen the two friends of Kotoko, accompanied by the idiot and two other guys, walking in the school, near the tennis court, chatting animatedly. His girlfriend would have been one of them, and she would be spying, if she had gotten bad results in the final semester.

However, she was occupied half her time on a vacation she said _would enjoy_.

"Kotoko likes to share the afternoon with you?" asked a voice he recognized, and he, attracted by the name of his girlfriend and the content of the question, stopped before turning the corner of the building.

He pepped and frowned.

On a bench under the tree to which he intended to go to lunch were sat the idiot and Kotoko's two friends; one of them, the shortest of the two, had done the question.

"YES!" Naoki scrunched his mouth with the irritating voice of the idiot.

Kotoko and him? Did she spend her afternoons with the loud-mouthed? What was going on there?

"She lets me accompany her home at night when we finish," said Ikezawa, making Naoki frown.

Another time that he was intruding into his affairs? _Intruding where he wasn't called?_ And Kotoko spent the afternoon with him, and she liked it?

The idea of being taken as a fool briefly passed through his mind. Then he thought that Ikezawa had gotten the way to manipulate Kotoko with his idiocies and to take her away from him… _the girlfriend that was already adapted in his life for the purpose he wanted_.

"You're getting into something dangerous, Kin-chan," said the one called Jinko.

"Yes, Irie-san will get angry if he finds out," agreed Satomi.

"You are those who do not understand! _He_ is not worthy of her," replied Ikezawa, like a child in the midst of a tantrum, and stood up, running away.

Naoki turned and went another way, not wanting to cross path with the idiot who wanted to take the girlfriend to whom he had many plans.

Now he had the doubt of what they would do in the afternoons.

Oh, but somehow the dumb was going to pay.

 **[...]**

Kotoko yawned in the middle of his words and Naoki was overcame with irritation. It was the second time in half an hour he saw her doing that action, like she was bored with what he said.

Only that, surely, it was the repetitive fatigue.

He didn't know why she bothered to show up if she was going to be that way. The two Saturdays going to play tennis, she did not have too much energy and just stand mid-session; not to mention that what remained of the weekend, without food, she kept locked in her room.

"You should leave what you do in the afternoons, which exhausts you," he said, without containing the irritating tone. "You're not good like this."

She shrugged and lowered her head; he saw her tighten the pencil in her hand.

"I'm fine, I can keep going," she said, straightening up with a lot of determination. "I have to continue."

"Suit yourself," he muttered sourly. "Don't waste my vacation time if you show up in this way, silly."

"I won't do it." She gave him a smile, and added with an emotion that annoyed him: "I will continue as usual."

"While it doesn't harm me," he replied, shrugging.

"I ended up most of my duties," she let him know. "Could you review them later?" she asked with her hands in the form of prayer, looking into his eyes with an angelic expression on her face.

"Leave them before you leave," he said and pointed again the notebook where was one of the topics to check ahead before they returned to the second quarter of the semester. At least, study holidays served to lessen the burden subject for the coming months.

"Thank you!" Kotoko made a move to get closer to kiss him on the cheek, but went away and attended to the paper.

He opened his eyes for a second; she had not done that, right?

Since when Kotoko rejected to approach him?

 _Not that it bothered him, it just seemed strange_. Until suspicious. He didn't understand.

He shook his head and began to explain; physics problems were a simpler issue to occupy his mind.

 **[...]**

"Onii-chan, don't you think that is more peaceful without _Kotoko_?" Yuuki asked and Naoki saw him look away from his school notebook, which he was doodling for his diary observation of holidays.

Naoki had given him a glance seeing that it starred Kotoko, but only found out outstanding her attempts of cooking that his mother and her did in the mornings, which made disasters in the kitchen (very funny), and the failed tennis training of both, those that Yuuki had insisted go for entertainment, and other things he had seen her doing.

Yuuki commented in his drawings a bit about her likes and her daily routine, the time spent doing homework during morning holiday and studying with his oniichan; with one part on her way to sleep—it was surprising that his ototo knew that, reaching the point of spying—. Now he also knew it and was amused to know that she drooled a little the days seemed exhausted, according to Yuuki. Predictions about what she could be doing in the afternoons, but nothing more.

They were comments more objectively than malicious and he could almost say that his brother looked with different eyes at Kotoko, it was not possible to say such thing to whom he seemed to detest in the day.

Was probably he got past the novelty of arrival? Or, finally, he understood that his relationship with each one was different and that he did not change his brother for a girlfriend.

Or, he thought with disgust, there was also the possibility that he realized that Kotoko did not look very attentive to him on that vacation, because in his drawings did not match them rather than in their study session and tennis courts, despite mentioning that they were dating. Maybe he had the impression that they were away and so she was more acceptable.

 _What nonsense he thought_.

"You seem very focused on the window, oniichan," his mother entered the room with a tray full of drinks and snacks. "Are you waiting for the arrival of Kotoko-chan?"

Denying he pulled back a little, just to see that the aforementioned appearing and saying goodbye to the loud-mouthed, waving her hands; after this, he returned her purse.

He sat on the couch and picked up a sandwich. He chewed it when Kotoko made her entrance. She smiled when she saw them in the living room. She sat beside him, and then took a bagel and ate it with relish.

"Kotoko-chan, be careful," his mother said placing a glass of iced tea before her.

"Sorry." Kotoko laughed, little breadcrumbs on her upper lip, that Yuuki pointed out, and she took a slow tongue movement, which captured his attention for a few seconds. "I'm starving."

"We noticed," muttered Yuuki, starting to draw in his notebook.

"What do you do?" Kotoko asked, leaning her hands on his legs to see what Yuuki did, but he closed the book shut.

"Nothing that interests you," said his brother, pulling out his tongue at her, who shrugged and took another sandwich, when he pushed her away.

She wouldn't wait until dinner.

"I'm very hungry, today I had no time to eat anything, I was very busy," Kotoko spoke as though she was alone, saying her thoughts out loud.

He, chewing quietly, waited her to continue and say what she was doing.

"What do you do in the evenings, Kotoko-chan?" Asked his mother. He was surprised that she had not decided to spy on her and that she was unaware; for the first time, she had not done what was expected of her.

"Hey," Kotoko blushed and looked at him a moment, looking away realizing that he was watching her. "I cannot say," she finished, tucking a piece of the sandwich to her mouth to keep her busy.

His mother frowned. He thought he would be in the same situation if he was not controlled in front of others. Kotoko's secrecy, and her little ability to conceal that it was for him, was to make him suspect.

Kotoko cleared her throat. "This Saturday some of my classmates and I are going to Waterland, do you want to go?"

"Yes!" Yuuki said with a jump in his seat, away from his drawing. Naoki didn't know if it was from the excitement of going to the pool or to watch her, but his enthusiasm seemed genuine.

"I know summer classes have not finished," he pried. Kotoko nodded.

"Yes, but they want to go to reduce stress study." She shrugged. "It can be very weary, I understand." She laughed with some thought of her head. "And Kin-chan said that this year some teachers are more demanding after my results."

He pursed his lips slightly.

"Oh, Kotoko-chan, you're a great example," his mother flattered her. "But I am not suitable to go to those places. I think oniichan can accompany Yuuki. Right, oniichan?" He shrugged. If his mother had already accepted the idea. "It won't mind them you take your boyfriend and his little brother?"

Kotoko laughed. "No, we all will have fun. And Yuuki wants to go, I don't think I could take care of as him as I should," she mused at the end.

"Then is a plan," concluded his mother.

He stood to retire to his room. "Good night," he said dryly.

The last thing he wanted was a day where the idiot was present, but he had no more option than go. He thought that at least he would have the opportunity to avoid the idiot committing a stupidity there to take away _his_ girlfriend.

 _If by accompanying her in the afternoon he wasn't doing it._

Thanks to the idiot, his convenient plan was in danger.

 **[...]**

Saturday, with shorts and sleeveless shirt, like his brother, Naoki entered the water park flooded in laughter, not as busy as he would have expected, but frequented by people of different ages.

He loaded the bag with the clothes on his left hand and with the right pointed deck chairs under large umbrellas for Yuuki and him to be placed. Kotoko, covering her eyes with her hand, with a small bag on her shoulder, looked for her mates.

"Kotoko." One of her friends shouted, waving her arms, accompanied by the pretty girl, the loud-mouthed, and the two guys that followed him. They were sitting on the edge of the pool, their feet in the water.

"Now I will go with them, don't you want to join us?" Kotoko looked at him with a flushed face, and he wondered what caused it.

"Yuuki have to be in the lowest zone," he said and Kotoko nodded, pouting her lips.

"Okay, I'll have fun with my friends for a while." She said that but showed no intention of moving.

"What?" he asked.

"Oba-sama-said-there-was-a-problem-with-my-school-swimsuit-and-I-have-to-use-what-she-bought." It was his good capacity for understanding which provided him with the ability to catch her words.

"So what?" he replied without thinking and then squinted being aware of the way his mother acted. " _Don't bother_ ," he grumbled.

"Mom wants to do the impossible," spluttered Yuuki, which until then had been seeing.

" _It's embarrassing_ ," Kotoko whispered, and Naoki smiled sideways, but then saw that Ikezawa looked at them and he did not feel so mockingly.

"Go with it," he instructed her with obviousness, pointing to the blouse with spaghetti straps, though it seemed more like an order. He would not be at the expense of his girlfriend receiving some indecent approach from the idiot, which, in any case, drooled for her and dared to meddle in their affairs.

She nodded as if it hadn't occurred her—which was very possible—and went away to where her friends were.

Naoki, meanwhile, went with Yuuki until the sun loungers he said earlier, settling with him, in moments looking to Kotoko and his companions.

When he saw that she had taken off her shorts while remaining with the spaghetti straps top, he was surprised to note that her legs had good muscle tone; five hours of exercise with him, to encourage the play of tennis, had served to give strength to the legs he saw that first day of exercise. Nearly three months of exercise had their advantage.

He grinned when the flirtatious friend pointed the blouse of Kotoko and she refused, causing another shrug of the girl.

With that, he looked away and put the rest of sunblock to Yuuki, who walked carefully to the edge of the pool and jumped with a shout to the part that wasn't deep.

 **[...]**

Naoki moved his eyes from the book, which he had advanced only four pages, and oversaw back to Yuuki, who stood over the water with floats but seemed more attentive to the other side of the pool, right where Kotoko was.

For a moment, he thought Yuuki was developing a crush on his girlfriend, but dismissed it with the analytical gaze—rather than a spellbound one—his brother gave her. It must be to complete his diary.

He, too, had to admit, had been watching Kotoko, who played in the pool to throw water and had a volleyball game in which she received constant hits, showing no apparent interest in the idiot, who looked a lot at her all time.

A part of him had overseen her the same as his brother because it was possible that something happened, as she was accident prone. The other part was alert to some movement from the idiot, which jeopardized his plans, even though his attempts to stop him had no effect.

"Onii-chan!" Yuuki came to his side and sat on the towel on the chair, pulling the floats. "I want a vanilla ice cream." He pointed to a girl who was walking with a cone in his hand and a scoop of yellow ice cream.

He thought of going to the stand, which was only a few meters, but shrugged. So far, Yuuki had not done anything that would prejudice its security and, anyway, he was someone very conscious at his age.

"Be right back, stay here," he said and stood up to go to the ice cream stand, looking over his shoulder to monitor Yuuki sitting there, quiet.

Arriving where they sold ice cream, he waited for the manager to attend a lady, taking his time to give her change, and then asked the cone to his brother.

He paid. The turn around coincided with a commotion in the pool. Promptly, he saw Yuuki was not in his place and felt concern.

He walked quickly to the pool and let the ice cream fell to see Kotoko, with his Ototo in her arms, unmoving, on the side of the pool.

His heart pounded.

No matter that it was against the rules, he ran to them avoiding a puddle of water, stopping relieved by seeing his brother breathing.

"Yuuki," he expressed in dismay, kneeling beside his girlfriend and his brother. "What happened?" he asked Kotoko, placing a hand on the back of Yuuki, who was trembling.

"He was walking fast by the pool and slipped," whispered Kotoko, stroking the head of his brother, stirring his wet hair. It was a different image of her, as a concerned mother; he did not think, with the immaturity she showed many times, that she could display it. "We caught up fast and he was only a few seconds in the water," she explained quietly, looking down, with obvious concern in her.

"It's the shock," he elucidated, regaining the calm. "Thank you."

Kotoko shook her head and smiled afterwards.

"You should take better care of your brother, Irie," intervened the idiot in an obvious tone and Naoki tensed, "and you, child, you shouldn't ignore signals of not running."

At that moment the impertinent loud-mouthed was the last person he wanted to hear saying that logic. Neither would he gave him the satisfaction of answering.

"Shut up you idiot!" Shouted his brother, getting away from Kotoko, to run away to the dry zone.

Naoki stood up to go for him.

Kotoko placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. "Kin-chan, I saw that Naoki-kun went to the ice cream stand, also I looked at Yuuki approach us without seeing on his way. Accidents happen," she said to her companion quietly. "I got this."

He stood there watching her going away and returned with calm steps to his place. That time he was certain that she was the best person to talk to his brother.

 **[...]**

Whatever Yuuki and Kotoko speak, it served to enhance the mood of his brother and make him participate in the water with her, accompanying her even in the slide.

Naoki decided in his mind that it would be something of them, when he noticed that it also worked for them to get along better, because Yuuki was closer to her when they returned home, without making her object of insults. And his notebook, as he revised at night while he slept, had a very significant drawing of Kotoko, which described her as _great_. That was something.

At least, he would not have to worry anymore about enmity.

However, there was still the matter that will be around over his head thanks to the conversation he heard at school.

Well, they said it was best not to spy.

"Naoki-kun?" Kotoko was calling him from the open door of his room.

He was amazed, it was Sunday, and she had left her room for something else than eat. Surely she would plague him with any request.

"What do you want?" he snapped, slamming the book of aeronautics that he could not conclude.

He heard Kotoko muttering something that included the words boat and plane, before turning.

She had her hands hidden behind her back, there was a box lined with wrapping paper.

He frowned. Would she go to a birthday party? He hoped she hadn't come to ask him to go with her.

"Are you busy?" Kotoko asked in a whisper, nodding to the book down on the table.

"Say what you have to say," he replied, sighing. Her dress was not like going out, so he could not ensure anything.

She laughed and shifted uncomfortably.

"Kotoko," he warned because he didn't want to waste time; he had to see if Aircraft engineering would be something that he would do, after passing through the naval.

"Eh, yes." She pulled the box—of a considerable size—from behind her and placed it on his legs.

He was surprised at his weight, no more than she was giving him a gift.

"I hope you like it," Kotoko said in a very low, with a red face.

Naoki sighed and began to remove the silver paper wrapped around the box, taking care not to tear it in the process. When it came to content, he opened his eyes, surprised.

It was a set to assemble an old ship in a bottle.

Kotoko's gift election told him she had noticed that he was reading about Marine engineering (when he did) and she thought he would like it. Well, it was not an unpleasant activity, but he never thought he would it.

"Why?" He spoke with a strange feeling of unease.

Kotoko smiled as he placed the package on the table; her face shone with a happy expression. He was almost blinded by her emotion.

Nonsense.

"As a thank you for helping me to study," explained his girlfriend in a singsong way. "Thanks to you I got to be twice," she emphasized two fingers high, "on the list of top fifty".

Worthy of Kotoko not taking credit, even when she also had to do in the matter.

"And because you're _my boyfriend_ ," she continued, moving from one foot to another, "and I wanted to make you a gift. Although it was difficult to choose for those who have…"

He nodded and grabbed her wrist, stopping her monologue. He ignored the growing sense that he could not identify his chest, almost like guilty, but deep there was satisfaction with her loyalty. Regardless of it, he felt gratitude, and it was fine to let her know, for the trouble she had taken.

She looked at him with eyes open wide and bright when he pulled her close and had to put her hands on his chest for support.

"Thanks," he said only in a whisper, keeping his eyes fixed on her face. She parted her lips and licked her tongue and he had a lapse in his mind, in which he brought his face closer to his girlfriend, with his attention solely on her mouth.

Then he joined his lips to hers.

* * *

 **AN: Hello!**

 _I know, long time. Good news is I have my Bachelor's degree :D, also, that I'll put my 100% to finish this fic this year. I think IG steals my inspiration, so I need a "Complete" here ha,ha._

 _I've been doing some changes in first chapters (3 of them so far); the fic hasn't changed, but someone told there are parts difficult to understand._

 _Love,_ **Karo**

* * *

Guest: Ha,ha, I thought it was funny to have Naoki in a situation like that. He needs to suffer XD. He's more human now, an effect of Kotoko. He don't realize it, though. Thanks for r&r.


	11. In the oven of summer?

**Chapter 11**

 **In the oven... of summer?**

* * *

"KOTOKO-CHAN!"

Naoki tensed after hearing the call of his mother, feeling annoyed internally. Kotoko, meanwhile, blinked repeatedly until her eyes opened astonished, with half her face flushed.

Their lips, which were united, separated, and the two stared each other for a few seconds.

"I have to go!" She pulled away with an alarmed expression. "Oba-sama wants me to help her with the dinner!" She told him and he saw her moving her hands and eyes desperately like she was debating between staying in the room or accompanying his mother. "Now that I'll no longer work in the afternoons, she wants me to help her in what's left of vacation… I should have heard Kin-chan and continue in the restaurant where we worked, but it was very tiring and I wanted to have time to see you… and I got the money I needed. I think he doesn't, but I've seen him more this summer than you and…"

"Go," he growled, cutting her to not let her speak her thoughts aloud as she had offered him the information he wanted.

She nodded and went like lightning out off the room, as his mother called again.

He was left thinking, not understanding why he was frustrated… if he preferred to be alone and not have her pestering, taking his time. He didn't know why he felt the inclination to kiss her; momentarily a thought of thanking her that way passed his mind, but then he could only see her eager face and he acted that way.

 _Irksome_. That Kotoko had given him that gift, thought specifically for him (meaning she paid attention to his activities), and what she had done to buy it, caused that brief moment of confusion.

He shrugged trying to take off that feeling inside and reflected about what she had said.

She spent those afternoons working to get the money to buy him a gift. Apparently, Ikezawa was also on the same place and therefore they concurred at those hours; he understood that he accompanied at nights. In addition, the loud-mouthed took advantage of every moment to do his "tricks" and disrupt his plans, in order to fulfill what he had seen in his notebook, _to have Kotoko_.

It was unlucky for Ikezawa that Kotoko preferred him and that he acted first, with his own purposes for her. She was well attached to his family and his lifestyle, what he wanted.

He snorted and slapped his palm to his forehead because he deserved it.

 _He had thought like an idiot_.

All because he had seen how his plans were in danger.

For a while, he had forgotten that the Kotoko was in love with him, so the dumb could not take the girlfriend he had chosen and that was secure in his life.

He sighed of relief, Kotoko kept eating out of his hand. Nevertheless, he should take special care of Ikezawa, who insisted on ruining his plans, all to attract his girlfriend.

He should have a serious talk with him and put a stop to his tricks, but he was afraid that it didn't make sense thanks to his idiocy; exchanges in the past with Ikezawa had not done much to stop it. Yes, he would only remain attentive.

This time Kotoko was not the problem. It was the other who meddled in their lives and in his plans.

He gave another sigh and turned in his chair to watch the gift from Kotoko. Watching it and knowing what it meant caused him satisfaction and other undefine sensation, but he stayed with the first, _conveniently_.

 **[...]**

Tuesday at midafternoon, after the withdrawal of Kotoko from his room, to correct the problems that she had wrong, Naoki found himself placing a piece on the stern of the ship that began to take shape at the bottom of the bottle.

His brother watched him with great interest, from his bed, lying face down and leaning on the palms of his hands.

"Onii-chan, when did you buy it?" His mother's voice almost distracted him by her sudden appearance, but he sighed and managed to balance his hand.

"Kotoko," he said, ending with that piece and moving away from the table.

He turned in his chair and faced his mother.

"She worked, and with the money she gave it to oniichan," explained his brother, who had specifically written in his diary, with some favorable notes.

Yuuki still bothered her, but he did it with fun, not in a disdainful way, as it was before.

"Oh, wow!" His mother clasped both hands and took them to the side of her face, in an adoringly way. "That's why she worked so hard these weeks and had to bear with his admirer, who thinks that can compete against oniichan."

Naoki rolled his eyes.

"It's an expensive gift," his mother remarked aloud, sharing the opinion that he had and that strange feeling grew inside of him, returning when he was near the ship. "Kotoko-chan is a wonderful girlfriend!"

He was not in the mood to listen to his mother flattering her. "What do you need, okaa-san?" He asked curtly and she blinked before smiling widely.

"When did you end your tennis training?" She asked.

"Tomorrow."

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "You're the only missing."

He did not even bother to ask what idea she had now; she would say it.

"We'll have a family vacation!" she announced encouraged. "The parents can take a few days off and neither you nor Kotoko-chan have other plans, and she and her father have not been there. We'll go the weekend near Nikko, there will be spas, temples, lakes and we will be in cabins, and will campfire at night. We'll have fun!"

Yuuki incorporated seemed excited about the trip. Naoki shrugged, he knew that when his mother had already put an idea in her mind, contradicting her the same as having her insistence.

In addition, the time that they were there was less than one day, because his father had an emergency in his word, and there wasn't another chance to go there.

"Okay," he mumbled after a few seconds and went back to his activity.

 **[...]**

On Friday, at the transport, Yuuki and Kotoko had seemed like two excited children looking through the window of the train, but now they looked much worse than that, as the place's manager was leading the six to family cabins at the resort. His mother had found, with little time—if she didn't have months planning—the perfect place, the biggest of the cabins, with three bedrooms.

Kotoko and his brother, and he and Shigeo-san, would share a bedroom, the most _acceptable_ way for them; surely her mother couldn't convince Kotoko's father, or it was him who had bad thoughts of her dark ways of proceeding.

He admitted that the place was not bad and was a nice in that year, in which summer temperatures in the city had increased greatly, becoming unbearable the time (the product of environmental changes, without doubts, certainly caused by the hands of unconscious humans).

The resort was in a mountainous area, surrounded by trees and aquifers, which made a beautiful picture to the eye of the observer. The wooden huts, with traditional Japanese appearance, properly mixed with the environment, getting lost with its green, brown and cream colors, between the trees of the landscape. Animal life in the form of birds, fish and small mammals, also excelled.

…and the air was purer than in the city.

They were not far from the center of Nikko, but it was different being in the middle of a natural environment.

"Let your belongings because we will leave," his mother instructed with great enthusiasm. "We'll take the bus to visit the Toshogu Shrine during daylight, we'll cross the Shinkyo bridge, and at night we'll enjoy the hot springs. Isn't it great?"

All, except for Naoki, nodded. He sighed. The thoughts of his mother for going to a quiet place to relax, it was that, make them go everywhere. Nor was it that he would be all locked in the cabin all those days, when around promised to be nice enough to hang out, even with the slight feeling of warmth.

Maybe tomorrow he would take a solitary break and enjoy the tranquility that could provide the small forest and the nearby pond, that the manager, while showing them the map, revealed as the less crowded place in there, as tourists preferred to visit the lakes around.

That way it would be a good trip to relax. No mother and girlfriend following him.

He carried his small bag into the room and let Shigeo-san chose the bed he wanted, which was the farthest from the window.

In the bedroom, there were two twin beds of a single size, with sheets of a clear shade of blue. Also, there was a small closet and a nightstand between the beds, on which there was a lamp.

There was no table or chair because they were in the living room outside, where there was an armchair and two sofas in front of a fireplace that was to be used in winter.

That time, the bathroom would be shared among the six. It'd be troublesome.

"Naoki," spoke Shigeo-san.

"Yes?" he asked, turning to him, after taking a shirt from his bag to hang in the closet and not wrinkle it more.

"I wanted to talk to you alone." Shigeo-san sat on the bed and Naoki chose mimicked in his. Then he nodded. "I wish to thank you for the good man you've been with Kotoko," he said in a formal tone. Then he smiled and scratched his nape. "I confess that, at first, I had my suspicions about living where my daughter's boyfriend lived." It was understandable. "But I verified what I said, you seemed a good boy, and being with you has influenced Kotoko favorably."

Shigeo-san sighed.

"I never thought she would choose a proper boyfriend so I was surprised." Naoki thought she could be very sharp in that respect, although he had more to do in beginning the relationship, his intentions mere practicalities to his benefit… Well, good for her, too… Besides, it had granted her whom she admired.

She won a lot with him.

"I was afraid that the friend of Kotoko, Kin-chan, who visited us when we moved, was the kind of guy that she will choose; she is, well," he cleared his throat, "you know how." Both laughed softly. "And that guy is like Kotoko and my daughter needed to know someone more serious, who also cares for her. I wouldn't have opposed to what she had chosen, if it gave her happiness, as long as he was acceptable; but I'm glad it's you. _As long as you want, of course_ ," Shigeo-san added at the end, because it seemed like giving him her hand in marriage.

If his mother was worse and she did not hide it, he had no reason to feel ashamed.

Naoki smiled slightly at his father-in-law; he liked the man.

"Oji-san, I have no fleeting intentions with Kotoko," he answered sincerely.

Shigeo-san opened his eyes a little more for a second and then nodded, standing up and patting him on the shoulder.

"Come on, surely they are waiting," he said.

Both went off the room.

Naoki felt that something important had transpired at that time, which he failed to define exactly. Perhaps it was the clarification to Shigeo-san of _their future union_.

But he knew that his words were true; he had had the opportunity to see how it could be with both of them in his family, after four months of living together. Stupid or not, Kotoko had been a good choice to achieve the task that his father gave him and, with Shigeo-san, they were a good addition to the Irie family. His mother had said the right thing when describing those days as a family holiday.

 **[...]**

Later, they had already spent time touring the Toshogu Shrine, a jewel of Japanese architecture, with its gold, its impressive panels, and its numerous sculptures, among which were the "Three Wise Monkeys"*. They also briefly toured the Futarasan shrine and the Taiyuin mausoleum, near the principal one; took their lunch at one of the local restaurants and paid their respects at the temple.

At the current time, they were on the Shinkyo bridge with his red majesty, representing the "two snakes" that had served the hermit to cross the Daiya river, divider of the two fields in the area. He had read the information in the brochures, and his mother repeated aloud in their journey.

"Onii-chan, pose for the photo. Smile!" Asked his mother, while in the middle of the bridge, where she made Kotoko and him be located, with the setting sun behind them. "I want a perfect romantic photograph of you two!" she said before pressing the camera button countless times. "Onii-chan, smile! Kotoko-chan, you're perfect!" He felt her laugh as he held by the shoulders, something he was doing by a demand (and threat) of his mother; he couldn't deny, with his family watching him.

At that time, his father went to talk to his wife in the ear, interrupting her session. He busied himself looking down and watched Kotoko, who during the day had behaved with her usual daydreams, showing her childish attitudes sometimes, even when his mother tried to buy clothes for her that made her look older.

She had a white dress with a rounded form in her bust, and a pink ribbon below, adjusting the garment beneath her breasts, falling freely to the knee, allowing the skirt to move with the air. Kotoko used a hat and he could not see well her face, but from the sides of her were visible two long braids, that fell on her collarbones and between moments tickled his bare arm, as he had a short-sleeved shirt.

He heard the sound of the camera from his mother and looked to the front. "I have the perfect shot!" She released her with a shriek, and Naoki felt his eyelid tremble. "Now, let's stand together for a family photograph and then we'll have individuals."

His mother asked a young tourist, of a western appereance, to take a couple of pictures of all them. The guy nodded, responding in the same English used by his mother.

"A nice family," said the guy at the end, giving a look at Kotoko with his blue eyes. "A beautiful and lovely daughter," he added and left to go with his group of friends.

Naoki could see that Kotoko, having improved her language skills, thanks to him, blushed.

"A very nice Englishman," judged his mother, deciding his nationality by his British accent.

 _Nice_. Sure, he thought, sarcastic.

His mother continued to make photographs to the others until she said it was time to return, to enjoy the hot springs.

 **[...]**

The next morning, Saturday, Naoki wasn't in a good mood, though it would have been expected after the soothing waters. Although the areas where they bathed were separated, his mother took care of irritating his relaxing bath, while the other men had retreated to the cabin, using exhaustion as an excuse.

Somehow, his mother had known, behind the wall separating the spring for men and women, that only he was there.

While he wanted to relax, she said in a loudly voice, _that he wanted to ignore and really tried_ , about the generous attributes she saw of Kotoko, and how lucky was her oniichan to see them, even with the moans of embarrassment of the girl. She had given a somewhat detailed description; size, shape, and color, that his mind caught—though he refused to, and, to his misfortune, he wouldn't be able to forget—before giving up and deciding to retire.

His mother encouraged his thoughts and a part of his mind that he had believed in control after the incident with the condom, making him feel an uncomfortable way, with a pure innuendo. _And that was illogical and stupid_. She ruined his chance to sleep since his head hit the pillow, delaying his sleep until exhaustion and distraction—that he got from Shigeo-san snoring—were stronger.

"It looks like oniichan's bed wasn't very comfortable for sleeping."

His mother's comment, probably due to the dark bags under his eyes, made him frown, without even looking at her. She was with her father at the roundtable, to her right was Yuuki and then Kotoko.

"That's strange, my bed was very nice," Shigeo-san, on his left, said, after all thanked for breakfast.

"Mine too, I slept quietly," remarked Kotoko, who he wanted to avoid, like his mother. It was bad having her at his side. "I slept like a baby."

"Snoring like an ogre," pointed out Yuuki, with an amused grin. "And drooling."

"I don't snore!" Kotoko replied, ignoring the other charge; maybe it was true or she didn't hear it.

"And you talk while you sleep," his brother added, laughing. Naoki rolled his eyes, while the others laughed by the fraternal fight, as his mother called it.

He had the impression that his brother put a lot of interest in her.

Yuuki paused his laughter. "You said…" He laughed. "Naoki-kun, please! It will be fun."

He tensed in through the bite; the last thing he wanted to hear were suggestive phrases, although others it would cause laughter. As he hadn't slept well, he was not in his five senses.

"Hey, you don't have to repeat everything!" Kotoko complained shaking his brother, who was still laughing. "I didn't spy while you slept."

"Because just entering the room you threw yourself to the bed in those small pajamas you bought in the girl section."

Naoki gritted his teeth.

"Yuuki!" Kotoko screeched, the other diners in the restaurant turned toward the scandal that she did, making her shrink in her seat. "Take that back," she threatened looking at Yuuki with narrowed eyes.

Adults did nothing to intervene.

"No, you didn't let me sleep". Yuuki stuck his tongue out at his girlfriend, who raised her fist.

"You're a liar, you don't have a lack of sleep face," Kotoko growled, approaching his ototo to tickle him, in a childish attitude.

"End your breakfast, children," his mother interfered, "we have a big day ahead. Today we'll tour the Yunoko lake, we'll fish and explore, and at evening we'll do a campfire," she shared her plans. "Tomorrow we'll use the aerial lift to see the Chuzenji Lake and the Waterfalls, we'll go to Tobu and Edomura parks, and we'll buy at the end," she finished.

Kotoko and Yuuki nodded and returned to their food.

Naoki did not feel like going to the lake at that time or for an adventurous walk. "I'll join at night at the campfire," he whispered, with some regret for going away, but if he went, it would be worse, because he would be a bad company.

"Onii-chan?" His mother asked in a quiet tone.

"I have other plans," he explained, "I want to walk around and rest for a while."

His mother's eyes twinkled and she nodded. Maybe if he wasn't so angry, he would have thought about her lack of insistence.

 **[...]**

Naoki walked enjoying the calm green foliage around him, calculating in his mind the distance, watching his surroundings to get to the pool and sit for a while to relax near the shore.

It was quiet being alone, without tedious and unwelcome presences in the periphery, breathing the air with the scent of pine, spruce, and holly, and being with light clothes in the heat, not sticky, but noticeable, that was in the environment.

He had been resting in the bedroom for a while and then had decided to leave, which proved to be a good idea; and now that he was going to the pond, he hoped to meet some vegetable or interesting animal species around, that he saw in the botany book at the main lobby of the complex.

He heard a sound of moving leaves and wondered if there was any prowling rodent, looking in the bushes. Premeditatedly, he had used a path in the woods to go to the pond, rather than the main road. By asking, the workers said it was okay because it was impossible to get lost out there. But, anyway, it was good to warn them to take him into account.

Neither was possible to visit the place in circles, broadleaf deciduous and evergreen conifers could be distinguished with their leafy tops and different wooden textures, as well as plants and flowers on the floor that did not follow the same pattern. Some idiot will probably lose if he was too distracted, but by wandering he would reach the main road and would be located.

He reached the almost eight hundred meters that separated his cabin from the pond and saw that at two steps there was a slight slope; he already distinguished the shine crystal water with the reflection of the sun, which poked out through the trees surrounding the pond (that gave shading to the shore), and kept the water temperature cool. He stepped carefully at the beginning of the slope, not mentioned by the manager, to whom he would tell when he saw him, to warn another that mimicked his initiative.

He had to descend attentively.

"Naoki-kun!" He was startled to hear on his back the shrill voice of Kotoko and somehow—or the clumsiness of her—he found himself rolling in what was left of the slope, unable to stop, with the body of his girlfriend rolling with him.

He made an attempt to put his hands, but Kotoko pushed him accidentally, directing him to the water.

He barely closed his eyes.

He immersed himself in warm water and his hands touched the bottom of the ground without difficulty, making easier to kneel on the area to spit out some of the water that entered his mouth, of a not very pleasant taste.

He was moving his hair away from his forehead when he heard the whining of Kotoko.

"Naoki-kun! I can not! Save me!" He stood up quickly, the water reaching to just below the knees and he looked for her, thinking she was in danger for some aquatic plant. But he saw her a little away from him—he didn't ask himself how she got there—, slapping and kicking ridiculously, without remembering that she knew how to swim.

He wrinkled his nose. Because of that silly, he had soaked. And what the hell was she doing there?! _Why, dammit, did she follow him?!_

Couldn't she give him a moment of peace?

"Moron!" he shouted, and she stopped moving. "You can stand up!" He snapped taking a step towards her, wanting to shake her body. He wanted to lay hands on her shoulders and shake her until she could learn to leave him alone, to not get into his affairs or interfere in his thoughts.

She stiffened in the water, which came halfway out of her belly, and took two steps to him, stopping when she looked into his eyes.

He watched her feeling irritation and looked down at the shoulders he wanted to shake, in which he put his hands, but he saw something that caught his attention, preventing him from moving her as he wanted.

The yellow sleeveless blouse she was wearing clung to her like a second skin, and the water had made it transparent to the point he noted two erect tips in her front, that he perceived, _feeling a sudden anger_ , weren't covered by the protection of a bra.

That unconscious woman.

A flame was lit in his head and he clenched his teeth at the stupidity of her. "Naoki-kun!" She shifted her shoulders as if she felt uncomfortable and he realized he was pressing his hands, he also saw that her torso made other movements attractive to his eyes.

Without much thought, he brought his mouth to hers, to punish her with a kiss led by the thoughts that arose from thinking what her unconsciousness could incite the other visitors… one of the the Englishman that looked at her with appreciation the day before.

 _His girlfriend_ should learn to not be exposed to that kind of people.

Kotoko groaned between his body and he pulled her toward him, not knowing what she had that his lips moved less rapidly and furious, moving over hers in a way that came right to the warmth he felt in the atmosphere.

Naoki tilted his face to the right and an impulse led him to open her mouth to bring out his tongue and touch the lips of Kotoko, who opened her cavity and gave him the opportunity to touch the moisture of her tongue.

He shivered and felt the sting of his conscience calling.

He separated from her, disgusted with himself, and looked at Kotoko with disdain.

He put distance between the two and removed upper shirt he was carrying, over a white one. It was wet, but it would cover her from prying eyes until they reached the cabin.

"Cover yourself!" He roared holding out his shirt and turned to go to the shore. "What are you waiting for?!" he blurted when he heard she wasn't following him. He wouldn't look at her. "Don't stay behind, you'll miss!"

She, _again_ , had come to ruin his precious peace.

Only, this time, he was amazed at his huge reaction to it.

 _A fiery_ _kiss_.

* * *

* The monkeys that Don't See, Don't Hear, Don't Speak.

* * *

 **AN: Hi again!**

 _Last chapter was already done, so I started with this._

 _Naoki is kind of possesive in the last part, but even if I don't like it, I had to occur._

 _Well, see you soon!_

 ** _With love, Karo._**


	12. A taste of normalcy

**Chapter 12**

 **A taste of normalcy**

* * *

Hours later after kissing with Kotoko, and calmer after an infusion of tea and a massage, Naoki found himself sitting on a log in the backyard of the resort center, with his eyes closed, waiting for the fire to be light.

This time he knew he owed an apology to Kotoko, without his mother telling him.

She came to disturb, but she was like that, and who spoke and acted reprehensibly was him, led by thoughts out of place, bordered by irritation and he didn't know what else. Kotoko was too innocent in any case. In addition, because he did not know what led him to be altered when with another woman he would not get the same response. Or it was that, at times, he was susceptible and it affected him, and sometimes it didn't.

It wasn't bad that his body had effects thanks to Kotoko, it would be a good addition for the woman who would have his children, someone he found somehow attracting when he met her. However, that was not the right time for him to react that way towards her, nor to realize a sexual act. Though his mind seemed to show interest in it as if he were to fall into that.

There was also the added temperature and the effects it had on the brain.

It didn't matter. He'd do something to apologize for what happened.

He didn't know if it was the soothing linden tea or the mildness of the night, but he wasn't as affected as in the morning or at noon and he could see the matter more calmed. He would apologize and put aside what happened.

"Onii-chan? Do you know where the pond is?" asked his mother and he briefly stiffened, as if she insinuated something. He'd shoot himself if she was eavesdropping. "Kotoko said she would go for a while and has not returned."

It was that.

He nodded and opened his eyes, meeting his worried mother.

"Can you look for her?"

He responded affirmatively with his head and stood, seeing they were about to light the fire.

His mother gave him a flashlight and he took way to the place where hours earlier _happened what he blocked on his mind_ , using the main road and arriving very fast.

He soon found her, lying on the grass watching the sky.

She blinked when he lighted her, turning in his direction and he saw a slight pinkish tone on her face before she looked back to the sky.

"Naoki-kun," she whispered softly.

He walked up to her and Kotoko made him an indication to sit next to her, acting as if the incident in the afternoon hadn't taken place.

He turned off the flashlight and sat down; thinking that being alone could give him the encouragement to apologize.

"I love shining stars," she spoke, pointing to the starry sky, and he curled a slight smile, looking at her concentrated expression in the corner of his eye, before turning his eyes toward the pond.

It would not do well to tell her that in winter its brightness increased, because she seemed happy with the scene she witnessed.

In the water, he began to see glowing dots, apparently fireflies.

"I wish I could see the stars all the time, that's what I don't like about the city," Kotoko whispered. "I have a small memory of a vacation, I don't know where or how old I was, but all I remember about it is how happy I was watching the sky at night, since I saw the first star appearing and a shooting star."

"Did you make a wish?" he asked, knowing the popular belief about the bright meteors.

Kotoko laughed. "Dunno, I guess so."

She again made silence and it was only heard the sound of grilling; Naoki watched the increasing the number of fireflies dancing on water.

Askance, he looked back to Kotoko, who seemed amazed watching the sky full of constellations. If she knew that in a few hours, at dawn, she could see the familiar and easier to locate Orion constellation, being near the end of August, she would stay there until dawn. Of course, she wouldn't find it or give it a different way, he thought quietly, stifling a laugh.

It was nice to see the expression of happiness she had only by looking at the stars, as if in the world there was nothing better. But Kotoko, he knew, could be content with small things.

Or could exaggerate the big things, unless the deeply wounded her.

She enjoyed the simple.

"Kotoko," he called smoothly and she blinked her big hazel eyes focusing them on his face. He held her by the arm, making her incorporate.

She kept her eyes focused on him.

Naoki nodded to the right, where the pond was.

Kotoko looked up and gasped, which made him suppress a smile. "It's beautiful!" announced her excitedly.

A greater number of fireflies moved over the water and made a light show, mingling with the nocturnal atmosphere with the moon.

He felt Kotoko rested his head on his arm and he sighed, saying nothing, allowing her as the apology he would not give, and because she remained silent, giving him the opportunity to appreciate the scene that Lampyridae insects showed to them with the calm of the night.

He would be there for a moment and then he would tell her to return to where the campfire was.

 **[...]**

The last day of the family holidays, they briefly occupied in visiting the Chuzenji Lake and the Kegon waterfalls, traveling in the aerial lift, which gave them a breathtaking view of the landscape of Nikko.

In addition, they spent time in the Tobu World Square theme park, where they appreciated various miniature reproductions of famous architectural works around the world. There, his mother took thousands of pictures posing with different small sculptures, forcing them to delay before shopping for souvenirs and visiting the amusement park representing the Edo culture that tried to reproduce the life of that time.

Kotoko and Yuuki were who most enjoyed those visits, so that, when they got home, they appeared the most in the photos that his mother showed them on Monday night, the day they recovered energy (though his father and Shigeo-san did not have much chance, resting more on the return trip).

Naoki didn't like to find himself in _the perfect picture_ of his mother, where on the bridge with the sunset behind him, were Kotoko and him; she, showing a rosy face and bright eyes, had him looking at her very carefully, giving an illogical impression. He only saw the braids in her hair that bothered him in the arm.

Fast, Wednesday arrived, in which he found himself in his room putting the pieces of the ship, task interrupted by a knock on the door.

He sigh. His mother or Kotoko.

"Kotoko," he whispered. His mother was calm after their holiday and passed her spare time looking at the pictures. "Go ahead," he said aloud.

The door opened and he heard a few slow steps into the bedroom. By the type of breath, he knew he was right.

"Wow! I never thought you could put together so fast, but you're Naoki-kun," Kotoko said, kneeling beside him and putting her face to the table edge, to watch closely the bottle. "I think I could never do it," she muttered, moving closer her head, tucking between in his arms.

He caught the smell of her, a mix of peach shampoo (no strawberry) and something else.

He rolled his eyes and left the tweezers.

"I think that if you put your mind to it, you could do it even if it takes you years," he muttered while putting her away with his hands on her shoulders.

She gave a low laugh.

"Naoki-kun has faith in me!" she exclaimed, bringing hands together on the side of her face, as did his mother, putting dreamy eyes.

Faith in her? What idiocy was that?

"I state one fact," he argued and made Kotoko blink. "What do you want?" he asked, because she hadn't told why she was there.

"What a girlfriend cannot visit her boyfriend to talk?" she asked, pouting her lips.

"Don't go that way," he muttered, returning to his task. They lived together, visiting was _too much_. Moreover, that " _to talk"_ … if she was perfectly happy with her monologues that he even didn't have to respond.

"Why?" Kotoko replied with a confused look, which made him roll his eyes.

"What do you want?" He repeated his question, annoyed.

She crossed her arms.

"Talk."

"Have you finished your homework?" He asked, looking closely at the inside of the bottle.

"Yeah, well, I'm done, but I don't know if they are well, "she replied.

He frowned, holding a mast. "Then that's all? I'll review it later," he said so that she went away at once.

"No. I'm bored."

"And you assume that I should entertain you?" The question left his lips cutting, displeased with the idea. Did she see him like what? A clown?

"Nooo." Kotoko sounded like a whiny child.

"So what are you doing here?"

He heard Kotoko grumble something under her breath. "May I see you finish?" She mused later.

Sighing, Naoki looked at her. "You won't do noise?" She bit her lip doubtfully. "It's impossible," he opined.

Kotoko shrugged.

He left the tweezer with the piece and stood, holding her shoulders to push her towards the exit.

"Go out, I want to finish this today," he said, as she stood in the doorway.

Kotoko looked over her shoulder, with a hopeful expression. "Will you show me?"

"Yes," he answered with a sigh, thankful that she set foot outside the room.

He saw her nod and closed the door, back to his chair.

Seconds later, someone called and he let out an exasperated breath.

"Who is it?" He demanded to find out.

The door opened. "It's me," informed Kotoko almost in a whisper.

"Now what?" He said, after releasing the air contained. Since the situation in the pond in Nikko, he had _truly_ proposed to control himself and had to start answering without outbursts, though she made it very difficult.

He turned to Kotoko with an eyebrow raised at her lack of response. She was sitting on Yuuki's bed in the lotus position, with her elbows on her knees.

He took more than a minute looking at her and she uttered no word.

She put her hands as if to pray. "I won't do any noise, I will remain silent, I promise." She raised her right hand in vow and the left moved as if closing a zipper.

Naoki took a deep breath, exhaled, and nodded.

Turning around to finish what he was doing, he surprised himself having a small smile that faded as quickly as he noticed it.

 **[...]**

Naoki placed shaving foam on the little beard he had grown during the week and looked at the bathroom mirror, his neck stretched to shave the hairs reaching the lower part of his face.

He picked up the manual razor he used with the little hair that grew on his face and placed it in position to start shaving.

The door burst open and Naoki hissed, dropping the razor, feeling the tingle on his skin, resulting from the cut. "Onii-chan!" Cried his mother. "I am sorry! I came for the towels; I didn't know there was someone inside."

He cursed the lack of privacy that he sometimes had, and the exaggeration of his mother. In addition, he wondered why he didn't put the latch.

He clenched his teeth seeing a small line crimson arise among the white foam and he bent to wash the wound and pressed his finger to stop the bleeding.

"Dad and Ai-san are about to leave for their meeting," shared his mother and he nodded. While they weren't at home, they had received a mail invitation to a meeting of alumni of the generation of his father and Shigeo-san. They were excited and easily decided to go, even if they had to take another weekend, this time Saturday and Sunday only. "Go downstairs to say by, they leave in twenty minutes."

He again moved his head agreeing; continuing his ongoing activity after locked the door, thinking that when his mother appeared almost magically Kotoko followed him.

Well, he wasn't fair with that, but his girlfriend would barge as his mother.

He quickly concluded. He wiped his face and left the bathroom holding the towel he was using to take it to the laundry room and place it next to the other. He felt the slight discomfort of cut, but at least it had stopped bleeding.

He descended the stairs and saw his father and Shigeo-san were with their bags packed by the door, embracing affectionately to their family members in the form of farewell.

It seemed as if it were a long separation and not a little two days trip, but just they will be that way.

He walked over and nodded to both adults. "Good trip," he stated without giving many words.

Both expressed their gratitude, and then they changed their shoes. Promptly, the luggage was taken.

"See ya, family!" They shouted in unison and walked out the door, to take the taxi, which was at the entrance of the house.

His mother closed and the phone sounded.

He retired to the laundry room to leave the towel on the machine and press the button to start the cycle.

Returning on his way, intending to go upstairs and retreat to his room, taking advantage of Saturday of no training with Kotoko, he found the shocked faces of her and his mother, although the latter would not describe it as emotional and genuine as his girlfriend.

"Oh, Onii-chan! A tragedy has occurred! My mother's dog is lost and she's inconsolable," his mother said bringing her hands to her chest and he thought that animal, Chibi (which his brother graciously gave its name), must have gone to do his business and took its time return because of its idleness. "I'm afraid she'll get sick with worry."

"Oba-sama," Kotoko whispered, placing a hand on his mother's arm as support.

Naoki could understand the exaltation of his mother, her grandmother loved that dog, whom she had for some little time, and if she thought something was wrong with him, she would not live in peace. Even if he died, he had the impression she would follow him.

"I'll go see her!" Suddenly exclaimed his mother, separating from Kotoko. "I have to help her find him!" She used like excuse.

"Find who?" Yuuki asked, coming out of the kitchen with a cookie in hand.

" Chibi," his mother said, going to hold him by the wrist. "You must come with me."

Yuuki stopped with the cookie on its way to his mouth.

"He got lost?" he asked with a sorrowful tone.

"Yes, we have to go with grandma. Let's pack." With her instruction, she headed for the stairs, with a solicitous Yuuki, who was trying to bring cookie into his mouth, without success.

Naoki narrowed his eyes, not liking the slight suspicion that peeked his head. With the large number of people in his mother's family house, it seemed silly to go just for fetching an animal. Clearly, she intended to leave them alone.

Kotoko pushed him toward the stairs. "Go to pack, Naoki-kun."

His mother stopped in the middle of the stairs and released Yuuki, who finally could eat his cookie. She waved her hands. "Oh no!" She rejected it with a gesture. It looked like she had forgotten the concern she had in mind.

 _Sure_ , believed Naoki sarcastically, he knew what she was doing.

"Someone has to look after the house," she said. And he didn't know whether Kotoko came to reach an understanding that last week was unoccupied. "The clothes are in the washer," she added.

"I'll stay, oba-sama, it is also the grandmother of Naoki-kun, he should be there," his girlfriend replied.

 _Oh, she was so innocent_.

"No, no." His mother shook her head as if that were unthinkable. He thought, briefly, that at their return they could find the site burned. _She attracted misfortunes_. "A nice young lady cannot stay alone, it's dangerous. You and onii-chan will stay to look after the house; he will keep you company and take care of you."

To the last, he could agree; Kotoko was not able to take care of the whole house.

However, the look that his mother to his girlfriend, who tilted her head with a confused face was irritating. Also incredible, but at that point, the woman who gave him life didn't surprise him.

His eyelid twitched.

She hinted what they could do alone at home. And he, being angry with what he proposed his mother, who had flown upstairs, would have worried about having to share a roof with Kotoko, without the company of adults, taking into account the results that had happened in their past meetings and how foolish turned his body to being controlled.

It seemed insulting that his mother would meddle in his life that way.

Although, it was funny to think of Kotoko _trying to seduce him_. If he thought she had that mentality, beyond her air head. She was too naïve for that, and he was circumspect, even he was surprised that his thoughts—and acts—lately were directed towards such issues when his girlfriend's behavior was all innocence.

Very fast, as if his mother had listed the bag before—what was very probably—, she descended the stairs, with Yuuki behind, carrying a bag on his back, dressed to go out.

"You're very quick when you try, oba-sama," Kotoko said and Naoki felt he could be face to face against the ground.

With her, credulity knew no bounds. It was impossible not to smell something fishy in all that; but, well, he could read beyond his mother schemes and knew her longer, and Kotoko was not very perceptive.

"I saved things in the suitcase very fast, is a good thing I had it out for last weekend," said his mother, and Kotoko and he followed with Yuuki to the front door, forcing them to say goodbye for the second time on day. "I'll call Dad; you don't have to bother if you're busy." Naoki pressed his lips into a line. His mother coughed. "Or if you are going out."

Of course, her hopes revolved around that first one.

"Don't worry oba-sama. Concentrate on helping your okaa-san," Kotoko whispered with a smile of kindness.

"Kotoko-chan, you're the best!" His mother cried, hugging her. "I'll try to call to tell you when we find Chibi and say when we return. Should not be beyond Sunday, Yuuki has school."

Naoki rolled his eyes, as if she cared that much of it at the time.

"See you!" He dismissed his mother before leaving the house with Yuuki.

"I hope your obaa-san and Chibi are well," Kotoko murmured after closing the door.

"I'm sure they are," he said with a hint of sarcasm.

His girlfriend looked at him with bright eyes.

"Yey! Always positive!" She said with a hand up and he almost slapped her on the forehead.

But, why did he bother? That was Kotoko.

"Have you improved in the kitchen?" he asked, going to the practical things.

Kotoko wrinkled her mouth. "Oba-sama says that rice tastes better."

He thought about calling for food, but two days were not a considerable option. Perhaps the next day.

He didn't have great activities in the afternoon, and he wanted something edible, so he'd use one of the books of his mother.

"At five we'll prepare dinner," he announced to Kotoko and went upstairs. "Don't forget what is in the washing machine."

He heard her scream a yes from the lower floor.

 **[...]**

Almost to the quoted time with Kotoko in the kitchen, the house was very quiet and strange for Naoki, being aware of her presence there. Would she have gone out without saying anything? Or, worse, something would have happened because of her clumsiness?

Either potential had problems involved, whether it was not knowing if she would eat at home… or she had an accident.

Naoki wondered what he was still doing in his room and stood, if it could be the latter.

He left his room and went to the door of Kotoko, to whom he called softly. Seconds later, with no response, he opened.

The bedroom was empty. A site less.

Before going down, he repeated the action in the bathroom and got the same result.

On the lower level, he didn't find her in the living room, the kitchen or the laundry room, and there was no note nor he had received notification on his mobile phone, and she would have gone to tell him personally—one of her excuses to see him.

As a last resort was the back of the house and he went there.

When he opened, his face was hit with the warm air and the sound of the singing voice of Kotoko.

Well, dinner for two, problem solved.

"Oba-sama forgot to water them in the morning and the heat is intense, we must take care of them or they'd die," said Kotoko, who was facing away from him, next to his mother's flowers, that she was watering.

"You should protect yourself from the sun," he recommended aloud and she turned with a smile.

"Naoki-kun. Yes! But I'm almost done." He saw her putting a hand on her forehead to cover her eyes from the sun. "Already five o'clock?"

"It is close," he said turning away. "Don't overexposure to the sun."

"I'll enter soon," she answered and he went inside, to the kitchen.

Being there, he opened a drawer and, randomly, he pulled out one of the books of his mother; as far as he knew, the ones at hand were used with Kotoko, the simplest recipes.

He hadn't cooked in his life, but it shouldn't be difficult to follow instructions.

Seeing that the beef was defrosted, he sought to prepare a recipe with a sweet and sour flavor, accompanied by vegetables and rice.

After finishing his reading, he heard Kotoko into the kitchen. He handed her the recipe book, then put on an apron.

"That will do," he said and took action to get the ingredients and start preparing.

While she had time to read, he enlisted the meat for cooking, marinating, and started cutting vegetables.

"Start with the rice," he instructed her, when he saw her eyes on him, shining with wonder. "And do not be distracted."

"Yes," she whispered, shaking her head.

Naoki kept his focus on what he was doing, following the instructions to the letter, stewing meat and tending the vegetables cook well.

"You're very good at this. Did you cook often?" Noted his girlfriend. He denied, giving a brief look at her rice, emitting a sound.

"It is the first time I do it."

"Wow! Again you prove you're a genius." He snorted. Continually she told him that.

"You just must follow the instructions," he replied, as if nothing. "Check the rice; it sounds as if sticking to the pot."

Kotoko nodded and he made him a space at the stove, as he was doing several times.

At that rate, time later, the food was ready, and they found themselves at the table.

"It looks like the book," Kotoko said with an astonished voice, before trying what he did. "And it tastes delicious."

He just ate quietly. While eating rice he realized that she had made notable improvements than the first time he tasted something of hers, although portions were more fried and salt was missing.

"It looks like…" He looked to hear her and raised an eyebrow, but she blushed "Nothing. I'll do the dishes."

He shrugged and continued eating.

 **[...]**

Unable to sleep, Naoki was with his eyes closed in bed, having what others might call mind blank. He waited for sleep to come, relaxing the body.

Only rarely had had difficulty falling asleep, and it was from the change in his life that he could not.

He felt concern, perhaps.

He was dozing when he heard a noise in the room. He tensed at the unintelligible murmur of Kotoko, who walked in the bedroom. He looked through the cracks of his eyes and caught the lighting of a lantern in the hand of his girlfriend, dressed in pajamas, who was walking near the bookcase.

He was curious about what she wanted.

If he had not reviewed the homework of Kotoko, he would have assumed she was after his notes, but he could not think what could he have that she wanted and had to sneak into his bedroom.

She met Yuuki's diary and began to watch him, illuminating their pages.

"That boy," she muttered and he saw her looking for something with one hand while still leafing through with the other. "Oh, I cannot, in the end, is not so bad," she resolved. "Though… I could leave you my opinion and my signature."

"What are you doing here?" he asked before he put a shameful note full of misspellings, ruining the impeccable work of his brother.

"Hey, Naoki-kun! I woke you up!" Kotoko said, starting to shake. The lantern fell and he stood.

"With what permission you get in?"

"Heh, heh," she blurted.

"And what you intended?" he asked, approaching her to within a foot away, overlooking half her face in the gloom.

"I came… uh, no… It is… to… you…" she stammered.

Naoki leaned his face, amused by her nervousness. "What are you looking for?"

"You… uh… me."

He put his face to her neck and she tilted her head. It him his squarely the smell of her hair, without touching it. He was in control the whole time with the image of his mother waiting for exactly a scene like that... He wouldn't give her satisfaction. "For me?" he asked, quietly. "What did you have in mind?"

He grabbed her arm and she fell on the bed, under his body, staying over her without making contact between the two.

"Perhaps it was this?" he whispered, seeing in the gloom how her orbs increased their size, while she swallowed.

 _The image of his mother was present in his consciousness._

Kotoko lips parted. "Yes?" he asked, before clenching when she moistened the lower one with her tongue and then bitted it. He should put an end that stupid game, which could betray him and even the thoughts of his mother wouldn't serve him to stop, having her so ready. With his way of thinking and acting in recent times, it was dangerous. "What exactly did you come?"

"I... uh… not to do this…" she whispered. "But I'm not sure… now… you and I… they say _it_ hur… Uh… What are you thinking?"

Naoki turned away, starting to laugh as ever, funny, comfortable to know that she could have that kind of thinking, even being really innocent. It was a relief that he wasn't the one in he place, with a shamed face and conscience to take things to another level.

"I…" Kotoko lowered her sight, entertaining him the knowledge of how she felt.

The prior times certainly were worthy of that moment. He could finally see with amusement how he reacted and consider it as a natural fact. It could be normal for someone his age and he had been really affected.

His laughter subsided and he looked at Kotoko. Because of her, in certain moments, he had experienced _being a normal teenager_. And, far from bothering him, he felt it like a discovery. _A new experience._

"What are you doing here, Kotoko?" He asked without animosity.

"I was looking my love letter to make an album that I was going to teach later," she confessed and he sighed.

She would always be a romantic.

He got up from the bed and went to a thick folder on the bookcase, where he kept diplomas and papers they gave him; a premonition told him that he should save the letter.

He found it in its protected paper and extracted it, giving it to her.

She accepted it with a smile, already standing. Then she pointed to the folder.

"May I see what's inside?"

He shrugged.

"Take it back later and not the spill anything on it," he requested and she hugged it to her chest.

"Good night, Naoki-kun," she whispered her near to the door.

"Good night, Kotoko."

* * *

 **AN:** _Poor Naoki. Kotoko is doing her work on his heart ha,ha._

 **Love, Karo**

* * *

Guest1: Ha,ha, you'll have to guess, Kotoko's POV will remain in darkness. Yes, Naoki is falling for her and he don't notice it. We're close to that. Thanks for the comment.

Guest2: He, he, right now they won't go further, wait for it in the future :D - There will be more jealousy from him and you'll enjoy it ha,ha. I like when he loses his character. Thanks for r&r.

Guest3: Yeah. I know how it feels when a story its unfinished, but this will have its end published. I have 24 chapters to do in what's left of the year ha,ha. I appreciate your opinion, thanks.


	13. She's like that

**Chapter 13**

 **She's like that**

* * *

The first Saturday after returning to school, Kotoko and he resumed their practices tennis, and she had spent the first part of the exercise complaining about the physical activity she didn't do in three weeks. Naoki just rolled his eyes, admired that there was any difference in her physical condition, the practices weren't months apart.

"That's okay," he told her, concluding his own warming up around the court. "Take the racket and let's practice."

Kotoko nodded and went to pick up her white racket.

He took a couple of balls of the ten they had, introducing them to the pocket of his shorts, and grabbed another, which he bounced as he went to his post on his side of the court.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded. "Eyes on the ball, I must not run away from the ball, I try to hit the ball, I don't have to put the racket in front of my face!" She shouted her mantra, with instructions that he gave him from the beginning and she repeated every Saturday, without fail, before they "played" a game.

He was surprised that she knew it by heart, but he supposed that repetition had helped her to memorize it, as he read in a book. How other people memorize things was a mystery to his own mind.

"I'm ready!" she announced her moving her racket in the air, from right to left.

He watched the ball in his hand and cocked his head sideways to watch her, he hunched before releasing the ball and bend to hit it. He lowered his hand, as usual, standing still, looking in his pocket for another ball.

…and he raised his eyes when he heard the impact of the racket against an object, blinking astonished to see that the ball returned to his side. Surprised, he was unable to answer the service.

"I did it! I hit it! Did you see it, Naoki-kun?! I hit the ball! I made it!" She celebrated, while he kept his eyes on the ball bouncing on his side of the court.

He brought his eyes to Kotoko, who did a dance of victory really derisory, but he smiled ironically, accustomed to her strange ways.

"Let's do it again!" He exclaimed, causing her to stop her dancing, without changing her excited face.

Good spirits didn't fade even if she was unable to repeat her feat. However, it wasn't Kotoko if she didn't throw a party of a small thing and failed countless times.

 **[...]**

"¡Oba-sama! I did it!" cried Kotoko when they arrived home, changing her sneakers excited, to run into another room.

Naoki heard the blow when she skated on the floor because of the socks.

"¡Kotoko-chan!" Yelled his mother going out of the kitchen with a spoon in hand.

Rolling his eyes, he calmly placed his slippers and picked up the ones of Kotoko (with rabbit ears).

He walked over to where his mother first helped his girlfriend, who was rubbing her elbow with a frown, and dropped the pair of slippers next to her.

He took a moment to look askance if it was only one affected elbow and then turned to go to his room, rolling his eyes in his mind.

"I'm fine!" Kotoko announced with an animated voice. While going upstairs, he saw that she stood and put her slippers quickly. "I did it! Oba-sama!"

Naoki found himself faced with his brother near the end of the ladder. He stepped aside and let him down; he noticed that Yuuki had a curious expression on his face; he must have been attracted by Kotoko, not by her fall, but by her words.

"I hit the ball in tennis and returned it to Naoki-kun!" Kotoko yelled and both women squealed, which caused a chill in the spinal column of Naoki.

"I'm very happy for you, Kotoko-chan!" Said his mother, and he imagined them hugging each other, as he headed to his bedroom. "Did you play a game?"

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

"Well, I just hit it once," Kotoko admitted. "But I can improve!"

"You've been practicing more than three months, silly!" cried his brother, taunting her. Naoki grinned, listening. "Only you're glad for hitting the ball once!

Unquestionably, though he thought that she did not care, and if she was serious about improving, _perhaps_ —he didn't think it was a matter of skill, not constancy —she could improve her performance in tennis; _it was something of her_ , who persevered even with the odds against her.

It frustrated him, to some extent, because she opposed the possibilities and got to demonstrate what seemed impossible, within the scope of her capabilities. Not that she could do everything, but if she wanted to and struggled to get it, she did whatever was at a level able to surprise others, if you thought she was clumsy and her skills were more inclined below the average.

Just by surprising him, it was more than enough to denote that she get others to admire her her small but significant achievements. That's what made her persistence.

He opened the door of his room, came in and closed it behind him.

 _Although she had an extreme happiness to achieve a goal and seemed to enjoy that_ , he thought with a sigh. Kotoko was different from him on it, among other things. He did not know what was truly being ebullient about something, everything became so monotonous, and he saw no emotion in what he could do.

However, even if he didn't enjoy enormously, due to her, his current days were far away from the routine and he saw new things that had not been there before.

He missed the calm but it was becoming acceptable to live like that.

No one wouldn't listen him say it aloud, that's for sure.

 _Who knew he'd see the day that an irremediable rookie would hit the ball?_

He turned his eyes to the ship at the top of his bookcase and gave it a thoughtful look. He felt affected by a strange feeling that came inside him every time it crossed his vision (the gift that he associated with _her_ ). Kotoko had given him a huge compliment when see it finished and celebrated the opportunity to have something so amazing before her, completed in the course of a few days. Admired, she filled with annoying praise for the virtuous he was.

It was bothersome all that flattery from her part, _though_...

The calendar on his desk caught his eye. They were in September.

The sense of reciprocity made him have to find something to give her on her birthday. He was not so sure; he could let his mother get any article and give it to her in his name. However, he also thought she would bother him if he dared not give Kotoko something for her birthday, when she had shown great effort buying him a gift that was to his liking, without much apparent reason (according to her, being a smart boyfriend, help her studying did not count).

He sighed.

Maybe he'd put up with complaints from his mother and not cared about Kotoko's birthday.

"Annoying," he whispered taking his place at the desk, opening upon him the book of political philosophy he did not want to read.

 **[...]**

Naoki rolled his eyes upon hearing the characteristic three calls at the door from Kotoko. He had already found a way to differentiate them from her mother, who gave to knocks to the door, if she didn't open without knocking in a clear sign of privacy violation.

He wondered what would Kotoko want that time. Being Sunday, the only day he rested long hours from her company, he worried she could think any little thing just to be there.

He felt so tempted to deny entry to follow in his reading, but thought that, with her persistence, she would insist at different times of day depending on what needs she had.

"Come in," he indicated monotonously, looking away from Montesquieu lines to look at the redhead who entered his room, because the book needed more attention and she wouldn't let him had it.

He watched as she entered, carrying a bunch of sheets, or between them he had a book, by the thickness of what was in her hands.

"Do you have time?" she asked with a smile, he looked at her with a frown.

Naturally, he had no time to do anything she wanted.

"For what?" He found himself responding, with emphasis placed on what she brought with her. He said it was better to settle once what motivated her meddling.

Her smile widened and he saw her getting Yuuki's chair, putting it at his side and sitting with the papers without departing them from her chest.

He had not asked her to stay and settle, he thought with disgust, sighing.

"In six months we will graduate and I said I'd help you find what you can study at university," she announced carefully placing her burden on his desk and her words dropped on him like a bombshell, causing him to swallow by seeing the enthusiasm that she reflected.

 _That girl_.

Kotoko led him into a sensation that he failed to describe thanks to what she had said and the interest she showed in helping him. _She was_ …

He cleared his throat. "Don't you have to think about yours?" he asked, as a way to get her out and take away the discomfort caused by her actions. He did not like it. If not irritation, it was how uncomfortable it made him feel.

Stopping looking at the sheet in front of her, her eyes narrowed and lips pouting, Kotoko dedicated her glowing orbs to him, before lowering her head and starting playing with her hands in nervous attitude.

"I started thinking, after borrowing your book," she said in slow tone, he wrinkled his brow, intrigued.

"Which?"

Kotoko reached for the stack of papers she left on her desk and he saw, as she pulled a well-known book, how the thickness decreased. She showed him the book cover of the counseling schoolbook he had forgotten. "This one."

Naoki watched it, he had not even realized that he didn't have it. Giving a surreptitious glance at the bookseller, in the space where it should be, he wondered when he had not taken notice of the slight incline in the books accommodated on that shelf.

He shrugged; it was not a monumental doubt.

"I read it, I started when you got sick, because I wanted to help you find what you could study at university," Kotoko explained. "...after seeing all that could be studied or done, I felt interested in social work," she whispered the end in a low volume, before lifting her face, brighter than before, which gave him the precision she had her mind on it. "I have to study to get the degree, which takes three years to get and gain national accreditation, but... I like it… and looked for its practice, and I want to do it... And Tonan, the university linked to the school, is one of the few places where there is a department," she said with great emotion that made her stop breathing to share her ideas. "What do you think?" she questioned at the end, biting her lower lip.

He thought a moment—trying that the envy didn't consume him—, and watched her silently as she looked at him expectantly. Kotoko, working for social welfare, contacting persons that required support or assistance, interacting with people of different ages, children being abused or homeless, or people abused, troubled, handicapped, or unemployed people or young in precarious conditions. With her persistence, sensitivity, and concern for others, it could work. If even she saw him as a beneficial cause.

"I think it's okay," he said and she smiled, nodding with crimson cheeks.

Kotoko had solved this concern, much faster and easier than he had.

"Now I can help you!" She expressed it in a very praiseworthy way.

He snorted with his nose.

She leaned over the book he was reading. "The Spirit of the Laws," She pronounced aloud, and looked at the book in bewilderment. He was amused. "…Laws. Have you been reading to find out?"

He sighed and did no more than nod, without clarifying that it was a political book.

 _But it didn't serve._ He hadn't reached an answer that pleased him. He was taking random books in the library and at home, he looked if the matter could be of great interest, but had not reached more than typical interest to know.

Perhaps someone external giving its opinion could be helpful.

Kotoko shrugged.

"I have a list." She indicated with her index finger the beginning of her paper sheet and he took it. In alphabetical order, there were listed careers that someone could study at universities, junior colleges, colleges of technology and special training schools and community colleges.

She had taken it seriously.

"Naoki-kun. Can we use your laptop?" she asked, indicating it with her finger.

He had to put aside the book, which he would leave for another time, and took his laptop. He opened it and wrote his password, then put it in the middle of the desk.

"Your password is... really long," Kotoko whispered; he looked at her, her eyes were open wide. "How many numbers?"

"Sixteen characters," he said, without giving much importance. "It wouldn't be useful to get them, I change them every week," he warned and his lopsided grin was full of sarcasm, seeing her swallow and nod.

"Genius," she whispered and he saw her press the Browser icon. "Let us see," she said aloud, putting the sheet in front of her that he deposited again on the desktop after reading. "First on the list is..."

"What do you intend to do?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, it's no big deal ... heh, heh," she admitted with a little laugh, "but I will write the career and read what it says and what you need to be… and you'll say if you are interested, or I think if you can be it if you don't imagine it."

That was not far from what he did, nor was novel, but he said nothing because there was a chance she'd find some plausible option.

"It'll take time to read all," Kotoko told him, offering a pained smile. _Like if it bothered her_. "But we'll find what Naoki-kun will do in the future!"

"A lot of enthusiasm," he muttered, rolling his eyes, while recognizing for himself what she was doing.

"Accountant," she said and started typing, very slowly. Key by key with one finger.

Ridiculous.

"Use all your fingers," he ordered and took both her hands to position them in the right way on the keyboard. "Like this," he instructed, looking annoyed when she wanted to continue the way she did before. "You need to learn to write in a computer," he stated, getting his hands away from her.

Kotoko laughed softly. "Yeah, well... there's no need to be so demanding," she said in the same tone.

"In college you will require it," he argued; and without giving her a chance to reply, he said, "Finish."

She nodded and he watched her trying to write the way he put her hands, taking a little of time, but getting it.

"Accountant," she began to read it after opening a web page, "in this career..."

Naoki half listened to her reading, watching her concentrated on the screen. He was paying attention to her words, but his mind was on anything else, especially _her_.

He felt remorse of thinking she was only going to annoy, when considering the great time she was thinking of helping him. Kotoko behaved in a very peculiar way with him, which made him feel uncomfortable if he thought how he was to her.

Maybe he was not one prone to consideration to others, but he had to admit that Kotoko, of all people, acted toward him with great esteem and, in response, he gave no sign of respect, although some of his attitudes made them without thinking and because it did not seem hurtful at all for him. After what happened in Nikko, he had thought not to be as straightforward and sharp, just had not really done it, thinking about all the time since them.

He had to try, harder. It was not easy, he was used to dealing with others in a condescending manner, the negative type… now he only had to take into account that Kotoko should be in a higher regard than others, because she proved not to be in their level and she did more than they did to deserve it.

He stifled a sigh. In theory and in thoughts it was simpler than in practice. Nevertheless, it was difficult to change a habit of life and Kotoko was something that made it more difficult, if he thought deeply. With others, when he tried to do it, there wasn't _a kind of_ barrier that blocked the coherent thinking to control his words and acts; with her, his mind wasn't completely controlled. But he would be.

He closed his eyes for a moment, concentrated on listening to Kotoko, and even in moments he entertained with the illusions she had on him and the profession; she shook her head as if she wasn't convinced.

He thought she had a path to take... and he...

He clenched his jaw. He felt... _frustrated_... Was there something _special_ for him? That interested him… enthused him? Would he understand what it was to dream?

She had it easy.

 **[...]**

Walking in the morning with Kotoko, on Wednesday, two days before her birthday, Naoki reconsidering getting her a gift for the day, while listening to her babbling about careers that until then they had "discussed" as their direction in life.

She took many troubles for him, and he could, during that afternoon, do something about it and give her a present into consideration, at least thinking it was her birthday before entering college. In addition, because he felt indebted to her for what she was doing, though it was intruding on his life and he didn't understand why he didn't seem fastidious. It was clear that she loved to help, and that being his girlfriend and holding him on a pedestal, as expected of her, but he didn't see why her interference didn't fall within the annoying category that was her company.

That's why he didn't want a girlfriend in that or another time, or why he maintained interpersonal exchanges with others at a low level; being involved with someone close had such consequences: the analyze of himself and take into account how they interacted, as other things.

He was also limited in his interaction with others because many of the people surrounding him didn't have his ability, as his girlfriend, and brought him to irksome moments (indeed, he didn't like stupid people).

Although, with her, he was breaking that pattern and he was asking much of himself when he could not keep his head focused on other issues. For some time now, that had increased.

To that and other things had forced him the presence of Kotoko in his life.

"In the afternoon don't wait for me," he said, taking advantage when she stopped talking to take a breath. He'd use that day to visit a store and buy something for her birthday.

"Why?" Kotoko asked, looking at him with a curious expression, ignoring the way.

"It's not your concern," he whispered, out of habit. Seconds later, he sighed. "I have something to do," he added, laconically.

She nodded and he saw her stumbling with her feet, automatically, he grabbed her arm when he saw she was going to fall.

"How many times do I have to tell you to look the way?" He inquired with an exhalation; he hated repeat itself, but it was useless. She lowered her head and shoulders. "In the afternoon, do it," he requested with a quiet voice, pushing her back so they hurry to enter the station, in order not to waste transport.

"Yes, Naoki-kun," she said smiling and walking towards the turnstiles to the arrival of the metro platforms.

He put his card and pushed the turnstile to move to the other side, seeing on the screen the four minutes before the arrival of their train.

He heard behind the whistle refusing the access. "Naoki-kun, go ahead," Kotoko told him and he looked over his shoulder; she muttered things against her card and the due date.

"Buy a normal pass and hurry up, there are three minutes left," he muttered, urging her to the head machines.

 _Every day it was something different with her_.

When she had entered, Naoki took her arm to move fast to the platform, because transportation was coming and the next came fifteen minutes later. Also, the station was starting to fill and it would be easy for her to get lost or fall and stay below the crowd… that would be troublesome.

"Come on," he said when they reached the platform and the subway doors were about to close.

He recovered the air as they settled and then wondered why he bothered with her; she was not worth the trouble.

It was true; it was becoming a habit… and an atrocious one, if asked.

"Thank you, Naoki-kun," she whispered, pressing her head to his chest for a moment before turning to hold herself properly.

He gave an exhalation.

"Don't kill yourself in the afternoon, silly," he advised, pulling a book of Indian poetry out from his briefcase.

 **[...]**

"Happy birthday, Kotoko-chan!"

Naoki, adjusting his red tie, watched with a smile how Yuuki jumped on the bed, thanks to the roar that made their mother in the room across the hall.

His brother groaned and got out of bed, going to the dresser for his belongings and prepare to go to school.

"A great Friday," muttered his brother going out of the room, almost dragging his feet.

After combing, Naoki closed the closet door that had a mirror and picked up his briefcase on his desk to go down to breakfast.

While leaving his bedroom, he found Kotoko, who smiled happily. To his surprise, she was completely ready in her uniform, even styling her hair with a high ponytail.

"Morning, Naoki-kun!" greeted Kotoko waving her hand with good spirits.

He looked at his face and nodded. "Good morning. Happy Birthday, Kotoko," he said affably and allowed her to proceed ahead, looking she didn't give any missteps with her excitement and stumble.

On the ground floor, Shigeo-san appeared and smiled at her daughter, giving her a greeting with a hug, joining them on the way to the dining table.

There, his mother left the kitchen with a big smile. "Today is a special day Kotoko-chan and Ai-san and I have cooked your favorite breakfast, because she likes sweet things and loves the food of his father: pancakes and an omelet," she announced happily putting the two plates in the place of his girlfriend, with the dorayaki and tamagoyaki that she had just revealed.

Kotoko clapped and took her seat with her smile shining.

"Thanks, otou-san, oba-sama, they make me very happy!" She exclaimed and his mother hugged her shoulders before going to the kitchen, returning with the food of others.

Kotoko thanked for her food with great emotion before eating, unmolested.

Naoki rolled his eyes and sat quietly at the table, like Shigeo-san.

"Happy birthday, Kotoko-chan," said his father when he enter the kitchen and the aforementioned nodded mouthful before swallowing.

"Thanks, Oji-san."

His father also took his place and his mother went to put the dishes to the table with omelet for everyone, although not dorayaki. Naoki thanked her, because he was not a fan of sweet, as opposed to his girlfriend.

She coughed at that time, reaching for his tea.

"Not so fast, Kotoko," Shigeo-san suggested with a smile, getting a nod from his daughter.

Naoki winced looking away from her and thanked for his food, when Yuuki made its appearance in the dining room ready for school.

He said good morning to everyone and sat in his chair, proceeding to start his food after thanking in a whisper.

His father cleared his throat with a cough. Naoki suppressed a smile, seeing that Kotoko looked attentive to his brother, bouncing in her seat, waiting for his congratulations.

However, his brother continued to eat oblivious to the attempts of his father.

His mother took her place and began eating too, although she must have realized what was happening because she turned her eyes to Yuuki.

Naoki just finished his breakfast with his interest in the events. "Yuuki, did you congratulated Kotoko onee-san for her birthday?" asked his mother.

His brother shrugged, but he saw him pressing his lips to stifle a laugh, secure in the knowledge that it caused frustration in _his sister_.

"Bon appetite," Naoki said and rose from his seat, without much ceremony. Kotoko followed suit and wished all a fruitful day, as she always did.

His mother winked at him as he walked to the exit. More than a week ago, she had come to ask him if he would do something special for Kotoko in a surprise party. When he answered not to expect him to do some demonstration at the event, she said he better did something with her that day or he'd regret it, because she wouldn't throw a party if he would not participate. _That she better saved her efforts for a more important party in the future._

 _He bet_ it _was a wedding._

Two days ago, he had told her she won and that she had to postpone her early dinner celebration; she had understood without explanation. Only the warning that he could change the plans for that day if he saw her had to reduce her attempts to follow them after leaving school.

He was only going to invite her an ice cream and take a walk, she didn't need to exaggerate; his goal was to present her with a gift without being at home.

"Happy birthday, Kotoko," pronounced in a loud and friendly voice his brother when she was going out, making her go back to the table.

Yuuki had said her name without animosity, noted Naoki, and it seemed that it was easier for his brother to put aside his normal behavior that day. _Or, really, it was clear that Yuuki was different from him._

Kotoko, with her usual effusiveness, embraced his brother in her arms and gave him a big hug. The rest of the table laughed at the many complaints of Yuuki, although he left her to hold him.

Naoki shook his head… _that was Kotoko_.

* * *

 **AN:** **I don't know how many "annoying, troublesome, bothersome,...", I've read until now.**

 _So, the chapter's name was kind of different in Spanish, but it makes sense here. Also, for those who read/translate the other one, I changed the first career on the list, as Accountant comes before Attorney/Lawyer, the career I used in the original. Thankfully, it doesn't change the text, though it'll be different in the future. It's my story and I do my corrections ha,ha._

Thanks for reading!

 ** _With love, Karo._**

* * *

Guest: Ha,ha, weeeell, you have to wait for that. It'd have been interesting, but not good for their relationship, he'd have changed because of sexual really early ;)

Sydney: Oh! I read your comment in the other fic. So, Sydney? Wow, that's really far from Mexico ha,ha. It's nice to know you read from there. Also, I'm happy you can enjoy this fic in your language, even though this has some mistakes. Thanks for reading, and hope you're doing well too. See you :D


	14. It's good to know

**Chapter 14**

 **Is good to know**

* * *

The school day ended and Naoki awaited the arrival of Kotoko at the gate, a little impatient because she was fifteen minutes late, as nothing bothered him more that day than wasting time, not to mention that the delay would affect their journey.

He had been reading for a while, but having to do with the warmth of early autumn wasn't very nice.

He wondered what would be delaying her, it couldn't be any school subject, because since he was her tutor, she said some school activities were easier and she finished them in time. He didn't imagine what good thing Class F could have to delay the departure of students.

"Naoki-kun!" He heard Kotoko and looked for her. She was coming down the fifteen steps in the main entrance stairs, which he counted one by one until her feet touched solid ground, without failing.

He stood up from the bench where he was and waited for her to come to him, calming her breathing after the race.

"I'm sorry, Jinko and Satomi... bought some muffins for my birthday... and I stayed with them for a few minutes..." She apologized gasping, and he wondered why she didn't have the condition to run if she did exercise weekly. Perhaps her fondness for eating.

He nodded to the irrelevant explanation. "Yes, I see the breadcrumbs." He watched the corner of her upper lip, which had traces of bread that she took off quickly, shaking her mouth with her left hand.

He snorted for her exaggeration, though he hid his snicker to her embarrassment blush.

He started walking to the subway station, with her beside him hopping from one foot to another, raising her hands alternately. Something so typical of her that he no longer rolled his eyes as he would other times.

Both entered and passed the turnstiles, but he took the path of another subway line and she came along without realizing it, following the lines of the floor.

"Naoki-kun! This is not the platform," she said wide-eyed when the subway was coming; the car was full because that line connected the center of the city, and it was a rush hour.

He smiled ironically and nodded, pushing her to the car when a few passengers got out, moving her like a little puppet, for her lightness.

"Naoki-kun?" she asked when he moved her to a corner where they couldn't be bothered by the crowd. Also, because he hated being so close to people.

At least, they weren't pushed to fit, as they would be elsewhere.

Transport gave a curve and the weight of the people fell on his back, making him press his palm against the wall of the car, so he didn't crush Kotoko, who groaned anyway after being squeezed slightly.

"Why do we use this way?" she questioned him, squeezing her school bag to her chest.

"Let to the center," he said, gritting his teeth as he realized that at that next station more people would go inside than outside. In those minutes of her delay, they could have saved that trouble.

The doors opened and someone pushed him, and he pressed his body against Kotoko unable to stop himself.

That was very uncomfortable.

"Where are we doing?" asked his girlfriend back to attack with her questions, when the subway went forward again.

He could answer that 'for her gift', but she would insist and be careless all the time, which would be more dangerous if they were going to a crowded place.

"There's something we're going to do," he said flatly, without further ado.

He lowered his head and saw her making pouty lips, not satisfied. He pressed his lips trying not to smile at the look on her face… changing them irritated by noting what he was going to do and where. He knew Kotoko was dying to go on the matter, but she would not bother seeing the face that he should have; only this time it wasn't for her questions, but the overcrowding. He preferred to arrive more than an hour in advance, to be in these circumstances.

He felt an elbow down on his side and shifted, grateful to hear that the next stop was where they would go out.

"Don't stay you back," he gestured to her, preparing to leave with the crowd.

Naoki sighed as they left the car and looked sideways to his girlfriend, a few steps from him, surrounded by people who moved her aside for hindering while trying to find him. He sighed shaking his head. She was so tiny she was lost among men in suits or people coming and going.

He directed his steps toward her and grabbed her wrist. "Do not!" she exclaimed without looking.

"Come on," he said rolling his eyes.

"Naoki-kun," said Kotoko happily.

He pulled her to the exit, where he let go of her arm. He took the common stairs, less crowded than the electric ones, and made her a sign to do the same, which caused a grimace of her lips and a snort from him.

Quickly they reached the main street.

"Where are we going?" she asked, though he stayed in his inscrutability, just checking she continue beside him, taking her arm as she walked away. "Naoki-kun? Oba-sama ordered something?"

Naoki denied repressing a laugh and saw the ice cream parlor faster than he expected.

He stopped Kotoko and signaled the entrance of the place, which she entered with a frown, following him to the counter.

"What do you want?" he asked, eyes on her, whose hazel orbs lit up.

"You bring me for an ice cream, don't ya?" Kotoko mused with a smile. "For my birthday?"

Naoki sighed and nodded her away when she hugged him very effusively.

"What are you going to ask?" He muttered. Kotoko brought her fingers to her chin, as indecisive.

"With melon on top," she said after a few minutes. "And you?"

"Lemon sorbet," he told her unemotionally, after making the request to the manager.

"Why so sour?" she asked, pressing her lips. "It's true, you do not like sweets," she answered, letting out a chuckle. "This is the best birthday ever." He watched her dancing in her place dreaming awake and ignored her, while their ice creams were being prepared.

Sometimes it gave him chills to think what kind of stuff she dreamed, that could include him, by the very idea that she would try to bring them to reality; it would be awful... more if she allied with his mother.

He received both ice cream and handed hers to her, after she shook her head to stop daydreaming. They took a table in the corner of the place to eat what they ordered.

Both were silent. He was eating slowly without doing anything, and she was taking the spoon to her mouth making different gestures each time she ate her ice cream. It was a funny thing to see, she was like a little girl eating a candy, at least a common one, because his brother never did things like that, although some of his behaviors were of his age.

Kotoko looked at him from time to time with her head down and giggling, beginning to irritate him, but he had to refrain from his reactions, at least that day. And the next he'd certainly vent in their practice.

Naoki finished his sorbet and leaned over the table, resting his elbows to approach her, clenching his teeth for what he would ask.

He had thought to buy her a gift on Wednesday and had visited some shops, but he had found he didn't know what he could give, thinking he didn't really know her beyond the trifles he observed sometimes. As often he ignored her or heard half her ramblings, he had not registered well her words and it was difficult to discern her tastes. He wasn't her boyfriend because he was in love with her (as if he believed he could fall into it) so that these aspects did not interest him, as much as he did not mind her more than the basics things.

The only thing he could think was more stupid red roses, but he would feel ridiculous carrying them in the open, without wrapping paper that could hide them… It was the worst thing to do. In addition, it was a foolish decision to buy them two days earlier.

If wanted, they could now go for them and Kotoko would stay with the task of carrying then, she would be delighted.

Better, he had decided to kill two birds with one stone. Not knowing what she would love and not wanting to walk the streets carrying a gift, he decided to take her to the center and let her decide what she wanted. As she was cautious, and he didn't have economic problems, he was not worried about the kind of birthday gift she'd ask.

"Naoki-kun?" He blinked at her call and realized he had stood still in front of her, his lips parted soundlessly.

He cleared his throat.

"What do you want as a birthday gift?" he blurted without thinking a lot, but on the inside, he flinched for the solicitous he was being with all that. He was not like this and resented being involved in a situation like that, even though he knew that she deserved it.

 _Damn stupid conscience and sense of honor._

Kotoko blinked several times.

"Will you buy something for?" she whispered and stood, circling the table to sit on the padded seat he occupied, forcing him to make room and approach the wall, having the impression that she tried to corner him. "Or anything I want?" she asked, bringing her body too close to him, bothering him.

He snorted with his nose and nodded.

She fidgeted in her place, with eyes skyward. He waited until she decided, wondering if six months prior he would have thought he'd be in a similar position.

"A kiss," Kotoko murmured, taking him by surprise. He was expecting anything but that.

Would she be satisfied with something as simple as that? She was definitely an economic girlfriend, if she had the opportunity to take advantage of him to spend money on her, and asked that.

He had to remember that _she was like that_.

If she were otherwise, he may not endure her as he was beginning to do… with her ups and downs (just aware of what his mother did). If she were another, he would not have accepted and tell her to settle for something else. However, the way she was content was banal and simple. And he had done previously.

He smirked and looked around the not too crowded place, where everyone was in their own world.

He put his face close to hers and saw how she closed her eyes.

"If that's what you want, then we can go home," he whispered near her ear and pushed her to rise from the seat, internally entertaining with her stunned expression as she stood up.

"Hey?" Kotoko blurted, and he took the trash from the table.

"It's time to go," he said, indicating that she moved towards the door, which she did looking at him askance.

Naoki pretended not to see it.

What did she believe? That he would kiss her like that in public? He didn't intend to repeat the occasion in front of the school. That was only for a good purpose; now, nothing justified a public display of intimacy and affection.

They headed back to the station and at that time the car wasn't as busy as before but crowded nonetheless.

"Naoki-kun," she called his attention as he read on the way home after changing lines, "What do you read?" she asked in a curious tone.

He changed the page.

"A book about a series of murders," he decided to answer, without giving the name, because it would not say anything to her.

His eyes remained on reading, half the story climax, where surely his assumptions of the criminal would be true, as usual.

"Those are the books I do not like, because they have no happy ending and there are many dead."

He rolled his eyes. "In real life, there is no happy ending," he replied, thinking she would not let him continue with his reading in calm.

"Why not? How can you say that, Naoki-kun? Oba-sama and Oji-san had their happy ending," she argued, and he bit his tongue before saying that her parents do not. "They're together and love each other and have a good life, two children, health, work, a good economic position."

"That's your definition of _a happy ending_?" he asked, frowning. While it was true that his parents had a good relationship, it was not a secret that his mother was the one who held the reins of the relationship and he did not understand how his father could be happy with his mother controlling much of his life. Besides, the 'happy ending' was a romantic notion for dreamers who did not think about the practical aspects of life, using that as excuse.

"My happy ending is when two people who love each manage to be together," Kotoko said.

 _Something so typical that someone like her could think of._

"But sometimes things can happen," she continued, without finishing, apparently, and Naoki took away his eyes of the book for another brief moment, "things that do not let people have their happy ending, but you have to fight for it every day to be together and have the things you want."

Kotoko sighed.

"I almost don't remember my mom," she admitted softly, and he had to make an effort to listen between the noises. He could not imagine how it was to live without a mother. His exasperated him, but he did not imagine his life without her. Kotoko had sad experiences compared to him. "Actually, it's practically nothing. I have little memories of Dad and her; they loved each other and Dad still does. And he said that she was supportive of him when he started his restaurant and it is thanks to her that he succeeded. Also, she gave birth to me, and he told me as a child that's another kind of happy ending… I think there are happy endings when people can have happy times with people they love, even if there's some suffering. We already at the station!" She suddenly exclaimed.

Naoki noted they had and he hadn't realized the announcement while listening to her.

He put his book in his bag and went out of the car in her company, then leave the station.

Kotoko was a hopeless romantic, but at least had clear ideas, he recognized and thought that for her not all things were black and white.

Perhaps he would have realized it before if he had listened when she talked and paid more attention to her. That way, at least, he would be reciprocal to the genuine concern of her in his matters.

But what was he thinking? He had no time for that and no great interest in her life. Why was he confused by her fault?

Naoki looked around, realizing they were in an empty street in a few blocks from home and had not given Kotoko her _blessed_ gift, which he'd not dare to do at home, where he'd give his mother a chance to get material that she'd love to play in videos repeatedly.

He took Kotoko by her wrist and placed her on a step entrance of a house, taking her by surprise, as she opened her mouth.

He took advantage of them being at the same level and brought his face closer to hers; watching her eyes disappearing behind her eyelids. For a second, it crossed his mind to have fun at her expense and divert from her mouth, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she did, but the alternative was interesting

He narrowed his eyelids and placed his lips on hers, which had a little taste of melon, half opening his mouth slightly and capturing the now curved line of her lips with his. He took that as an indication to move them as they had done before, calmly.

He felt she slid her hands to his shoulders and let her be, until he took his free hand to her waist, to separate her. He took off his lips with her and lifted his eyelids, taking the opportunity to see the flushed face of Kotoko, who began to open her eyes, giving him the impression that it glittered.

Well, he had already given her the birthday gift

In the end, it was simple.

"Your present," he said, and went on the way home.

She caught him, running.

 **[...]**

Naoki jumped warming up for the match to come, the final tennis competition in the male category, where he and a student from another school in the Kanto region, competed for first place.

Ishiguro, of his school, had just won third place; and the final women's match was about to finish. There was the last participant of the institute, seeking the third place after losing by a tall black-haired woman, who looked very smug and had quick movements, but returned the ball, as did his partner, without much vision; she would surely get the second position because her future opponent was playing like a pro.

He had seen who would play against him and had formed a strategy, having noticed the weaknesses of the other. He was not being pretentious, he was just taking into account aspects of his opponent that could be of benefit; also, he was good at what he did, so he was going to show, again, that was the best.

He had reached the end very easily, while others struggled greatly. Although it was always the same.

They announced the end of the game, winning the opponent of his high school, and Naoki thought it was a very close game, only decided by a bad kick of his fellow club.

He shrugged; his institute had already won first place in doubles, the two categories, and would have two more medals from the men; his coach could be happy with the results of that year, the last with three of them on the team. He would have to put more pressure on his kohais and see if there was talent in new members.

They indicated that his competition would begin in five minutes and he went to the line of the court. He nodded to his opponent, a boy his age who was new to the competition and seemed to get along with one of the older competitors that had congratulated when he won, Sudou, whom he knew from years before, one in which he lead him to see adult films. Apparently, Sudou was now running the college tennis club, after the previous two years was part of the school in which he studied, Tonan.

"You'll be the champion, Onii-chan!"

"Naoki-kun!"

"Naoki!"

"Irie!"

The chorus occurred simultaneously.

He rolled his eyes and gave a brief introduction to the stands, where a segment of the center was occupied by _his cheerleaders_ , led by his mother, all dressed in blue with red details such as school uniform, carrying banners and bawling his name on each game he participated in this last event of the tournament.

Kotoko waved her red pompoms animation to see him looking at them, waving at him them and annoying him by hearing the cry of "Naoki-kun".

"Cheering until the end," his coach said at his side before giving him a lucky pat when they would begin.

The toss the coin suited his opponent to begin the set and Naoki was prepared at the center court to the service.

From there, it was a continuous blows in right, setbacks, volleys, and such, that managed to tire his opponent, knocking him out in the three sets they participated, making it too easy for him. He barely he used his strength in the game, wondering how his opponent managed to reach the final; if even Ishiguro gave him more fight.

It was too simple for viewers, who should have expected much more from the last game of men.

He shook hands with the loser and headed for the seats, to cool off before he changed, while listening to the indications for the last competition of women. The tall black-haired and the brunette of medium height approached to decide who started and the tallest smiled when the coin fell, nodding.

From her expression, Naoki imagined that luck had been in her favor and she'd start. For him, it didn't matter, but he assumed that others to take the lead in that part offered some encouragement to the game.

He stood up to go to the lockers and shower, when he saw the black-haired girl came to him, looking at him as Kotoko saw the food. Instead of bothering to prepare, she was wasting his time fooling around.

"Irie-san, congratulations on your victory," She said in her elegant and feminine voice.

'"Yes," he answered laconic, circling her to keep going.

"Irie-san, will you study at the University of Tokyo?" she asked from behind and he thought she had too much audacity, while ignoring her. "I'd like to be part of the same tennis team," continued the young woman.

As if he cared about that.

"Your game is going to start," he told her without turning around, heading for the showers.

 **[...]**

Naoki, with a new change of clothes, sat in the row of the stands designed to competitors, with Ishiguro, who did not lose detail of the game, in which the brunette, as he predicted, was winning the first set.

"Who do you think is going to win?" Asked his partner.

He searched the names of the two on the board, which he hadn't previously heard. "Takahashi," he said plainly, then drinking water from his bottle.

"Matsumoto also looks good," Ishiguro said and he saw him looking at her with interest.

"Over-confident," he pointed, watching the movement of her feet and hands. "Nimble, but she doesn't return properly and gives the point to her opponent."

Ishiguro laughed. "If you say so, then it will happen."

A series of red silk slips, thrashing, appeared in his field of vision, making him snorted with his nose.

Kotoko put her hands on his shoulders and then looked to his right, with a smile on her face.

"Congratulations, Naoki-kun," she cheered, waving pompoms, which bothered his face. "You're the best player of Kanto. I knew you'd win."

He put her hands aside to don't disturb him with the ridiculous occurrences of his mother, who dressed her as a cheerleader for the game.

"Having this support, anyone would think so," remarked Ishiguro beside him, turning his body to face the back row, where his girlfriend was. "Aihara-san, you look good without the school uniform."

"Hey?" He imagined Kotoko with a stunned and flushed face.

"Ishiguro, Class B," said his club mate, laughing.

Naoki stopped watching the game and turned in his seat, looking at a fun Ishiguro watching the face Kotoko, who looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Congratulations on winning your game, Ishiguro-san," she whispered her fingers after cracking her fingers.

His mate nodded. "Thank you. Congratulations to you too for getting into the top lists twice. Will you continue the rest of the year, Aihara-san?" He spoke, in good spirits.

Kotoko wrinkled her mouth. "The second time was not my intention, I just want to finish high school and graduate with Naoki-kun."

"It would be great to see someone of F occupying the fifty position until graduation, Aihara-san. If I'm honest, Morimoto-san, who had that place, I do not like him much. Better a pretty face in the number fifty."

Ishiguro offered a wink to Kotoko, who blushed at the compliment and pulled back, her hand on his arm.

Naoki focused his gaze on his partner, who laughed at the reaction caused by his girlfriend, and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, Aihara-san, I know when I have an opportunity and Irie has the advantage of discovering a jewel like you first," Ishiguro said funny, while Naoki thoughy _he did not know what he meant_ , or whether he believed that silly flirtation served with her. "Also, I'm attracted to women as Matsumoto-san, no offense."

Askance, he saw Kotoko gaping and nodding without looking away from Ishiguro, until he returned his eyes to the game, after Naoki did the same.

"Just take care of him, because Matsumoto-san seems to have the eyes on your boyfriend," hinted Ishiguro without turning, earning a gasp from Kotoko.

He rolled his eyes, the third set was beginning, and she interrupted him his concentration on the game.

"That... that you're implying it's not going to happen!" Said his girlfriend behind him. He imagined she would be with fists raised in the determination pose she did when she wanted to face adversity.

Momentarily he felt sorry for the black-haired woman, just because she did not know what she'd face if she tried to make a move, with the interest she showed in him; he did not care to have awakened her attraction, he was sure not to see her again.

Moreover, Kotoko… couldn't she think that he would not put his attention on someone else… something dishonorable?

After the service of Matsumoto, he cocked his face to look askance at his girlfriend who followed the competition with narrowed eyes.

"I have to take care of her Naoki-kun... he doesn't realize that there are dangerous people..." he read that in Kotoko's lips before her mouth formed a pout.

He suppressed a smile… That was the childish way of her; even if she had the certainty of knowing him and knowing he would not commit an offense.

* * *

 **AN: Hope you enjoyed it.**

 _ **Karo.**_


	15. Things just happen

**Chapter 15**

 **Things just happen _(there are not logical reasons)_**

* * *

The sports center was virtually emptied after the medal ceremony. Naoki put the two he received in his trouser pocket while going for his belongings in the lockers, leaving his family to go on ahead to the car.

"Bye, Irie-san", said Matsumoto as he passed her; she had her second medal gleaming on her chest. Perhaps she realized her flaws too late, analyzing the way she won the third set, but her opponent obtained the victory by winning the fourth set, after a hard battle.

He nodded and went for his bag to the lockers, accepting farewells from other participants with whom he had met in the three years he participated in the tournament. He could come back next year if he integrated as part of a university club, but he thought that if he did, he'd better compete against other clubs in colleges and not those in the region.

"If given the slightest chance of seeing you in Tonan, Irie, I hope you join my club," asked Sudou with a friendly smile, standing next to him. "But if you're my rival, do not expect clemency," he warned before he left, taking the same way used the black-haired, pronouncing the name of hers in a very ridiculous manner.

 _That was interesting._

Naoki shrugged, thinking of what Sudou said; he didn't know what he would study, so he was not sure which college he would go… also, he didn't care about that man, who seemed possessed when he took the racket.

He hung the bag behind his body and held his hand on his shoulder, walking quietly around the court.

Kotoko came running towards him.

"Naoki-kun! Congratulations!" she cried when stopped walking at the same pace.

"You've already said it," he replied with a sigh. "And I do not want compliments." Nor he needed them. He wasn't being arrogant; rather he put no effort into winning and receiving them made no sense. And, well, he knew he would win, it was an obvious fact if they look at the skills of the others.

"I know," she whispered, before taking hold of his free arm, without asking permission, taking liberties to a degree that he knew not worth bothering to say no, because it would be worse.

Anyway, he made a try to pull away, but she seemed like a koala subject to a branch.

"Naoki-kun?" Kotoko asked suddenly.

He made a sound to give her an indication to continue.

"May I congratulate you again and you'll accept it?"

"What?" he muttered, still not achieve to loosen her grip without much abruptness, doing it in seconds later, just because she let him.

Kotoko took him by surprise hanging from his neck with both arms and sticking her lips to his.

He opened his eyes in disbelief, feeling she moved her mouth shyly, eyes shut. He had frozen hands at her waist and his body in a state of stupor.

How could she think? Since when she acted like that? What had moved her?

 _May I congratulate you again and you'll accept it?_

He smiled with Kotoko's lips still on his.

 _That silly girl_. Again, she had managed to take him unawares.

He conceded her that and returned her unsuccessful attempt, funny because of her and the way she acted. _Accepting_ her congratulations in a way that only she dared to give them.

At least no one was looking and just the two were there, so it was okay to let her kiss him. _Moreover, just because rejecting her would have its consequences_.

Kotoko could indeed be a fool, he thought as she broke the kiss with an all red and guilty face. "This is the congratulations you deserve, Naoki-kun," she said, hanging onto his arm once again, this time with him not doing vain attempts to separate without using full force.

Only she could think that, in that strange way she had of thinking and acting. However, despite her weak points, she had good traits and even came to be acceptable, if given the opportunity to meet her, not thinking about how irritating she could be. But that quality was a part of Kotoko, who somehow managed to get others to like her.

Was using the surprise factor as one way that he _felt_ the congratulations?

That was thinking too much of her, maybe she just kissed him because that way it was hard to refuse. Or she had much enthusiasm. Or she wanted to take him by surprise. Or simply because she wanted.

Still, he didn't question his own motives to respond. He just accepted, reluctantly, a congratulatory.

 **[...]**

"The projects will include documentaries that you make in relation to the issue of climate change; you will have free choice of the topic you wish to address, that the Academy of Sciences of Tonan School will analyze and select the best three. Those will represent us in the regional forum for the environment, along with other institutes. It is a specific job for the ability of students in class A.

» You'll deliver a text document with information and referrals to support the content of your videos, of which you'll provide three copies on CDs. All will get electronically the call of the event and the covers that you'll use in your projects; furthermore, you will have the opportunity to read and resolve any questions that arise. Please note that the project results will be of use for the colleges you wish to attend, as the short term of realization it is a standard measurement for you. In addition, many university professors will attend, from the Sciences field.

The teacher of Class A paused and took a sheet of a yellow folder on the desk in front of the classroom.

"Now, young people, considering your abilities, I have established teams that highlight your best skills and result in works with the high quality that you are accustomed. I'm sure all the teams will present projects among which will be difficult to decide." The man cleared his throat and repositioned his glasses. "I'm going to start… The first team, Kinomoto, Watanabe, and Yamada."

Naoki waited for the sensei to say his name, with the idea of how irksome would be to work with someone else. His classmates were good students, but they'd have to strike a balance for what they were going to do, and that bothered him, knowing that his ideas alone were good enough. And that he alone could finish that task in the first week, not within the three given to them, a week prior to starting the mid-term exams in the last week of October.

"Finally, the only couple, Irie with Koujiro," concluded his teacher after reading his list, saying his partner. Naoki had known before, discarding the names as he was listening.

He caught claps of congratulations that received the black-haired girl, 'who already had secured a place in the contest'.

 _Of course_ , but at least he would be with the third best of the group, someone much more able to keep up with him, than one of the last of the class, like a member of Watanabe's team.

"Show the best of you, class A," said his teacher before giving them time to agree on the final minutes of the class, which concluded the day's schedule.

Naoki, before going to Koujiro, sent a message to Kotoko announcing that they would not go home together, and that she told his mother.

"Irie-san." He looked up and saw that Koujiro had just placed before him, saving him the seat change.

He nodded.

"Do we review material at the library after class ends?" Koujiro asked.

Apparently, she had the same idea. It would not be an ordeal to have to work with that classmate.

"I am thinking that we could make progress at our homes and then meet. But in the library we could not talk as we need," she added at the end, wrinkling her mouth.

He nodded.

"Do you want to work at your place?" he asked.

She seemed hesitant and refused.

"My younger siblings will prevent us from working properly and I live near train tracks, I think there will be a lot of noise and interruptions."

Naoki thought that at home would not be free of the noise, because he did not get a calm space for months; but it was their best option.

"I'll notify at home."

"Well, what area it is of your interest, Irie-san? My interest is the ecological footprint in the sea and aquatic life, especially coral, or the impact of the use of biological weapons in reducing environmental health."

"Several perspectives," he replied after hearing her, leery of having to lead their project to what she said; but it represented the most likely way to finish, defined the issue, if the interests of both had a common denominator. "The closest to what you just said is the impact of the exploitation of the deep sea for obtaining minerals.

"That's… very new and I like it." Koujiro smiled. "Working with you, Irie-san, is the best that could have happened to me."

He began to keep his belongings without heeding the obviousness of it. Everyone in the class would have said the same.

"I'll go for my stuff," said his companion, and he nodded. Then the bell sound ending the day.

 **[...]**

"A female classmate and I will meet here tomorrow for a school project," Naoki announced during dinner, once his mother had sat at the table.

He hoped his mother understood had to refrain from shaming him in any way, and the same was for Kotoko.

His mother looked at him, with a curious expression; he knew her, and it did not bode well. He hated to provide her opportunities where she could bring out her wit, not too good for him.

"What kind of project?" Asked his father, calling his attention.

Naoki looked away from his okaa-san and proceeded to explain to his father and the others listening, what contained the call, in a simple way, using the words given by his teacher two days ago.

"It'll help you for the University of Tokyo, Nao," opined his father, talking about his alma mater, and he shrugged, without affirming or denying that he would study there. _And because it was more of the same_.

With the time left for the examinations for prestigious universities or others than Tonan, comments regarding the future university increased, mainly from teachers to class. It was bothersome to hear it constantly, if one-time was enough; it only remarked on the mistaken belief that a major university would be able to train the best professionals, ignoring the influence of the abilities of the person…

"And this classmate, how is her?" asked his mother, diverting the conversation, as if talking about going to the University of Tokyo were not of interest. She proclaimed many times that, while he was happy and gave her the grandchildren she wanted… she was content. _She was romantic_.

Also, she always preferred to hear about women, as at that moment where she was interested in hearing from Koujiro. As if he cared about her beyond the project.

Moreover, if she didn't want to pair them, which would have been her typical behavior, he didn't see her interest. Unless…

"It she nice? _Pretty_? No more that Kotoko-chan, of course." There was his mother motive, which corroborated his girlfriend, who stopped eating and leant to pay more attention to the topic. He almost rolled his eyes.

 _They were ridiculous_. Surely, they thought that his intentions to bring Koujiro home were other… As if he were like that, even without a girlfriend.

"And why do you care?" he muttered, shrugging, having no interest to stimulate their troublesome thoughts.

"Tell me, onii-chan; I want to know about the girl that is coming home. She can be like those two friends of Kotoko-chan that accompanied her home the other day, besides that… uh…" Naoki frowned. "… _nice boy_ classmate, who calls Ai-san father," she mumbled, causing the laughter of Yuuki.

 _The loud-mouthed jerk_. He didn't waste time; possibly, he didn't know her friends would join. Well for them.

"She's smart, right?" Kotoko interjected, asking something more logical about the girl.

"She has the third position," he agreed, because it was the important thing of his partner.

"Then she's very smart," recognized his girlfriend with her shoulders down.

He almost rolled his eyes, imagining her making comparisons… it even seemed that she was the daughter Noriko Irie and not him.

His mother noticed the reaction of Kotoko and jumped. "But being smart is not everything."

Yuuki coughed. "Onii-chan is very intelligent," he replied, defending him. Kotoko nodded, supporting his position.

His mother smiled.

"Oh, I just wish he wasn't all the time. He doesn't have to struggle."

Naoki continued to eat, without taking notice. He knew what she meant; he would not give her the satisfaction of hearing this time. In addition, his intellectual capacity would take him farther than she thought, and he preferred that kind of achievements than the dreams that she aspired for him.

"But, oba-sama, Naoki-kun is good at everything he does and can do much," Kotoko said, frowning, as if she didn't like what his mother was saying. "I admire him."

"Everything he touches turns into gold," quoted his mother and Naoki looked at her for a second, by the comparison with the myth of King Midas, whose fate in folklore was unhappy when he could not eat because everything transformed into metal. Or the story renovated by an American writer, where the daughter became gold.

"Hey?" Kotoko asked, causing his mother to explain what she meant.

Meanwhile, Naoki questioned whether his mother and others had that impression from him, that he could achieve _all_ because it was easy with his high intellect. But it should not be, because they would believe him destined to ruin. And he, of course, had no such future even if what would do on it was as uncertain.

For a second, he swallowed. For Midas, turning things into gold was a curse. And, often, with his superior abilities and his eidetic memory, he supposed…

"Oba-sama, Naoki-kun isn't like that Midas, because how smart he is, he would realize that bad things can happen."

"Oh, Kotoko-chan, is not…"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," he cut, not wanting to hear more on the subject, with speculation that made him feel a laboratory animal, as they incited him to think about those absurdities.

His mother laughed.

"It's silly, I do not know why I say these things," she exaggerated her voice, "and I almost forget about your project partner."

However, he wondered if all her speech had been a very precise indirect of his mother, like other times when she tried to tell him alone and he didn't put attention. He wondered if she had deliberately introduced the topic…

It was not as if he would ask her.

 **[...]**

Naoki saw the look Kotoko gave Koujiro when he approached their meeting place and rolled his eyes.

"Aihara-san, aren't you?" Said softly his classmate and the alluded nodded. "I'm Koujiro," she ended, bowing her head.

"Hi, Koujiro-san," answered his girlfriend, standing intentionally in the space between the two when they started the way home, to what he huffed, and he only found the black-haired noticed, because she looked at him for a second, but continued attentive to Kotoko. "Do you always have been in Class A?" Kotoko asked, grabbing the attention of his partner, with whom he wanted to discuss some issues of work on the way home.

Koujiro smiled. "Yes, I got into fifth in the entrance examination."

"Then you're very intelligent," Kotoko noted. "And also nice."

"Thanks, Aihara-san. You also have these qualities and others, even if they think differently because you are a Class F," admired his companion; to him, it seemed strange coming from someone of A. "I've never found very good the school system, if you ask me."

"Why?" Kotoko replied, surprisingly for Naoki, without stumbling on the road as she walked focused on a conversation.

He also asked the same in his mind, since in his opinion it was well to keep them apart, to work more with people with low skills and encourage them to aim for a higher position in classes.

"Well, it seems to students that the most important things are notes."

"There's the heart, too," said his girlfriend.

The dark-haired laughed. "Yes, and I think that if students were mixed as in other institutes it would help them to learn from others," she explained. "Is suitable classes are at the same level because it allows students with similar intellectual abilities to feel well, but it does not give lots of opportunities to those who are below."

"Ummm… but still, Naoki-kun says you're in third place," Kotoko argued.

"Yes, because to others it's a little difficult to understand this, and because my academic background will help me get into college."

Again, the same subject, Naoki noted.

"What are you going to study?"

"I want to be an environmental scientist, but I will study an engineering related to renewable energy."

"Wow! Scientific. And where will you apply?"

"Kyoto." The second best in the country.

From there, Naoki started to ignore them completely, without being surprised at how easy it was to Kotoko to talk his partner, although the other to hear her. He shrugged and, in the journey back home, he did what he always did, _read_.

 **[...]**

The door of the study, which was their place to work—by his mother's orders—, opened, and Naoki looked up, like his partner, as no one had called before entering.

In the doorjamb, Kotoko was with a tray in her hands, that had sandwiches like those that his mother made when both were studying in her bedroom.

"I bring something to eat." He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Wasn't his mother the one that did something like that? "Oba-sama prepared them," she added, misunderstanding.

She walked slowly to where he was with his partner.

Koujiro let out a laugh. "Thanks, Aihara-san. And I do not know how to cook, too." Kotoko put a doubtfully face. "For your comment," explained the girl, making room on the table they had occupied with papers and his laptop.

"For real?" Kotoko asked incredulously.

The other shook her head.

"My mom thinks it is my younger brother who has the skills that I don't. He's twelve and he has a wonderful ability to cook. I can barely reheat a meal without burning."

They both laughed, and he wondered why the other made it look like a pride; it was unpleasant to enhance poor skills.

"My friend Kin-chan cooks very well, although he is very bad at school," remarked Kotoko and he frowned when she made mention of the loud-mouthed idiot. "My dad is a chef. And Naoki-kun made a meal as in the recipe book. There are four men with better skills than us."

"Maybe we should be with that kind of man, Aihara-san."

Looking at him, Kotoko blushed and nodded. What if he told her about Koujiro liked him? He was sure she would not have taken so innocently what the other had said; although he had to admit that his partner had not alluded to his earlier confession.

Kotoko started to give a glimpse of what they had on the table, coming dangerously, so it was likely to provoke an accident.

"Don't you have other things to do?" he murmured, putting her away when she almost bumped into the glass.

She opened her eyes and stepped back, shaking her head.

"Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" He inquired, raised an eyebrow, making her laugh softly, looking shameful.

"I finished. Oba-sama wants me to help with dinner," she informed him, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

"And your desire to improve?" He spluttered, for her to be off once.

"Well… I wanted to see what you were doing."

"Kotoko, let us work," he asked in a minimally restrained tone.

"I'm going then," she announced and turned, walking to the door, which she closed after looking when it was ajar.

He proceeded to continue what they were doing; taking some snacks on what he read an article.

"Aihara-san is very fun and enjoyable, Irie-san," Koujiro said after a few moments. He did not look away from the lines. "I think good person. I like her."

 _How was it possible that Kotoko won people over easily?_

Probably because they realized how irritating she might become when she insisted too much or knew no bounds to meddle in someone else's life—in that case, his—. She was Romantic, chatty, naïve, confident, determined, protective, sensitive, persistent and impulsive, it was not all bad at times, but he didn't understand why others liked her that quickly.

He was sure that, if circumstances had not united them, he would not want to talk with her more than once.

Naoki sighed, Koujiro was not _that crazy_ ; Kotoko could be a good person, but to him some of her attitudes… seemed bothersome… yes.

The door opened again and he looked the alluded. "I forgot to tell you, later I'll go back for the tray."

"Kotoko…"

She slammed the door and he snorted.

 **[...]**

Naoki put the towel around his neck, so his wet hair didn't moisten the shirt of his pajamas, and left the bathroom to his room, glad that at the time for his school project he didn't have to tutor Kotoko all days. Something good came out of that.

He went through the door of Kotoko, tapping it with his knuckles.

She opened fast, as he continued with his fist raised.

"The bathroom is free," he said before turning around.

"Naoki-kun?" She spoke in a whisper.

He stopped for a second, as an indication that he had heard, wondering what she would want on that occasion.

He heard her sigh.

"She… Koujiro-san, is smart, right?" she asked. "And also very friendly… and do you think she is beautiful?" He rolled his eyes but gave a snort of his mouth.

He looked at Kotoko over his shoulder, with a sarcastic look.

"You want me to tell you that I like her?" he inquired, ironically.

"She is… the kind you like?" He smiled sideways watching her play with her fingers. It was stupid to waste time that way.

"Are you trying to listen that I want to break up and then start dating her?" he whispered with a grin. As if he had that opportunity, and he would have done it much earlier, when she confessed; but he was not interested in the qualities she had to offer. Kotoko nodded enthusiastically. "Don't think stupidities," he said dryly, thinking that his mother also had something to do with it.

If it wasn't Kotoko, it was his mother hanging around the studio.

"Naoki-kun," whispered his girlfriend in a strange tone, stepping forward.

"I'm going to sleep," he cut, retreating to his bedroom without thinking why his eyes were attracted by the shining ones of hers.

 **[...]**

As he listened to the words of Koujiro, holding the computer mouse, Naoki settled into the seat of the study. They had virtually nothing left, with the multimedia file ready, which only needed one or two arrangements.

In the end, it had been just over a week and a half with the project, mainly because the interest of his partner far exceeded his and was very committed to the completion of work related to the study area she wanted to make in the future.

"Then today, before arriving home, I'll do the printing," confirmed Koujiro when he began to make ready the first of the CDs, where they would print the covers later.

He nodded.

"I liked working with you, Irie-san… even if your pace is exhausting but exhilarating."

"It's a good project," he offered in response, so that it became clear that having to work with someone else for that project wasn't very unpleasant.

Koujiro gathered her belongings and put them in her school bag.

The home bell rang… something strange.

"I'll open!" He listened Kotoko say that very closely as if she were by the door of the study. It wouldn't be surprising, with the numerous times she appeared around with silly excuses, aiming to keep him monitored in the company of a _possible rival_ , as he heard her whispering once to his mother while going to the kitchen for a glass of water.

She only negatively fed Kotoko's mind with fantasies or idiotic ideas.

With Koujiro, he went to the studio door.

"KOTOKO!" He tensed after hearing the voice of _the dumb_ …What was he doing at his home?

Mainly because casual visits weren't made if you lived on the other side of the city.

A good way to ruin the day; the loudmouth was the last person he wanted to have at home. Only by the sound of his voice, he felt irritation.

* * *

 **AN: Think of the chapter's name like: "Just because", with a shrug.**

 _Just 90k words left to finish this story, so we have a long journey ha,ha._

 _Now, who is the dumb here? Really, Naoki is so..._

 _ **Love, Karo.**_

* * *

Guest: Kotoko is lovely when she wants, so she accepted the kiss like something bigger. Other times I want to hit her for letting him do as he pleases with her. lol. I'm happy because you like it, and I hope you enjoy this one, too. Thanks for reviewing!


	16. There are worthwhile battles

**Chapter 16**

 **There are worthwhile battles**

* * *

"¡Kin-chan!"

Naoki left the room after hearing the astonished voice of Kotoko.

Leaving the study, he almost crashed into his wide-eyed mother, before she rushed towards the entrance of the house, with them following her at a slower pace. Maybe she was wasting her time listening behind the door.

"Hello, Mrs. Irie! I brought something special, Kotoko."

Arriving where the noisy guy was, with Kotoko and his mother, he also saw Yuuki, which scowled at the newcomer. Ikezawa was dressed in school uniform and carried several bentos.

"What you got there, Kin-chan?" Kotoko asked, pointing Ikezawa packages.

"I have to go, Irie-san," said Koujiro, attracting the attention of others. Thanks for welcoming me, Irie-san," she added going to the door; therefore, to his mother. "See you later, Kotoko-san. Yuuki-kun. Kotoko-san's friend."

"See you, Rinko-san!" Kotoko dismissed waving her hands before returning her sight to Ikezawa. "Kin-chan? Come in."

Naoki rolled his eyes with the obvious interest showed by the guy, asking permission from his mother to go to the dining room, even ignoring _his_ presence.

Curiosity got the better of him, so he followed, watching Ikezawa take two bento boxes and place them on the table.

"I've been practicing on my okonomiyaki and takoyaki versions of the typical foods of Kansai, and I want my friends to be the first to try them. You, Kotoko, are the first one," explained the boy from F in good spirits, opening one of the bento boxes, presenting the ball-shaped octopus snacks and the seasoned batter that, Naoki had to admit to himself, looked appetizing… not as Kotoko's attempts in the kitchen.

Ikezawa presented cased chopsticks to his girlfriend, who looked amazed at the food… of course, that besotted her. Then, the loud-mouthed guy reached for another of his packages.

"As I came to your place, also I have something for you," Ikezawa handed his mother a bento box, which she accepted wide-eyed, "but Kotoko has the honor to taste my food first. Come on, Kotoko."

Why did she have to be the first? _Oh, yes, his infatuation for Kotoko_ , he thought with disgust.

His mother carefully placed the bento box on the dining table, while Kotoko nodded with a big smile.

"Thanks for the food!" said his girlfriend _too_ happily, according to Naoki, before she picked up one of the balls and took it to her mouth.

He saw the expectant expressions of others, mainly from the idiot, who jigged out excited in his place awaiting the verdict of his girlfriend, whose face turned to ecstasy, her eyes shining with a huge smile that swell both of her cheeks.

"Delicious! Kin-chan, your food is very good!" Kotoko exclaimed, jumping in her seat and clapping with much encouragement. "Naoki-kun, oba-sama, Yuuki-kun, you have to try this! It's marvelous!"

She stopped and he watched her try the other food prepared by the now stunned Ikezawa.

"It's a honor, Kin-chan, to try something so good!"

His mother carefully—and swallowing several times—started opening the package, as Yuuki returned from the kitchen with a set of chopsticks, distributing them for the three. Naoki was about to refuse, but _something_ prompted him to try the food prepared by the noisy guy, while the praises of Kotoko predominated in the dining room.

Yuuki and he shared the same look of disbelief after trying a little, when they felt the explosion of taste in their mouths, highlighting the combination of ingredients and exquisiteness that invaded them with every little hint of flavor that came as chewing, delighting their tongues slowly until they swallowed.

He had to admit that the guy was good at it; he had not eaten food of the same style that had provoked him the same feeling. Kotoko reacted well as she did. If you loved the food, that was a good one.

Without a doubt, there were better than Ikezawa, just at that particular dish he had not encountered one that mimicked it. Although that guy could well spend all his time in the kitchen instead of giving it to school.

"It's amazing," expressed his mother, her hand over her mouth. "Kotoko-chan's friend, this is a great meal."

Kotoko nodded her head repeatedly not stopping her eating.

"Thank you, Mrs. Irie. My dream is to become a great chef and have my own restaurant, and I am preparing to have it," said Ikezawa with fist raised, and then he looked down at Kotoko. "Though I also have another dream." Naoki tensed. "Kotoko, I am happy to know that my first original dish has your approval, now I will go with others." The guy bowed his head and just then, he turned his narrowed eyes to him, moving his mouth to say " _demon_ " without volume, before heading out towards the front door, with the other food packages under his arm.

Naoki followed the path in which he disappeared, through gritted teeth; then he looked back at the table, Yuuki was stealing a little more food, her mother was staring his girlfriend, and this last one was delighting the palate without realizing what was happening around her.

"That boy has a good chance of becoming a great chef," opined his mother.

"Yes," Kotoko said, finishing her meal. "He could become someone famous, his food is delicious. If Dad eats it, he will say it's great. I wish I could cook just a little good as Kin-chan does. I hope he can fulfill his dream. No, I know he will!"

A strange feeling came over Naoki.

That guy was another who had a dream and was much closer to fulfilling his aspirations than him, even when his own abilities far surpassed Ikezawa.

He left the room, nauseating to hear praise from Kotoko about her classmate. To his misfortune, she followed him to his room, picking up the papers in the corner of his desk, the list of careers. All with the B had been exhausted. The summer activities didn't allow them to continue with that, because according to Kotoko _he must be present_.

Kotoko laughed.

"No, definitely I could not imagine you with a career related to music," she said and Naoki wrinkled his mouth while checking the progress recorded on the CD in the laptop.

He wished Kotoko was outside of the bedroom, with discomfort he felt him inside him, that was worsening seeing her happy. However, he did not tell her to leave because they were still reviewing professions. "Or do you write and sing, Naoki-kun?"

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow; he was not part of those absurdities.

His girlfriend laughed with his hands in her mouth. "There's something you cannot do," she crooned, before crossing out with a pencil the "careers related to music". "Or is that you have not tried?"

"Nor I would," he snapped sourly.

"Will you sing for me?" she asked with a discouraged face.

"No." He snapped again, this time more unfriendly.

She giggled with her head down. "Kin-chan had to restrain himself too." He heard her muttering very low.

Naoki frowned at the mention of the guy. "What?" He said grimly.

"Nothing, I remembered that Kin-chan is very good for cooking, but not for singing," she explained, he saw the shiver that ran through her. "The day of my birthday sang me a very strange song, which he wrote."

Just thinking of Ikezawa doing something like that, a shiver ran through his. If his daily voice was irksome, he singing must be a thousand times worse. In addition, he felt disgusted that the guy was _still behind her_.

"But he will not work in that, but in the kitchen. You've tried his food, what do you think?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Good," he muttered, wanting to cut his tongue.

"Just fine? If they were the best takoyakis and okonomiyaki I've had in my life! Octopus balls were so delicious, fluffy, and the flavor explode in your mouth… as if…"

"Go away if you're only going to talk about that." He cut abruptly removing the second CD, having it recorded.

"Yes, I'm sorry," Kotoko said. "Next, oh, chef."

"The next one," he demanded.

"But…"

"I'm not interested in the kitchen," he muttered, although it would be satisfactory to pursue it and overcome someone like Ikezawa, only to wipe the smile of complacency with which he left the house after hearing the verdict of Kotoko. But preparing food for others was not something he really considered.

"All right." His girlfriend shrugged. "Chemical Engineer."

He stood, feeling like drinking water, because he felt heat. "Don't you dare touch anything other than the browser," he indicated in dry tone, walking towards the door. "Do you understand?"

"Yes."

He went downstairs and walked into the kitchen, where his mother was preparing dinner, whistling and dancing from side to side. He felt something strange in the stomach at the thought of food, although it was not the same as when he was hungry.

He looked for a glass and filled it with water; he drank slowly.

"Can you ask Kotoko if she wants dinner?" his mother asked, interrupting her humming.

Naoki mouth slightly wrinkled. He put the glass down to answer: "Ikezawa's meal should have left her satisfied." He listened to the very serious tone of voice.

His mother looked at him intently.

"Onii-chan?" she said with a face of doubt.

"What? He said dryly.

"Aren't you…" she mouthed the end in very low volume and he couldn't read her lips.

"What?" he muttered, annoyed that she didn't speak clearly. He knew his face was blank, but his voice reflected his discomfort.

"Jealous," his mother said and he gave her a skeptical look, because of the incredulous nonsense that just came out of her mouth. _She was getting worse._

"Don't say nonsense," he stated leaving the kitchen, returning to his room.

"¡Onii-chan!"

He climbed the stairs briskly, ignoring his mother. What she had said was stupid, mostly because you experienced jealousy when you had feelings towards the object or you really care for it. And that was not his case. Why would he be jealous? Of what or whom?

Of Ikezawa Kinnosuke? Of his food? Of his dream?

Moreover, he could not be jealous, serious people like him did not fall into those silly states.

"Satomi! Yes! It was delicious! You also think the same! Kin-chan's takoyakis are the best in the world! Yes! The okonomiyaki was also good, but the takoyakis were better."

He became irritated when opening the door of his bedroom, where Kotoko seemed more interested in the phone than her task.

He walked up to her, who turned as if she felt his presence. "He will have a great future if he tries. Now I have to…"

Naoki barely heard the sound of the mobile phone falling to the floor, with his hands on her neck and her waist, pressing his lips hard to hers, so that Kotoko occupy his mind was on other things, on _him_. Moreover, to show her what she did not use her phone calls in banalities like that, and concentrate solely on what they were doing, important to _him_.

But he separated and sat on his chair without understanding why he wanted exactly that.

 _Starting an internal debate._

 **[...]**

Naoki saw curiously the rolled up paper—almost a meter long—that his mother was carrying on her arm, heading to their study. He was down for a glass of water and she had just crossed on his periphery.

He shrugged, because it had to be another of the issues that were not of his interest, and continued what he would do on the ground floor. It was late and he had not slept at the touch of the pillow, which continuously occurred since his mother say the stupid word "jealousy" and his brain hadn't let him stop thinking of the subject. It was annoying, mainly because an impulse drove him to look for an article on the subject and what he had found had not allowed him to be calm. Let alone when he repeated to himself that he should be aware of not acting that way, because it'd give others a wrong impression.

 _Jealousy_ , that was stupid.

Back in the hallway, he heard the voices of his parents, along with Shigeo-san and was surprised that the latter was already at home when he understood that he arrived sometime later. It should be a single event or that Wednesday the restaurant wasn't crowded.

"And this little chamber will be used when they have a baby"! It was the cry of his mother and he frowned, not liking at all the conclusion he was getting in his head.

His brain was not sleep-deprived now, active enough to understand that _he should find out what was going on_.

His steps led him to studio's door ajar and he opened noiselessly, leaning on the wooden frame.

The three adults, very focused on the table, did not notice his presence. There, he saw the size paper loaded by his mother, in which he saw an architectural blueprint, which increased his suspicion.

"And this would be the Yuuki's room, and the next door would be for the future, although it is a bit early to think about it… hopefully, we will be forced to make another extension of the house in a few years." Naoki felt his right eyelid tremble in response to the words of his mother.

It was incredible, she was thinking about controlling his life, doing things without his knowledge. He knew that Kotoko would be in the future, he had told Shigeo-san and had hinted it to his mother a few months earlier, after the festival, but he still felt amazed by her actions.

"But, Mom, a new floor would be enough room for grandchildren."

"What are you doing?" He asked in feigned calm, entering fully into the room, looking at the plans.

The two older men jumped and put guilty expressions; his mother, well, she only gave him a smile, as if his presence was nothing. He knew she was the only one, even loving him, that went against him, and did a variety of things without caring much of his opinion, if they were related to her romantic purposes. He could cope with her and he knew that sometimes she won because he couldn't oppose _his mother_.

No wonder he thought he inherited much of his wit and demanding character from her.

"These are the expansion plans of the house when you and Kotoko-chan are married," explained his mother, still smiling, while the other two were still watching his face, maybe to measure his reaction.

"Oh yeah?" Naoki inquired, raising the corner of his mouth in arrogant attitude.

"Of course. After seeing you kissing Kotoko, I thought about it," she said calmly and he lost his arrogance.

She had seen. When? The only moment he could think of was the one in his room, in which he didn't know why he didn't think of closing the door. He recalled that she appeared asking if Kotoko was going to dine, arguing that he never communicated her answer. _The day of Ikezawa's food_.

He was grateful she did not have her camera at the time. Nothing would be worse than that, but he should be careful because surely she would have it on hand for a possible next opportunity… that he wouldn't give her, though.

"Kotoko-chan's friend is dangerous." He barely overheard her whisper, but he wrinkled his brow. "And onii-chan has realized how much he must care for Kotoko-chan," she claimed louder, quickly.

"And you started to plan this?" he muttered reluctantly, pointing to the plan.

"I talk to the parents and Ai-san confirmed what dad and I thought, that you were serious about Kotoko-chan, and I proposed this. Both are satisfied. How about you?" She, with no doubt, was the decisive voice of the two men, whose eyes averted from him.

"Of course, it can be postponed a few years," his father interjected, probably seeing growing the vein he felt throbbing in his temple.

"It seems you already have everything planned, doesn't it, mother?" He asked her snarky; she nodded with a wide smile. "Have you ever thought that you cannot decide in other's lives, like mines or hers?

"Surprises are better," his mother replied without changing her tone of voice. "You're such a perfect couple and we can start planning for the future."

Naoki ran his hand over his face, sighing. He could not deal with her. He could choose his partner, but not his mother. He hated she get into his life in such a way.

He would accept that, _in his way_ , because it was true that he would not end the relationship with Kotoko. Less allowing others to take advantage.

"Fine, but don't bother for few years," he muttered and looked directly at his mother. "And I don't want pressuring or any word about this, or I will act in a way that you will not like," he added, receiving nods from the others, a reluctant one from the woman among them. He hoped they understood that he could take drastic measures if they didn't drop the issue this time.

And she must be aware that he knew everything she'd hate _not_ to pass (or not to witness).

He turned, wondering why he had that kind of mother, and a father who subjected to her desires… Also, a father-in-law who accepted being in her webs.

"I'd be better if Kotoko doesn't find out," he added from the door, almost as a threat. The last thing he wanted was her insistence, manipulated by his mother, who had promised not to pursue the issue with him. She'd find a way to involve Kotoko, and he knew how persistent his girlfriend could become, worse with the bad influence of his mother.

By gods. _How come was he related to them?_

 **[...]**

Naoki stopped paying attention to Kotoko, who practiced out in the field, and turned towards the wall, with a ball in hand.

He threw the ball to the air and moved his racket so that the ball slammed into the wall and back to him, who gave it a heavy and dry blow, making it bounce back like in fury, in the same way he returned it, after running where it went.

He took blow after blow with the idea of keeping his mind occupied in that activity, not in the words of his mother, not his girlfriend, not in the future that he didn't know, not in other people's dreams… Not in nothing more than hitting the ball and letting out his frustration, the result of all the events in recent times. He did not remember any time in his life he experienced something similar, he was usually calm and monotonous, without great demonstrations of emotions or feelings and without thoughts of the influence that they could have on his action.

He would never have been hitting the tennis ball so hard or squeezing the handle of the racket so much that he felt his hand hot. But he remembered _all that_ and the day before, when he had walked near Class 3-F and had seen that Ikezawa was very close to Kotoko—which any school activities required—, and unwilled he went back to hitting the ball really hard, imagining the head of certain individual.

And that made him feel more frustrated, because it was ridiculous and pathetic to think that way.

"Naoki-kun!

The shock made him turn to the call of Kotoko, almost behind him.

"Oh!" she cried when the missed ball hit her thigh. With an expression of pain, she started rubbing the area where the ball struck.

He removed her hand and got surprised by the red mark left by the ball, which would become worse. "You'll get a bruise," he noted, frowning by the strength of the blow. "Sorry," he spoke apologetically inadvertently, and surprised himself, though he didn't show it.

It was the first time he said in words that he felt sorry about having done something, and it was caused by an unintentional event.

Kotoko shook her head and continued to massage her leg. "I shouldn't have been there," she said softly.

He nodded. " _That's right_. What did you want?" he asked grumpy.

"It's been five hours. I was talking to you and you weren't listening."

He had to frown but nodded. At least the last training session of the year ended faster than he realized. As temperatures would go down because of the closeness of winter, they would have to stop until spring, although he had a feeling that at that time she would forget all she had learned.

He was surprised, however, of being so into hitting the ball, that he did not respond her calls until she shouted.

"Are you all right, Naoki-kun?" she asked. He nodded. "You seemed angry, did anything happen?"

"What thing could have happened?" he muttered shaking his head.

He went for his things, realizing that she had collected all the balls on the court. Definitely, he had to be very concentrated.

He took the only ball that was on the floor and put it in his pocket while walking beside Kotoko. She was rearranging her red hair in a high ponytail.

"Naoki-kun?" she said after a while. "Do you have plans for your birthday?"

He frowned. On the anniversary of the day he was born, he did nothing special; actually, he did the same activity every year in his room, read, the only difference in the day was that people who knew his birthday, congratulated him. If his mother had her way, she would throw parties like the ones of his childhood, but he wanted none of that nor did he care. It was a common day, and did not give it great importance as Kotoko and her mother seemed to do, copying Western ways that influenced Japan.

"No," he finally said.

"Would you like to play bowling that day?" she asked, although it seemed like a suggestion.

He looked at her for a few seconds; she expected a positive response from him. He thought that activity was more attractive than tutoring her, but he wasn't attracted to the idea of going to a crowded place. Nevertheless, Monday could mean fewer people.

And maybe he could get rid of a pompous dinner done by his mother.

Probably Kotoko wanted to go, so it was better she went with him than with _someone else_.

He shrugged in reply, ignoring that last though.

Kotoko smiled and clapped excitedly. "I'll tell oba-sama!"

Without changing his facial expression, he stared at her, uncomprehending happiness that it caused her.

 **[...]**

Naoki was not surprised by the difficulty with which Kotoko held the ball considered for adults, after refusing a child-sized; she was petite enough to have to battle with the ball of more than eleven pounds in her hand, but also too stubborn to admit that her height and weight were very close to the size of children.

He raised the right corner of his lip with humorousness when he saw her trying to balance with the bright purple ball she had in her right hand, struggling towards the line of the bowling field where she was throwing the ball. They were on the lane thirteen without people in the neighboring alleys; in fact, there wasn't a big number of visitors that day, so he could be calm (especially with the knowledge that his mother would not be out there spying, thanks to his warnings).

Kotoko released her ball and it rolled shortly at the center of the wooden lane before deviating to the left side and finally knocking down one pin.

"Oooh!" Kotoko said jumping with an expression of frustration, clenching her fists. "Why does that always happen?!" She released a string of complaints of her luck.

He laughed softly, watching her. _So typical of her_.

She made her second release and the same was repeated, this time by knocking two pines on the right side.

"Why?!" she muttered crossing her arms.

"If you use a smaller ball, perhaps you'll do it better," he pointed out, taking a red ball thirteen pounds, approaching the shooting line, slightly to the left, to throw the ball towards the center, with the calculation that he made the first time he visited a bowling alley.

"Strike!" Kotoko shouted and pointed at the screen were appeared an X. "Well done, Naoki-kun!"

He rolled his eyes, taking his place again as the Tetracyts of pins appeared at the end of the lane, signaling Kotoko's turn.

With her, clearly he would win, contrary to when his father was involved, he very good at it.

At least, that should be more interesting.

"Take the silver ball," he instructed, standing up again. Kotoko pouted at the size, but nodded, heeding as many times. He walked over to where it would be appropriate for her release, calculating the power of her arm and the weight of the ball. "Stand next to me."

She did it diligently and he saw her hand, where at least she held the ball better.

"Position yourself in this way and try to imitate the movement of my arm," he gestured, showing her the way he spoke, his body slightly inclined, stepping, and swinging his arm with ease. "Then release the ball."

Kotoko nodded and took a breath before repeating what he said. The ball rolled closer to the center, knocking seven pins, leaving three on the right.

"Yes!" She jumped into his arms hugging him warmly and he drew back a second later to return to his place. "Thank you! Thank you!"

He moved his head in acceptance as she picked another ball of similar size, with a resolute expression.

"I have to do the same, but to the right?" She asked him and he nodded in approval. "I'll try."

Only she managed to knock a pine, but it was better than the first frame.

She ran to his side and sat beside him, while pins appeared.

"You," Kotoko pressed her index finger on his arm, making him shudder at her hotter skin, "you're the best, Naoki-kun," she said with a smile. His eyes lingered for a moment in the expression of happiness and admiration of her, which caused an uncomfortable feeling inside of him.

He remembered a time when she had a similar face, eating a delicious meal.

 _Jealousy,_ he thought.

And he ignored it.

He would do well not to think of it again, yes.

With that decision, he stood up and took another ball, making a release.

And he had a Split, with pins 7 and 10 standing at each end of the row, making it difficult to knock both on the next roll.

"Damn," he whispered, deep inside surprised at having a Spare, because he made perfect shots, but _he was in that situation, in which he had never been_.

"Oh! Oh! That's difficult!" Kotoko stated. "I've seen that on TV!" She said appearing beside him, startling him. "You have to hit one pin with a lot of strength and hope that luck let you knock the other."

He glanced at her, listening, and then went for the ball. So… luck? Physically, it was possible to knock one, looking that the force of impact and direction in which the ball was released sent the pine to the opposite side. However, this time he was not tempted to analyze it and make a simple release as Kotoko said, proving how much _luck_ was on his side.

"You can do it Naoki-kun!" Cheered up his girlfriend and he raised his mouth a bit, with his eyes on the pin on the right. He made his hard release.

…incredulously, to see the two pins fall.

"You did it, Naoki-kun!" Kotoko exclaimed throwing at him with joy. He was stunned for a moment, watching the result. "You are amazing. The birthday luck!"

He smiled going to his place, _luck_ … She celebrating as if it had great importance.

"Your turn," he remembered, as he watched her still dancing in his favor.

The next eight rounds, he had to admit, were _entertaining_ , mainly thanks to Kotoko, whose victory dance even made laugh people who were standing nearby. She was excited for so little in a big and genuine way, affecting others.

Initially he did not think it would go over well, because it was a pressure for him to see her enjoying something, when he could not. Being so good, he rarely get to have a good time with some activity, he did them as if he was reading an instruction or watching a movie, where there was necessarily something to follow, prescribed, that led to an end.

After finishing, they went to the neighboring restaurant to the bowling and took a table for two. He was listening to her babbling about how exciting the game had been and still celebrating the triumph of him, though she managed to have a good score.

Shortly after ordering their food, Kotoko leaned to the table, leaning towards him.

"And what you think of this birthday?" she questioned him, playing with her straw, looking at him.

Naoki reached out his hand when he saw she would almost throw the contents of her glass, forcing her to move away from this. What did he think of that birthday?

If he thought about it, it was the first year he did something different and, even aware of that, it did not bother him… more surprising was that her presence did not bother him too, he felt good with it. He was already accepting her company, but _something_ unsettled him sometimes and it was related to the word said by his mother.

He put that aside from his head and shrugged, answering quietly.

"I'm very glad, Naoki-kun, I wanted to do something fun for you to… _stress-free… you_ ," she said with difficulty, "of the worry about what you will do in the future. And because I want you to be happy," she ended, when the waiter and their food arrived.

With her self-absorbed watching her food, he smiled, also in response to her sincere words.

Kotoko was really someone to regret having?

* * *

 **AN:** _I had (and still have) a LOT of problems with this chapter, ha,ha. I wrote a lot of synonims because in Spanish there are words with difficult to express in English. So, if I used wrong words, I'd appreciate your comment._

 _ **With love, Karo.**_

* * *

lKWwJ: Idk, this writing is kind of difficult to read, but thanks.

YVXwj: Idk is is for real, but thanks.

Guest: Ha,ha, they will have other problems, Kin-chan is just nothing. I don't feel particularly inclined to use jealousy in my fics, though. Sometimes I prefer they inner thoughts than outsiders. Anyway, let's hope you like the next chapters.


	17. The result of inner battles

**Chapter 17**

 **The result of inner battles**

* * *

With the towel on his neck, Naoki left the bathroom and walked past the half-open door of Kotoko's bedroom. She was there with her two friends, who accompanied them home that evening to study with her, due to the closeness of the exams that would define the entrance to Tonan university—he knew, thanks to his girlfriend, that many put their hopes in that college.

The two girls were there to take advantage of Kotoko, the school number fifty, who managed to keep the position on the list because —according to Watanabe— the boy from class C had surrendered, saying that _the genius' girl_ would be difficult to overcome, having him.

A simpleton, in Naoki's view, that clearly didn't deserve a place on the board if he did not put any effort and had those thoughts.

If instead, his girlfriend had the position; it was because she had proved to be better for this. It was obvious that, as she stated at the beginning, Kotoko had it very clear that _she would_ _make him feel proud_. For others, again, it was obvious why she was " _his girl_ " as they said.

Disdainfully, he thought that only one person was blind to that fact.

 _At least Ikezawa was not there to study_.

"Kotoko, we don't understand!" Exclaimed one of her friends, and he stopped to listen. He did not have to go in, because the presence of the friends had freed him of being tutor. _And there were only two of them_ _(no other_ friends _)_.

"Yes, we don't understand you, maybe you have good scores, but you're not very good at explaining," agreed on the other, who should be Jinko, more frankly.

Naoki rolled his eyes.

"We better read your notes, maybe we can decipher them."

He held back a laugh and continued the way to his room, closing after entering, noting that Yuuki was reading a robotic magazine for children, entertained. He moved his head, placing his towel on the rack, sitting at his laptop for a game of chess before bedtime.

"Satomi, do you think that next to the room where Irie studies we can catch his intelligence?" He heard, a while later, on the other side of the door.

The girl talked in very high volume.

Naoki, like his ototo, turned in that direction, rolling their eyes.

"Dunno, but we lose nothing standing here a few minutes. And, do you think Kotoko could lend her boyfriend some time to teach us?"

Yuuki laughed softly and he looked with disdain at the door. Pair of idiots.

"What are you talking about?" Kotoko asked then. "And what are you two doing here? I left just a moment and now I find you in front of Naoki-kun and Yuuki-kun's room.

"We wanted to know if we can infect of Irie-san's intelligence," Jinko explained.

He smiled listening to Kotoko's laugh. "That's ridiculous!" she said. "Let's go to my room! Naoki-kun will be angry if he hears you."

Too late, he said in the mind, turning back to the screen, where he finished the game. Then, he opened the browser to search a page of scientific articles and pressed one link related to advances in motoring engineering.

"I'll go for cookies," Yuuki announced loudly as if he needed alert, and Naoki nodded, while paying attention to the English text.

Someone called to the door, with Kotoko's way of knocking, and interrupted him, even though Yuuki hadn't returned.

"Come in," he said with no humor.

There was a change in the air in the room with every step he heard her give towards him.

"Naoki-kun?"

"What do you want?" he asked, continuing his reading until the period.

"Can you review these problems of physics?" She whispered and he sighed, because she was terrible at that subject, getting him to fall flat on his face every time he taught a new lesson to her.

He reached out his hand and she placed her notebook in his palm. He put it before him and found problems of universal gravitation, which he hadn't reviewed with her yet.

He denied and returned the notebook.

"What is wrong?"

"You've misused the equation and units of measurement are different. They must be equivalent."

"Oh. Equal, equal, good. Can you solve the first to serve us as an example?" She ventured.

He sighed and asked for the notebook and pencil. He solved the problem easily in the next sheet, and returned it to her promptly.

"What?!" He looked over his shoulder; Kotoko's friends were waiting at the door. "Not even a minute!"

He shrugged, his girlfriend laughed, she would have reacted the same if she had not witnessed it before. It the first time, she had the same response.

"Thanks, Naoki-kun."

"Close the door behind you."

When he heard the click, he turned his back to the desk and looked at the place where Kotoko had disappeared. He thought that she had made an astonishing progress since he tutored her the first time, when she would not have dared to solve a physics problem and instead would've come to him with a blank notebook for him to solve the exercise.

Her reaction would have been like the ones of her friends and she'd have jumped to the next opportunity for him to solve her homework, rather than arriving with solved exercises and seeking correction. Moreover, she would have returned countless times to asked for help, trying to convince him with a look of need.

He felt the corner of his lip rise and thought briefly, _was she really the only one who behaved differently?_

The door opened again and he kept his composure quickly taking advantage of Yuuki looking at the cookies on his plate.

"Do you want one, Onii-chan?" asked his brother.

He nodded and took a cookie from his brother, then took it to his mouth and bit down, quickly feeling the sweet flavor of chocolate, which made him frown.

He found that Yuuki mimicked his expression.

 _Since when did he accept the sweet stuff?_

What a stupid thing, he determined. He shrugged his shoulders; it was just a cookie.

 **[...]**

A body fell into Naoki's chest, making him put his book in one hand and hold whom he recognized as Kotoko while maintaining balance.

"Sorry. Let's go," she said breathlessly, holding his wrist to go to the station to their way home.

"Kotoko!" Naoki listened behind the chorus of people calling her, feeling her hand that held him tense. "Please!"

What the hell?, he thought, not knowing whether to trust her feeling that it was right to rush him and handle him, or to let go, because he hated being controlled.

He risked the second, forcing Kotoko to slow down the pace.

"Don't!" she exclaimed in a frightened tone, making him raise his brow.

He looked at her. "What is happening?" he asked, watching her frightened eyes looking back at what was making her move faster.

He saw over his shoulder, where, crowded together, a plague of young people of different size followed them. Twenty-three students, exactly. Without having to guess, seeing the faces of her friends, they were from F.

"Don't let everyone see my eyes," she pleaded hiding her face against his chest when the quick steps of the others reached them.

"Kotoko, help us!" they chorused.

He took off Kotoko from himself and crossed his eyes with hers. She hesitated. "What is this?"

"Pleaaaaseeee!" They shrieked, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

Kotoko shook her head and unexpectedly ran towards the station. The others followed her promptly.

Naoki frowned without moving. What do the idiots might want with his girlfriend? Disgusted, he thought that help with the impending examination, as her friends did.

"Kotoko, watch out!" His heart jumped and hastily headed for the direction taken by them, turning around the corner breathing hard, slightly worried about what might have happened to her in her flight.

A car accident went through his head.

The F Class, now silent, made way for him and he saw Kotoko on the sidewalk, with Jinko and Satomi at her side, the latter handing her a napkin, which his girlfriend used to place on her knee, that he imagined was scraped as he not could see it.

A boy, he didn't care who was, approached and gave a bottle of water to Satomi, who moistened another napkin, which she started to give to Kotoko.

Stupid people.

He sighed irritably, coming to them after having stopped to watch the scene, recovering the normal rhythm of breathing and heartbeat.

There was no use of saying something about Kotoko's clumsiness appearing at the worst time, but at least it was not something more serious. If that had happened, he did not know what he would have done. "She faints seeing blood," he muttered trying not to think of that scene.

He reached toward the brown-haired asking for the wet napkin, before kneeling in front of Kotoko. He tried to remove the dry napkin on her knee, which was already stuck to the wound and made her hiss when he tried to peel it off.

"The water," he ordered to Satomi, who gave it to him solicitously. "You're gonna feel it cold," he told Kotoko, who nodded and closed her eyes when he was about to pour some water on the napkin on her knee, so that it was easier to remove it.

He saw the wound on her knee was very superficial, although her drama should be from the shock. He cleaned it with water, thinking he would disinfect it at home, and handed the things to Satomi, without looking, to throw them away.

He held out a hand to Kotoko to help her stand up, and spoke firmly: "I do not want to repeat again, what's going on here?"

"My classmates want me to convince you to be their teacher these days before the test."

And, apparently, they were as insistent as she could be. He imagined them going home to insist until she accepted. At least Kotoko realized it was a request to which he was not convinced to participate, although her almond eyes seemed very hesitant, looking at him and them alternatively.

He suspected those would not get tired. In addition, if they continued to harass her, they could cause a worse that accident, or torment her at all times and, true to the possible facts, they would ruin her chances to study for the most important exam she had… so his months of work would be useless.

"Please, teach us, _Irie-sama_!" They pleaded in one voice. She cowered looking at him with terror.

Naoki made a slight sound of annoyance with his mouth, it was no a reason to be afraid of him; he was only demanding, not the tyrant who made him believe with that look. _It was unpleasant_.

"All right, let's go," he said before regretting it, picking up both briefcases sidewalk.

"What!" Kotoko exclaimed, accepting hers.

"The faster we get home, the sooner they leave," he said, slightly decreasing his pace seeing her limping.

"Did Y'all hear, guys?! Irie-san accepted!" Shouted one of her friends, he did not care which one, mainly because they were participating in this nonsense.

"I'll stay behind to wait for the next train with some of them, because now the subway is very full," said the other friend.

Naoki glanced at the slumped shoulders of Kotoko; he did not know if that was for losing "quality time" with him, or because she was feeling guilty.

She better didn't think he was content with that agreement; he simply did it so he didn't waste his month's work with her. And, because he felt that they would insist him too, not just her.

He gave a deep sigh. He sensed that he would have four unfortunate days.

 **[...]**

After resolving the mathematical equations in the small board that his mother had provided from somewhere, Naoki closed his eyes and rotated his head to ease the pressure he felt on his shoulders. He was giving time to F students to copy the exercises done by him and then he would proceed to explain them.

He felt grateful that Ikezawa not among those students, he was not so comfortable with the idea of listening to him there, after the last time he was at his home and the constant disturbing in his relationship with Kotoko. Ikezawa Kinnosuke, at the time, was a persona non grata*.

They simply could not ask Naoki to teach him after his recent visit, which caused him a tumult of unpleasant thoughts in his head. Also, after a visit that led to a word that, said by his mother, kept in his consciousness, bugging his sleep, or the times when he was not reading.

The constant reading served him not to be thinking about his own life, or in its situations, giving him the best distraction to the different realities.

On second thought, deal with Class F served him to keep his head on other issues. Although, the enthusiasm and effort that all of them showed caused him a feeling that he did not want in his chest or in his mind. It had been around since the first day.

He opened his eyes again, seeing that the students were still writing down; askance, he noticed Kotoko pointing something in a brown-haired girl's notebook, who smiled to his girlfriend, before nodding and keeping writing. Kotoko had been assisting those two days that he had been teaching her classmates, often offering him water because "he had to talk a lot."

She cared deeply for his needs, and she had more interest in that than in helping others, something engraved in her sparkling personality.

It was praiseworthy.

Some figures moved at the entrance to the room and he saw his parents under the doorjamb, smiling; although, the one that caught his attention the most was the proud expression that his mother wore on her face, that rarely she shown for him.

"Are you ready?" he asked, pushing the strange feeling caused by the gaze of his mother.

"Yes, great Irie-sensei!" exclaimed his "students"… _all with dreams put in reaching the university and the multiple purposes of their lives_.

He sighed and met Kotoko's smile before putting his attention on the equations and the explanations of how they were resolved.

 **[...]**

After entering the darkened room, Naoki walked with slow steps to the window, where the false brightness of the moon shone dimly through the curtains, one of which he opened. He checked that the light did not bother Yuuki, who slept peacefully in a deep sleep, making him feel envious.

He leaned against the wall that was part of the window and saw the outside, without actually doing so; the focus of his pupils was the glass, clouding the world outside his sight. He was looking without seeing.

He already spent three days teaching F students. Days in which they were treating him almost like a god, the greatest genius and the best teacher of all, the kindest and most selfless person in the universe… A person that taught the poor students that wanted to graduate from high school to fulfill their dreams, which they thought they could do so thanks to him, who didn't ask anything in return.

Mistakenly, Kotoko's classmates were giving a different perspective, something more valuable than what he was giving them. Perhaps that was true, that sometimes you gave more than what you received, and in his opinion, _they were doing it with him_ (giving him more). Although he'd not admit it, and they thought it was the other way.

For everyone was the same, even though he knew it was the opposite. No one could get an idea of what was going through his head, which he was surprised to think about it sometimes.

All the F treated him like the best, and, while they frustrated him, he felt surprised by their ability to try to continue. That should be what Koujiro was trying to say about mixing with different students; perhaps before it was impossible for him to see.

He sighed and the window subtly fogged.

They acted as if he was best, as he would have expected it… _a year ago_.

Although it would've been annoying for him, he would have thought of it as "good" back then… but now, he knew that it wasn't, and all of them were wrong to consider him the best. Except for his mother, who put truth before his eyes—though they stung sometimes—, others were wrong. Nevertheless, his mother knew a little more of him than others and he realized it by the way she insinuated things, that he mostly ignored for his own convenience and mental well-being… _but often she was right_.

With what she said and what was happening to him, with what he was living in that year, with the number of changes, with the differences and similarities that found in others… With watching, listening…, and analyzing, and reflecting, he had reached bitter and emphatic conclusions.

If others knew that, he was not what everyone believed and that even sometimes he believed too much.

He was not _the best_.

He did not have a life path; he did not know what to do. He was a genius and being so smart was a burden, everybody expected something from him.

How to say he had no idea what to do with his life? How to say he could not find a goal? That he did not know how was having dreams? That he did not understand or share the enthusiasm of others for the future?

How could he say that he did not even know if he was able to live in the future following the same facade, lying to himself, deceiving, walking with his head held high, in an arrogant and condescending attitude, when he had no idea who he was and what he wanted with his life?

How, when he felt like… _like a failure_ …

He clenched his hands.

He was no more than a farce of someone successful, wearing a curse of being so smart and not connect with others by how different they were to him, who could do many things, but not really enjoying life… That the successes others saw in him, were attempts to feel and experience the reality, to obtain a joy and live like others; it was his attempt to be another human being, with the opportunity to fail and not only win, something he achieved easily with his abilities.

How to express that he had been losing interest and just kept walking in a world where everything was repetitive and tiring, frustrating… a world in which the answers were easily given to him?

 _Although_ only recently it was not completely that way… it began to change _because of Kotoko_.

Every time he thought of her came with a strange feeling, not of indifference; and thinking of her caused him more torment in his displeasure.

However, despite her, not finding what to do with his life, when many do easily, made it difficult to stop the feeling that _he was a joke that got nothing_. That, although he did well in anything, in the most important and interesting thing for him, _what he would do_ , he couldn't triumph. Instead, he felt amid a maze, with thousands of ways to reach the exit. He was lost.

He felt his eyes water. He lowered his eyelids and covered his face with his palms, feeling painfully ridiculous, and frustrated, tired.

Tired of being _him_.

Weighed down of reflecting and coming to nothing.

Why was it so hard, why his ability did not allow him a way out?

He swallowed.

He separated from the window and laid down on the bed, eyes closed, pretending to "forget" that moment of weakness and invade his mind with the way of acting that he should show. A façade that he showed to others and that led him to believe it himself.

…because these uncertain times, he only witnessed them, and him alone, although in the back of his head unconsciously he took them as a burden, and a _reminder_ to not be seen by others as weak. A person hid by the Naoki Irie, who many admired and envied, but did not know actually.

 _Because that was the way he walked every day, hiding his real self, for many more reasons than he just had named to himself._

And that Naoki was someone no one would know.

 **[...]**

On Friday night, after the departure of F students, Naoki went to the back terrace of the house and sat on a chair beside the table out there, shaking his head to relieve tension contained on his shoulders after those tiring days.

In the sessions, despite everything, the F students had surprised him for their ability to catch some things in short time.

It did not matter, he had given them the knowledge, and it was up to them whether they passed or not. The results would be released the Monday of the first week of December.

He enjoyed the silence, the rest of his family had gone to Shigeo-san's restaurant and he was alone with Kotoko, who was unusually quiet.

"Thank you for helping my classmates, they appreciate it a lot." She spoke gently, going out at that time, and gave him a cup of hot tea, to which he nodded. "And you have given them hope, Naoki-kun. I still think you could be a great teacher."

"No thanks." He felt her hands trying to give a very rude "massage", so he grabbed her wrist, inviting her to sit in the chair beside him. "Dealing with a lot of silly people takes away my desire," he said half-jokingly, half telling the truth.

Kotoko laughed softly. "This is my fault."

"No," he replied. Without pause, he added, "I'm surprised in their interest in studying college, when they have insufficient skills."

"Well, but they put a lot of effort."

Naoki exhaled deeply.

"Yes." And he had seen what it did.

"Soon we'll find your career," Kotoko whispered, placing a hand over his on the table, and he, at that time, did not reject the gesture.

In another moment, he would have doubted whether there was really anything made for him, but looking at her and the way her eyes glittered, he knew her persistence would not lessen until she found his career, and he felt slightly rubbed off her confidence. Also, he felt grateful to her and wished she didn't change, because, undoubtedly, he preferred her like that. Although sometimes she exasperated him, that characteristic was another part of the Kotoko that earned the liking of many.

 _Even his_.

This time, much calmer, he thought of the word "jealousy," said by his mother, and, watching Kotoko, knowing how she was, he decided that she was right, and accepted the implications. Apparently, he was not as immune to some emotions, he was jealous.

How many times had he been?

Jealous.

Especially of Ikezawa, to whom Kotoko didn't look at; that guy had made him feel angry and frustrated by his interest and moves to her. Of course, the other had seen the value of his girlfriend, so Naoki was not surprised that Ikezawa felt attracted to her. It was obvious.

Yes, he was jealous, and it was a reality, even if he wanted to ignore it, deny it or justify it.

He surrendered to the facts, no longer fighting or getting angry about it. Her personality, her qualities, even her faults, that made her who she was, he valued. Because…

 _He liked Kotoko_.

She was not the great woman who once he thought he would prefer, nor she stood out by her intelligence, but he liked her. And that's why it was difficult to treat her sometimes, because what he felt for her was different from his relationship with others; she caused him different feelings, until then unknown to his body, and he could not control completely how he acted because he didn't know their source, until now. He liked Kotoko; he did not know if it was a curse or a blessing, but he liked who she was and how she was, even if people considered crazy for thinking of it.

Well, in moments it was a "blessing", though some things riled him out at the beginning, later _they made him think and feel different_. _Act differently_.

He smiled to himself and put a hand on her neck, brushing her hair, pulling her face to him to give her a slow kiss, without any reason behind it. Actually, he did not mind having to kiss her, just not in public, even without a reason behind. Obviously, he would not always kiss her all times; it was not in his nature.

He wouldn't constantly kiss her; however, this time, carried away by his acceptance of liking her, he wanted to do it.

He took off his lips of Kotoko, whose eyes shined in the night, and she said, "Naoki-kun, I love you", before being her who gently pressed her lips on his.

 _He already knew_ _it_.

Nevertheless, for a moment, it hit him the profoundness that seemed to surround those words, but he liked to hear them.

And he felt satisfied.

* * *

*Unwelcomed person

* * *

 _ **AN: This is the midpart of the fic, after this chapter, time is going to pass quicker.**_

 _Just the first half took me a long time, I had a lot of work left. O.o_

 ** _Love, Karo._**


	18. It depends on how you look at it

**Chapter 18**

 **It depends on how you look at it**

* * *

"Have you heard what people say?" Naoki looked up from his book to Watanabe, _who always tried to find out things that happened_.

Naoki had realized a long time ago that his friend liked rumors. He didn't know if his career choice, Law, would be suited for him, because sometimes Watanabe's good ear for rumors, gave him the impression that he should be a journalist. Although his opinion wasn't needed and, also, his friend had qualities that would serve him in Law and had his mind set in that future… something Naoki lacked, so he shouldn't be one to talk.

He raised an eyebrow and Watanabe took the chair in front of him.

"All Class F's students, except one, have passed examinations and have the opportunity to graduate and go to Tonan if they want," mentioned his classmate amazed. Naoki nodded, thinking that the only missing was Ikezawa, probably because he was the only one who did not attend to his tutoring.

He didn't know whether Ikezawa didn't attend due to pride, disgust or disinterest, but it was better for him because he wouldn't have to help the guy who had _too many_ attentions with his girlfriend.

"Apparently, this does not surprise you," pointed his friend. He shrugged. "I guess after seeing Aihara-san's skills, it isn't strange."

Naoki released a low laugh.

"If only you knew," he murmured when the bell to start class rang.

"Young students, the last stage of your school studies at Tonan begins," said his sensei entering the classroom, drawing everyone's attention for the next lesson.

That was the way of his sensei to start the last part of the academic year. For the last year's, the third trimester began almost in December, as the university exams were close; otherwise, their exams would be on next week and the last trimester would start in January.

"I know it will be tough. The entrance test to the best universities are close and these are very important, more difficult than the common ones, but I trust you, Class A."

Naoki rolled his eyes; there they were, again with the same. And he still was anywhere.

Well, if by February he didn't have a clue about a path, he'd work one year at Pandai to find out if he should give it a chance in his future, perhaps not as its president, but in another area. He would do it to don't feel that he was not doing anything with his life… that he didn't have a dream, or that he didn't know what to do or where to go…

He needed it to don't feel that he was…

He wanted to have the same faith that Kotoko had in him, because she trusted that he would take Todai test happily knowing his career; she even had the purpose of occupying the winter holidays just in that. Meanwhile… he thought there was nothing that could give real meaning to his life.

He sighed.

 _He should stop his self-pity act. It was stupid and improper for him._

He was not a failure.

Moreover, he should value the great efforts that Kotoko made for him.

 **[…]**

"My teacher wept with emotion when he said the grades today," Kotoko commented at his side with impressed voice.

There was a silent moment, so Naoki gave her a surreptitious glance. She smiled, after shaking her head, and removed her hand from her stomach.

"Kin-chan did not approve, but he bragged he already has a plan to get ahead of us in society."

He rolled his eyes, crinkling his nose after the mention of the guy.

"Satomi told him that this was an excuse, though he only laughed, saying she was jealous. I cannot think what he can do if he doesn't pass the exams to graduate." Kotoko laughed. "His face, when the teacher asked him to study after school with him, was funny."

He gave a slight laugh at that. Ikezawa deserved it; he shouldn't have put any effort to pass that exam.

"I've been thinking all day and I don't see you like that thing of Crimonilogy."

"Criminology," he corrected. That was the last one of C, after too many sciences and other professions starting with that letter. She had continued to devote her time to him and his dilemma, sometimes even exceeding his interest. She made it so carefully as if it was for her and he should feel embarrassed, but it made him feel proud of her and indebted.

Sometimes he wished he had her determination and persistence.

Kotoko made several attempts without finding the right word.

"Criminology," he repeated, not bothering to do it.

"Well, that!" Kotoko said, giving up. He snorted, amused. "And I thought of you as a detective, like this man in movies, Sherlock Holmes." He rolled his eyes without saying that the idea came from a series of books. "I pictured you solving difficult crimes and catching the bad guys… and you like mystery books."

Naoki shook his head, hardly think about it; he wasn't interested. Investigating crimes could have his dose of adrenaline and novelty, but it was very close to the police, and he did not want to get involved in a system that he often questioned.

"What about becoming a dentist? That's with D, it should be next on the list."

The next ones were Dancer and Database Administrator, but even so, he replied:

"Aren't you skipping to O?"

"O?" Kotoko asked frowning her eyebrows.

He snorted again. It wasn't important for her that it was "Odontologist" in her list. "It doesn't matter. And no, I'm not interested in spending a lifetime exploring the mouth of others."

Moreover, he felt dislike by the mere thought.

She started laughing and he smiled slyly.

"And designer?" asked Kotoko later.

"What kind of?" he said, without much interest in that area, opening the gate of their house.

"There are many?"

He nodded.

"I did not know… uh… clothes?"

They finished going up the stairs. The door opened before he did; his mother received them on the other side.

"Kotoko-chan, did you forget it?" asked his mother and his girlfriend frowned.

"What did I?" she questioned her, with fear in her voice. Naoki, intrigued, watched his mother.

"No, no, it's nothing serious. But remember that today I'm going with Dad to a dinner and you will cook," his mother explained, waving her right hand in a conciliatory gesture.

"It is safe?" He could not help but ask, before heading to the stairs.

"Onii-chan! Kotoko-chan has greatly improved."

"To cook an entire meal?" He asked, scowling. It was an important doubt.

Kotoko blushed, but he did not rethink. His mother was giving her too much responsibility; she must see the reality, even if she trusted his girlfriend. Kotoko was bad in the kitchen, her many attempts ended in failure, or at least, that was the last thing he knew, thanks to Yuuki.

His brother was more interested in that because, despite accepting her, he still bothered sometimes, especially with her lack of culinary skills, her worst quality.

"She can do it, right, Kotoko-chan?"

His girlfriend, without hesitation, nodded.

He sighed and shrugged. If both thought it was safe, he should try it, even if he wasn't sure.

…Therefore, when he came down at dinnertime, he gave a scornful look to the dishes, trying to guess what they were, because their appearance was rare.

"Weren't you better?" He had to ask, watching the brown liquid with a meat and some vegetables in a bowl, imagining that it could be a kind of stew, like the recipes of his mother.

Being honest, he asked himself if eating something that did not look appetizing could be wrong.

Yuuki made the sound of gagging.

His girlfriend placed the last dish with a decent—at least—rice and laughed a little.

"I wanted to try something new and impress you," she said, biting her lower lip.

"Well, this is disgusting, baka," condemned Yuuki in an exaggerated way, which made her drop her face in shame.

Naoki sighed. "It's what we have to eat," he muttered, without reprimanding Yuuki, but also without giving a favorable opinion to Kotoko. He could not lie about that, the broth didn't encourage him to eat.

At least he hoped he wasn't extremely unpleasant with his words.

He tasted the food, and grimaced at the salty broth, although the meat and the vegetables were well cooked. Perhaps she had to be far away of the salt and leave everybody to add it at their liking.

He bit a piece of meat and it hit him, excessively, the taste of spices that flavored the broth.

Besides him, Yuuki did the same face… even Kotoko, who blushed in deep crimson and made an expression of disgust.

He tried the rice and noticed the taste was much better. At least she did something edible with the practiced things. If she had not left her comfort zone, the dinner would have been better.

Naoki thought that if he combined the broth with the rice, he could finish eating, although spices let his tongue irritated. However, he should definitely make her swear not to try new things when she wasn't supervised. Of course, if she had plans to cook in the future.

"You don't need to finish, we could try for a take-out," Kotoko said in a whisper.

"That's a waste," he spoke, before Yuuki. "We won't throw away food," he reprimanded his brother. "Just eat the broth with the rice, it tastes better."

"Naoki-kun…"

His brother sighed audibly. "All right, onii-chan."

He looked at Kotoko, who ate almost nothing of the dinner, and toyed with the rest of her meal. Maybe from shame.

Of course, he was not going to fool her saying that what she did was good. He liked her, but it did not mean he had to be blind to reality. The meal she had done was awful, he should let her know, but he understood that _she did her best and that was better than his own empty successes_.

 **[…]**

The next morning, Naoki found the bathroom door open and went in to brush his teeth, stopping short when he saw the messy figure of Kotoko, who had her blouse and pants unkempt, her hair tangled and her eyes red; an appearance that stunned him. She must have fallen asleep, as she wasn't wearing her uniform yet.

"Such bad appearance," he remarked, more as a joke, though his tone did not let a glimpse of it.

She stirred and opened her eyes, before covering her face and trying to style her hair, though it remained messy.

He let out a laugh. "Don't take it so seriously," he said, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush and rinsing his mouth before cleaning it.

He saw her looking at him between her fingers and rolled his eyes. At that moment, she put her hands to her sides, without taking her eyes off him, frowning some seconds.

He used mouthwash, wondering if she intended to stay all the time looking and not preparing for school. She looked away and he imagined if it would be one of the issues of women barely speak to men.

Naoki shrugged, he didn't have that kind of intimacy with her to bring it up, so he hurried to leave the bathroom, but he realized she still did not move, and instead she put a hand close to her stomach.

"Don't be late to school," he advised, deciding not to wait for her at home and give her time to go out when she considered it appropriate; she could see his presence as a way to rush her.

She nodded, her face slightly rosy, and closed the bathroom door behind him.

 **[…]**

Naoki saw Kotoko shrink as they walked back home and frowned, puzzled by her period. He didn't think her menses could cause such a degree of pain, as in recent months she never showed such responses, and he saw her daily, so hardly some things go unnoticed ( _a few days_ —he dared not consciously do the math—she acted differently).

He stopped a few steps ahead of her. She, reaching him, smiled as though nothing had happened, but her face was slightly flushed.

"Are you well?" he asked politely.

She waved her head. "Yes, it's nothing."

During the way home, he continued observing her, wondering if, indeed, the female period that caused those reactions. She seemed strange and, for a moment, he saw her put her hand in a place that wasn't her underbelly. He could not see, due to her baggy school uniform, if she had inflammation.

On leaving the station, she returned to shrink her body, holding now her stomach.

"Kotoko…"

"I'm fine, really."

He sighed, if she did not want to tell him, to insist would be useless. Besides, he was not used to it. They kept walking in silence.

"Naoki-kun… I…" He turned towards her and moved quickly seeing that her eyes became white and she was beginning to pass out.

"Kotoko!" he yelled, dropping his briefcase and holding her in his arms, watching as her head fell back.

She had fainted.

He had a feeling of dread. She was boiling.

He knelt on the floor with her in his arms and listened to, with his heart racing, steps coming closer to where they were. "Kotoko," he called, patting her on the cheek, worried by her temperature and her lack of reaction. "Hell, wake up," he said; ordering his head to keep cool, thinking about the seriousness of what she could have, ignoring his heartbeat and concern in a part in his mind, now, not so important.

He needed her awoken to tell him what she felt.

"Do I call an ambulance?" asked someone, just when he saw that she was beginning to blink.

He denied without speaking. He would take her directly to the hospital now he saw that she reacted. That way he would not separate from her.

He watched her take her hands to her stomach. "Naoki-kun, it hurts," she whispered with a little sweat on her forehead.

"Where it hurts, specifically?" he questioned, and she held her stomach, although she deviated her hand slightly to the right.

"I… I'm dizzy."

For a moment, it crossed his mind that she had something serious, but denied, as he was not a doctor to assert it, it was his concern for her that made him think so. In addition, he expected to be something of the appendix, the place where her hand was.

"I'll take you to the hospital," he said and saw how the passerby stopped a taxi. He thanked him with a nod.

He rose with Kotoko in arms, who leaned her head to his shoulder, amid quivers, and placed her in the vehicle carefully before entering too. He thanked the passerby as he handed him their belongings and, also, closed the door. He let the taxi-driver speeded up heading to the nearest hospital, to which they were assigned.

"I think… the food…" Kotoko whispered, softly, and a shiver ran down that made him frown.

"No," he cut her monologue. "Yuuki or I would have had the same reaction," he assured; her food had been very bad, but hadn't given them serious consequences to their stomachs.

He let her lean on his arm during the way to the hospital and, after paying, he helped her get in, directing her to a nurse on duty, to whom he quickly explained the situation. Promptly the nurse took her to the cubicle of a physician.

After that, he waited a long time until the physician went out and gave him news about Kotoko, who would be operated for appendicitis, beyond giving her drug treatment. He did not fully understand what they said but relied on the judgment of physician.

However, he wondered how long she remained silent of her pain, when he sought information about it—he wanted to know, unsure with ignorance.

In the middle of his reading, he realized that he should call their relatives.

 **[…]**

"Can we go into Kotoko-chan's room?"

Naoki rolled his eyes and turned to the page of the magazine in the waiting room. That was the umpteenth time his mother asked the question; it had been almost five minutes since the last time she had asked the same.

"In a few minutes," he answered for the first time, calculating the time of the surgery and the anesthesia to pass its effect, so that they let them enter. He took into account what the surgeons had said before.

Shigeo-san, at his side, sighed with relief. According to what his mother told him, he associated hospitals with the death of his wife and was distressed with her daughter in one of them, even though the operation was a simple procedure for the surgeon, as a nurse tried to reassure him.

He could not question his father-in-law, because he wasn't a father and was unaware of the concern that gave him the welfare of his daughter, with the history he had with hospitals.

For a brief moment, Naoki was concerned about Kotoko, but not enough to be clouded and, once he knew what it was, the remnants of his reactions disappeared. So, he went to the hospital cafeteria while she was being operated, then joined his family in the waiting room when they arrived, doing his homework calmly, without particular attention to the constant sounds of the hospital.

 _Why was he lying?_ For a brief moment, he was _afraid_ ; a feeling linked to ignorance of the situation, his not enough actions, and… because it was a person very close to him.

Now he was in his usual composure. However, he had never felt that kind of confusion and insecurity, much less that fear that something could fail because of the lack of control of the circumstances, even with his ability. Even more with someone linked to him.

 _He could not know everything; before he was aware of it… just he had never had it so clear._

He sighed.

The nurse on duty called them and led them to Kotoko's room, only occupied by her.

Shigeo-san and his mother ran to where his girlfriend was beginning to wake up. His father was with Yuuki at home because his brother was not allowed to enter, but his mother had just phoned them.

"Young man, visiting hours ended an hour and a half ago; you only have ten minutes to see the patient. She needs to rest," informed him a nurse different than earlier, this seemed younger. He frowned; she was the fifth one that he had seen in those hours, watching him a bit much, as if he didn't notice.

How annoying.

He gave a nod in response.

"Kotoko-chan."

"Kotoko."

The aforementioned shook her head, a little disoriented. "Dad? Oba-sama?" She moved her head slightly. "Naoki-kun? What happened?"

"Kotoko-chan, we're so happy you're okay."

"Daughter, do not ever scare us like that."

He approached the bed and sat in the chair next to it, placing both school bags on the floor. He noted that the adults were confusing her.

"You had an appendix surgery hours ago," he explained, crossing his arms.

Kotoko blinked and wanted to sit; watching that the others did nothing, he approached, preventing her from stretching the area that was operated on, where she placed her hand with a grimace.

"It's already night?" she asked, looking away to the window.

"Yes," said his mother. "I'll stay with you."

His girlfriend shook her head.

"There's no need, oba-sama, and you have to be home. Nor do you have to stay, Dad. I'm fine. The people here will look after me." She smiled at everyone, in the way she always did, although she must be slightly bothered by the recent operation, and did not show it. "I am sorry to have worried you."

"Then, onii-chan…" His mother replied.

"No," Kotoko interrupted, raising her hand with micropore tape and an IV. "There's school tomorrow, and I'm just going to sleep."

"Oh, Kotoko-chan…"

"Does the patient need something?" Interrupted a different nurse, appearing at the entrance.

Naoki rolled his eyes, he preferred the older of a few hours ago; that woman didn't avert her gaze to him, like this one.

"No," Kotoko said, frowning when he saw the nurse came and stood close to him, to "adjust" her pillow.

Her perfume dizzied him.

"His brother has been here a lot of time, doesn't he want something?" Asked the nurse turning to him with a big smile and he had to admire her inventiveness.

"The patient is me," Kotoko muttered, causing the nurse to nod, still looking at him.

He laughed and saw that Kotoko opened her eyes wide, clenching her hands into fists, putting her knuckles white.

"Kotoko-chan is not my son's sister," announced his mother. "She is _his_ girlfriend. And you can now leave us alone," she muttered, while Shigeo-san seemed amused by the situation.

The young nurse turned red and nodded, leaving the room without looking at anyone.

"Those women," grumbled his mother and Kotoko at the same time. Shigeo-san and he laughed in unison, amused.

Kotoko leaned on the pillow with a tired expression; he imagined that the effect of anesthesia was the one that did so, and felt it was best to let her rest, knowing that the next day, after so long in bed, she would want to climb the walls. She would be discharged on Thursday morning, if there were no complications, let them know the surgeon, but "it is sure there won't be, it was the right time, without peritonitis".

In a few days, they would take away the knots, but she should do quiet activities for two and a half weeks to three, after the medical discharge.

His mother had said she would be responsible for caring for her daughter, who at the time yawned.

"Tomorrow we will come to see you, Kotoko-chan, but for now, rest."

She laid on the bed and all three were prepared to leave.

Kotoko held his hand, stopping him. "Thanks, Naoki-kun."

He snorted and shook his head slightly, pulling away after a few seconds.

"Don't pretend to be well again," he advised, hanging the two bags, not reproaching her for making him feel feared for her, due to ignorance. It was not her fault at all.

"Good night, Kotoko," he said, and she closed her eyes.

The three went to the door, leaving the room in silence.

Naoki gave her one last look before leaving.

 **[…]**

The afternoon of the day when Kotoko left the hospital, Naoki entered her bedroom, with a sheet where appeared exercises and activities of Class F. He had managed to obtain that from her teachers, who had said that there would be no problem that she went until Monday, especially if she had an excellent tutor at home, that would check she keep up to date, although she had become so good student and would not need it at all.

She made a face, among all the pillows and stuffed animals that his mother settled into bed _to keep her comfortable_ (he grimaced looking at them).

"Naoki-kun!" Kotoko said in her eternal happiness and he took the desk chair, sitting beside the bed. "I never thought I'd say it, but I want to go to school," she crossed her arms, "or do something," she pouted. "Oba-sama don't let me move."

The day she was in the hospital she didn't look that annoyed.

"Then I have good news," he replied mockingly, showing her the sheet.

The expressive hazel orbs his girlfriend followed closely the paper.

"No, I don't want to do something anymore!" She gave a whimper. "Not homework."

"And your desire to go to school?" he asked, amused by her childish attitude.

"To talk," grumbled Kotoko.

Naoki snorted; so typical of her.

Anyway, her friends will sort that because they planned to visit her, as they told him when they cross paths.

He placed the sheet on her stomach, making her hold it with her hand and near her face.

"These are the tasks of these two days and tomorrow, until you return on Monday. You'll have something to entertain you tomorrow," he remarked, entertained with her whiny expression while watching the large number of activities of physics.

"This is unfair; the sensei gives more homework when I'm not there."

He thought, however, that he had her now in high regard, due to his words about her. She gave a good image to her classmates and increased the one of Class F, which never stood out academically.

"Stop complaining, the early you start…"

"I won't finish early", she refuted under her breath.

If she thought so, good for her.

He stood. "No, stay a few moments," she begged, fluttering her eyelashes.

"I'll do my homework," he said, not sitting.

Kotoko puffed her cheeks, nodding. She should have forgotten that it did not take him long; he'd be back to help her in a while, when he had finished his.

"Do what you can until I return for your lesson," he instructed, looking for her school supplies.

"Naoki-kun…" she called her when he was arranging some books on the chair, so that she had them on hand. "I was thinking… I think you'd make a good doctor," she said and he looked up at her, whose eyes held a different brightness. "You could help many people like the ones in the hospital and help cure diseases with the big brain of yours."

He tried to think about that for a moment, but she, with her head bowed, spoke before:

"Although, well, I do not like much thinking that you'd be surrounded by beautiful and intelligent female doctors or nurses."

He snorted, shaking his head, concluding his mental task. It was greatly funny her attitude about that.

He approached Kotoko, who raised her face, and pressed his finger to her forehead, before averting her bangs.

"Silly, I wouldn't study to see the staff," he replied, with a hint of a joke. " _That's something you would do_."

 _At least, to watch him._

She opened her mouth, and then closed it in indignation, saying nothing.

He left the room laughing, considering, at the bottom, the words of her blushing girlfriend.

 **[…]**

Naoki rolled his eyes.

"Mama, give Kotoko-chan a break," pleaded his father, near the door, where his mother put a scarf to his girlfriend, before helping her to change her shoes while she wore a pained face, as if the assistance of his mother was too much.

 _They were_.

"I only care for Kotoko-chan," replied his mother, raising the school bag up and down, checking its weight.

"Don't act as if she were pregnant," muttered Naoki, eager to leave school at once, tired of waiting, because he could not go until Kotoko _was ready_.

He longed for the three days of the last week, when, in the morning and afternoon, he wasn't with the redhead. Although—he must admit to himself—, he felt strange and almost, not that it was, miss her.

He would not say it, but three silent days, after months of constant chatter and vigilance, were rare and were not the same. To his misfortune, he had grown accustomed to her company. Earlier that year, he would have had the same opinion, but since that time he knew that, just a little, he had changed his thinking and acting.

Since he accepted Kotoko in his life.

 _Oh, she was quite a force of nature._ He thought sarcastic the phrase of _the great Noriko Irie_.

"The cab must be here," said his mother suddenly.

"What?"

"Kotoko-chan and you will go to school by cab, I called it," she explained, answering his question.

"If she takes it easy, the road will not be very serious," he opined.

Also, he would make sure she did… Nevertheless, on second thought, with Kotoko there could not be tranquility, she was a whirlwind, even in her current circumstances.

"As you're not a doctor, you cannot comment," argued his mother, opening the door and clapping her hands. "There it is. Go down carefully, Kotoko-chan."

He would make no arguing with his mother, he thought, while watching that Kotoko descended the steps without haste and without tangling with her own feet.

"As you're not a doctor, you cannot comment."

He recalled again Kotoko's words, then the weekend reading sporadically on the Internet. Maybe… no, he needed to read more about it, without giving a yes or no to the profession.

He went into the taxi with Kotoko and she said goodbye to his family with a smile.

 _"With the big brain of yours"_. What would happen if he used his intelligence for the welfare of people? What would happen if, as Kotoko said, he used his skills for the society and not just to himself? Would he enjoy serving the sick people?

 _"You could help many people like the ones in the hospital and help cure diseases."_

Until that moment, all he knew was that he felt the need to know what she had, after which he felt satisfaction knowing that he was not mistaken and she could be taken care of quickly. He could start researching and keep wondering if medical career could be for him.

He watched Kotoko askance, as she hummed looking out. If she looked at it…

* * *

 _ **AN: Hi!**_

 _This chapter's name was meant to be: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", the phrase in English related to the Spanish one, but the meaning isn't the same. I hope the "It depends on how you look at it" is better._

 _Also, as in the original, I used "Physician" and "Odontologist", instead of the common names for the careers._

Dear God, I have almost 3 hundred words left and 2 months of this year. I'll do my best to, at least, have half of it done this sixty days ha,ha.

Thanks for reading!

 ** _With love, Karo._**


	19. The matryoshka

**Chapter 19**

 ** _The_** **matryoshka**

* * *

Naoki laid his eyes on Kotoko; with a puzzled look, he watched her slowly approaching where he was. A smile was forming in her face.

He sat up in his bed, wondering what she wanted, when she surprised him by placing one knee on the mattress and standing astride of his legs. Slowly, she got close to the lower part of his body, where she began to move in a circular way, warming his skin and activating his bloodstream to the area where she was, making him stiffen in response.

From his own mouth, he heard out a groan of discomfort. He felt a frustration grow in his body, which rushed to his hands and made him raise them toward the hips of Kotoko, to stop that strange deed that only stirred him up, because it would not end in the common way. She had just been operated not long ago and their relationship was not like that.

 _Although he felt attracted to continue_.

His hands began to ascend the hips of Kotoko, to the waist, then his right hand slipped under her top pajamas, causing a gasp and a shiver of her small mouth, when her hot skin made contact with his on her stomach. His left hand brushed the place of the scar, reminding him that he should not keep going, but instinct was stronger and prompted him to hoist slowly the bottom of her blouse.

Kotoko placed her hands on his chest and leaned into his mouth; he stepped forward, taking possession of her lips, moving his slowly, making out the tip of his tongue to enter the cavity of hers and feel the touch of her wet mouth. It made him experience heat inside, more than he already felt, with fire running through his veins. She continued her dance above him, who slid his lips over her jaw, delivering light kisses until he reached her neck and tasted her white skin.

Naoki smiled as he heard her gasp when he reached a point in her neck that he discovered was sensitive. He continued up her blouse, guided by touch, and laid his eyes on her earlobe, which his lips gave attention. She pressed her fingers into his shoulders and a moan escaped her throat.

He broke away and looked into her eyes, bright and slightly darkened. She blinked, before outlining a mischievous smile and putting her hands on him, to speed up his work.

He removed his hands from the cloth and positioned them on her tiny waist, feeling longing, looking expectantly at the skin of her stomach that was appearing before his eyes. He licked his lips, swallowing saliva, expectantly.

He lowered his eyelids and breathed in.

When he opened them, he found _darkness_. Moreover, his hands were clenching the sheets.

His gasp broke the stillness of the dark and quiet room and he gritted his teeth in anger and frustration, so much that it hurt his jaw.

Thus, in the middle of the night, he got angry with himself. First, by the kind of dream he'd just had (which _was normal_ , he knew, but didn't comfort him, because bring it to reality was difficult); and second, by not concluding that twisted fantasy starring Kotoko, where her act wasn't exactly as he thought of her, though her body really was the same.

Or what he had seen.

In addition to the day of the pond, where he glimpsed her breasts, she had now shown him her tiny scar, amazed by the surgeon's work; in the current time, a few days after that, he was having that kind of dream that, he cursed, _did not stay in his unconscious_.

Of course, they _had never_ been in a similar situation, to know how it would be at such a time… He shouldn't be thinking about it, but his night-mind and his current discomfort made it impossible to change the topic in his head. His relationship with her was not so physical, that aspect would be presented later and he would find out the way then…

That was disappointing, partly.

And a bad thought. Because by now it was unthinkable that something like that would happen, and neither was their priority. Nor he spent all the time thinking about it.

He didn't see Kotoko and thought of them like that, obviously, he didn't, although he liked her, something that had already been clear in the past.

"Hell," he cursed, hearing a snort of Yuuki in the midst of his dreams. _His_ must be calm, without suffering the kind of episode that had just happened to him, _an erotic dream with his girlfriend_ , who must also be sleeping quietly, with the same pajamas he saw in the dream world. She did not know what was going through his head, resting and enjoying her night.

Naoki did not know why he'd dreamed of that.

He shook his head, this was not the best time to mull over this, not with his body somewhat sweaty… and a pulsating tension between his legs, which he wouldn't relief in a way he considered shameful, yet still normal. How annoying.

Neither he wanted to use the cold way; he hoped libido diminished alone.

He had to keep his mind completely blank and relax his body. Something that could get difficult in his current circumstances.

He gritted his teeth. He needed a repulsive thought to distract him; concentrating on numbers or words would not help him, they didn't occupy his mind enough.

 _Excellent time for hormones to work with his body._

It was frustrating and annoying, irritating. Why did something like that had to happen to him?

"A loathing thought…" he whispered closing his eyes tightly.

He started brooding on things and somehow, sleep or fatigue, caught him first.

 **[…]**

The doorbell rang and Naoki, in the middle of watching TV like the rest of his family, raised his head towards the door. They had the same expressions of bewilderment. He picked up the TV remote and set silent for a moment, and then took another sip his coffee.

His mother, with a curious expression, went to open the door, while he wondered who might be visiting, a few moments before dinnertime.

"Come in, come in. Onii-chan, is for you!" Yelled his mother, making him feel more intrigued.

"Who is it?" Kotoko asked for him. Calmer as not to blush for the dream he had with her, he saw her leaning carefully to place her cup of hot chocolate in the plate on the table.

She opened her eyes with the focus behind him, forcing him to look at the door.

There, at the top of the stairs, were her two friends, smiling.

"They again," Yuuki muttered, and he understood his discomfort, they weren't his favorite too. He watched them descend rapidly, with a gift box in their hands, which gave him a bad feeling.

"Jinko? Satomi? What are you doing here? What do you have there? And why did oba-sama say you came for Naoki-kun?

The two girls smiled and turned to face him.

"We come representing Class F."

"Great," muttered his brother. He nodded.

"What do you want now?" Naoki asked curtly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the girls.

"Do not say that onii-chan; it was very good that you could have a good time with Kotoko-chan's classmates."

"Sure," he said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at his girlfriend's friends.

"We've brought Irie-san a gift in thanks for having taught us and helped us pass our exams," explained the taller girl.

"Thank you, Irie-san!" They said in unison, bowing their heads.

"I do not need a gift," he said loudly, not caring what others thought.

"Even so, we have brought it," the brunette replied, giving him the box with her head high. "We all think of this."

"Come, onii-chan, open it."

Kotoko and Yuuki leaned towards him, to have a look, and he saw his father paid close attention to his movements.

He sighed and undid the red bow enveloping the box, and then removed the top cover.

His left eyelid trembled when he saw the content. He grimaced and pulled out the doll made of cloth from inside; it had about forty centimeters, with coppery hair and brown eyes, and it was dressed in uniform, similar to his girlfriend.

"It's Kotoko-chan!" Cried his mother. "So cute!"

"I do not play with dolls," he claimed, looking distastefully at the gift. Especially because it made him remember the time when his mother dressed him as a girl and the many dolls that accompanied him in her photo shoots.

"Don't be like that, onii-chan, they gave you a doll that looks like your girlfriend."

 _And that was good because…?_

"We know he has the real one, but thought it was the best we could give him," said the taller girl, with an amused smile. "And…"

The other girl ran to the exit, while Naoki experienced a wave of annoyance.

"For Kotoko, for helping us so Irie-san taught us," continued Satomi, mysteriously.

"We have her a Naoki-kun!" completed the other friend, returning with another doll, _like him_ , that she gave to his girlfriend, who smiled and squealed as if she had received the moon.

"So nice!" Kotoko blurted, and Yuuki laughed. The doll had brown hair and violet eyes like his and a line as a mouth, without a hint of a smile. It was a manual creation like Kotoko, defective.

Naoki pressed his lips into a line and undid the gesture with his eyes on the face of the doll, _which had that expression_.

"Thank you!" Kotoko shouted with great spirits, hugging her gift.

He saw, without much pleasure, the doll he still had in his hands.

"You're so wonderful!" said delighted his mother, who at some point took out her camera and recorded everything. "Onii-chan! Don't you have something to say?"

"You shouldn't have bothered," he remarked ironically.

Kotoko's two friends shook their heads, without understanding, believing that he meant by kindness, surely. He gave a warning look at Yuuki, telling him to shut his laugh up.

He looked at the gift, what would he do with a doll? It was a stupid gift, and he didn't want a copy of her in his bedroom. Really, what kind of things did Kotoko's classmates thought of?

'I bet they believed that it would make me very happy', he thought, glancing at Kotoko, hugging her ridiculous gift.

That wasn't the case. Surreptitiously, he would get it to stay in her room.

If he got rid of the doll, he would not see tomorrow.

 **[…]**

"Onii-chan, you have to buy a Christmas' gift for Kotoko-chan!"

Cursing under his breath, Naoki looked at his mother. She returned to her insistence of always, this time for the day supposedly dedicated to romantic couples. They were silly stuff; he had always thought that they did not need a special day to celebrate, with all the romantic paraphernalia concentrated on that day.

"Onii-chan! She is working to give you a gift."

He narrowed his eyes and stopped reading the website he had in the laptop, turning the chair over to his mother. What was that silly doing working just a week and a half after her operation?

"What kind of job?" he asked, crossing his arms.

She would deserve a good scolding if it was one of the heavy types, by going against doctor's orders, and because, if anything happened, _he_ and the others would suffer the consequences, having to attend her in the future.

"I don't know, Kotoko-chan doesn't tell me," his mother whispered with a pout.

And when had that stopped her? He thought sarcastically. Then he recalled the summer, when Kotoko took a temporary job; at the time, his mother did not follow her or find out much about it. Therefore, as it did not happen then, it came into his head that she wanted him to have an interest in her activities.

Naïve, as if his world revolved around Kotoko.

He would inquire whether it was a heavy work.

"Maybe she'll tell you where she works," his mother said. He rolled his eyes and turned to the desk; without thinking, he closed the browser and turned off the laptop.

Then he got up and went for his coat and scarf, which he began to put with his mother's eyes following his movements. In addition, he took part of his savings.

"Are you going out to look for Kotoko?" She inquired with a big smile. "Will you buy her a gift?"

He duly adjusted his blue scarf around his neck and shook his head, twisting a mocking smile.

"I'm going to the bookstore," he explained funny, going to the door of the room.

"Onii-chan!" she shouted at his back. "Don't be mean!"

He laughed and went downstairs at a fast rhythm, in high spirits. For the first time, he was really determined and interested; he felt that it was possible for him to become a doctor, to the point of believing that he could have a dream, like many others. He could be good in the field and develop in a specific area where he could use his knowledge and skills in curing diseases.

He had reached a profession that interested him, thanks to Kotoko; he felt it was something he could do, and had felt excitement at Kotoko's prospect of being a doctor, thinking it so as he read.

It would not be the easiest thing in the world, it was a demanding career, which in a sense would mean more work than other jobs; it required perseverance, effort, and dedication. Moreover, he discovered a genuine interest in using his skills and good traits that had been given to him in life, to help others. As Kotoko said, for the society, not so much for himself.

There was the detail, he always wanted to know for him, what he could do, and until he had not seen the other way, with a different perspective of his future, he could not find an answer. After deciding, he could think about the benefits that it would bring him.

In addition, with Kotoko's help, he was able to discern other perspectives and had not felt alone in the path of discovering his future.

He already had his choice of the future, after many months mulling without deciding on anything in particular.

He could have chosen anything, he had the ability, but deep inside he hadn't wanted to err on something _that was not for him_ , he hadn't wanted to fail, he had wished that his choice were correct. Err meant _something he did not want for himself_ , because he knew deep inside it was an affectation to _the persona_ that had taken him a long time to build.

Fortunately, medicine was an opportunity for him and a choice with its difficulties, but he'd face it, as hard as it could be. And he would put his strength on it because he felt that with that path he was taking the right direction. It would not be easy, but he would give his all for trying and not failing.

Walking down the street, he shoved his hands in his pockets and let out a big sigh.

 _Only he knew the deep meaning behind it._

 **[…]**

Along Watanabe, Naoki walked silently in the busy streets of the city, with the mind on the bookstore, nodding at certain times when the brunette addressed a direct question.

He had met his classmate in the subway exit, and he had joined him when he knew both were going to the same place, the bookstore. It was Watanabe's first stop before going to buy a gift for his girlfriend—that Naoki didn't even know he had.

"I've been saving my allowance to buy my first book of law," excitedly remarked the other, finished the talk about his girlfriend ( _finally_ ).

He thought that many people changed because of Christmas, Valentine's Day and White Day, as his classmate, who had never given much rambling, at this time was talking too much about his plans for his girlfriend. He would not have thought Watanabe would be someone very open, but they weren't deeply related, to the point of knowing.

They reached the front of the bookstore that both sought.

"Isn't that Aihara-san?" Watanabe asked, pointing across the window, inside the bookstore, in a place away from the front of the establishment, but possible to see.

Naoki looked at the redhead within a few seconds, identifying her unique hair color, and nodded. She had a book in her lap, sitting on a chair, and around her there were children.

Then she leaned the book, moving her mouth, and infants began laughing, making clear that Kotoko was reading to them.

Who'd have said it? She, in a bookstore, reading to someone else?

At least she was reading to people with a mindset closer to hers, so she wasn't ashamed. She must understand what she read; he was surprised that someone that could be fifty in school did not get to read simple kanjis (the few ones in children books). Yuuki, until that day, scoffed when he did his homework and she was close.

"It seems that children like her," noted Watanabe.

He shrugged, thinking the same, before entering and receiving the warm temperature inside the library, unlike the cold air outside.

The voice of Kotoko reached his ears; it was a ridiculous imitation of the alleged voices of the different characters in the story, causing laughter and astonishment sounds of her audience. He acknowledged that she was conscious, looking for something that required being seated and uncharged of moving objects. She had saved herself from the reprimand.

Watanabe went to a place different from him, who searched the signs to find the section on medical books, where he read the titles to look for an Anatomic Atlas, the one he wanted to acquire, before anything else.

He went to the register and they quickly attended him, giving him a paper bag with his book.

His companion arrived at that moment with a small, but thick, book related to the criminal code.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school, Irie," said Watanabe after leaving the bookstore and Naoki nodded, taking the way back to the station, where he would take a direct line that went near his home. He didn't feel like changing lines.

Before arriving, he saw a cafeteria; he went in to order a black coffee and sit at a table where he pulled out his new purchase and opened it on the first page, not waiting until home.

After finishing the prologue, he took a sip of his drink and grimaced, thinking it was not as good as Kotoko's, who, to his surprise and bewilderment, prepared the drink in the traditional way, with the exact amount of coffee beans and water, making it his favorite—he took advantage of the moments when she prepared it.

Not that she knew he liked it, there were things that he did not need to say nor people should know.

He finished the coffee and the first chapter, dedicated to the conception of anatomy; then, he put the book on the bag and stood. The next time, he'd start with the basics. He already had a good precedent in his science classes, where he learned about the cells and everything related.

He left the cafe and went to the station. A few steps from its entrance, his gaze met a store of foreign articles; his eyes were caught by a Russian wooden doll on the other side of the window, just under half a foot, which made him remember the F's stupid gift.

He felt rare the presence of a matryoshka there, with the tensions between the two nations.

However, the thing that called his attention was the hair of the doll, which was orange, and her eyes, although it was Russian, strangely brown. _Too much coincidence_. The doll's face had a smile and her clothes were full of flowers, the dress had a white background and the part covering her head was completely red.

He thought for a moment and entered the store, wondering if it would be enough the amount he had in his wallet, which at the end, wasn't.

He shrugged and returned home.

 **[…]**

On Tuesday, Christmas Day and winter holiday, Naoki locked himself in his room to read. He was unwilling to listen to his mother repeating insinuations of couples dates and happy young people walking holding hands and sharing their gifts, while she was decorating the house with stupid lights along his girlfriend, to give joy to their home.

His mother was of those people very interested in Western customs.

Someone knocked on the door and he sighed, recognizing whom. He allowed access to his girlfriend watching over his shoulder; she carried a steaming cup, that he identified had coffee, for the smell in his nostrils.

She handed him the cup with a smile and he accepted it with a nod, inhaling the incomparable aroma of caffeine before blowing it and taking a sip. He enjoyed it, as she had prepared it and because it had the ideal temperature not to burn his tongue.

Kotoko looked over his shoulder and he surreptitiously watched her eyes open wide.

"Is it a book of medicine?!" she asked high-pitched, and he nodded, placing the cup on the desk, away from the book, to keep reading. "Naoki-kun, you will study medicine?"

He nodded again, studying a picture of the coronal plane of the muscular system.

"Naoki-kun! That's great!" she said at his back and he took due care not to move the desk when she threw herself to hug him from behind. "I knew you could do it! I'm really happy for you! I know you're the best!"

"Be careful," he ordered, removing her hands around his neck, looking annoyed. "I have not even begun and it won't be as simple as other things. Don't make it look so lightly."

That it supposed a challenge in some ways also made him decide for it. He had made a conscious analysis.

"But…" Kotoko said moments after, "you are Naoki-kun and I trust you can do it," she affirmed with great faith, and he smirked, ironically, but with a sensation in the chest that could be defined as pride. "And what I bought you is perfect!" she cried so hard that he winced before she left the bedroom.

He took the cup again and with his finger outlined the muscles of the picture.

"Your Christmas gift." He blinked at the soft whisper, not realizing that she had returned to the room.

He rolled his eyes, because she would disturb him until he listened. He paid her attention, facing her rounding the chair.

He accepted the gift she offered him smiling and removed the wrapping to see two boxes connected by a masking tape, both with tools made for elderly, designed for tension and stress; they were a bracelet and a small neck massage machine.

"I'm not old," he whispered with a snort.

"Eh?" She wrinkled her nose with a confused expression.

He thought that was something expensive, like the previous gift from her, and nodded. "Thanks," he said dryly, wondering if she would start a custom of buying expensive items.

"I'll let you read, Naoki-kun." She giggled with her hands together, as in a dream. "Doctor Irie."

Naoki shook his head, rolling his eyes as she walked to the door.

"Kotoko," he called.

She jumped and turned, stopping. "Yes?"

He opened his drawer and pulled out the bag with the purchase of the store of last week. "Take this," he muttered, looking away uncomfortably, extending what he had bought in a stupid moment of solidarity with her, after thinking that she helped him to find a profession that interested him, and he would not have found out after some time.

"For me?" She took away the paper bag and he turned his head to watch her.

Kotoko smiled at the doll, with many meanings; but, for him, it seemed more precise the idea that it could represent different aspects to discover in a person as had happened to him in that year, _with her_.

To be honest, just with himself, admitting the true meaning of the doll, he was grateful that she helped him and took away the feeling that he was nobody… and that, despite being a genius, his life had no path.

She helped him find an answer, which he did not have, showing him multiple facets throughout the year. Kotoko had given him the satisfaction of saying he would _do something_ and it wouldn't be a farce, nor a failure.

"It's very nice," Kotoko whispered, and he heard her whining. "Thank you, Naoki-kun."

He rolled his eyes for the sentimentality.

"Divide it," he instructed.

"How?"

"It parts at the bottom, take its head and hold it on the bottom." She pouted and nodded with narrowed eyes, before doing what he told her, sat on the bed.

"There's one inside!" she said, after getting off the top doll. She looked excited while looking at each of the six figurines inside, with different facial expressions, colors, designs, and types of clothing, without changing the physical features of the main doll. "I've never seen anything like this! I love it! Thank you!"

He turned to his book, pleased with her response.

"Now leave, I'm reading," he asked.

"Yes! I'll show this to oba-sama!"

He denied to himself and returned to his task, hoping his mother was satisfied and did not bother more on that day… or until long after the New Year.

* * *

 _ **AN:** I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **Karo.**_


	20. Perspectives and decisions

**Chapter 20**

 **Perspectives and decisions**

* * *

Going down from the mount, after Hatsumōde, Naoki remained silent with his family until they had reached the base of the temple, where his mother made them look for the strips of paper with the fate in store for them this year. _Or rather, what a paper written by people, sorted by chance, claimed about the next twelve months._

Naoki accepted his and read, unlike other years, that he would have an unpleasant fortune, which should be the same as his brother, who began mumbling unintelligible things related to "this is the fault of the stupid" and throw away his paper.

"Good luck!" Kotoko cried, jumping as her traditional clothes allowed her, and he rolled his eyes.

"Stupid superstitions," muttered Yuuki, while his mother tried to investigate their fates.

"What do you have?" Asked his girlfriend, hanging onto his arm; grumpily, he realized he could not get loose furtively.

"Nothing important," he mumbled, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

Perhaps, if he believed in that, it would be as Yuuki had said; Kotoko could be the cause of omen of bad luck because she meant trouble. Although if he had other surprises in store due to her, and if she made him experience different situations as always, the year would not be so bad.

He could accept that future, and definitely Kotoko, as long as she did not put his world upside down too much.

 _It would be impossible, but worth dreaming_.

Even with her blunders and missteps, his girlfriend had made something different from the past year, and he liked it as much as he liked her. He should be put in mental care, but he liked her and could welcome another three hundred and sixty-five days in her company. At times, she would make the long hours bearable.

He sighed, that year he would begin college and, with the closeness of examinations for the admission to prestigious universities, he had other things to think about.

 **[…]**

Naoki had decided to give a try to the national examination and the possibility of studying at Tokyo University or another college; so that day he was preparing his belongings to go downtown to take the assessment, which he was not keen to do though it had great meaning for others.

He left the room and went downstairs, with an annoying discomfort in the chest, from a slight cold, compared to the one he had a few months ago. His wakefulness from reflecting had taken his toll on him.

At the main floor he saw his family gathered before him, anxious, to the point that his father had two different socks and changed his body weight from one foot to another; and his mother watched him in dismay.

He had not told them yet what he would study and they had no idea. Kotoko had remained silent about it.

"Are you ready? Do you have everything?" asked his father.

He rolled his eyes, nodding.

"Not all!" Kotoko said and knelt beside him, showing him a red small bag with the words "good luck" knitted. She didn't seem to have a hangover after drinking a lot of alcohol the day before, in a "celebration" for his test at Shigeo-san's restaurant, who only used as an excuse to drink sake… and get her drunk; Kotoko could not stand the drink and almost throw up. "I made a good luck charm, Naoki-kun."

He denied huffing and shrugging at the ridiculous gesture.

"You're a wonderful girlfriend, Kotoko-chan." The aforementioned blushed.

He coughed.

"What?!" They cried all, making him wince. How irritating.

Kotoko ran.

"Onii-chan! You are sick!" exclaimed his mother. Yes, he realized staying in the open last night had been a bad idea.

His girlfriend then returned with a box of tablets on hand.

"Here, medicine. Take one!"

He saw the yellow box and denied. "I will give me drowsiness." Also, while walking in the snow, as well as coughing, it would be problematic.

"Oh!" Kotoko said, holding a hand to her mouth, before reading and nodding with wide eyes. Then, she smiled. "That's true, but you must know more than me, Naoki-kun."

He didn't give it great importance and walked to the front door, with them following him.

"Are you following me all the way?" he asked irritated, changing his footwear.

They denied.

"Good luck!" They told him.

He left the house and calm went to the station. When he entered, the subway made its arrival.

Watanabe would join him three stops later. In a month time, his classmate would take the exam for Waseda University, Department of Law.

He moved his briefcase and rose to see the amulet Kotoko had tied to it. He surprised himself untying it and placing it in his inner pocket where his hand touched the pass for the exam, which that morning had been altered by the childish and ridiculous scribbles of his girlfriend (he did not know at what point she sneaked into his room to do so).

After leaving the train to chain lines, he found Watanabe and both boarded the same line. His classmate had a face of anxiety.

Too quickly, they arrived at the test site and he found himself in a sit, answering questions that seemed very simple; but from the expressions of others, they looked kind of demanding and complex. He only doubted once.

He could not judge, he was learning the lesson… people had different abilities, and smart people didn't have the best all the time. Nevertheless, not because of it had he stopped loathing stupid people.

 **[…]**

The results of the test—with a score of 999 out of 1000—soon arrived, and the days took a normal course, accompanied by the clumsiness and occurrences of Kotoko. Promptly, the day of the day came.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Naoki-kun!" He was surprised by Kotoko jumping in front of his door just as he opened it, after being ready to go.

In her small hands, she had an object in the form of a heart, wrapped with pink; he knew it was his chocolate for Valentine's Day. She hadn't given it to him two days ago because she hadn't had a good result after a week trying to do the "perfect" chocolate. She must have succeeded when he was asleep the day before.

"I know you do not like sweets, but this is bitter chocolate with peanut, and oba-sama said it was better to melt a bar, after many attempts."

To him, it wasn't important to receive one, but he guessed she was conflicted, for slight dark circles under her eyes.

He sighed and accepted it. "Thanks," he muttered with curtness, assuming that he shouldn't miss the tradition of White Day, especially because his mother would be there pestering.

 _How annoying._ However, he would make an exception this time, and then he would make it clear to her, somehow, that he didn't do such things. It would be a return for the previous year.

He put the chocolate in his briefcase.

"Today is an important day! You are taking the exam to Todai! Aren't you nervous?" she asked as they descended the stairs.

"No," he said, walking over to the table with breakfast, nodding good morning to others and thanking for the food before eating.

Kotoko also took her place, watching him with a puzzled expression, but with a pout of her lips. Then she devoted herself to her breakfast.

He felt the atmosphere irritating, with everyone watching him at all times, causing him the same discomfort as in the previous test.

"I've finished," he muttered standing up, and all followed suit, going after him.

He felt the growl wanting to spring from his chest, but he swallowed it.

"You're sure you have everything? There's nothing missing? Are you going well wrapped up?! Did you have your bus pass?" asked his father barely breathing.

He nodded.

"I have a lot of apprehension," said his father.

 _As if he were the one taking the test_.

"I'll go with you!" Kotoko announced suddenly, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she ignored looking for her belongings, reappearing quickly, _as if she were prepared_. "I will make sure he arrives."

His mother nodded enthusiastically.

He rolled his eyes and nodded without saying anything else.

They left home and did a long path in silence, with light snowflakes falling on them, until she spoke:

"And… are you excited about the chance to go to Tokyo University?"

He did not respond aloud, nor moved his body, having no certain answer.

"Naoki-kun, do you want to go to Todai?" she asked in a more serious voice.

It sounded like the voice of his own conscience.

"Is not it the best university?" He argued, more to himself than to her, who nodded as resolved.

However, he wasn't it, on the road reflecting the same as many weeks. Going to Todai or not going… was it the best to go there?

"You got my amulet?" She asked when they were approaching the place; he huffed, without saying he had it, after a strange impulse that made him take it when it fell from his bookshelf.

He grabbed her arm when she was slipping by, wanting to see his face. He no longer told her not to be distracted; it was unsuccessful. At least the light snowfall was finished, so Kotoko walking alone would not be so problematic.

"Now you can leave," he ordered arriving at the campus, going to the information desk to ask where he had to go specifically.

He turned and saw that she was still where he had left her. He closed his eyes massaging the bridge of his nose, thinking she did not understand his farewell.

Seconds later, he felt her hugging him and felt a wave of heat in his face.

"Good luck, Naoki-kun, though I know you'll do it great," he said and he opened his eyes, looking at her with them narrowed.

Kotoko smiled the way she always did and that was what prevented him from reprimanding her; it would not work.

He turned away and said nothing. He crossed the front door, feeling the first step made a big echo around himself.

Did he actually want to go to the most important university? Would he study Medicine there? Was it necessary that best student attended a prestigious school? Could he take an option that others did not expect from him, but it was a possibility and a course chosen by him?

Did he have to study at the University of Tokyo?

It would be too predictable for him, but it did not offer him great prospects as another option. And what about being a common student? He was tempted to have the experiences that Kotoko mentioned, but did not feel he could live them at the university where he was now; in fact, many of his good experiences were linked to her, who could show him what she said about college… and it must be at the same place.

And, just deep inside, he believed that, by going to the same university as her, he would fulfill the responsibility of having her as his girlfriend, making sure her clumsiness didn't kill her.

Todai was just a university. Moreover, as he thought in the past, it depended much more on the ability of the person than on the site. He had already reviewed Tonan's program and it was good, very similar to other universities.

Tonan would do.

With that, he turned and left the campus of Todai, walked down the street and turned a corner; there, he saw a well-known hair in a young woman sat on a bench.

Making a grimace that would pass as a public smile, he went to where she was and sat beside her, staring straight ahead like her; There was nothing special, just passersby.

While she didn't note his presence yet, he drew the chocolate and removed the wrapping, starting a piece, to do something. He brought it to his mouth; it was a little hard, but it was not sweet, as Kotoko said, and he felt the peanuts.

"What's so interesting?" he asked, seeing nothing impressive in the passersby.

"Naoki-kun! What are you doing here?! And your exam?!" she exclaimed, getting too close to his face.

He took another piece of chocolate, taking the misspellings of the congratulation.

"I won't take it," he said, as it were nothing, before saving the rest of the chocolate for Yuuki.

"But… but… are you going to the same university as me?" She spoke slowly.

Naoki shrugged. "It has a good program," he replied.

"Naoki-kun!" She let out excited, and he avoided curving his mouth.

He stood, taking out the strip from his briefcase to hang it on his shoulder.

"Have you ever been here?"

She refused, bewildered. He smiled slyly.

"Come," he gestured and walked over to where the shops were.

Kotoko gasped behind him and Naoki almost missed a step when she slung his arm.

"We'll study at the same university!" She exclaimed too enthusiastically. "We'll go together every day and eat in the cafeteria; students will know us as the best couple!"

"I'm still in time to take the exam," he expressed with false stoicism.

"No, no, no, no! Forget what I said, Naoki-kun!" Kotoko yelled gesticulating exaggeratedly, almost hitting a young man with lenses that seemed to go rushed to the direction of the university. "I am sorry!" She said bowing.

The raven man stopped and opened his mouth, then closed it and nodded, adjusting his glasses.

Kotoko put her arms at her sides, motionless, and the two watched the man, who looked like in a bundle of nerves, turned the corner. That was the kind of enthusiastic young people entering the University of Tokyo, not like him, casting aside the chance.

But he did not care. They could say he was silly for that—and it would be the first time he received such adjective—, but he did not care. It was as if after leaving the campus, he had relieved from some responsibilities and could focus on the most important for him at the time, his future.

It felt good knowing he had already thought about it and that he could see his future in a clearer and definite form, instead of fuzzy images where he looked more like a spectator of the enjoyment of others, while living with no big expectations and doing activities with no excitement, following the same pace of everyday life, without changes or exciting things out of the ordinary.

"A pet store!" Indicated Kotoko pointing a local, in which behind the windows were visible, to the right of the door, pussycats' cages, and to the left, tanks with different aquatic animals.

Next to the establishment, there was a dogs cafeteria. "Why are there two pet stores together?"

"They're the same pet store, but this part is a cafe where you can rent an animal for an hour to go for a walk," he remarked, going to the last one to show her. He was surprised she did not know, living in Japan.

"They are dogs!" Kotoko exclaimed behind his body, holding his arm, and he saw the dogs milling around at the door without leaving the cafeteria. There were dogs of medium height, showing the tongue; except for one, that looked like Spitz puppy. "Let's go, they will bite us."

"They do nothing," he answered, turning to her, finding her trembling face. "They're well-trained pet animals."

"Eh, no…"

He curled a smile.

"Or you are afraid?" he asked, without malice, quickly finding the answer.

"Am not!" Kotoko said, shaking her head repeatedly. "If they don't bite."

"Then enter," he said and turned to the local, where dogs made way for him to go inside, pulling out their tongues and wagging their tails happily.

He looked a sign of information, for five hundred yen, he could walk a small dog for an hour. He thought for a moment and saw Kotoko stood at the door, hesitant to enter, although dogs weren't blocking the path.

It would be nice try to get her used to the presence of a dog, before she saw the monster of his grandmother, Chibi, a St. Bernard. In spring break, Chibi would be at their home, because his grandmother would go to vacations with her tea companions, and she didn't want anyone else to take care of it—even with her large family.

A small breed Shiba puppy approached him when he went to the manager, and it clung to his legs, begging to be petted.

He knelt and put his hand on its golden brown fur, receiving a satisfaction sound from the animal.

"What's the name of this one?" he asked the manager.

"Jun."

"So you are _obedient_ , eh?" he said with a smile to the dog, who raised his head and ears by hearing his name. "Good boy."

He returned to his normal height and pulled from his wallet the amount demanded, getting a leash, some dog cookies and a couple of bags for garbage, as well as a pair of instructions.

He thanked the man and put the leash on the dog, who walked meekly beside him to the door, where Kotoko waited. She opened her eyes as he approached with the animal.

"Naoki-kun! That's… that's…"

"A dog," he whispered mockingly. "You said you don't fear them," he added, knowing she was lying; but it seemed more dislike of them, in his opinion.

"But… but… Did you buy it?"

He denied. "We are taking Jun for a walk during one hour," he explained finally leaving the place.

He directed the dog to his right, in the middle of the two. At the time, Jun did it, but approached Kotoko to smell her.

She jumped with a shriek and took a few steps away. The little animal whimpered; he knew the race was generally affectionate, so it must have felt rejected by her actions.

June tried again to approach her, whimpering.

Naoki suppressed a smile; it was also a clever and manipulative animal, because Kotoko seemed softened by the tears, giving light steps up his level, while maintaining a safe distance.

"It wants to eat me!" she cried when the dog rubbed against her leg, as it did with him. "Naoki-kun!" she shouted as the animal licked her, it must have liked her body odor.

"He doesn't bite," he said. " _Or that's what the manager claims_ ," he added in feigned innocence.

"What?!" Kotoko squealed running to him, hanging onto his arm, letting out a groan when the dog chased her.

He could not hold it longer and let out loud laugh, holding his stomach.

It was very funny.

"Naoki-kuuun!" She complained, hiding behind him.

The leash surrounded his legs.

His laughter subsided and he recovered the steadiness.

"Jun, stay still," he gestured to the dog, who quickly followed his order.

"Hey!" Kotoko cried, showing from one side.

"It seems he likes you more than you like him," Naoki noted as he saw that the dog remained its sight fixed on his girlfriend. It should perceive her displeasure and try to win her over. "Come on, Jun, go at the left," he ordered and continued on his way.

He looked over his shoulder.

"Are you coming?" he asked Kotoko, who nodded reluctantly, muttering under her breath against dogs like foxes.

Around the corner, he saw a small park and went to it, walking to the paved road in the middle of leafless trees of February. Jun barked at ease and stirred slightly, but he didn't let it go, because the manager assured him that he would get tired of chasing it to hold it back; it was the only rule that the animal did not obey to strangers.

The dark eyes of the dog went back to Kotoko; it barked dancing in front of her, who pressed her lips into a thin line.

"Give him one," he instructed, showing signs of giving the bag of cookies.

"I?" Kotoko pointed herself, with wide-open eyes.

"Do you prefer to hold the leash?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She nodded.

He shrugged; feeding was to demand much. He extended his hand that held the dog and Kotoko took the leash with a face of uncertainty.

"Hold it strongly," he requested, before kneeling in front of Jun, taking a cookie from the bag.

The dog stood on two legs with its tongue out.

He heard a lightly laugh from Kotoko. "It is funny."

"Sit," he ordered to Jun, noting with satisfaction that it sat on its back, meekly, looking at the cookie.

He gave it to him. He extracted another three and Jun jumped excitedly.

"It attends orders," Kotoko commented. He looked up.

"They're trained," he repeated, an eyebrow raised. She pouted.

He wondered if her dislike of dogs came from a past event or because she never lived with them. Generally, the pets in the country were well behaved, due to the house arrangements of Japan; also, instruction and correction were a custom in the population, as a matter of urbanity.

Naoki returned his eyes to the dog, who no longer sniffed cookies, but watched the tree. He followed its gaze frowning.

"Hold it strongly," he said too late when the dog gained in strength to his girlfriend and dragged her to a squirrel, while he stood up.

Kotoko stumbled on the traces of the morning snow and fell down, groaning loudly.

He walked over to where she landed, watching that Jun approached Kotoko, sobbing. Jun rubbed her face, in which her eyes remained closed. He looked for any injuries and did not find them.

He saw her stiffen and lift her eyelids. The dog barked and licked her cheek, making her squeal and sit.

Jun sat before her, watching her with his head bowed, motionless, keeping his bulging orbs in his girlfriend.

Naoki rolled his eyes; _it was impossible than even an animal fell appreciation for Kotoko_ … even more, if she had no taste for it.

He dropped to one knee next to Kotoko and picked up her free hand, placing a cookie in her palm.

"Give it to him," he demanded without using a serious tone.

Kotoko looked at her hand and the dog's eyes; Jun did not take his shining eyes from her, starting to whimper. She bit her lower lip and swallowed visibly before reaching out slowly to Jun, with the cookie between two of her fingers.

Jun opened his mouth and waited until Kotoko positioned the cookie in front of his nose, which he took and munched wagging his tail.

He stood up and reached for his girlfriend to help her up and hold the leash, which he took when she stood up.

Not waiting for her, he went on the road… but Jun was the one who stopped until Kotoko walked again.

Naoki sighed, and after a while, he did it again, more than satisfied that, at least, when they returned the dog she got through the entrance door, just to see Jun running animated to the manager.

 **[…]**

In the afternoon, after taking lunch and spending some time walking on the streets, Naoki with Kotoko returned home, where even his father and Shigeo-san were waiting in the hall.

He sighed, ignoring their anxious faces while taking off his shoes.

"How did it go?" Wanted to know his father when he straightened. "Kotoko-chan sent a message to Mom when she left on the campus. How was the test?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the worried look his girlfriend gave him; until that time of day, it had been easy to ignore communicating their parents the decision because, at least, for his father, it was very important to study at the same university as him.

But it wasn't _his life_ , he reminded himself.

His mother cleared her throat and he looked at her. "Let's sit first," she said, with a smile in his direction and a wink.

He wondered if she had seen the medical book among his things.

All went to the living room, where they sat; his father kept his eyes on him.

"I didn't take the test for Todai," he told them bluntly.

The others, except for Kotoko and his mother, gasped.

"What?" his father asked wide-eyed. "You're not studying at my alma mater?"

"Did something happen because of Kotoko?" Shigeo-san asked in a whisper, watching his daughter, who blushed but shook her head in form of denial.

"I decided it," Naoki said. "It was my choice to stay in Tonan and study there to become a doctor."

His family was stunned for a second.

The first to react was his father, who sighed and placed a hand on his stomach. "All the time I thought you weren't enthusiast for the exam at Tokyo University, Nao," said with his shoulders down. "Doctor?" He blinked repeatedly and removed his glasses. "Amazing, I always knew you'd do something big, but…"

"Never completely to help others," remarked his mother without mockery or complaint and suddenly smiled, clapping. "It's wonderful, onii-chan! You and Kotoko-chan will be at the same university! _You're destined!_ "

He rolled his eyes; that was all she was interested.

"A doctor in the family," said his father, and then nodded with a smile.

"It's a great future; good luck, Naoki," wished Shigeo-san. "Did you already know it, Kot…? Where did she go?"

Naoki saw that both she and Yuuki were not in the room. He had a slight idea and went to the entrance of the room to go to the next room, which sometimes served as a playground for his brother.

He found the door ajar, and pushed it slightly, hearing the voice of Kotoko and Yuuki. Any of them were seeing him, she gave him the back and his brother kept his eyes downcast in one of his notebooks, of which Naoki had seen his pictures.

He felt regret knowing the meaning.

"What is it, Yuuki-kun?" Tried again his girlfriend.

"Leave me alone, baka," said Yuuki angrily.

"You don't like that your onii-chan is going to be a doctor?" His otōto blushed and Naoki was surprised that Kotoko quickly knew the problem.

"I like it, but…" Yuuki hesitated. _His dream was to run Pandai with him_. "Onii-chan would run the company like me."

Naoki swallowed hard and took a step forward, but a hand on his arm stopped him; he saw his mother, who denied.

"Yuuki…" Kotoko whispered, softly. "Is that your dream?"

"Yes," his brother replied with a nod. She put a hand on his brother, resting on top of the notebook.

"And Naoki-kun would like to help make it happen… but his dream is to be a doctor and help many people, as part of yours is to build those toys you draw to make many children happy."

Yuuki sighed.

"And you want your onii-chan to be happy to reach his dream, right?" Kotoko asked. His brother nodded. "And you have the opportunity to reach part of yours, right?" He nodded again. "Then you have to be happy with for your onii-chan. If it makes you sad he cannot run the business with you, think that both of you can be happy doing what you like," she paused, "and he will be the best."

Naoki felt his mother squeezing his arm; he looked at her, smiling towards Kotoko. Then she left, nodding when she was at the corner. He coughed, drawing the attention of the others, pretending he had just arrived.

Yuuki listened at the door and stood, leaving the notebook in his seat. He ran in front of him. "Onii-chan, I think you'll be the best doctor in the world!" He exclaimed with much encouragement.

"Hey, Yuuki!" yelled Kotoko. "I said it first!" she complained, standing up.

His brother ran with a funny expression, and Kotoko started to chase him with a fist raised.

He shook his head, staring at the spot where the two had disappeared. Two infants at home.

Knowing that no one saw him, _he smiled_. At that time, he could say that things went well. Only he had to arrange matters of admission to the Department of Tonan.

He kept his hands in his pocket and went to his room, listening entertained the shouts and laughter of his brother and his girlfriend.

Naoki wondered what kind of things would happen at the university.

He sighed… prior to that, he had to prepare his speech for the end of high school.


	21. A world of expectations

**Chapter 21**

 **A world of expectations**

* * *

Naoki felt a presence stand beside him so he had to raise his look from the book he had in his desk, to attend the tutor, who was waiting for his attention.

"How did you do in your exam, Irie?" Asked the teacher with his common circumspection, that made him look arrogant among the staff.

He sighed. The question was here.

"I didn't take it," he announced and saw with satisfaction that the teacher lost his composure before him, dropping the pen and paper in his hands, his mouth slightly open. His companions seemed to be attracted to that and turned in their direction, looking amazed to their stunned sensei and him. After all, the room was always quiet and any noise attracted little attention.

They also had to hear his voice.

 _How annoying_.

Surely, they sought the reason he did not take the test, but he should not give explanations.

"Why?" Questioned his tutor, recovering slowly, repositioning his lenses, fallen to the tip of his nose. "Something stopped you?"

"It was my decision, sensei," he told him firmly, almost daring him to say anything against it.

The gasps filled the classroom, and his teacher didn't shut them up, blinking repeatedly, gobsmacked.

Naoki did not care.

"And another university?" Insisted the teacher.

He shrugged. "I won't take any exam."

Watanabe, in front of him, bent to pick up his teacher's belongings, who accepted them in silent. His classmate gave him a puzzled look. "Tonan?" He spoke softly, to which he nodded.

This time the teacher made a sound in his mouth and stared at his face.

Naoki didn't pay attention to it, as if oblivious to the surprise, indignation or disbelief that crossed his teacher, who could only get away muttering words concerning Tonan and misunderstanding of the decision.

"Is for real?" Watanabe asked and he nodded, before returning to his affairs.

For the first time, the very silent Class A spent a long time whispering to each other.

He rolled his eyes and grimaced in disgust, they seemed ill-mannered, gossiping about a person with this one still in the room. He cared very little and concentrated on the book he had borrowed from the public library, but the buzzing made him be the first out of the class at the break.

When he left the toilets before the last period class, he made a sound of annoyance with his mouth, seeing that others were watching him. It was ridiculous that not studying at Todai made him worthy of such interest; he did not want to think how much more annoying would have been if he rejected university.

Naoki frowned at seeing that Kotoko passed him to enter the female toilets, her head down, unaware of his presence.

He shrugged and went to his classroom, ignoring, as usual, he was being the cynosure of all eyes; fortunately, there were just two and a half weeks of classes less, which would go fast, now that the time passed quickly—not as the previous year.

In addition, the whispers and rumors would end in a few days.

 **[...]**

"I cannot believe that is our graduation day, Naoki-kun!" Kotoko said in a spirited tone at his back, walking to school.

Naoki rolled his eyes, but he admitted to himself how quickly have arrived that day, and that if things went well, he'd wake up and find himself in a few years, finishing his career, and, if his mother succeeded, by then already married with Kotoko.

Another he would have thought that the time would pass slowly, but he had a feeling it would go like lightning. Already the current year passed like the speed of light… Moreover, it was _interesting_ , unlike others.

"I'm nervous to stand before the assembly, with all those people watching me and waiting for me to do something wrong."

Kotoko's superstitions, he thought, although he was not so surprised that they chose her as representative of her group, as she was the best of it, a discovery in the history of high school. What irritated him was seeing Ikezawa at the front too, but Kotoko said his classmates favored him and that the teacher thought it was a good consolation prize for not going to college.

Silly sentimentalism, in his opinion.

"How do you do it, Naoki-kun? Can you give me some advice?"

He sighed, why would he have any?

For him there was no problem to come forward and talk, he just did it as he did everything else. There was only one moment in a contest of second grade, the first time he was at the front, that he thought the taunts of the previous year would be repeated, but the other children had forgotten the incident; and he, in front, concentrating on what he was doing, had dismissed the situation quickly.

He refused and Kotoko moaned.

"Just do not make a fool of yourself."

"It's very easy for you to say." She muttered under her breath.

He snorted.

"It's a pity that my classes with you will be finished," commented Kotoko. "Right, Naoki-kun?"

Just for her.

He shrugged.

"Naoki-kun?" she called out again, after a period of silence.

"Now what?"

"Will you give your button at the end of the ceremony?"

 _Foolish tradition._

"I do not believe on it," he muttered.

"But… I'm your girlfriend and… you'll make me very happy."

So what? It was not enough argument to change his mind.

"And if I did not give it to me, all the other girls will insist to have it."

He didn't believe it possible, for some time the students had stopped to come in his way. It was a big difference they knew he had a girlfriend.

"So, will you?"

He just hoped she didn't plant to insist until a positive response on his part, because the nuisance made him do the impossible.

"Better focus on not failing today," he said in response to make her forget the topic.

"I'm soooo nervous!" Kotoko exclaimed. "I don't have to make mistakes to not embarrass Naoki-kun!"

He followed the road listening her talk. She wanted to hear his speech, which he had not let her read before, although she said she wanted to witness it, like three years ago, and feel she was back in time, without changing everything she had lived.

Like many other times, he wondered where he had so much energy to talk a lot.

"And after this we'll go to the same college," she said, but with a different tone.

He raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to Kotoko, who suddenly looked dejected. Where was all her excitement to study in the same place?

He assumed that nerves influenced her, but he had a slight feeling of were that sudden strange attitude came from.

"What about that?" he asked after a sigh.

"Nothing," she said raising her face, shaking her head. "Today is our graduation!"

"Yes!" Shouted two familiar voices. Soon, Kotoko was carried away to school by her friends.

He put his hands in his pockets and nodded when Watanabe joined him.

"The teachers are upset that you didn't take the exam to Todai," said his classmate and he shrugged. "Is that the guy who did not go to college?" asked Watanabe, pointing to the right.

Naoki followed his gaze and saw Ikezawa, who had his eye on Kotoko, in a way that he did not like. He wrinkled his mouth and nodded.

"He doesn't seem very distressed about it."

"He's only an idiot," he replied, shrugging.

"He looks very resolute, so he must have gotten over it," Watanabe remarked, continuing the way to school when he stepped forward.

He thought of the words of his classmate. Perhaps it was true, although the matter he felt concerned, the interest of his girlfriend, remained the same.

 **[…]**

Preceding his group as the representative of the generation, Naoki entered the auditorium for the graduation ceremony.

He occupied the first seat and his classmates followed suit in their respective places, while the principal introduced the groups behind him, until the F, which was accompanied by a series of cheers. Watanabe and Koujiro, beside him, as representatives of their group to receive certificates, let out a laugh, like some of his classmates; he remained undaunted.

Once everyone was properly seated, the principal began the ceremony, speaking about the journey of the students and the future starting from that day and how proud he was of the first generation in which almost all got a place at university. Ikezawa, if he had tried, would have completed the generation.

The principal went on a few more minutes and then called him to the podium to give his speech, introducing him as the best student of the generation.

He stood after the applause and walked the short path that led him to the stairs, which he rose calm, to stand before the principal. He bowed.

He glanced at the assembly with a polite smile and began the speech he had prepared for that day, which completed the one given on the first day of school.

"In this day, peach flowers have matured, as the days get warmer," he said slowly glancing at the audience. "I am honored to have so many here today to make this ceremony great and magnificent."

He spoke of the challenges they might have faced those days and good wishes for the future, the importance of perseverance to achieve success and the hope that they contribute to the welfare of their nation and society, making people feel proud for belonging to that school.. He offered his thanks to the teaching staff and parents of all of them and concluded with a farewell to the other students, wishing to triumph and reach the dreams they had.

Those final words, as an added afterthought.

He nodded to others, congratulating them on graduation, and fell silent, after which the audience was filled with applause, the indication to return to his place.

"We're moved by the words of the graduate representative and we appreciate that he gives voice to students this day. Now, students representing each group to deliver certificates to their classmates. Class A, Hitoshi Watanabe and Rinko Koujiro…"

Naoki saw the delivery without much interest, finished his participation. In pairs, after being appointed, the students representing their classes went to the stage to receive the diplomas.

"Finally, representing the Class F, Ikezawa Kinnosuke," he heard the cry of the guy, "and Aihara Kotoko." There was silence at the mention of her name, to what many turned to the back

 _He could bet that she was daydreaming_.

"Aihara Kotoko," repeated the principal with perplexed voice, and then he heard a commotion behind.

"Here!" Kotoko yelled.

He rolled his eyes, while laughter filled the auditorium.

Askance, he saw her advance accompanied by Ikezawa, who seemed to glow with a Cheshire grin on his face. "Come, Kotoko; we should go with arms linked." He spoke, not very low. Naoki wrinkled his nose, how ridiculous.

"Do not be stupid, Kin-chan!" Kotoko protested, making him smile arrogantly. "There is no reason to do so."

"It's our wedding day," Ikezawa whispered as they passed him, and Naoki identified in the guy one of the stupefied expressions that Kotoko put in the middle of a dream.

How stupid, imagine a wedding in that moment, with someone else's gilfriend. _His_.

He was a pathetic fool.

And he imagined that Kotoko would not be freed of the shame she wanted to avoid that day, after her initial mishap.

Both went to the stand. She spread her hands to receive their share certificates, but Ikezawa did not, and the principal said his name quietly, but then had to repeat it on the microphone.

"Ikezawa Kinnosuke," repeated the principal, and Kotoko placed her hands for the other certificates, elbowing his companion.

"What do you think is going on?" Watanabe said, beside him. He shrugged, amused of imagining the broken dreams that would last in Ikezawa, which shouldn't be dreaming with the moment when he "married" with Kotoko.

"Ikezawa Kinnosuke."

"Kin-chan." The proximity allowed him to hear the call from his girlfriend.

"Of course, I do! I accept!" Cried the aforementioned, causing the laughter of everybody.

"What do you accept?" muttered the principal into the microphone, with an upset face.

"Shut up, Kin-chan. It's embarrassing!" Kotoko said, with what seemed an angry voice; he recognized the guy achieved the impossible.

Ikezawa took the microphone and held it against his mouth; Naoki crossed his arms seeing something interesting. "Not! I have to talk! He jump with the shriek; the idiot didn't know the use of the microphone. "Naoki Irie!" In his periphery he caught the interested look of Watanabe. "Do not you feel good just because you're going to the same college as Kotoko and because now you're her boyfriend!" said Ikezawa pointing at him. "Before everyone, I'll triumph and soon I will become a skilled chef! And Kotoko will prefer me and I will marry her!"

"Wow, Irie-san does have competition," said someone at his back, making him snort.

"Aihara-san must be really good at something," added another.

"She managed to be on the fifty this year," noted one more person.

He raised an eyebrow at Ikezawa, to whom Kotoko tried to push to silence him, as allowed her the diplomas. She said things between her teeth, but he couldn't read her lips.

"I just wanted to tell everyone, because Kotoko and he did not make the best couple," yelled the loud-mouthed, with the focus on them all. "Do you agree with me? None objection! True!" He laughed at the end, making him shiver with disgust.

How stupid, as if was necessary to shame oneself so publicly.

"Objection!" Naoki put a hand to his forehead, with the participation of his mother. For real? "Onii-chan, say something fast!" she demanded him. "Face him and tell him you'll never let that happen!"

He lowered his head and covered his face with his hands, praying that his mother was less untimely and impulsive.

"'Onii-chan' refers to you, isn't it?" Asked one of his classmates from the back seats.

"Irie has it hard," someone from his group remarked.

As if he were to allow such nonsense.

"Kin-chan, you idiot!" Kotoko suddenly proclaimed, attracting the attention of the public. He looked up again; Ikezawa had paled and she had the face red. "I no longer know you! You have no right! And you're embarrassing me!"

Kotoko stepped to go down and Kinnosuke held her, but she wanted to step away and lost on the step, slipping. The papers flew, landing on the carpeted floor.

Ikezawa and his mother screamed her name.

Naoki took again the hand to his forehead, rolling his eyes.

"No, no, no, no," she repeated kneeling, making movements of denial with her head, as she gathered certificates.

No sequel had to leave her fall because she was concentrated on that.

He bent down to pick up a certificate at his feet, casually hers, and gave it toward her. "Thank you so much," Kotoko whispered without turning, until she did it and opened her eyes with astonishment.

He picked her up slightly from the ear. "Be careful, silly," he softly muttered, then straightened. She nodded with her eyes downcast.

Ikezawa then approached Kotoko, who stood and ignored him, walking with her head high to her place, with Ikezawa following her like a lapdog.

He lifted the corner of his lip petulantly.

After that, the ceremony ended soon, and the period of the institute concluded. He went for his belongings.

Upon leaving the auditorium, he met many female eyes, watching his chest. For a second he hesitated if they would bother him with the ridiculous request of the second button, destined to his special girl, but as he felt that a body of known weight hung from his arm, the owners of the glances turned around, with similar expressions of regret on their faces.

Naoki let out a sigh of exasperation, disengaging his arm from Kotoko to continue his way to the lockers.

"Will you give your second button?"

He shook his head.

"Please?" She asked with a pout on her lips.

He rolled his eyes. "Kotoko-chan! Onii-chan!" Called his mother behind them and he stopped at the middle of the yard, with a sigh, wondering what she wanted. Enough was her ridiculous act in the auditorium.

"Oba-sama," Kotoko he greeted his mother, who stood before them and hugged her.

"Congratulations to both of you."

"Thanks, Oba-sama." In that moment both their parents arrived, Shigeo-san with the video camera under his arm.

"Many congratulations," said his father.

"I never thought I would see this day," Shigeo-san whispered, his eyes glassy. "And Kotoko will study the university."

"Dad," she murmured. His father patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Ai-chan, stop it, Kotoko-chan is a great young woman."

"Onii-chan, you haven't given your button Kotoko-chan?" inquired his mother in recrimination tone, scrutinizing gaze.

"I do not believe in that," he muttered, averting his eyes from her.

"But Kotoko-chan does, and you do not lose anything to give the button," argued his mother, insistent as ever.

"Yes!" agreed Kotoko clapping.

"I can give Kotoko my button!" Naoki almost growled when the loudmouth placed a hand on his arm between him and Kotoko.

"Do not!" Cried the women simultaneously.

He took Ikezawa's hand away in disgust.

"Kinnosuke," Shigeo-san said with narrowed eyes.

"Boss-father!"

"I told you not to call me that," chided her father, earning a bow of apology from Ikezawa.

Naoki watched the exchange with interest. So the guy would be working with his father-in-law? How _convenient way_ to achieve his dream.

He stepped to continue his way, but noted that others were moving to keep up, and stopped.

"I just wish to call you father someday, boss!" declared solemn Ikezawa. "And I'll start giving my button to Kotoko."

"Kotoko-chan does not want your button, boy!" his mother interjected, starting a staring contest with former student of F. Kotoko nodded, but neither saw it. "She wants onii-chan's!"

"But if he does not give it to her, I can," replied Ikezawa. Naoki stepped forward again and they followed him, disturbing.

He clenched his hands into fists at his sides.

"You will not do it!" Fight his mother.

"Yes!" Said the other, raising a fist.

The other three were seeing the exchange; Kotoko changed the direction of her head each, negating and affirming with each sentence, to the point that she almost got confused and accepted the button from Ikezawa, bringing her hands to her cheeks, but he just saw it.

They tried his patience. He massaged the bridge of his nose, and then take his hand to his chest, before regretting it.

He took advance that Kotoko was putting down her hands to catch her right one and place the damn button to conclude that nonsense and be alone.

"I'll get my things," he said aloud before doing it.

"Onii-chan! The button! The pictures!" Cried his mother at his back.

"Oba-sama…" That was Kotoko.

His mother screamed, and even the birds flew. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, rubbing them as he shook his head.

 **[…]**

Naoki already knew from comments of Kotoko about the celebration at night, his group and hers would share the same room—he found out late, of course, since he Ikezawa organized it—, but still it was irksomely to be in the same place, more for the gasps of both groups, than anything else.

The only satisfaction was the expression of disbelief of Ikezawa, passing him in the company of his classmates of three years.

"Oh, Class F." Watanabe said behind him. "What a coincidence. You must be lucky, Irie."

"Don't tell me that Class A will also be celebrating here! It cannot be!" Ikezawa yelled with such outrage that he almost could hear his teeth gnashing at the end.

"Unfortunately, for you, so it is," answered Naoki, following his path.

His classmates at his side, who entered at the time, began to complain loudly to share space with F's.

"What's wrong with you?! What's wrong with Class F?!" Ikezawa snapped, causing laughter in the other, and comments that it was the clown of the ceremony.

Already in their places, the teacher, who had ordered them there, invited them the dishes of the evening. They began to taste civilized until the room was darkened, and a focus on stage ignited; there appeared Ikezawa, dressed like a bad imitation of Elvis Presley.

"Once again him?" Asked someone.

"I had a special song for this day, but I will settle to dedicate a song to my dear classmates from F, the second song that I prepared for tonight," said Ikezawa microphone. Then, he made them shudder with horror, with hideous notes and a terrible lyric, which contents were merely repetitive phrases "my brothers F, always united" and "forever Class F".

His classmates around him roared with laughter, Ikezawa's, except for those who accompanied him on stage, did not seem very comfortable, as their embarrassed expression told.

"Listen to my second verse!"

"What?!"

"There is more?!"

Shouted those of his part of the room and saw some slight nods from some of F. Probably, from a more refined voice, the gesture would have pleased them.

Kotoko was right; he wasn't good at singing.

"Please, no, I'll waste my food," he said aloud, carrying his glass to his mouth.

"What did you say?!" Ikezawa protested. "Irie bastard! Genius demon!"

The melody of a phone rang in the room, and all witnessed the "singer" responding, stressing the word "boss".

 _He owed a big thanks to Shigeo-san for interrupting the torture_.

Quickly, Ikezawa approached Kotoko, said something, and ran to the exit, taking the guitar behind him and leaving stunned his friends, still on stage with their electric bass and piano.

The room lights came on in full.

"That student, I heard he's not going to college but started to work." Spoke his sensei, rising from his seat, with his well-known prideful pose.

"What do you mean by that?!" Claimed Kotoko's tutor. He had known him when he asked for her homework; he liked him better, his personality almost like his father.

"No, nothing," said his teacher, readjusting his glasses the way he did when he got to his haughty attitude.

"He'll join the society prior to his generation!" Stood up for Ikezawa the other teacher. "There's no reason to treat him like an idiot!"

"True!" Supported Kotoko's classmates in an admirable way, but he had already thought so before. He thought maybe they were worth defending, although not Ikezawa, because he didn't like the guy… despite admitting that he was good with food.

"Truly, all of you." His teacher crossed his arms. "Also, it seems to be a student in class F that, despite her exposed abilities, is nothing more than a distraction for our best student."

Naoki straightened, his teacher was intruding in his life, the way he should not; there was a limit, the other must not exceed. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked at Watanabe, who pointed at his hand grasped—he didn't know at what time he put it that way.

"There's a rumor, and I dare believe it, that says it is her fault that he hasn't gone to the University of Tokyo." Keep going his teacher, walking until he was within an inch of his girlfriend, and he, trying to relax his hands, stood.

What foolishness was he saying? Which rumor was he talking that, for once, did not reach his ears?

It came to his mind Kotoko reactions after he told his teacher he would not go to Todai. Now it was clear and he felt angry. Did they not believe him able to make his own decisions? Did they expect him to fulfill what they wanted and what he wanted? What right did they have to demand to her, being that he was the one who had the right to say things to her?

He saw her look down.

His classmates began to give comments seconding the words of his sensei, criticizing Kotoko, while hers, around her, supported her.

He thought about the nonsense his ex-classmates were saying, except for Watanabe and Koujiro, standing at his side. Kotoko prevented him from going? _As if he were to let anything stop him if he wanted to go to Tokyo University_.

That she was a hindrance?

Kotoko was better for him than they were; she helped him to find a professional future… while the others only had continually pressed him and expected to fulfill their wishes or stood out, as they could not.

Apparently, the A could be unconscious and disrespectful, regardless of his decisions.

"Sensei," he said, advancing to meet with his teacher. "Is not her fault."

"But Irie…"

"And nobody has the right to assume otherwise. In addition," he added, raising his voice, "I have not given right to comment on my life."

There was a collective gasp in the room.

"As if I could not show to be the best in our university… You question my abilities."

"Irie-san, you do not know what you are saying," said someone, no matter who.

"It's true, Irie, you do not realize the mistake that you make in your life."

"You've got to be with someone better."

"Irie, as superior, I advise you to reconsider your decisions. It is still not too late."

The F remained silent, watching, and he even noticed a worried look from the sensei of the group. He hated that show of his life.

He rolled his eyes, he was tired of that nonsense, he thought, with the idea of leaving; incidentally, taking Kotoko with him, who hitherto had not raised her head.

That silly; she wasn't able to see how stupid it all was.

"Did any have taken the chance to meet Kotoko-san?" Asked Koujiro, silencing them all, offering the perfect moment to slip away.

"Yes!" Cried Kotoko's friends and others who knew her nodded too.

"But it's just one more of F class!"

He saw Kotoko lost in her group, before he reached her.

"Aihara-san has brainwashed Irie!"

"Kotoko is not like that!"

"She only took advantage of Irie-san!"

Naoki cared very little of the fight and went to the door. He went out and looked sideways until he found the red hair of Kotoko, slightly darkened by the night.

Her stumble gave him time to get close to her; she stood up seeing him and ran to her left, a dead end.

He held her to get her out of there and let the ridiculousness go away, then go home, but she surprised him by pulling away, clinging to the wall.

"Leave, Naoki-kun," she murmured, looking away.

Now, what was wrong?

He turned, aware of knowing he could not leave her there in the middle of the night.

He fixed his eyes on her, who shrugged and tried to look away but he noticed, to his displeasure with such scenes, her eyes were filled with tears.

"Your classmates… they are… right…" she whispered, before letting out a sob.

For real?

"Do not say…

"I'll be better…" she interrupted, "if I'm no longer your girlfriend… because I'm bad for you…"

By the gods, what was her occurrence now?

"You need someone better at your side… I'm not…"

Was he really going to hear that nonsense? First the "best in class" and now she was with that speech. He turned to the main road, holding her wrist, but she stood firmly in place and he could not move her.

"We don't… and I'll stop loving you." Something in her words made his body stiffen; it was her resolute way of speaking that caused her fight for things. And to get them. What was she trying to say? What did she try to do?

He turned, focusing his eyes on her resolute eyes.

"I'll be able to find someone… that's right… for me," she spoke, raising her head, still sobbing.

Oh, no. She'd better not think of something like that happening. She was _his_ girlfriend and he decided whether they finished, and the last _was not an option_. Much less, he would provide an opportunity for someone like Ikezawa to take advantage of her.

"I'll do that. I'll stop… loving you…"

"Kotoko, shut up," he snapped, cornering her against the wall.

She shook her head and he gritted his teeth, fearing she put her mind to it. He liked Kotoko; he would not let her get away. He did not want to ever imagining her with another.

Kotoko tried to speak.

He slammed his lips on hers, abruptly. "Shut up," he said. "Stop your nonsense."

She was the one he liked and he was the one who made decisions for himself, and whom he chose, as his girlfriend, was she. And he did not like or wanted to… _he hated to hear her say she would be with someone else_. Another whom she offered her unconditional loyalty, her smiles, her kisses, her confidence, her efforts, her stupid gifts, her effusiveness, her innocence, her enthusiasm, her support; everything she was with him.

 _She'd better not think so_.

"Naoki-kun."

"Hush," he insisted and again pressed his lips on hers, to erase her words with that kiss, in her mind and his.

So he kissed with rage, nibbling her lips and swallowing her gasps, with the goal of eliminating those false impressions and beliefs, of erasing the thought she wasn't right for him and he could not choose who he wishes… To get her rid of the idea she could make the decision to get away and think that he had nothing to say.

He kissed her because, _hell_ , just imagining her with other man _made him furious_.


	22. Life's open doors

**Chapter 22**

 **Life's open doors**

* * *

Naoki put Chibi in the rear of the car and the dog quickly settled to sleep… as if all the holidays in which he was home he had done something different than that—besides eating and visiting the neighbors' Doberman.

He closed the door and his mother climbed into the driver's seat to return the pet to his grandmother.

"See you later, oba-sama!" Kotoko shouted waving her hand when his mother started.

"Good-bye, Chibi!" Said his brother, dismissing the dog like his girlfriend.

Naoki folded his arms and watched them disappear, before returning inside the house.

"I'm a little sad that Chibi's gone, but I'm happy of not having a dog at home," Kotoko said aloud, making Yuuki laugh, as he did from the first day, seeing her overreaction to the arrival of his grandmother's Saint Bernard, squealing when he rushed to meet her.

She had not spent much time in her room as that month, but after two weeks, she gave up and went out, forced to get along with Chibi because of Yuuki.

" _Small_ ," Kotoko muttered, shaking and clutching his arm, mocking the dog's name, which, ironically, had a large size, in opposition to the meaning of Chibi. "He almost ate my bracelet."

"Don't say nonsense," he replied, going to the stairs to continue reading in his room, ignoring the brightness of the bracelet that his mother left him at his desk on March 13; she bought it for White Day (as his present for his girlfriend). He only mimicked her actions and, at night, placed it beside the bed of Kotoko.

Being honest with himself, he hadn't been aware of the arrival of that day, immersed in his medical book and, at certain moments, distracted by the repetition _of the event of his graduation night_ , already forgotten by her. Therefore, when he was aware of March 14 and thought about his resolution of the last month, he shrugged at seeing the silver bracelet, with a few trinkets, and used it as a present. He was going to buy some candy for her, but he supposed that she would be happier with the object acquired by his mother.

"Grandma should leave Chibi more time," Yuuki said, and Naoki saw him stick out his tongue to Kotoko, who jumped to catch his brother, but failed and fell to the floor. "Baka, who would think that tomorrow you'll be going to university?" Sneered his brother, as he watched her groaning and rubbing her chin.

Naoki laughed, finishing going up the stairs.

 **[…]**

"Oh, I'm so nervous!"

Naoki glanced, briefly, to where Kotoko sat beside his mother, drinking coffee, and continued on his way to the door. She wore formal wear, both jacket and skirt of a light pink color.

"Onii-chan! Does Kotoko-chan look good with her suit, doesn't she?

He rolled his eyes by the enthusiasm of his mother; she clearly knew he didn't judge by the clothes.

"She really looks like an undergraduate," opined his mother.

"That does not depend on the clothes," he remarked.

He would not give the pleasure to hear that, indeed, she did not look bad as she was dressed; but that was not the Kotoko he knew.

"I'm leaving."

He heard the clatter of porcelain hitting each other. "I gotta leave too!" said Kotoko. "Don't want to be late in my first day."

Of course, or being lost on campus, he imagined, containing a snort.

Both left home and, strangely, the road was quiet from Kotoko; maybe her nerves were the reason. He thanked the quiet atmosphere to enjoy the tranquility, at least the first day. Although her talking didn't bother him anymore.

"Naoki-kun, we are undergraduates!" she proclaimed when the campus was in their sight. "The doors of our university days are opened!"

He made a sound of affirmation with his mouth; before, he hadn't believed he'd be there, as he had mulled over it and had a lack of security in what he would do.

"Try not to get me involved in your problems," he asked for uselessly, because she would make him, in one way or another (she thought of him as a _part of her_ ). He just hoped that college life kept her busy enough.

"Hey?" she replied. "Why are you so sure I'll get in trouble?"

"It seems to be part of your name," he expressed joyfully at her inflated cheeks. Or she got into them or caused them; the name suited her.

She pouted, crossing her arms.

"Kotoko!" Her two friends approached her at the time, making the aforementioned smile.

"We only want to wish you good luck on your first day!"

"Yes, as we won't be together," added the other." Can you believe that the Department of Literature has the reputation of being the F of college?"

"For real?"

"But you've abandoned us, Kotoko. Now you'll be a step up, as in the E."

"What?! Kotoko snapped. "And Naoki-kun will still be in the A!"

Naoki contained a laugh, continuing his way to the medical department.

"Where is Naoki-kun?!" He listened when he was already far away.

He sighed.

He went to the same building as the first time he asked for information and saw other young people taking the same way, many with thick books in his hands, which he had read already. Close to the building, the bustle of the main entrance to the university ended and the stillness reigned; he listened only the chirping of birds in the cherry trees beginning to bloom.

He entered the building of first year behind a group and went to the classroom where he would have his first class; the only sound was footsteps.

Already in a seat at the corner of the classroom, someone sat in the place next to him—sharing the table—when the teacher made his entrance.

"Students, today began his training as doctors. I hope the dedication of all of you from this moment, to the work you'll do in the future," began the doctor of gray hair, adjusting his glasses when they slipped on his nose, "but before starting the lesson, let me say how proud I am that the two best students in the national exam are today in our classrooms."

Doctor Iwamura, to whom he had spoken earlier, looked at the classroom until he found him.

"Yes, I'm glad to see that they share table. Naoki Irie and Seiichi Funatsu, we are honored to have you."

Naoki nodded and cast a surreptitious glance at the one at his side, frowning. He remembered the boy with lens from the day of the exam of Todai; Kotoko had hit him. Wasn't he accepted?

The teacher had said that was they were the best in the national exam, so it was unlikely.

He didn't matter.

He directed a nod to his classmate—who narrowed his eyes, clenched his fists—, and turned his attention to the front, to attend the lesson.

 **[…]**

The cafeteria reminded Naoki the place full of young people in which he was, after peaceful hours he had in his department, where the study took precedence, as it did in high school. He already liked the classes; the teachers, without focusing solely on books, used their experience in the area to help their training.

As Kotoko said, he would have missed that if he had not attended college. And, of course, he wasn't naïve, believing that the medical profession was something he could do on his own.

"Naoki-kun, our rest matches, so good!" He sighed and nodded when Kotoko stood beside him at the counter. "How did it go?"

"Well," he said, watching the daily menus to decide what to order.

"The same with me, I have met many people, and teachers are very good, I was told I'll do practice towards the end of the year. And… what am I going to ask?"

"A lunch," he ordered aloud.

"I also want the same!" She said, with emotion, before continuing animatedly her talk about her day.

A few minutes passed and two trays of food, clearly disproportionate, were placed on the counter.

What mockery was that?

Kotoko also compared both trays with a stunned look.

"Here are your orders." Naoki felt his eyelids tremble, _recognizing the voice_. In his first day at the university, he could not found, precisely, that guy.

"Kin-chan? What are you doing here? Why didn't you give Naoki-fun his food properly?!"

There was the explanation for difference portions, he analyzed displeased.

"Kotoko, this is the food you need to take vitamins and energy to your learning. He doesn't need them," Kotoko's admired explained. He even could not be free of him there. How frustrating.

"Serve me my food, cook," he said with his eyelid shaking.

"You do have guts, Mr. Genius," scoffed Ikezawa, looking at him briefly before returning his attention to Kotoko. "And I work in the cafeteria in the day, at night I work with father."

"Kin-chan, he's not your father!" Cut Kotoko with a fist raised.

"I'm saving money so you see my dedication to you, to give you a good future. And…" Ikezawa leaned toward him, "…this demon will soon show his true face, I must be there to protect you and show you my unconditional love for you."

That stupid guy. He did not understand how stupid could he be, to say such nonsense. He'd better not lost his time, mostly if Kotoko was unhappy and not interested in him.

"Why are you so sure that there is another side of him? Don't say that, Kin-chan!" claimed his girlfriend. "Stop talking about that."

"I held my opinion," Ikezawa crossed his arms and lifted his chin. "Speechless, eh, Mr. Genius?"

"Great job," he said clapping, oozing sarcasm, picking up his tray to walk to another in charge of the kitchen, who served him the amount due and gave, to his satisfaction, a rebuke to Ikezawa.

"I don't understand Kin-chan," mentioned Kotoko appearing again on his side.

He raised an eyebrow; if she did not, closer to his ability, he did not know how he could do it. The only possible explanation was that his obsession with Kotoko damaged his mental faculties. It was almost a year and he still keep going.

"Where will we sit, Naoki-kun?" Kotoko asked. He did not respond, not interested in also occupying the same place as her there.

However, he changed his mind when he saw a hand waving at the entrance to the cafeteria and someone calling him. Sudou.

"Just take the nearest table," he gestured to Kotoko, but she put attention to the newcomer.

"Irie, here you are," greeted the man with black mustache and hair, stopping in front of him.

"Sudou-san," he said, sighing.

"I've been looking for you since I heard you stayed in this university," Sudou explained, smiling. "I must confess I was surprised."

"Uh, yes," he replied, going away slowly, followed by Kotoko and the coach.

"So… you know what I want, right?" Replied Sudou.

"No, I don't want…" he said, seeing an empty table, which he began heading.

"Naoki-kun?" Kotoko whispered.

"Please. Do not say that!" He rolled his eyes at Sudou's acting.

"I have other interests," he said, without being rude.

"Irie, I beg you!" he insisted in and a most irritating way. "Remember who taught you… you know what…," he whispered.

"I won't!" In which way should he say it? He was interested in the sport, but at the time, he wanted to get used to his career.

Sudou was in front of him, blocking his way.

"I need you! I WANT YOU TO BE MINE!" The noise in the cafeteria went down and Naoki felt his eyelids tremble, looking angered at Sudou, while people around him made assumptions about their sexuality, their orientation, and preferences.

"I knew you had something!" Cried at the distance the voice of Ikezawa. The vein in his temple throbbed.

"WHAT?!" Kotoko bellowed, approaching Sudou, who, in turn, positioned his hands on his biceps of both arms. He tried to pull away, but he did not want to throw the tray of food so his attempt was unsuccessful.

"I'm pleading, Irie."

"Stop," he ordered Sudou. Kotoko looked at the coach helplessly; her tray also occupied her hands. She could have taken him off, he regretted for one second.

"Leave him alone! Kotoko demanded then. "He is not yours, but… MINE!" she complained, very possessive. He suppressed a smile.

"NOT! I will not give up until you accept, Irie! I'll ask as many times as necessary!" Every content in Sudou's speech could be misunderstand, and he hated that in his first day happened that. Not that he cared what people thought of him, or his orientation, but he did not want to attract attention with scandals… or much less to incite innuendo.

He even had a girlfriend.

"LISTEN TO THAT, KOTOKO, MY FUTURE BRIDE!" yelled Ikezawa.

 _He also didn't want to raise the jerks expectations._

"Your're working, Ikezawa!"

"Shut up, Kin-chan!"

"I need you!" Keep going Sudou undaunted with the events around him. He could be insistent. "I want you to be mine! Irie-kun, please!"

All that for tennis? He had a problem, or much love for the sport, that he did not share.

He took the time to get a table and sit; Kotoko did the same, but occupied a place between Sudou and he.

He began taking his lunch quickly, for the time remaining.

"Stop chasing him!" defended her.

"This is between him and me, redhead," said Sudou in a firm tone. "Please Irie-kun!"

"All right," he mumbled to shut him up; he was tired of it.

"Thanks, thanks! You make me so happy just to have your name on the team and my club!"

Askance, Naoki saw that people stopped paying attention, finishing the show. He exhaled in relief.

"Wait," Kotoko interjected. "What did Naoki-kun accept? Who are you and why do you seem familiar?" Kotoko said, frowning. "What team?"

"He'll be in my tennis club! I am Sudou." Said the dark-haired man.

His girlfriend threw an exhalation. "Aihara. _His girlfriend_. Tennis Club? Can I join?!

Naoki sighed imagining her purpose. "Give me a break," he whispered.

But she didn't pay attention.

"Do you play tennis?" Nor the other did, enthusiastic about his damn team.

To think that he had gotten rid of the tutorials. Now he would occasionally see her at the club… _when he decided to attend_.

He decided to speak. "She's bad; she doesn't have good reflexes; she strikes the ball, at most, only once in a "match", and sends it flying when she's in service," he summarized, according to his observations of her training.

He saw Kotoko and Sudou's smiles disappear.

"The only point in her favor is that she does not miss training once," he said aloud. And that she faced all the training time with a smile, trying again and again with the belief that she could, celebrating to the four winds the single occasion that she hit, or, laughing at the fun of letting the ball escape, he thought, nonetheless.

In addition to enjoying it, as he did not really get to, unless he observed her absurdities and enjoyed the time.

"You don't have to be so mean," said Kotoko with a pout.

"Perhaps you want me to lie?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She refused. It was better that Sudou didn't accept her on his club; although he only pretended to attend on tournaments, he had a feeling that her presence would mean shameful moments.

"But I want to belong to a university club," argued Kotoko.

"Find a club for you if you want both belong to one," he pointed and she scratched her chin, nodding until much later.

"Well, I already have the person I want; now I have another missing." Sudou's face changed from a happy smile, to a dazing one. He had a suspicion why. "See you tomorrow after class, Irie!"

"He's strange," Kotoko mused aloud. "But I'm glad he has no interest in you, Naoki-kun, he seems very determined."

He almost choked on the water.

"What are you trying to insinuate?" He spluttered, with no more hunger.

"Nothing," Kotoko said, with an innocent face. "Where did you know him?"

"I'm going back to classes," he said without answering, standing up.

"You finished!" He heard her as he walked away. "See you at the afternoon, Naoki-kun!"

 **[…]**

"…and there were so many people, oba-sama, and… The campus was very big! It was such an exciting day!" Finished Kotoko during dinner. "Oh, it's true; Naoki-kun joined a club! And I decided to join one," she added, bouncing in her seat.

Naoki continued eating, not take the hint, while other dining seemed very pleased with the story of the first university day through the eyes of Kotoko, who had been very explicit in her description, ending with her general impressions, narrating backwards.

"It's great, onii-chan. And your day was very exciting, Kotoko-chan, I'm so happy for you, for both of you. Some college students. Soon will come the day I'm waiting."

"What day, oba-sama?"

His mother laughed at a very Machiavellian and suspiciously way. She took advantage that Kotoko looked down to give him a wink. How irritating.

"You'll know later, Kotoko-chan."

His father laughed as he frowned at his mother. That damn day could be one with wedding music.

"I'm pleased to know that your day was very good," said his father. "And you, Nao, how did yours go?"

"Fine, thanks."

"Are you comfortable?" He assented. "That's good. And you, Yuuki, why are you so quiet?"

"I'm paired with the new girl for the morning duties, and she is a fool, like Kotoko."

"Hey!" She protested.

"Yuuki, don't talk like that about Kotoko-chan, of your classmate," his mother chided.

"Is there a new girl in your classroom this year, Yuuki?" Kotoko asked with a smile too widely. "And you don't like her. Right?"

His otōto nodded, frowning.

"Why didn't you tell us when you started classes last week?"

"It's not important." Yuuki suited him better to keep quiet because Kotoko had a curious expression on her face that his brother could not see, concentrating on his dinner.

"Oh, I see. And it just bothers you having to clean the classroom with her."

"What's your partner's name, Yuuki?" participated his mother, who have an expression to make him fear, knowing her perfectly. "To talk to the teacher and investigate if she's appropriate."

Kotoko put a hand to her mouth and he raised an eyebrow at his mother, but Yuuki did not seem to realize their ulterior motives and replied: "Sawaga Konomi."

"Yuuki and Konomi, they kiss, they date," sang his girlfriend, making his brother, scowling, stood from his seat to follow her.

His parents laughed. "Children, finish your dinner," said his mother, without containing her dreamy expression.

Naoki stood, wiping his mouth. "Bon appetite."

He did not wish such a fate to his brother, but if it served to distract her some time from him, it was fine…though he felt sorry for his brother. Not that it was final in the case of Yuuki; he was just in fourth grade. The chances of ending with a girl he met in the elementary school were slim.

 **[…]**

Naoki breathed out of relief when Sudou said they were all those who belong to the tennis club that year and proceeded to introduce them to each other.

"…and she is the beautiful Matsumoto Yuuko, who won second place in the last year's Kanto regional tournament," described Sudou the end, after him, pointing to the brunette he met the previous year, located in the seat beside him.

She tried to talk to him, but only managed to extract from him that he studied medicine and that he would not always come to practice, after asking to compete in a match. She insisted on being friends because they share club.

 _However_ , he already knew she was studying in the Department of Science and Technology and chose the university for its tennis team; as well, he knew some of her hobbies, similar to his.

Sudou busied himself a long time talking about his club, regardless of which were under the sun on the court and not on benches near a tree that gave shade.

"Now we proceed to a test for me to measure the skills of new members; I will not be very demanding with you if you have not played before." _Of course_ , Naoki quipped, recalling the manic episodes when he played. "And it will only be an attempt per person, who passes the test, can play on the court. You just have to give a ball twice. Yey! I will ignore the list. Let's see." Sudou looked at the line that formed the new members, to point at a boy. "You! You will be the first to enter the court with your racquet and show me what you got!" He shouted with a friendly smile.

The boy nodded, smiling.

Then, Sudou picked up his racket and the expression on his face changed. Analyzing more, he thought he could be a real case of dissociative identity, and he had two personalities, one in which he was gentle and pleasant, and another that became known with rackets, violent, competitive and obsessive.

It was stupid; he gave that impression, though.

The boy chosen seemed to note that Sudou no longer seemed friendly and walked shakily to the court.

From there began torture for new ones, one by one, Sudou threw them away, being "lethal" in his hits, for which others were not prepared. Matsumoto was only able to return more than two shots because obviously, he was very nice with her.

"And then he wonders why each year few people join the team," Matsumoto commented when Sudou dropped his racket to drink water. Naoki nodded.

"Irie, you! Stop talking to Matsumoto."

"Hey! Naoki-kun!" Interjected at that time Kotoko's voice. He looked at where the sound came from the stands, to which she approached. From his position, he could see the expression that showed her face when she saw Matsumoto.

He could not help smiling sideways.

"Aihara! What a surprise!" Sudou said, approaching the wire mesh separating the stands and the court. "Are you here to watch the training?"

Kotoko nodded, but still looked at Matsumoto, who was looking attentively, in turn, at his girlfriend.

Sudou smiled gently at Kotoko. "Do you still want to join the club?" he asked, surely with a hidden meaning. If she had told him she was his girlfriend, he must do it to put her between Matsumoto and him, as the first was interested in him.

"Can l?" asked his girlfriend, with close attention to Matsumoto. "Even if I ain't good."

"Don't you dare," he warned; she didn't stand his own training. She would just do it to ridiculously follow him and humiliate herself. Moreover, she would end wounded, like the others.

Nevertheless, it would be interesting for her to join and realize that he would not attend regularly… And with her training there, he could get rid of her on Saturdays.

"You'll do the ridiculous," he said anyway, irritated because she wanted to follow him, "and you'll only gather balls." Because the older had commented that the worst ones did that.

Kotoko seemed to think for a moment, staring at him and then back to the other members, who repeatedly denied, forcing her to be hesitant.

"If you want it so much," he muttered, knowing it was useless to stop her if she truly intended it. She would deserve the lesson of suffering at the hands of Sudou; he had tried to be considerate of her, but she was so pushy and nosy, he was certain she would agree, against her own welfare, just to be with him.

She was a fool. Really, though it cost him to admit to himself, and he would not do it to others, he threatened her having in mind her physical safety… as a future doctor. And because, with her bruises, people would look at him as the one who did them.

Also, well, he wouldn't wish the training of Sudou to any novice.

"I …" Kotoko hesitated before answering.

"Kotoko-san!" Suddenly called a series of male voices, and she jumped, startled.

Three boys came up and surrounded her, one holding her hand to kneel before her. Naoki frowned. And who were those? he wondered, looking at the young men with lenses and hippie appearance, acting in _a very personal way_ with his girlfriend.

"You're already part of our club! You don't need to accept!" So she had already joined a club? What nonsense could she have chosen?

"Oh, my!" Sudou blurted, surely, because his plan failed. "You cannot be in two clubs simultaneously."

"But I…"

"Let's go, Kotoko-san. You've given us a wonderful idea!" Said one of the guys to Kotoko.

"Irie, you're next!" he heard Sudou said, away from the mesh.

"Yes, Kotoko-san, we need you to come with us to appreciate you well!"

"Get one of those uniforms for you."

"Because to imagine you in one of them is not enough."

Kotoko's companions took her away holding her arms, while she shook her red face, moving her mouth, with words he could not see.

"All men will love you!"

Naoki eyes narrowed when the others disappeared, and wondered what was happening there, who were they? And what did they mean with 'appreciate her well' and 'all men would love her'? Why would they get her a uniform? What kind of club she had joined? In what problem was that silly now?

"IRIE!" Sudou yelled and he looked at the other side of the court, holding his racket. "I don't have all day!"

 _Neither did he._

He looked angrily at Sudou, determined to finish once that training, to find out what happened and know in what situation was she now… because he'd have problems later, that were accompanied by the signature of his mother.

He grabbed hard the handle of his racket and took position. Sudou made his service and Naoki looked at the ball, to which he gave a heavy blow that even his opponent almost couldn't hit back. He returned the ball, harder, and this time Sudou failed, as the other times they competed in the past.

The club applauded, but he ignored them, going for his belongings.

"Again!" ordered Sudou.

"I already ended here today," he said, and he waved his hands. "Only an attempt per person," he recalled, making him wildly. Sudou called another person, to whom he felt no shame as he retreated.

"Irie-san!" called Matsumoto, but he ignored her.

He pulled out his phone and looked up the number of Kotoko; he pressed it. She answered on the first ring.

"Where are you?"

"Naoki-kun!" He heard her voice in relief, though she didn't ask for help, making him wonder why he bothered in the first place. She always got out of her problems.

"Kotoko-san, pose for us!" He heard in the background.

"Where are you?" he repeated, taking his things from locker to change into a cubicle.

"It is embarrasing! I would not put such small clothes!" She said the other side.

What was happening there? He tried to think, but he couldn't guess what.

She was at the University. What kind of clubs it had? He didn't know. In addition, which would require small clothes? Obviously, it was not swimming. "I'm on the second floor of the club's building, in the first classroom, two hundred and fifteen."

He hung up without saying goodbye, undressing. What was that jealous reaction, out of place, of him? True, the way those guy of lenses had treat Kotoko and their words had been strange and made him suspect in disgust… _but to think about it and go to where she was,_ it was very different _._

However, he did. He went, ready, to the place not far from there and soon was to where she said, reading a sign on the road that said "Club manga and anime" in that department. Really? Kotoko in something like that?

He recapitulated the words… and thought about the kind of manga of great fame, they needed a woman and attracted mostly the _attention of men_.

He didn't like him.

Naoki knocked on the door of the classroom and it opened; there, the scene that greeted him almost made him laugh. It also forced him to feel ridiculous; those guys seemed harmless and didn't think of hentai manga with his girlfriend.

Kotoko was sitting in the middle of four guys with notebooks in hand, kneeling before her like paying her homage; she had bags of chips and a soda at a table, while the others prayed for her as his muse, as an honorary member, requests that the guy who opened him joined.

As far, they would do a shōjo.

"Naoki-kun!" Kotoko said. "They don't understand that they cannot portray me for a sports manga! I don't even know how to play tennis!"

He laughed and shook his head, running a hand across his forehead. _He must have had a very active imagination._

"I'm going home, you coming?" he asked, and she nodded, rising from her seat to the lament of her club members.

"But…" replied the boys.

Kotoko made a hesitant face.

"I'd be interesting," he opined. It'd be to see what kind of things they'd do; they'd surely share it in college, to whom would listen to the 'manga and anime university club'. It could be the only time Kotoko played tennis well.

His girlfriend shrugged and looked at the others.

"Okay."

"You're the best, Kotorin!" Claimed the one with big glasses.

The others jumped. "That name is perfect," said one with long hair.

Naoki left the room with Kotoko, leaving those with their ideas, as she began her prattle about how they made her join when she mistook the classroom that Jinko and Satomi told her.

 _Club of manga and anime_. That would be a _safe_ choice for her, her new admirers would take care of her.

He looked at her askance, denying to himself.

Simply, she quickly get people to like her.


	23. Every day, a little more

**Chapter 23**

 **Every day, a little more**

* * *

Naoki turned off the TV after zapping for a good time. He had left his room to Yuuki, entertained with his little friend, invited by Kotoko, meddling in the matter after she saw his brother's interest on the girl, when she went to his school on behalf of his mother.

Kotoko initially wanted to meet Konomi, but ended up finding a Naomi, whom he wanted to escape just seeing the gaze of admiration that she gave him when he came home; he knew his presence would not help his brother.

He rubbed his temples. _If his mother and Kotoko weren't so nosy_.

"Does college have you stressed?" He jumped and looked to his right; Kotoko was behind the sofa, resting her head on her folded arms.

He denied; on the contrary, he felt comfortable in college and his field of study, although there was a person taking too much interest in his performance in class, and it wasn't a sensei.

Moreover, the pace of life he had adopted was sufficiently calm, with Kotoko immersed in her own studios and his mother giving a slight break for being in college.

"That's good! I think it would be different for another medical student, but you even can watch the TV calm," she remarked, smiling.

"Don't meddle too in Yuuki's life," he said more like an order than a suggestion.

"But Naomi-chan…"

"Has little interest in Yuuki."

"Are you serious?" Kotoko pouted and sighed. "There's still Konomi-chan."

He rolled his eyes. It wouldn't serve to stop her; although, from the little complaints from Yuuki in those weeks, the girl had a lot of his attention, as he described the two days they had cleaned together. He said it unnerved him the silent silly whose lamb eyes followed him all the time.

Of course he wouldn't share that information.

"What do you want?" he asked when she didn't go after a while. He started to solve a Sudoku booklet on the table.

While writing a one with the pen, he noticed sidelong that she walked around the couch, hugging what looked like a book to her chest. She sat beside him in a cushion.

"Naoki-kun?"

"What?" He spluttered, completing five emptier subgrid.

"Look." She showed him the object on her lap, what he saw was a long notebook. It had his and Kotoko's names inside a red heart on a white background with small pink hearts. "I already have our album."

He stared at her face, internally incredulous, but then sighed… she was able to do something like that. And she had said, in summer, she would. He thought it was something momentary when he didn't see it later.

Kotoko placed _the album_ in his lap without asking permission; he gave up because she would be pestering for it. He closed his sudoku book after sighing.

She opened the cover and it showed a photograph of Kotoko in high school uniform, with two side ponytails in her head and a jovial look on her face. She was smiling. On one side of the image, on white background, said it was her first day of school… beside a "Naoki-kun speech" with a small heart. He narrowed his eyes to see a small picture of him; his mother must have taken on his first day.

Kotoko moved to the next page and under a protective plastic, he found the letter she gave him last year, with various drawings all around; watching her cartoons, he thought the anime club fit her but she'd not stand out a lot.

In the pages that follow, he saw different photographs: one of the first board her name appeared, one where they fell asleep, the day they began training tennis; later, he was surprised to find two halves of movie tickets, well preserved with plastic, still showing the date of their first date in the cinema. Also, there was a copy of the ice cream's receipt on her birthday, followed by a photograph of her dressed as a cheerleader and him with his medal tennis tournament… drawings of a bowling alley along with more photographs, of lower quality (phone-like and not well focused), like the kiss when _he was jealous for Ikezawa_ (his mother got away with it), until the day of their graduation.

He rolled his eyes, without her noticing it, thinking that she put more dedication to it than to school.

She reached the end and his eyes fell on the last page, in which two photographs concluded the album, the doll and the bracelet she wore every day, surrounded by red petals of withered rose and a button in the center.

She really was a romantic; it made him irritated to think in such stuff. But if it kept her busy and happy, he'd not say anything… especially since she did not expect him to help.

What bothered him was that it didn't give him enough privacy.

"My mother saw it?" he asked. Kotoko denied. "All right. Don't show it."

"You like it?"

"If I say no, are you going to undo it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. She opened her eyes, bringing a hand to her chin. "Leave it like that."

Kotoko applauded enthusiastically and closed the album, taking it to her chest to hold it. He reopened his book, resuming his Sudoku.

"Thanks, Naoki-kun." Suddenly, she pressed her lips on his cheek and walked away with the face pink. Then she left the room.

He denied, shaking his head. _Our album_. How pathetic.

 _Women._ He said in his mind, filling the last empty subgrid in his game. Only his mother and Kotoko could think such nonsense, as the album of his childhood that his mother kept hidden, but he knew she reviewed from time to time, giving it too much importance. How ridiculous.

"Kotoko-chan, Yuuki, come!" His mother's voice cut through his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder, watching her under the doorjamb.

"Yuuki is with a classmate."

"No, she just left about ten minutes ago," said his mother.

Naoki sighed, wondering what would she want now; it was not time for dinner yet.

Yuuki and Kotoko came running, the first forward with a rosy face.

"What is it, oba-sama?"

"I have great news. Sit, I'll be back."

His brother and girlfriend followed the instruction, both with scowling faces of intrigue; he also was curious what she might want as she showed such emotion.

He shivered when he saw her return with an elongated roll similar to the one she was discussing with his father and his father-in-law, talking about an expansion of the house.

He frowned when his mother winked at him, and wondered if she was challenging him or if she had an ace up her sleeve, to the point of insisting on going against his wishes, although, in fact, she often did.

"Don't be angry, onii-chan," she said, with a smile, sitting beside him, unrolling the paper on the coffee table. "The parents and I were talking, today we have a year living together, and we think now that onii-chan is a medical student and Yuuki is growing, they cannot continue sharing a dorm. Each will need their space."

Naoki thought that this was a credible and worthy of consideration point, because he did not have enough place for his books or clothes in his room.

"So we'll do an expansion of the house," added his mother, signaling the blueprint. "A third floor."

Kotoko and his brother let out a gasp.

"What do you think?" Asked his mother. "Wouldn't you like to have more space, another bathroom, a room for games and exercise?"

Yuuki nodded profusely, but Kotoko bit her lower lip.

"What is it, Kotoko-chan?"

"Dad…"

"Oh! Aihara papa knows; we have been talking." Naoki didn't like the laughter that she released after saying it, but his girlfriend finally smiled, leaning to the blueprint, along with Yuuki.

His mother looked at him. "Onii-chan. And you, what do you think?"

He thought about the album that Kotoko had just show him.

 _That wasn't it._

He nodded. "If you already have decided."

"Yes!" Cried his mother and proceeded to explain her plans to _the children_.

At least, he thought, she was not talking about nursery at the time.

It would be unpleasant to have the noise of the builders on the roof.

 **[...]**

"This food is great! Matsumoto, you're perfect!"

Naoki rolled his eyes at the praises of Sudou, wondering of his presence in that weekend camp with his tennis team. He agreed only because the coach started doing his show in the cafeteria and other campus locations, so that he could face him prior to the championship before the end of the summer holidays, because he did not go to the club more than once a month.

He laughed remembering that Sudou offered Kotoko the opportunity to go, because she witnessed his acceptance, saying they needed a cook, and so the team didn't lose their time preparing the meal. Now Sudou wouldn't be saying wonders of the dinner—which corresponded to a group led by Matsumoto, who made a good work—, but snarling against the stupid idea to take her with them, even when it seemed to him that Sudou suggested it to cut his time with Matsumoto in the camp, _which had been constant_ (not because of him).

He wondered if the girl was like Ikezawa (intelligent, of course, not like the idiot), putting her interest in someone outside her boundaries. Sadly, only Matsumoto had a suitor more than willing to get her attention.

Taking advantage of all concentrated in admiring the culinary skills of her fellow club, he went out of the dining room at the training center that the university had to use clubs. He wanted to get some of the strange fresh air of that late May night and the courtyard was perfect for it.

He let his mind wander to thoughts of what was happening at home; it would be more interesting than the tranquility of his current place. He admitted that if his girlfriend had been there, most entertaining events would have occurred; it'd have been funny to witness her mistakes. At home, his father could be reading… his mother watching a replay of her videos, Shigeo-san concentrating on a dish, Yuuki drawing, and Kotoko wanting to hit herself studying for her exams. She would suffer if she had the same evaluation he had, constant.

He gave a slight laugh, imagining her dismay.

"Something interesting?" He sighed when he heard Matsumoto, who sat with him on the bench where he was, watching the moon.

In those two days at the camp she had appeared when he was alone; he should have guessed that she would be there too. Naive of his part.

"Nothing," he said dryly, paying attention to the space between the two, wondering if, in her intelligence, she did not realize that he didn't encourage closeness between the two; for him, she was an acquaintance.

"There's something I want to tell you, Irie-san." He pressed his mouth into a line. "I… since…I saw you… last year…"

He seemed to listen to Sudou calling for her in the distance, but she did not realize, stammering annoyingly.

"You called my attention… and I wanted to study hard… to enter Todai… but you decided to go to a college… connected to my school… I wanted to tell you… I like you… and I want to know… if you could give me a chance…"

"Why?" he asked, folding his arms, facing her. He disliked that people didn't respect certain limits.

"Do I like you?" she asked.

He denied. "Why do you want a chance if you know I have a girlfriend?"

"What?" Matsumoto seemed truly puzzled, making him question if she had not listen to Kotoko's words when she said it aloud to the club. "Then, it is true what Aihara-san said?"

He nodded and sighed, feeling a little consideration to her, as she did not think his relationship with Kotoko was true.

"…I thought… I thought it was an invention of Aihara-san. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; I did not know."

"Why?" he asked, ignoring her apologies, frowning.

"What?"

"You thought it was an invention," he clarified, wrinkling his mouth.

"Eh…" he looked away from Matsumoto's red face, "…because you don't look like it, like boyfriend and girlfriend… I gotta go." She got up and moved away; he heard the cry of Sudou for finding her.

He frowned, repeating in his mind the words of Matsumoto; they didn't look like boyfriend and girlfriend. Did she not see him in her company? How many people though the same? Did they really expect he walked holding hands with her or doing unpleasant public displays of intimacy?

Would it give ideas to men?

He snorted in disgust. That was a problem because under no circumstances he would behave differently. However, she only paid attention to him, so he did not have to worry.

Another snort sounded beside him and at his left he found Sudou with arms crossed.

"She is very elusive," muttered the other, "but I won't give up," completed. Naoki rolled his eyes; he imagined Sudou would not, because he was the same kind of insistent person he perfectly knew.

Sudou continued to complain a few moments, until he ran out of them and started talking about the virtues of Matsumoto, which made him laugh, thinking the other was very deep with her. How foolish.

"Yesterday you asked someone for a summer job," said his coach after some in silence.

He nodded, he intended to use the money for his career and not ask his father for it, less with the house reforms.

"My family has a villa on the outskirts of the city, and this summer we are looking for someone to help us, because the usual employee had a broken leg climbing a mountain. We offer lodging and food, without deduction in the pay." Naoki looked at Sudou, which continued after a pause: "It's a job until the end of August; you will have to serve visitors to the area, help to maintain the place…"

 **[…]**

"See you, Kotorin!"

Naoki heard the front door close after the farewells of what looked like her club members. Halfway up the stairs, he saw Kotoko embrace to her breast what looked like magazines; her face was scarlet and she muttered to herself, he understood just how embarrassing it was something.

He smirked, watching the back of what he recognized as a manga. "What have you got there?" he asked, with apparent innocence.

Kotoko jumped and the mangas spread on the floor. "Naoki-kun!" she cried, putting her hand over her heart, before looking at her disaster with her eyes wide.

He finished the stairs as she knelt to pick up the mangas, desperately. It caught his attention the image of the front cover and he bent to take one when she did not see, holding the others.

When she was raising her face, he kept the manga in the back pocket of his pants, hiding it with his shirt.

She hugged the mangas as if trying to hide them. "Yo… you were saying?" she asked him, failing to feign discretion.

He smirked. "What is that?" He pointed with his finger.

"Eh… this… Ah! They… are… women's magazines! Yes, that. They say things about women and girls' things that you don't like," she lied red-faced, going up the stairs.

He turned, shrugging his shoulders, wondering what had made her club that she did not want to show to others, by the number of volumes that she clearly wanted to conceal in her room.

He followed her, amused when she tried to walk without stumbling, looking over her shoulder. "Where are you going? I'll go down in short."

"My room, where else?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Heh, heh, yes, how stupid," Kotoko said, scratching her head, and losing a step.

He reached out to hold her elbow and she nodded, opening her eyes when she saw the mangas were exposed. He feigned ignorance when she released herself, walking faster, with him behind.

He reached his own room and put the manga in his drawer, to go out again and go directly to the dining room downstairs. Moments later, Kotoko made her appearance, one hand on her chest and looking accelerated.

"Kotoko-chan, who was at the door?" asked his mother going out of the kitchen to put the dinner dishes on the table. His father closed his business magazine and nodded.

"Eh… my fellow club members, who passed through here… and wanted to say hello."

"Educated men, are those who act like your fans?"

"Yes, oba-sama, how…" His mother disappeared back into the kitchen, followed by Kotoko. "I'll help, oba-sama!"

Naoki frowned, looking at the place where the two disappeared. Yuuki, also sat, laughed, shaking his head.

"Mom went to college," he whispered, making him snort because he had suspect it. "She wanted pictures of the baka on campus."

He rolled his eyes and nodded, picturing that. Too ridiculous and intrusive.

His mother and Kotoko came back with the dishes and they were soon enjoying dinner.

"How is the rice, Yuuki?" asked his mother at the middle of eating, carefully watching his brother.

Naoki looked at his own rice and blinked, thinking that it tasted a little different. _No_. Kotoko had managed to do it without flaws? It had to be a joke, it was edible and, above all, good.

"Good," Yuuki said, with his attention on his food.

"Do you want more?" Offered his mother; his otōto shrugged and extended his plate.

He looked at Kotoko, who smiled like the Cheshire Cat.

He swallowed incredulously.

"You know, Yuuki?" Whispered his girlfriend then.

"What?"

"Guess who prepared the rice…" Kotoko started raising her eyebrows up and down. His father coughed and his mother applauded noiselessly, with a proud expression on her face.

Naoki hid a smile behind his glass, as his brother raised his eyes and opened his eyes wide when he noticed the face of his girlfriend.

"Take that!" Kotoko exclaimed pointing her finger at Yuuki, who had his small open eyes to the utmost. "You said you my food was good! I won! Now you pay!"

Yuuki began to mutter under his breath about dumb luck on New Year and the injustice of the silly winning.

He remembered the unfinished bet those two made on New Year, when they played cards, and they even their scores without possibilities to untie. They had bet that Yuuki would call Kotoko "onee-san" and not "baka"; his brother said he would when Kotoko made a good dish.

"I'm waiting," she pronounced with a mischievous smile.

"Kotokonee-san, I liked your dish," muttered his brother, crossing his arms.

"Yes, otōto!" Cried his girlfriend, going back to eat her food with an expression of happiness.

He looked the wrinkled nose of Yuuki, who smiled slightly eating more rice, without anyone seeing else it. Naoki wondered if he did it on purpose, knowing that, when Kotoko really tried something, she made it.

When they were almost finished, Naoki speak: "I'll have a job this summer."

The four looked at him in amazement.

"Of what, onii-chan?" his mother asked.

"Do you need something, Nao?" asked his father.

He denied relaxing him.

"In a villa, I'll spend my summer in a productive activity," he explain in the best way.

His father nodded. "You could do some work on Pandai," he offered after a few moments.

"No thanks, I need perspective and my father's work won't do."

"It's okay."

"Where is it?" his mother demanded. "For emergencies," she added, seeing him frowning. He suspected that her intentions were not legitimate; he almost imagined her appearing there.

"Outside."

His mother put a pout. "I will not go, I promise." She did the same voice she used when exposing a sincere fact. "It worries me."

He wondered if he was very hard judging her while watching her. He imagined that she would do best to find out and go there with the family.

He sighed and told her.

 **[...]**

Naoki put down the sack of earth he was carrying to the greenhouse, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and passed it through his forehead to dry his sweat. Every time the thermal sensation in Japan during the summer got worse, and this time, the physical activity, it was terrible.

He already had three weeks there and with the passage of time, the heat of the season made its presence, to the point he thanked the night showers, after arduous physical labor. However, he abhorred the morning sweat.

At that moment, Hayato, the German Shepherd of his boss, barked, indicating that someone came to Villa Romance. He turned to go to the entrance, stopping short while the gasp of Kotoko announced the identity of the visitor.

He turned to the main house of the village and found his brother laughing at Kotoko as she hid behind him while Hayato, of brave name, stood still.

He looked around for his family, but there were just them, apparently. Sure, that way his mother fulfilled her promise of not showing up. Nevertheless, sending the two children was low blow.

"What are you doing here?" He asked approaching them, stroking Hayato's head when he was at its side.

"What's its name?" Asked his brother—he said it—and approached the animal.

"Today we will make you company, we wanted to see," confessed Kotoko, glancing at the dog. "And the work at home was beginning; oba-sama told us to come. We'll leave early tomorrow."

He sighed and nodded.

"Welco…" Sudou cut. "Aihara!" He approached them, accompanied by Tsunayoshi, his dog of an indeterminate breed with black and white spots. "It's great! This way Matsumoto will pay attention to me!"

Naoki raised an eyebrow at the tennis coach.

"Matsumoto-san is coming?" Kotoko asked, frowning.

"Yes, I invited her today; she lives in a nearby residence."

"And how did you convinced her, Sudou-san?"

To this Sudou blushed. "Will ya help me to keep her away of Irie?"

Kotoko nodded.

"You have not told me how…" Hayato barked again and, at the sound of a car engine, everyone turned to meet a convertible red Toyota, with two black-haired and a dog on board, arriving at the resort.

"She's here!" Sudou cried, rushing to open the driver's door to Matsumoto. "Welcome, Yuuko-san! You brought a pet! And who is this pretty lady?"

Naoki saw Matsumoto get out of the convertible moving her wavy hair with exaggeration.

"She really shows off," Kotoko muttered to his side, pulling off her hat.

Yuuki, leaving Hayato, laughed.

"Irie-san!" Greeted Matsumoto from afar with a smile that faded as she looked at his girlfriend. "Sudou, aren't they done?" She protested with too much volume.

"Maybe I did not understand well… but they have just arrived…," said the tennis player and Kotoko snorted.

"Hello." The other girl got out of the car and walked up to them. She smiled at him. "Irie-san?" He nodded, frowning. " _Now I see why, Yuuko_. Matsumoto Ayako, her younger sister," she introduced herself, tucking her short hair in a similar way of the eldest.

"Aihara Kotoko," spoke his girlfriend, stepping forward. " _His girlfriend_."

"Interesting," slowly mouthed the black-haired in front of them.

"And he's Naoki-kun's brother, Yuuki." Gestured Kotoko, placing him ahead, too, as if he were a shield.

"Do you have bags?" Naoki asked politely.

Ayako refused. "We are taking Claris for a stroll," she explained, pointing to the elegant dog getting out of the car from command of his sister, barking at Sudou.

"What breed is it?" Yuuki asked, admiring the gray fur dog.

"An Afghan Hound, purebred."

"Great!"

"Where can we leave our bags?" Kotoko then interjected, raising her shoulders to signal it.

"Follow me," he indicated, turning; he would go to continue his work later.

Yuuki and Kotoko walked beside him. "I want to be inside," said Ayako, joining them.

Behind them, Sudou complaints to Yuuko's dog were heard.

 **[…]**

At noon, with the sun at the top, Naoki sighed, settling the logs he was taking to the house. A couple wanted them, at night, for a romantic campfire to the "light" of the moon. It seemed unconscious to want to do such an act, when at night the temperature didn't drop enough and even had hot air.

Romantic couples and their occurrences.

He heard a small snort, which led him to frown wondering what it was. He looked around and, a few steps to his right, he saw a familiar figure leaning on a tree. He approached her silently, with the intent to startle her.

"Naoki-kun," she sighed. He paused, thinking that she had seen him, but she shook her head and he noticed her eyes were closed. She was asleep.

That dumb, just she slept in the forest, with the sun up and the animals wandering, instead of inside the villa.

He cut the distance to her and saw beside her was a net to catch butterflies; he imagined she was doing the favorite activity of the few children who visited the place, and got tired, without catching any. Or, he thought, not doing it with the fear of hurting them.

Naoki knelt to wake her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Kotoko," he called softly, without her batting an eye.

Her lips parted and pronounced his name.

Unwittingly he smiled; even in her dreams, she had him in mind. He was pleased to see that he was not the only one, though she gave no indication of being in the same kind of dreams he had had.

Kotoko sighed and he put his hand in her cheek, watching her carefully. She looked so calm sleeping, so peaceful, without having something that could disturb her. No one would believe that, awake, she was like a whirlwind and always her eyes shone energetically; nor would someone know the determination and persistence that she put to things, to the extent of doing what seemed impossible, or engage in a task so hard and long, as the album, rice, or other things he had seen at that time.

He tilted his face to Kotoko and pressed his lips on hers. He had a singular girlfriend.

"Kotoko," he called again, moving her more strongly.

She stirred and blinked repeatedly, disoriented.

"Naoki-kun?"

"Lunch is close," he announced, standing up.

"Hey?" She got up, anyway, holding him when she stumbled.

He started walking and she followed him after a few moments, until they reach the house, where Sudou was with others in the front yard.

"I was looking for you!" He exclaimed moving his hands. "Put that next to the entrance, Irie."

He shrugged and did as he said, turning to the others; Kotoko rubbed her eyes, blinking to Sudou, who encouraged her to come.

"After lunch, we will make an activity to liven up better," Sudou said. "It will be a couple orientation. In order to ensure safety in the forest, each pair will take a dog with them." Kotoko panted, looking at Hayato, lying on the grass. He rolled his eyes. "You will find ten stamps on the forest path, which you should mark in your notebooks. Each couple will take a different route."

Naoki sighed; this was not part of his job, just an attempt to Sudou wandering alone in the woods with Matsumoto.

"Now, the couples will choose through a draw," continued Sudou, taking out a paper; Naoki saw it with narrowed eyes, the names of Ayako, Yuuko and Kotoko were at the top of the blade. "Let's see! Ai…"

"Rock-paper-scissors will be better," he cut him to have a chance with his brother.

Sudou narrowed his eyes and sighed, looking with disappointment at Kotoko, who blinked; it was obvious that his girlfriend was asleep, because she made no gesture.

They then proceeded to play RPS, which was favorable to his coach, because he ended with Yuuko; his partner was the younger Matsumoto, leaving his brother and Kotoko together. He would have preferred to be with Yuuki, but luck was that way.

It was when Sudou gave indication to lunch, after distributing pets, that Kotoko was properly awake and started complaining about Yuuki as her partner.

"Not Hayato!" she cried then holding her hand near Sudou's face, who gulped and nodded, changing it for the tiny dog, an arrangement that seemed better to his girlfriend. The only one that worked.

 **[…]**

"We've been very quiet all the way, Irie-san," pronounced Ayako when they were about to conclude their search for stamps in the forest. "And the idea is to liven up."

Naoki gave her a brief glance, without answering, thinking that by then Yuuki and Kotoko had already returned, having entered the forest before. They were practically two children in the forest and could be lost, particularly in the company of Sudou's ignorant dog.

He found the last stamp, number seven, which Ayako pressed in her notebook, turning.

"Irie-san, how serious is your relationship with Aihara-san?" She wanted to find out, approaching him.

He frowned in the direction of the young black-haired, who shrugged.

"I understand. There is no hope… _for now_." He frowned more, thinking he'd hate to have another Matsumoto behind him. "If you get tired of Aihara-san, next year I'll enter Tonan to study Law."

She just said nonsense. "I'm not interested."

The girl sighed. "All right, I tried. At least, Yuuko won't get you. _I will tell her_."

He, without giving a reply, shortened the road to reach the villa quickly. There Sudou looked in the middle of an argument, as he pointed to Claris.

He was concerned to see that there was no sign of Yuuki and Kotoko, so he hurried to the mustache guy.

"Kotoko and my brother have returned?" Sudou shook his head, frowning too, looking at his watch.

"It'll be dark in less than an hour."

Naoki swore to himself.

"Hayato, come with me," he ordered, turning around. They had a lot of time ahead.

He walked down the path they took, bothering at the middle of it for not taking some of the things Yuuki or Kotoko so the dog could smell them; but if he returned, he would lose time.

"Yuuki! Kotoko!" he shouted, hoping to hear an answer.

At least Yuuki, more aware, was less likely to be lost; however, he remembered he was nine, while his partner had an awful sense of direction.

He closed a hand in a fist when the color of the sky grew purple, fading slowly orange, as a clear sign of sundown. His gaze was met with a warning sign of bears; on the floor he saw the white hat of Kotoko.

"Hell," he muttered, picking it up and squeezing, wondering if they would have met one of the animals.

Stupid Sudou and his big plans, he thought with gritted teeth. And silly of him for not changing partners, trusting that nothing would happen. Also he cursed the lack of coverage in the telephone.

He shook his head, to remain in the calm that characterized him. He just hoped that those two were okay.

"Yuuki! Kotoko!"

Hayato barked and Tsunayoshi went out of some bushes, running in terror towards the villa. His heart throbbed when he listen to cries of Yuuki and Kotoko, which made him order the dog accompanying him. It ran through the bushes, while he followed him with a still accelerated heartbeat.

He saw Hayato pushing a smaller dog, of wild appearance, that ran away, finishing his threatening to his girlfriend and brother, kneeling in the grass hugging each other, with a wooden stick split in two before them.

He breathed out in relief, seeing them. He slowed his pace, rubbing his face with his free hand.

"We're saved!" Kotoko cried while Yuuki hugged Hayato.

"Are you fine?" he asked, causing both to stand quickly, pouncing on him and surrounding him with their arms.

"Onii-chan."

"Naoki-kun."

He sighed and turned away before ruffling Yuuki's hair.

"It'll darken soon," he murmured, looking at the state of both; none seemed to have wounds and they had not answered his question negatively. They were just shaking, probably from fear. At least, the next day they would go, without further mishaps.

He looked at Kotoko and put the hat on her head.

He called the dog. "Let's go," he said, recovering the normal rhythm of his heartbeat when things returned to normal.

He would not have forgiven himself if something had happened to them.

* * *

 **NA:** Happy New Year!

 _Is the first time I have a deadline and fail to meet it. I said I was going to finish this before the year ended, and here we are. Now I won't say a date, but I'll finish this as soon as I can, so after it I can re-read. I've finished all my INK fics, so don't be afraid :D._

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _Hugs, Karo._


	24. The river has its own course

**Chapter 24**

 **The river has its own course**

* * *

"I've prepared myself all this holiday season to beat you this trimester, Irie."

Naoki rolled his eyes listening to the words of Funatsu Seiichi, who really was a bother, but not worth it. According to his words, his goal there was to _overthrow_ him of the first position, something he had been aiming to since long ago, when he obtained the second place in the examinations, _below him_.

He didn't care the reasons of his interest in him, it just bothering him being followed in the cafeteria and being asked questions that, in his opinion, were too easy, but according to the other were advanced topics (as he studied them to win). If his partner put the same effort into being a good professional, he could make the difference… it was a pity that his main goal was to compete.

It was a waste of Funatsu's time, he recognized his efforts, but he had read in a week all the texts that the other studied the whole summer; not just that, Naoki read them long before going on holiday, because he spent his last days of vacation reviewing the topics of the last part of the school year.

It wasn't his problem that he had a different capacity, nor that he had a real interest in the career and that he liked it, even more, every time he read something new of the field.

"In the stomach the complete digestion takes place; the stomach empties into the duodenum with movements ranging from the fundus to the pyloric antrum, they are involuntary and are called peristalsis…,"*

"Naoki-kun." He nodded to Kotoko when she joined him at the front of the cafeteria, interrupting his running classmate.

He noticed the questioning look of Funatsu to his girlfriend. "I remember you, you're the girl who was with Irie the day for Todai test," he said, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Are you Irie's sister?" he asked, leaning close to the face of Kotoko, who looked wide-eyed.

Naoki blinked disbelievingly, and a laugh interrupted them. Why did they assume that?

"Yes! She is the sister of the demon," pointed Ikezawa, laughing and holding his hands to his stomach.

He wondered if Funatsu was serious, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him away from his girlfriend.

"Don't come near, Funatsu."

Kotoko blinked, scowling at Ikezawa before doing so with his classmate. "I'm not his sister, I'm Naoki-kun's girlfriend," she protested under her breath.

Funatsu's eyes jumped. "What?!"

"What is the surprise?" Kotoko asked, clenching her hand.

"He… and you… how?! Does he have time to have a girlfriend while studying?!" Funatsu asked, with trembling hands, pointing to him.

She nodded, smiling. "Naoki-kun is a genius."

"A demon," snapped Ikezawa. He scowled at him like Kotoko, for intruding.

"He never studies, he simply read things once," she raised her forefinger, "and understands very quickly."

"Ne… never… studies…" Funatsu stammered.

"He never studies?" Ikezawa repeated, too. "And he's going to be a doctor?"

Kotoko nodded proudly.

"I want a lunch number five," he ordered him to cook, who had his mouth open in his direction.

"You're lying," said Funatsu, approaching his face _too much_ to Kotoko, who shook frowning. "It is impossible not to study and learn so much."

"He is a genius."

"Are you going to attend me?" He muttered to Ikezawa, pulling his girlfriend's arm to put her away from the medical student, who had not understood before. And because she didn't put the distance between them.

"It cannot be!" With that, Funatsu turned to leave, one hand on his head and the other clutching the book of anatomy.

"Who is he?" Asked Kotoko with a finger over her lips. "His face is familiar."

He rolled his eyes, the other had just said where did they meet, but she was so clueless. Although internally he was satisfied Funatsu wasn't relevant.

"Nobody," he said, turning his face to Ikezawa. "My food?"

"I want a lunch B, Kin-chan!" Kotoko ordered.

The other did nothing but nod and prepare their orders, handing to them, for once, in silence.

In his way to a table, he thought about what Funatsu had said. Did he look like Kotoko's brother? It was ridiculous; nothing in his facial features make them similar… and she often proclaimed they were dating.

Matsumoto said that they didn't seem like a couple, prompting him to wonder about the topic.

"Has anyone in the university made you a declaration?" he asked, suddenly, to Kotoko, who stayed with a croquette in the air.

"Hey? Some boy?" He nodded. He saw her blush and frowned. "Well, the way you say it, yes… but it's not important, because they were the club members…"

He let out a small sigh.

"Though… Just today…" He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Kotorin! Be my girl!"

The two had a start with the voice of a boy of fat body, sitting beside her with a copy of the same manga that he had saved.

He glared at the guy, who ignored him completely eyeing his girlfriend, who had a red face and eyes open wide.

The boy placed the manga on the table, along with a pen and took the hand of his girlfriend; he cut the gesture disgusted while she exclaimed she would not be his girl.

"Then a signature for my manga, Kotorin," pleaded the guy clasping her hands.

The color in her face increased (if it was possible). Naoki wondered how many had seen the manga, which had her as a tennis player, wearing very little clothing and showing a lot of breast; it was supposedly a heroine, _in a curious way_. It was almost obscene. At what point did he think they would make a harmless manga?

Worse than that, how many people were in the manga and anime club that had a copy?

The idea of many fantasizing with the body of his girlfriend—though she wasn't like that—was not _pleasant_. While fantasies were harmless, because at the end of the day she was still his, it was uncomfortable to think that many men did same as this guy, whom she dismissed with a grunt.

It wasn't nice the idea of men behind her.

"Why?! It is the third time this day," she complained with arms crossed.

"How many members are there in the club?" he asked.

"Five."

"He is one?" She shook her head. "Do you know him?"

At that moment, three boys he recalled from her club occupied the other chairs at the table; they had big smiles.

"Boys!"

"Kotorin, we won the contest!

She gasped. "What?!"

"We show our first volume of "A Racquet Warrior" in a contest during the summer, and got the spot number one!" Explained the one with lenses.

"We'll be able to work with the following volumes, Kotorin," said another of the club happily.

"And there are already many followers in the country, can you believe it?" added the one that had not spoken.

Naoki felt his eyelids tremble and felt disbelief rather than outrage, having belittled those guys, even though, from his perspective, their work wasn't relevant. He thought it wouldn't leave the school, and Japan already knew their manga.

He sipped water, suddenly thirsty.

"You'll be famous, Kotorin! All women will want to be like you! And all men will want to be by your side!"

Naoki snorted in disgust.

"And they recognize us!" said the lenses guy.

"All thanks to you, Kotorin. You're the best!"

A Kotoko dropped her chopsticks.

"Country? Famous? Volumes?" She spoke while gaping like a fish.

"It's the fantastic twenty-first century!"

"We want you to attend a meeting with the followers of the campus."

"We have the cosplay."

" _All_ ," Kotoko muttered, passing our; he barely held her.

"Kotorin!"

 **[…]**

By the second week of school after the holiday period, Naoki had seen in different places enough banners and ads related to manga _inspired_ by Kotoko. They were that many because, while he was with her, there were people always following her, having spread word about the girl that inspired the mange. He would have never thought that otaku fever existed in his college, with a greater number of _male_ followers.

Kotoko tried, futilely, to go unnoticed, but it gave no fruit.

Her club members, supposedly, had reassured her that after the first few days it would subside, after the success of their small convention, which she attended "disguised" but was discovered and forced to speak.

From his point of view, the only good thing about it was that after a guy came up to ask her out, she said she already had a boyfriend—pointing to him—and word had spread, _so there were no more doubts about the relationship_. Yet that aroused envy and a better understanding of his identity, and several details of the shared life of both.

It was like going back to damn high school, full of rumors and comments about them.

He couldn't complain a lot, he gave his approval and that convinced Kotoko to join the club.

And, to his pleasure, when Ikezawa placed in the cafeteria a poster of Kotorin—that caused enormous complaints from his girlfriend—, he gloated in front of him with having the real at home, making the cook shut for a while.

"I don't want anymore, Naoki-kun!" Kotoko _stamped_ at the cafeteria table, hiding her head under her hands after someone came to beg her for an autograph.

He felt sorry for her; she was not used to being the cynosure.

Still, he let out a laugh, for her attitude.

She whimpered. "Don't be mean," she whined. He smirked watching her, waiting for her tantrum to finish so he could tell her that people eventually get exhausted. Just as he had given up with people fantasizing with her.

"Kotorin!" Two female voices shouted in chorus.

He looked up to see her two smiling friends, Jinko and Satomi, sitting on the other side of the table.

"Don't!" Wailed his girlfriend.

The girls burst out laughing, which led Kotoko to raise her head and give them a piercing gaze.

"You are cruel!" she said, crossing her arms.

"Hi, Irie-san," greeted the highest, with a glass with a straw in hand.

He nodded, continuing his meal.

"How is the fame for you, Kotoko?" Asked the dark-haired.

"Awful."

"In the website, the number of followers has increased. At least, people from the university have saved your location, Kotoko, or you'd have more people behind you."

"What kind of friends are you?" Spluttered his girlfriend, showing her tongue.

"Those ones who'll act as your PR from now on," declared Satomi smiling. "Ryo has given me some advice now that we prepare me to meet his family."

"And I'm learning to be Jyunpei's manager in the future," said Jinko.

"So, we'll control your followers," Satomi finished still smiling. "It was my idea," she added in a whisper.

"Girls! Thank you!" Kotoko shouted, going to embrace them.

He got up, leaving them alone.

Whether the friends were good at it or the emotion eventually dwindled, by the next week Kotoko's chase was over… without them convincing her to participate to be " _Miss Tonan_ ".

 **[…]**

"Naoki-kun."

Hearing Kotoko, Naoki looked over the book of Physiology, to find her watching him with blinking eyes and an enthusiastic smile. It was her birthday, and his mother had made a big fuss in the morning, celebrating her nineteenth anniversary. No one would say that the most important birthday for the Japanese was the twentieth because his mother wanted to make big celebrations for all.

He sighed, raising an eyebrow.

"Would you like to accompany me to the amusement park?" she asked, tapping the tips of her forefingers.

He raised the other eyebrow for her to explain.

"The club guys gave me a double pass to the park; they won it at the contest and its validity ends on the last day of September, and as I have no plans for today and it's Saturday…"

He stared at her for a few seconds, wondering why he had to be dragged to many things because of her, but she could not help it. At least the club had been thoughtful with her after the chaos of that month with their risqué manga. It would help her to relax.

"Will you go with me?"

 _That did not mean he had to go._

Naoki thought for a moment, imagining that if she left looking sad, his mother would come to the room to threaten him.

He closed his book, as he would no longer read.

"All right," he accepted placing the book from the library on the top shelf on the desk.

"For real?" He nodded, breathing in. He supposed she deserved after a busy month. "Yes!"

She left the room, moving her hands.

"Oba-sama! He said yes!"

He made a gesture of denial with his head and went to his closet for a thin coat, expecting a drop of temperature for the night. He took his keys, phone and wallet before leaving his bedroom.

He heard a bang from Kotoko's and rolled his eyes with her cry of "I'm fine", heading for the stairs.

"Don't you dare, okaa-san," he threatened his mother, at the foot of the stairs, taking her by surprise as she smiled when she was planning something. "Maybe something will come up."

His mother stuck her tongue shaking her head; then she showed her hidden small camera on her back.

She took a photograph.

He folded his arms grimacing.

"Just so you know, I invited Konomi-chan to come home," she told him with an expression of triumph.

"What?!" Both looked at Yuuki, from the hallway to the kitchen, with candy in hand. "Mooom!"

She laughed, shaking his hand in a dismissive gesture, as his brother walked toward her.

"I found Konomi-chan and her parents the other day, they have an engagement this afternoon, and I was sad a nine-year-old girl had to stay home alone on a Saturday," explained their mother, covering Yuuki's mouth with her hand when he wanted to retort. "Besides, I knew Kotoko-chan and onii-chan would go out, so I'd have the opportunity to care of the children."

Then her face wasn't for he and Kotoko, he thought with relief, feeling slightly sorry for his brother, but he could not help of rejoicing for being free of his mother.

Yuuki shook in the arms of his mother, stopping and opening his eyes to the stairs.

He turned, curious to what caught his attention.

He blinked surprised at Kotoko, coming down, flushed. She was quick. "Kotoko-chan, the clothes were perfect for you!

Naoki heard the sound of multiple camera's shoots while watching the stretch dark denim jeans of his girlfriend, together with a sleeveless red blouse; all the clothes hug her body changed by the exercise. The point worthy of mention was that her eyes had some makeup, emphasizing her expressive orbs, and her lips had more color than other times when she only used glow.

"You look great, Kotoko-chan! Right, onii…"

The doorbell cut his mother's words, which he thanked. He nodded to Kotoko, turning his face to the front door.

His brother came reluctantly at his mother's call; she said goodbye to someone shaking her hand before stepping aside and expose the newcomer.

"What a pleasure it is to have you here, Konomi-chan, come in," invited his mother to the little girl, a few centimeters taller than his brother. He saw her a few moments, her hair, contrasting with her white skin, was almost black and reached her shoulders; two pins with figures of Kitty held a few strands. Her eyes were dark and attracted attention more than her ruddy cheekbones and a shy smile. She was using a yellow dress.

"Hello," whispered the girl, finally entering the house. "My name is Sagawa Konomi."

Kotoko passed him with a large smile and stood in front of the bowing Konomi. Her effusiveness startled the poor girl, as it was a contrast to her shyness. "I'm Kotoko," she said in a singsong voice. "I like your hairpins."

The girl nodded gently, putting a hand to the pin. "Thanks," mouthed quietly, smiling slightly.

His girlfriend sat up and pointed at him. "He's Naoki-kun, Yuuki-kun's onii-chan."

He gave a nod to the girl, who shook her hand in greeting.

"And my boyfriend, he'll go out with me today, it's my birthday," Kotoko added with a big smile.

The girl's eyes lit up as he looked at his girlfriend, nodding with interest. At least she didn't seem like the other girl Kotoko took home, especially when Konomi slightly moved her gaze to Yuuki, blushing while he looked at her expressionlessly, though his eyes followed her when she returned her sight to Kotoko.

He smirked, amused by knowing what his mother and Kotoko ignored.

"Happy birthday, Kotoko-san. Yuuki-kun okaa-san said it." Konomi took her school bag on her back, which she opened, and introduced one of her little hands on it. "I brought this."

The girl pulled out a two inches-brown-knitted bear that smiled. It was a keychain.

Kotoko squealed. "Thanks, Konomi-chan!" she cried, hugging the girl with joy before receiving the gift. "It's very cute, did you do it?"

Konomi nodded.

"It's great! I'll take with me," said his girlfriend, opening the bag he had not seen, securing it to her key ring hanging with other figures.

The girl smiled more broadly and again reach into the bag; this time, she pulled out a knitted flower, almost the size of a ruler and gave it to his mother. "As gratitude for letting me stay today… My mom helped me, Irie-sama."

"Oh, Konomi-chan! You're very sweet, you didn't have to bother, I'm delighted you're here," said his mother joyfully, hugging the girl.

He looked at his brother, feeling sorry for him; at least until the end of his elementary school he would have his mother pestering for the girl, who had already won her affection.

That would give _him_ freedom.

Great.

In addition, there were two children; she had a long way ahead.

"Now, kids, go to the living room, I have prepared games for bothm," his mother announced, placing her hands on their shoulders. "Kotoko-chan, onii-chan, have fun!" She saw off less effusive than usual, to his delight. "Don't forget to take pictures, Kotoko-chan."

She nodded and snapped her fingers, and then she went up the stairs to return with a thin coat.

 **[…]**

Kotoko received her pink cotton candy with a smile that, after a water attraction and a roller coaster, would only serve to increase her glucose levels, increasing her excitement.

Naoki denied when she offered him her candy, smiling mischievously, surely knowing his tastes. Giving a sideways glance, he thought her makeup should be waterproof because she had not ruined it, though she didn't have a lot.

He had to admit to himself that she looked good on that occasion; the clothes suited her, she like a young woman and not a girl. It was a nice change from other times together, especially because, regardless of her new good appearance, she had many puerile attitudes that made her being her.

At the time, she could play with her cotton as a child, though she look like a woman.

He didn't matter. Since long ago he had assumed that her personality was thus, but he also noticed that, in some situations, she could behave in a more serene and mature way, highlighting her different but genuine and innocent way of seeing things.

"Can we go to the Ferris wheel?" Kotoko signaled the big wheel amusement park, illuminated in different colors and giving a panoramic view of the place, as an alternative to monorail running through the park, which had a view of the mountains alongside the land.

He shrugged, directing his steps toward the wheel and wearing his coat. Anyway, she was interested and that day she had the opportunity to decide.

They arrived at the wheel and had to wait a few minutes at the end of a line.

"This is so romantic," whispered Kotoko in a dreamy voice when they were in the cab and the wheel began to rise slowly.

He rolled his eyes, looking at the lights' attractions, pine trees and mountains in the distance.

He felt Kotoko leaning on his shoulder, sighing quietly.

"Don't fall sleep," he asked quietly.

"I won't."

Suddenly, she placed a hand on his chest, over his heart, and he turned to look at her; she had a smiling expression on her face and her eyes seemed to ask him to kiss her. He let out a breath as she slowly raised her hand to his neck, ascending a finger to his ear and then directing it to his cheek.

He wondered if she knew the tingle that caused her touch with her breathing approaching his face until he was an inch away.

She ran her tongue over her lower lip, her eyes narrowed, and he was the one who cut the space between the two. He lowered his eyelids, catching her lip between his and nipping it before moving his mouth over hers, pulling her with his hand on her head and disheveling her loose hairs. He leaned his head to deepen the kiss, consuming the air that flowed from her with his own mouth, holding her breath as he felt his tongue touched hers; a chill ran on him from the sweet touch that he proved in that new way to connect with her.

Kotoko gasped and he felt her closer, her hands moving tentatively on his back, increasing the previously unknown sensations in his body, concentrated on his stomach.

Reluctantly he pulled away from her mouth to regain normal rhythm of his breathing and heartbeat, opening his eyes a little, meeting her pink lips, on which he pressed a kiss, falling in the temptation to put his mouth on the line her jaw, shortening the way to her exposed neck, where he remained a few moments breathing her scent.

One of Kotoko's hands positioned over his heart and he closed his eyes, trying to calm his hasty heart rate; he knew she would notice, but it didn't bother him because he felt in her throbbing throat the reaction she caused her, which made him let out a slight laugh, in that position, making her tremble.

He didn't know what had led him to kiss her, nor did he care, he liked it, and it was a relief to know that just Kotoko had witnessed his actions, to the point of forgetting that he was in a public place for a short time. He opened his eyes and shook his head in denial, realizing that the wheel had stopped for a moment, he didn't know why.

"Naoki-kun, look!" They weren't on the top, but he still part from Kotoko to follow the direction she pointed behind him.

Beyond the park's lights, above the almost invisible mountains, ran a bright meteor.

"A shooting star!" Kotoko said, smiling, before closing her eyes for a moment.

He shook his head, watching the luminous phenomenon in the atmosphere. Silly things, he thought, imagining her asking for a wish. What could she want?

Seconds later, on the hand resting on his right leg, she clasped his, closing the space between them with a handkerchief in her other hand. She rubbed it in his mouth.

"Lipstick," she whispered.

He nodded his thanks and Ferris wheel began to move again. For some reason, he let her have his hand.

Kotoko released him when they came down and continued in the amusement park with the same attitude as before, walking side by side, he listening to her babbling, barely touching.

But, for him, something had happened up there.

He shrugged and sighed when she fail again to catch a goldfish in the bowl, approaching with an outstretched arm asking for the net, trapping the animal in the first attempt.

"No, let it go," whispered Kotoko when he was going to put it in a plastic bag.

He frowned at her.

"He's better with his friends," she assured, making him laugh in disbelief.

Kotoko hugged him after letting go of the little fish. He pulled away wrinkling his nose, causing her to laugh.

"Let's go to another attraction," she begged, going away with open arms.

He put his hands into his pockets and followed her, observing ironically the childish gestures that characterized her. However, it was fine, it did not hurt anyone and she deserved that joy after a hectic month.

He curled a smile sideways seeing her greeting a child, before going by his side; she was clearly happy.

 _He could understand her_.

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly.

* * *

 _*I don't know if it's okay, the original text came from a medical book in Spanish._

* * *

 **NA:** The intention of this chapter was time he,he.


	25. Those little details

**Chapter 25**

 **Those little details**

* * *

Naoki heard the lesson of Biochemistry while the sensei put notes on the blackboard at the front, explaining part of what they would find in the laboratory practice of the next class; his classmates wrote down in their notebooks—the one at his side with more heart and soul after asking a question.

He had to admit that Funatsu was a good student, mainly so studious, but he rolled his eyes at the thought that all his efforts were to overthrow him, although he had some interest in the field. He wondered if someday he would realize that being number one or two, or other, did not really matter, as long as he acted the right way.

Or maybe Naoki didn't understand and that was Funatsu's way to motivate himself.

The sensei ended the class and all were prepared to leave. He went to the library, where he stayed to read.

Moments later, ready to begin, the vibration of his phone in his pants broke his concentration. He was going to ignore it, but he didn't do it knowing that the people with his number didn't call unless it was important.

He took out his phone from his pocket and saw Kotoko's name on the screen, which made him frown because she had not attended classes that day to solve matters for her first formal practice.

He went to the entrance of the library, putting the phone to his ear once he accepted the call.

He heard sobs and moans from the other side.

"Naoki-kun…"

 **[…]**

After signing the consent for surgery, Naoki put his brother's surgery in the doctor's hands. The doctor had explained to him that it was an abdominal obstruction, after showing him the results of X-rays and the symptoms. The physician would confirm it with the surgery, however.

When the doctor had given him the prognosis, after some tests, he had breathed relieved after brooding on the problem with his current knowledge. Never would have he expected that the first real person to be part of a medical hypothesis—without intervening, just listening and thinking—, after beginning the career, would be his little brother. He had done it after Kotoko's words in the other side of the phone; she had had enough cool head when he asked her to calm and give a description of what was happening, which led him to tell her what to do.

Naoki went to the waiting room where he had left his phone to Kotoko to call his mother; she forgot hers at home, hurried to go in the ambulance.

He found her wandering around in a corner, holding his phone to her chest, with trembling hands and head down. There was just a man asleep in the waiting room.

"Kotoko," he said stopping in front of her to end her moves.

She looked up to meet his gaze.

"He'll have surgery, he'll be fine," he said calmly, trying to convince her. Maybe in a little deep part of his mind, he tried to reassure himself too, but he trusted the ability of the physician to confirm a diagnosis and make everything all right. "You have acted quickly and correctly," he added, internally proud.

Kotoko nodded, holding out his phone with a trembling hand. He picked it up and put it back in his pocket, putting his school bag in the floor.

"I'm so relieved," she whispered, hugging herself.

Then she let out a sob, and he saw her put a hand on her cheek, wiping away a tear. "I was… so scared… that…" Her body shuddered and he stepped toward her, placing a hand on the back of her head; Kotoko launched into his chest, crying. "Naoki-kun…"

With hesitation, he raised his left arm and placed it around her waist, sighing with bowed head, waving her red hair. He felt a kind of comfort after some time in restless, experiencing a momentary doubt and thinking in the confirmation of the doctor's prognosis. At least, Yuuki was in good hands.

He separated from her, bended to pick up the bag, and directed her to the seats to wait.

That was worse than the occasion with Kotoko, because at least with her he had the opportunity to see her before, while with Yuuki he was blind in a sudden case.

He closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing slowly, finally recovering from the surge of adrenaline after signing the consent. He had acted with cool head until he had passed the critical moment, when the situation his brother had taken a toll on him.

However, the occasion had made that (if it was possible) his interest in medicine increased. He felt more interest in its wonders and how the knowledge could benefit; how much they could achieve with others, even being aware of those they could not save. His fervor would be to work for those that had possibilities and those who hadn't, doing as far as he could, even if they died later. It would be difficult but he had a goal.

"It's a situation with his intestines, the doctor will take care of it," he said, turning his attention to Kotoko.

She nodded, finishing her sobs.

 **[…]**

Naoki entered Yuuki's hospital room; there, he saw Kotoko beside the bed, a storybook in her lap, while his brother shook his head repeatedly with a pout.

"Onii-chan!" Greeted his brother, who had less than one day in the hospital and already seemed annoyed to be there. " _She doesn't shut_."

"Don't talk like that of your onee-san, Yuuki-kun," argued her, resting in the hospital bed on her folded arms.

He sat on the chair on the other side, his mother had gone home because she didn't want to neglect the preparation of dinner, although Shigeo-san said he could do it, or they could even go to the restaurant if they wanted. His mother had refused, but he knew it was her way to remain busy, after seeing her youngest son in the hospital recovering… and refusing to close attention.

"Kotoko, stop," he murmured, accepting the book she had, from Yuuki.

"Why is he allowed to read to you?" she asked, straightening up.

"Because he doesn't stutter or misread," scoffed his brother, though Naoki thought she had done well in her previous job and that was just a normal act from Yuuki. "Adjust my pillow."

Kotoko nodded, grimaced and held out a hand, to do what the other told her; but apparently she was not satisfied, because she accompanied him on the bed, laying beside him.

"What are you doing?!" Yuuki exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"I'll be your pillow," she explained with a smile.

"Don't be silly, get out of my bed!"

"No."

"You want to be my pillow because you're fat!"

He suppressed a smile hearing Kotoko's gasp, but in the room echoed a child's laughter.

"You bother other patients," he chided weakly, watching the other child in the room, who had hair and eyes black and looked frail.

"Don't worry, I enjoy listening to them."

Kotoko got up from the bed and went to occupy the chair beside the dark-haired boy.

"Hey, they're Naoki-kun, Yuuki-kun, and I am Naoki-kun's girlfriend, Kotoko," she introduced with a smile. "What's your name?"

"Nobuhiro… Nobu," pronounced the boy. "Hi, Kotoko-san."

"We regret the noise, you must want to rest."

Nobu shook his head. "I like listening to you, there has never been funny people in the room." Naoki frowned, wondering how long had he been there. "And you're funny telling stories."

"Am I? Do you want me to read to you?" suggested his girlfriend, bowing to him.

The other shrugged. She rose to the bag on Yuuki's side table.

"How long have you been here, Nobu-chan?" Kotoko asked, after taking out a small book of tales.

"This time, a month," Nobu replied, shrugging.

"This time?" Kotoko went back to the seat.

"I have a disease in my kidney… I have to be here several times," explained the child. Naoki felt intrigued of the illness he that could have, curious about his case.

He saw Kotoko pressing her lips, nodding. "I understand, and how old are you?"

"Nine."

"The same as Yuuki, are you in fourth year?"

"Yes, but I think I'll have to repeat."

"And your parents?"

"They work to pay for the hospital."

In that moment, he analyzed the attentive eyes of his girlfriend, wondering if she asked from the professional side, that might influence her questionnaire, or it was pure self-interest.

By telling his parents were divorced, she began exploring his situation, making him realize that the university was making her mature in some ways. Or maybe he realized until then.

However, she did not change much, going to the point of offering tutorials to the child to keep up—with prior knowledge of her skills—, so he had to sigh, knowing it was not a good idea of her.

 **[…]**

Two children's laughter could be heard from the other side of the door and Naoki turned the knob to enter the his brother's hospital room, where he and his new great friend were having fun, probably, due to his girlfriend.

"Wait! I know those answers, I saw them in Yuuki's notebook," she spoke amid the laughter of Yuuki and the giggles from Nobu, more restrained.

"And which are they?" he asked from the doorway, making her gasp.

"Don't worry, Kotoko-san, we can leave that for the end," Nobu said with a kind smile.

Kotoko's shoulders slumped. He sighed; she simply could not improve in school activities that she should know at her age. He had to interfere with the child, or the "help" would affect him more that benefit him, though her intentions were laudable.

He went to his brother, who was doing his homework, and ruffled his hair as a greeting, before going to bed occupied by his roommate.

"Nobu…"

"Yeah! They are mammals, reptiles, birds, amphibians," said Kotoko, pointing with a big smile each tetrapod, which he saw impressed, as she was right.

He heard the sound of a pencil hitting the floor from Yuuki's bed.

"Yuuki kept repeating them a few weeks ago while doing his homework," she explained with a note of pride in her voice, perhaps for remembering.

Nobu looked at his notebook with a nod, writing.

"I don't know the others," said Kotoko, scratching her head. "Then she looked at him. "Naoki-kun is smart, he should know! He studies to be a doctor and cure many people."

Kotoko's unwavering confidence, he thought, taking the seat next to Nobu.

"Do you want me to help you?"

The boy watched him hesitantly, before nodding.

 **[…]**

Yuuki's week in the hospital went fast, and the day he was discharged, with the tightly closed wound, was emotional for him. Naoki noticed it because his brother had become good friends with Nobu in those seven days away from home.

He understood his appreciation for the child. In the evenings he taugh him, Naoki discovered he was a very nice child, whose circumstances were sad, as Kotoko pointed out while leaving the hospital. The farewell of the two infants had a lot of crying, and Yuuki's cries didn't finished with great welcome food at home.

"Cases like Nobu-chan and other children are very sad," opined aloud Kotoko, on Saturday before practicing tennis (which he didn't know why did not suspend), two weeks after his brother stay at the hospital. "In the place of my practice, I see many children suffering…" She sighed. "Yesterday Suzuki-sensei attended the case of an eight-year-old girl, whose mother died years ago, and now her father is dying… her only family lives in America… but she has a heart disease and they cannot take care of her."

She rested her head on the mesh network, with eyes closed. Perhaps that course was too much for her if seeing others suffer took the light off her in that way. It was what she would do in her life, like him, but her heart had room for many people and her empathized with others was intense.

"Kotoko…" he whispered, not knowing how to voice his thoughts.

"But I know there will be some way to help, so I'll continue my training," she said with a fist raised, determined.

He sighed; he knew that there would be no one more persistent to fulfill her purpose than she would. Even when it seemed impossible and situations escaped from her control, she would show a smile and not falter to get what could be achieved, or even make the impossible, possible. Moreover, with someone like her in that work, knowing that her positive attitude would prevail, it would be a benefit to people on her way.

Her choice Kotoko was right for her; she would seek ways or different perspectives and would work for others, as she did in what mattered to her, facing it with that smile that had an effect on the ones that receive it. He knew it well.

He stood, holding her hand grasped to place the ball.

"Today you start," he said picking up his racquet to stand on the other side… to expect any good service.

 **[…]**

"Today, being onii-chan's birthday, we unveil the new house!"

Naoki sighed, while others applauded the words of his mother. He was grateful, at least, that she didn't throw a party for the refurbishing, focusing only on a family celebration after seeing the changes made; only his mother had supervised throughout the process, so it'd be a real surprise to others.

He thought it was an exaggeration, but admitted that he was interested to see what they had done with the new floor, after they were a week in a hotel.

His mother jumped in the hallway outside the door of his room. She turned the sign, which only had Yuuki's name, making him had a bad vibe inside.

"The first change," his mother announced, clapping, before opening the door. "We couldn't leave Yuuki far away from us," she added with a smile.

His brother shouted excitedly, entering the bedroom, which, with Yuuki's small bed, a desk and a bookcase, looked as wide as it look before they both shared it. A wall had been painted with robots and the room had his toys in the corner.

"Come on, come on, Yuuki, don't be late, much remains to be seen."

The room that belonged to Kotoko was transformed into a playroom, to the great joy of Yuuki and amazement of his girlfriend. The guest room recovered its purpose, but a different bed had been placed; his mother said Shigeo-san was very comfortable with the one on it, so he had it in his bedroom at the top floor.

The first thing that hit him at the new floor was the feeling of being in a spacious apartment. Before he had thought, with suspicion, that his room and Kotoko's were up there as well as the one of her father, _who arrived home late at night_.

His mother winked as they passed the Shigeo-san's bedroom and the small gym next it; there they found Kotoko's bedroom with the door facing the exercise area.

Just by opening the door, with no doubt, he noticed that the room rivaled the size of his parents' one, especially because it had its own bathroom.

Perhaps his mother was not so straightforward, because in the middle of the room with cream-colored walls and soft colors—and not as girly as her previous one—, was the same single bed of his girlfriend.

"Oba-sama! So much for me? Why not… for Naoki-kun? Or for oba-sama and oji-san?"

His mother laughed, rejecting it with a wave of her hand.

"Nonsense, onii-chan's room is equal to this, also in front of the room for the… study… the library… on this floor," said his mother, without anyone but him noticing her hesitancy.

He thought. Two master bedrooms, with two medium-sized rooms, a bathroom, and a medium-sized room, and three bedrooms on the lower floor.

He wrinkled his nose; he felt that this house was made for three families.

It was incredible. She had had her way, adjusting their plans for the future, hiding it perfectly. _She deserved a bow of acknowledgement_.

"We are missing the other rooms."

Naoki continued, containing an ironic laugh, as he had no desire to continue that.

 **[…]**

Deep into his studies, the end of the year came quickly to Naoki and his family, reaching Christmas Day so early that he did not realize how. The temperature was falling and the days became shorter. Living together at home with the same hectic but comfortable pace made time flew, like the last nineteen months, full of interesting moments that he would never have thought to live.

His mother focused mainly on Yuuki and his shy classmate, giving him a break; although he supposed that with the arrangement upstairs, she thought it could happen a situation that will speed things.

As if her desire would come true, especially because he saw his girlfriend _a lot_.

The relationship with Kotoko remained as always; she, with her own attitudes, though less present, was immersed in cases of young people living in cybercafés, a research with a classmate; and he learned manual skills in his classes. That was fine with him, who was grateful that staying busy with college, made her less insistent.

Actually, they coincide mostly during the weekend. So, it was a surprise to him that _she refused_ the opportunity to accompany them to the Christmas dinner of his father's company, which all would attend—except for Shigeo-san and Kotoko—, because she had promised to accompany her friends at Christmas, after these finished things with their boyfriends by their deceptions.

It was a bit frustrating for him to discover that he would have preferred her presence at the boring dinner full of Pandai employees. However, he recognized her faithfulness and her concern for others, which made her the type of person worth of keeping.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us, Kotoko-chan?" asked his mother as everyone prepared to go and Kotoko put lights in the living room, trying to give a festive atmosphere to her and her friends, as she did the previous year.

She did a doubtfully face and then shook her head.

"No, oba-sama, have fun. Jinko, Satomi and I will watch movies, sing karaoke and be three together today. Besides… I wouldn't have a dress," she admitted with a laugh.

His mother nodded with a grin, repositioning Yuuki's bow tie, which he removed with a grin, wanting to loosen it.

Kotoko's phone rang and she walked away while his mother tried to approach him to do the same thing with Yuuki, although he made sure that his tie was not twisted and his black tuxedo not wrinkled.

He kept his eyes on his girlfriend, who was speaking at the corner of the room. She made faces of disappointment to later transform them into smiles of joy, as he read from her lips that it made her happy that everything was a misunderstanding between Jyunpei and her friend—who should be the plump one, if he wasn't mistaken—, and that both Kotoko and her other friend would enjoy the evening together. Also, she would try not to make the other feel bad for being the only one of the three without a partner.

Kotoko hung up and went with them. "You all look very elegant," she praised with a smile reaching into her eyes while looking at him. "I wish I had been able to dance with Naoki-kun."

"There's still time," suggested his mother.

Kotoko shook her hands. "No, no, have a good time."

She accompanied them to the door, waving her arms, and he with his family headed to the hotel for the party.

Uneasy, thinking that the event would be tedious, he stared at the outside, ignoring the words of regret from his mother, on the misfortune of not being able to show off his son's girlfriend that day, to the wives of the members of his father's company.

Stopping at a traffic light, he watched a convertible discovered, as if the owners didn't have cold, and blinked, recognizing the passenger girl… it was Kotoko's tall friend, Satomi. He must have been mistaken and the other dated a Jyunpei, but he could swear the pretty had a boyfriend with money, and the plump a singer.

He sighed; it should be the opposite.

However, as if by chance, five lights later and close to the hotel, he found that in a nearby park a musician was on stage, with Kotoko's plump friend at his side.

 **[…]**

Naoki looked condescendingly to the young woman introduced by his father's partner, hiding his inner displeasure. He felt that way because they used the event as an excuse to show woman respectable for him—even when his mother had told he had a girlfriend, whose absence made them think did not exist—and because he was thinking about Kotoko's situation, after her two friends leave her dumped with their plans.

And what she hated was to spend that date alone, not refusing to go to her father's restaurant even when she had to lend a hand.

He sighed nodding his father's partner and his daughter—of a name he didn't matter—, excusing himself with his father, who gave him an ashamed look.

He met his mother when he asked for his coat to a waiter. "Are you leaving?" she asked with a sly smile.

He nodded.

"I'll tell Dad, spend a good Christmas with Kotoko-chan," she whispered with a wink.

Fortunately for him, she did not see the faint blush that appear on his face, nor the face of anger he made when he think she could insinuate something else… which he wouldn't do, but the idea itself was not unpleasant. Of course, he was attracted to his girlfriend, but…

He gritted his teeth as he ordered a taxi to take him to the supermarket, with a sudden idea in mind.

 **[…]**

Depositing in silence the things on the dining room table, Naoki looked around strangely; the absence of Kotoko shone, because quietness was unusual for her. He wondered if she had fallen asleep, as she was alone, or if she went to the restaurant.

He walked to the living room and frowned, his instincts told him something was there. He went to light a lamp beside the couch of his father.

Naoki barely caught a smell of perfume before stepping aside, a powerful cry of Kotoko ringing in his ears.

He fell to the couch and Kotoko pounced on him, hitting his head with the tennis racket.

"Stop!" he demanded, bringing his hands to her wrists, stopping her.

"Naoki-kun?" The racket landed on his head and went to the floor. "I thought you were a thief!"

He laughed at the ridiculousness and Kotoko hugged his neck, making her feel the shaking from his laughter. She must have an embarrassed face noticing the nonsense she thought, when the crime levels where they lived weren't high.

He sat putting her away from his body, leaning over to light the lamp, after which he saw her small pajama shorts and a short-sleeved blouse. With heating inside the house, she could feel more comfortable like that. If he, in his tuxedo, felt hot.

"The party already finished?"

He denied. "It was getting bored with my father's partners introducing me to his daughters as potential candidates for a wife."

"What?!" she cried, folding her arms with a pout. "I thought you came to accompany me."

"I? And your friends?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They already left," she said, blushing and looking away.

He placed his index finger on her forehead, making her face him. He stuck out his tongue. "Then you dined very quickly, sang karaoke and watched the shortest film in the history," he muttered with feigned innocence.

Kotoko bit her lower lip.

"The truth is that their boyfriends and they made up, they were misunderstandings," she murmured, making him smile without her seeing it.

He stood.

"And what did you have for dinner?" He asked over his shoulder, while she remained on the sofa staring at her lap.

Naoki picked up the small cake he had bought and brought it to the freezer, going to the dining room with two cans of tea and the plates for both, finding that she didn't follow him.

He left the plates and took the handle of the bag of fried chicken, transporting it to the living room; his mother wouldn't know they ate there, anyway.

In the living room, he placed the bag and the cans, and took out the chicken, sitting on the couch.

"You haven't dined, right?" he questioned her; she looked at the table. "Although the amount I bought can be enough for both," he said, opening his can.

"I thought you'd gone to change your clothes," Kotoko answered with bright eyes.

He put the can on the table and shrugged. "I'm hungry," he commented, untying his bow.

Kotoko jumped on him, taking him by surprise, to the point of making him lay on the couch.

"What?!" He let out wide-eyed, watching her.

She smiled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss on his lips.

"Thanks, Naoki-kun," she whispered.

He frowned. He didn't want his intentions too clear now that he saw the stupid thing he had done; it was not something like him.

He looked away.

"I didn't eat dinner," he said uselessly, because the cake would not disguise his plan… that at least she did not spend that time alone.

Kotoko pressed her lips on his, making him look back at her, to find her with her eyes closed.

Breathing in, he followed suit, bringing his hands to her waist and half opening his mouth returning the kiss. He traced his tongue on her lips and cocked his head, asking for a place in her mouth; he soon met her tongue, which made him shiver.

His heart began to stir in his chest, making a rapid march that accelerated his veins and warmed his skin.

He separated from Kotoko with a gasp and, while kissing her, he moved on the couch, exchanging positions to make her lay back with his right hand slipping under her blouse. He smiled feeling her tremble and his lips took over the line of her throat, going to the junction between her neck and shoulder, sucking lightly on that place.

He felt a drop of sweat down his back, cursing heating of the house, wanting to get rid of the jacket, but to take a garment would be a point of no return, and he still had too much sense for it. He returned his lips to hers, nibbling her lower lip between his teeth, feeling her hands moving from his chest to his head, messing his hair with her fingers.

Kotoko groaned when he slightly increased the pressure on her lip, stopping the movement of her hands.

He put his forehead on hers and allowed that both breaths slow down, as the rhythm of their hearts. She had something that made him want to continue kissing her, once started. It didn't happen when they were separated, but he felt addicted each time their mouths joined.

He didn't recognize himself for having reached that point, in which he could hardly control once he kissed her and wanted more of her, in a way that unnerved him and made him lose track of what was happening around him. It was amazing and scary to feel it.

On the hand resting on her waist, he felt a slight movement, accompanied by a growl.

He laughed and sat down, grabbing a napkin from the package before opening it and taking out a piece of fried chicken.

Kotoko, red-faced, did the same but dropped the thigh of chicken when she had not taken it off the package and ran out, leaving him dumbfounded, chewing his piece. Wasn't the growl a hungry thing?

He shrugged, lolling on the sofa, and continued eating. She returned moments later with a package in her hand, which he placed in his lap, forcing him to leave his food and clean his hands.

"Merry Christmas, Naoki-kun," she pronounced gently.

He removed the wrapping of what appeared to be wrapped clothes and asked himself, afraid, if she knitted a sweater, since his mother's attempts to teach her last year had been unsuccessful.

He felt his throat dry and swallowed hard when he finished unwrapping her gift, seeing a white garment, a white coat with his name sewn on the front, in a _meticulous_ mode. It was a nice present from her.

"I know that very soon it will have the title of doctor there," said Kotoko with a smile.

He left his gift at his side and placed a hand on her head, pulling her body slightly. "Thank you, Kotoko," he whispered in her ear.

She nodded and leaned to the table take the thigh, which she began to eat with relish.

Doing the same, he thought, perhaps, he did not have to give a poor excuse for the cake in the refrigerator. _Perhaps_ between them was unnecessary to pretend so much.

Or just for Christmas time he could allow it.


	26. The problems are just around the corner

**Chapter 26**

 **The problems are just around the corner**

* * *

Three days after New Year, Naoki and his family were in the living room, watching Kotoko do repeatedly hand movements, with different expressions on her face as a book of a red hardcover—which he didn't see the title—rested on her lap.

After observing countless times in the previous week, he had some idea of her purpose, but she didn't seem to make much progress. He had captured what she did, but Kotoko, with greater difficulty, hadn't advanced in her learning, even when she practiced constantly. At the time, he had already memorized more signs, without really knowing their meaning.

"Kotoko-chan?" The aforementioned rose her sight from her book, which again she put on her legs, and attended his mother, blinking.

"Hey?"

"What are you doing?"

She laughed briefly, shoulders down at the end, with a sigh.

"For the last trimester my sensei will evaluate me with the basic knowledge of sign language," she explained, making a pout at the end, "but I cannot learn it well."

"What does this mean?" His mother made a sign that she had been repeating in ten minutes, shaking hands, half-closed, from her chest to forward, then putting the right hand forward with a finger pointing to the front*.

Kotoko opened her eyes and mouth.

" _How are you?_ " She confirmed in her book, nodding.

"All will learn?" asked her father.

She nodded. "Some will learn the language of deaf and others the one used by blind with hearing problems."

"A very good activity."

"Yes," said Kotoko. "The next course we'll continue, but I don't learn the principals."

"Oh, oh, we can help you learn these free days." Jumped his mother, clapping. "Right?" She looked for the acceptance of his brother, his father and her father before looking at him intently.

He rolled his eyes; then keep her eyes on the clear orbs of his mother, thinking it might be convenient for him to learn the signs properly. He just didn't want to give her the pleasure of admitting defeat so easily, because she'd think she could manipulate him anytime.

"Onii-chan," mouthed her, pleadingly.

"Oba-sama, is not so necessary." His mother turned to his girlfriend. He shifted slightly toward Kotoko with a sly smile and she gave him a questioning look.

His mother turned her eyes to him. "Onii-chan, it will be entertaining."

He shrugged, before sighing.

Noriko Irie clapped and he saw his girlfriend, laughing slightly; then she nodded, raising the book. Kotoko read them the initial instructions and the first sign that they would try, the greeting, which she showed them later; he was the first, so he the image for a second and checked the previous two pages, before nodding, getting the idea, although he had been watching earlier.

Others took a little longer seeing it and he watched, amused, the looks they put, except for his mother, who stared for a moment the sign and nodded. At least, he knew he would not be teaching a class, she looked at ease.

Then, everyone tried to make the sign, like Kotoko, who had already gone through it and made it more fluently. She continued with the one his mother did, though she did not put her arms in the angle she should, elbows half of her torso.

He leaned over and fixed her arms, making a nod when she looked asking for confirmation. Kotoko smiled when he gave it.

"Nothing better than having good family time!" Cried his mother, taking a picture, before concentrating to see the next sign of the book and imitate it, to help Kotoko.

 **[…]**

Leaned with crossed arms in the wall next to the front door, Naoki waited for Kotoko to return with the mail, after hearing she whispered to herself that she would pick it. He knew that on this day would come the results of the school, so he wanted to receive his to put them in his documents, before they got lost.

He also waited the arrival of the medical journal to which he subscribed, whose volume was due to arrive this week.

He heard Kotoko's footsteps and then she came in, so attentive to the paper she read that she didn't notice his presence.

Interested in her notes, he watched over her head while she was changing shoes.

She had reached a minimum of sixty-seven and a maximum of eighty-four, getting an average of seventy-nine, not so bad case being Kotoko, she could do worse without counsel.

"Your notes?" he asked her a few seconds later.

Kotoko startled and papers flew out of her hands in different directions when she put her right hand to her chest. He took one in the air, by coincidence it was her result.

"Naoki-kun, you scared me!" Cried his girlfriend, turning and breathing heavily.

"Sorry." It had been fun, but frights like that were not good, he acknowledged. He pointed the paper in his hand. "So these are your results for the end of the second trimester?" he murmured, without seeing them.

She smiled and nodded, kneeling to gather the correspondence.

He saw the envelope containing his letter-size magazine and bowed down to it; she did the same, causing their hands to brush.

Kotoko smiled slightly, putting her hand away for another letter; she gave that one to him, as they were his notes.

He accepted it with a nod, standing to go to his room, opening the envelope of the magazine.

"Remarkable result," he said placing the open magazine on one hand as he ascended.

"Hey!? Thank you, Naoki-kun!"

He smiled listening to her celebration.

 **[…]**

Naoki suppressed a yawn while listening to Funatsu in one of his boring speeches. He was making him easy questions about Pharmacology, a course for next year; he responded by reflex, just to silence his classmate's voice, because after much insistence Funatsu became a bother.

He expected that in the second year he gained some maturity and stopped that annoyance to, at least, be able to debate on some issues with a classmate who had a high level.

"Naoki-kun, Funatsu-san," greeted Kotoko, placing her tray on the table, next to him, something that, from midway through the second trimester, she had not done.

He preferred that she was there than the one following him.

"Are you going to take the exam for Todai?" asked his girlfriend to his classmate, who seemed puzzled by the question. Neither did he understand why he would do that.

"Why would I apply?"

"Naoki-kun said you were the young man to whom I almost crashed last year… I thought I cause you a delay."

Funatsu pierced at her behind his glasses and stood, leaving with arms crossed. Naoki refused, snorting, he did not believe that a delay was the reason for not being in Todai.

"What did I say?"

As if waiting for an opportunity to approach, Matsumoto, followed by Sudou, occupied the empty places at the table.

"Hello, Sudou-san," said cheerfully Kotoko, "Matsumoto-san," she muttered.

The woman rolled her eyes.

"There aren't free tables, and I have dignity, Aihara," said Matsumoto in petulant voice.

"And she'll give me a chance," Sudou added, being watched annoyed by the dark-haired.

"That, I won't," said Matsumoto. "But I have the answer to your question," she continued, picking up her chopsticks with a delicate gesture. "Funatsu did not take the examination of Todai knowing that Irie would not take it; he had second place in the national tests and did not take it very well, so he decided that he would prove to be better than Irie and to do it he enrolled at this university, in the same department."

"And how do you know?"

"There are those who know him in my department," explained Matsumoto, bringing some rice to her mouth.

Naoki denied to himself, solving the riddle of Funatsu. Now he thought irritated that he wouldn't change his purpose of being behind him and make questions to find ways to win.

He looked at the dark-haired eating gracefully, telling himself that she had the same reason when she decided on the university; but at least _she did seem to have left it behind._

He looked toward the kitchen; _he expected someone else to do so_. That alone would make him free of something stuck in his chest. Moments ago, when he met with Ikezawa, this had said that his purpose of the year was to show his true form and to finally open Kotoko's eyes… that the best person was someone who loved her and showed that he cared for her.

They were just tall tales, she had enough with him, he had her on good consideration and he could give her an irreproachable future… also, they get along comfortably.

He didn't need to be more.

 _Right?_

 **[…]**

Drinking water in the kitchen, before bed, Naoki heard a noise in another room, which he attributed to his girlfriend and denied knowing that she tended to have accidents at home, dropping something with her carelessness, surprisingly, never hurting her or someone.

"Naoki-kun!" Kotoko's cry froze his blood so he put the glass on the table and rushed out of the kitchen to go to the room where she was. "Oba-sama! Naoki-kun! The living room!"

He walked faster knowing where to go, telling himself that she must have really hurt herself to make that call.

He stopped for a second in the entrance hall and put on automatic pilot when he saw his father on the floor. His face was pale and he had one hand on his chest; he was almost face down next to one of the fallen broken lamps.

Naoki knelt beside him, in the space vacated by Kotoko, and handed her the phone, devoting himself entirely to his father.

"Call for an ambulance." He indicated.

"Dad!" He heard yelling of his mother and brother seconds later.

He did not lose concentration, using the medical first aid learned until then, taking his signs and gathering information through observation and questioning, making all that, in his impotence, he could do.

Paramedics arrived moments later.

Then, _Pandora's Box opened_.

 **[…]**

Naoki's eyelids fell a moment and he nodded off, but he stood up rubbing his eyes, meeting his mother's face across the waiting room of General Hospital, where they had taken his father in emergency. It was the middle of the night and they were assisting him and performing studies.

She approached him, sitting beside him and holding his hand.

"You should go home, onii-chan; tomorrow you have to go to college. I'll stay."

He denied, squeezing his mother's hand. That was his place at the time and he could not sleep quietly until he know exactly the situation. He could swear that his father was about to suffer a heart attack, which led him to wonder what might have led to have it, of the multiple causes that could cause the blockage of blood vessels.

Naoki expected to be wrong, that it was something related to the lungs or trachea, or anything else. That it was not a condition that claimed millions of lives per year and represented the first leading cause of death in the world.

He brought his free hand to his head, until, at the time, someone called his father's family to inform them of his current situation, which prompted to stand with his mother.

He nodded listening to the state of his father and the favorable response of attending him before. His father would be kept under observation for the next few hours, after which the procedure would be decided, although he would have to remain hospitalized for control, and receive indications when he had to leave the medical center.

While attending the doctor, he could not help wondering the cause of the event.

He mulled over it, unable to reach a conclusion; but most likely it was the lifestyle of his father, to which Naoki already thought about and insinuated should modify, though his father didn't do it. It required iron fist to make an older person change his habits, sometimes even those who had wake-up calls ignored them, with the excuse that his time was near or "anyway going to die", to highlight the common ones.

Nevertheless, he thought there was something else.

Unfortunately, he wished he had some mistakes and that everything was due to the current lifestyle of his father.

 _But some answers, unwanted, came without being asked._

 **[…]**

The next day, the cause of his father's estate had become clear to Naoki.

He gave a long sigh in front of the door of his otou-san, with his secretary's words making sense after he wanted to know the status of his boss.

Naoki had called to notify him of the absence of his father, but he had appeared a while later with consternation and he could know the mystery about what caused his father on the verge of a heart attack.

Pandai.

The company was making losses, many, and was going through a bad economic situation that year, in which the sales of the products had declined because of competition and the investors were making demands. The pressure of the situation was the cause of his father's estate.

The work of his life was in danger.

"There situations to solve, decisions to make, and Irie-sama hospitalized is a major obstacle."

"The same caused him to be in a hospital bed," he snapped, rubbing his temples, feeling that the restless night in an uncomfortable chair was catching up to him, along with all the problems.

The secretary had the decency to look contrite, but he knew that the other was right worrying, his work and those of everyone in the company could be jeopardized if everything got worse or Pandai went bankrupt.

"Is it necessary that my father is who handles the affairs?" he asked in even tone.

The other hesitated. "He is the one who takes most of the management of the company, he had intended to delegate this year, but he did not start after the problems perceived in the graphs of sales balances in early January."

"Does it have to be my father?"

"If there is someone else who can make conscious choices, who have the absolute confidence of Irie-sama."

Naoki cursed in his mind.

"Has my father chosen the people to delegate?" The man nodded. "Can they meet?" Another nod. "Will there be issues undesignated?"

"Yes, but the work of others must be supervised."

"How many years have you been with my father, Sato-san?"

"Fifteen."

"Then you and I have work to do," he replied, standing up. The other opened his mouth.

"Your father always wanted you to succeed, but with you studying medicine…"

"That's why you will help me, you could solve my doubts after I read my father's archives," he said, with the goal in mind of helping the company. He wasn't very worried, because his abilities had to help, along with Mr. Sato's experience.

"Naoki-kun." He turned in the direction where Kotoko came, stopping at him. "How is oji-san?"

"Stable," replied plainly, nodding to his father's secretary. "I have to go."

"Where?" she asked him with eyes open wide.

"Pandai, do not tell my parents," he demanded, following to the secretary.

 **[…]**

Making a sneer that failed to change his state of mind, Naoki lowered the cup and swallowed the nasty coffee that someone had served him, and that only served to irritate him more and increase the state of uneasiness he felt inside, seeing the balances costs and sales company. He also took into account the budgets of income and expenses, behind a lot of paperwork in the last twenty hours.

He didn't know why he was seeing again the graphics if he didn't need it, but having tangible proof in his hands and before his eyes, served for _something_.

The company was declining in profits, compared to the previous two years, and was putting its existence in danger, because some of the major investors were gradually offering their shares to retire, and the number of minority shareholders increased. It was not so important, considering that, if the company kept going like that, in a couple of years there wouldn't be more Pandai… Leaving many unemployed…

…and the dream of his father and brother adrift.

His father's work would be lost.

His father had not seemed any different in all that time, or at least Naoki had not noticed any apparent change in him. The threat of a sudden heart attack had been what served to draw attention to it.

He rubbed his eyes, Sato-san had said that his father had recently considered making use of his personal monetary assets to support the company, but the man said that it would have been a desperate measure that would have left him in a precarious position, without the right strategy to direct the company. In addition to the breakdown of the company, he would have been bankrupt himself.

It was needed a good contingency plan to move forward, but also monetary support for viable solutions.

At the time, he could not think what it might be. His head, after two days with no real rest, saw only numbers, and _red ones_ , which was worse.

As fresh blood.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He wanted to go back to a week ago, with no problems, concentrating on his preparation and future as a physician. Things were calm and nothing serious happened, his father was healthy and not a possible drop in the company was expected, things with his family showed calm, he enjoyed going to college and learn more about the human body and medical practice.

He had a sense of unease, feeling a sensation in his chest… He thought that, in the current situation, he would have to abandon his dream of becoming a doctor and devote himself entirely to help his father, changing his career to work for Pandai. He owed much to him and a good way of giving it back would be supporting his dream.

He did not want the company to sank, nor every effort of his life to waste, but his dream was to become a doctor and… he did not know what to do.

He gritted his teeth, looking in another folder for more information about the situation. Neither was time to think about it, just two days not attending college had made him consider the matter—as well as the papers he had been reading.

How he wished to wake up in his bed and it was just a nightmare.

 **[…]**

On the third day of not moving, practically, from Pandai, Naoki, with very few hours of sleep, wanted to scurry away halfway through the day without having to see the worried faces of the employees of his father, or the repetitive look of Mr. Sato put on him, while the other made numerous annotations.

He recalled that, to just calling his mother, he had not gone to see his father, and had to approach the hospital. His father was better, but was still at the hospital and he knew his absence would generate suspicion in him, because he was no fool. Also, he should go talk to him, so he would not brooding on the matter of Pandai and prevented his recovery, since his mother had said that the heart rate and blood pressure were the doctor concerns.

They would not drop if he was still thinking of his company.

The office door of presidency opened and he was angry because they did not call, but also thinking it could be due to some bad news that prevented remembering education. _Which was worse_.

"Naoki-kun."

He raised his head, hoping that it wasn't a serious matter with his father to make Kotoko be there. His phone was somewhere beneath the papers, and he knew he had enough battery, although it could be that he did not pay attention, immersed in what he was.

"I brought lunch." He looked at the package she was carrying in her hand and sighed, he wasn't in the mood to support one of the failed culinary attempts of his girlfriend, now that his mother was in the hospital. "I went to my father's restaurant," she explained, as if she understood the reason for his sighed.

"And your classes?" he asked, pushing the papers from the table to make room.

The truth was that he wanted a good meal after too much coffee and days without eating decent food. Somehow, she was a source of encouragement.

"It's time for clubs," she said, shrugging, placing the bento box on the desk. "Will you again be home late at night today?"

"I do not know," he muttered with another sigh. He needed to think.

"What is it, Naoki-kun?" she asked in a worried voice. "Does oji-san's company have too many problems? Is that why he became ill?"

He ran his hand over his face, before nodding, opening his eyes.

She swallowed. "I wish I could do something to help."

Even he knew if he was very capable. That was not his field and he was involved in the basics, from what he had read previously, the common sense and the contributions of Sato-san.

There must be something he could do, but he had the head a bit tired after so much information and stress of concern for his father, sleepless nights, and own indecision to contend… So finding a solution, at the time, was difficult for him.

If his father, who was the expert, had not done much, what could he do?

Tension rose on his shoulders. "Naoki-kun, what's exactly the work of your father's company?" Asked Kotoko as he began to eat.

"Initially to the development of toys, but they diversified to video games, which has become the main objective," he replied, after swallowing.

She pulled a bottle of water from her purse and gave it to him.

"All the men and women that I found out there work in video games?"

He denied, though… they were actually very few young people in the creative and developer team of Pandai; he saw their ages in a report from payroll department of HR, in the brief time he wanted to know the total number of employees who would be affected.

"Oh, and did they make interesting games for girls?" She kept on, hitting a ball on the Newton's cradle on the desktop, which began to swing the others. "Because they always make the best for boys… or those who are for boys and girls do not have characters that girls like. When I was a child I complained to Dad and he laughed, but when I played at the holidays of the end of school year… Naoki-kun?"

He blinked; he had been engrossed listening, with a possible way of many that would be needed to get out of that rough patch.

In the market, there were more games designed for men, or for both genres, or the ones for women weren't made without something pink or a poor protagonist. They needed good heroines or a videogame based on something famous at the time to stick in the public.

He had to bring it out, they need to do market analysis to develop potential games that appealed to different users, also female members; with the considerable difference population between men and women, it would serve to look at them, and because, not like before, they began to be more interested in video games, or so he thought. Ironically, he had never liked videos, although his father worked on it.

"What were you saying?" He watched carefully to Kotoko, with an idea forming in his head… _a famous heroine in that moment_.

Kotorin.

Could it be? Or was it just that now the only person he had in his head was she, who had given him a path with her chatter and movement of her hands.

The signs.

 _A public not taken into account._

They could not just make them read; at least, the weak hearing people would be able to get involved.

Enough of getting distracted; he should pay attention because her speech was not useless.

She smiled slightly. "I said that I got bored in the holidays at the end of the school year, with games that they sold…"

"When did they launch the games onto the market?" He asked aloud, remembering that the last developed was designed to mid-March, two weeks after the end of classes.

"I do not know… but on vacation."

Because they had the idea that children would be entertained with them between courses. He should check that because, as he suspected, if they launched the games a week after school, as a whole, those interested would find multiple options; however, if the first day of spring break they found out a unique game that caught their attention.

Another possible audience could be the one who had too much mental agility, like him, people who needed a _really_ tough game for them, one to which they didn't lose interest easily.

"I have business to attend to, go home," he said, standing up. She frowned.

"But… you have not finished." He did not need to eat; he was interested in things more important. She could have just offered him the alternatives he needed; she had come to enlighten him.

"Go home, Kotoko," he requested, walking toward the exit.

 **[…]**

Naoki listened to Sato-san; they had just presented viable proposals, so far, to the team, which was mainly willing—but also had doubts—about having everything ready for the launch of the Spring game a week and a half before, to stay ahead of competitors and break the normal scheme of the country. He hoped it was a success, although it looked very possible, but they said that other companies do not bet for that and preferred the traditional… just that in Pandai needed break it and take on challenges and risks…

Someone knocked on the door and he allowed access. Looking up he met the dubiously face of Kotoko, looking in between the crack.

It could be lunch again. Honestly, if it were not for her, he'd forget to eat; the many office workers who insisted on taking him office tea or coffee, didn't think about the nutrients that food could provide; Kotoko, however, yes.

He invited her to go in with a nod and she hugged the food to her chest, going to sit in an armchair.

Sato-san did not take much notice, still immersed in the documents he held in his hands, with the development of potential ideas.

"Really it's a shame that you aren't the successor of Irie-sama, if everything works. They really are very good ideas, Naoki, that can be successful by themselves."

However, the problem was on the money, said the other at the same time he thought of it. They needed to discuss the matter.

"Is there any entrepreneur who can do business relationship instead of going to banks for loans?" he asked, leaning slightly back in his swivel chair, with a pen in his right hand.

"Actually, there's Oizumi-sama, the most convenient, an important businessman," said the man, a thoughtful look. "He's the president of his corporation. However… since recent times, he has a greater concern than partnering with other companies, unless it can be persuaded, though it does not seem possible… or do something that secured his most valuable asset."

"What are you talking about, Sato-san?"

"She has a granddaughter, almost the same age as you, and he wants to secure her future." Naoki dropped the pen he was holding and closed his eyes, feeling his blood run cold. "If we offer a deal as a marriage interview."

Kotoko gasped, breaking the words of Sato-san. He was speechless, and watched her, seeing her white face with a closed expression.

"Is that the only way he can give the money to the company of Irie-san?" she asked somberly.

Naoki hated to see the assent of Sato-san. That was… it let him… No… He scanned the expression of the man, looking for any sign of doubt, but he was sure of his answer.

The hand that was on the armrest of the chair, clenched, as he felt an invisible force mantle fell on his head, sinking him.

"Naoki-kun…" He moved his gaze to Kotoko, who was near the door. "If that will help oji-san… I… I think you should…"

He, like a spring, stood. She shook her head, going out without looking back.

* * *

* From American Sign Language, which influenced others. I didn't find the Japanese ones.


	27. Dealing with real life

**Chapter 27**

 **Dealing with real life**

* * *

Naoki stood in the office, static, processing what Kotoko had done; she was putting the welfare of others before her own happiness and…

She was a person like no other. She just had left to make it clear that she would step aside if he accepted the proposal of Sato-san, which could serve to help Pandai.

Nevertheless…

"Naoki." By force of habit, he looked at Sato-san, who put a mobile before his eyes, in which he barely saw the screen; it was a young woman next to an old man. "She's Oizumi Sahoko."

"I want to be alone," he requested in a voice devoid of emotion, the secretary of his father.

"The girl that just left, is the girlfriend that Irie-sama said?"

He shook his head in affirmation, mechanically.

"Sato-san…" he whispered.

"You can see it as a duty to your family, Naoki; she seems to understand it."

"I want to be alone," he repeated, and this time he looked straight into the eyes of Sato-san, who nodded, leaving the place.

Naoki heard the click of the door closing, as if a simple sound broke the silence in the middle of a desolate place; but he was the one disturbed.

He lowered his head and rested his hands on the edge of the desk, until he felt the blood wasn't circulating through them and put his knuckles white. His jaw ached so much for gritting his teeth.

Tension burned his shoulders and he jerked away from the desk, which he surrounded. He put his hands in his hair, stroking it in despair, while the world around him fell, and collapsed, and a wave of fury burned him from the bottom of his chest.

Having to marry that girl. Oizumi Sahoko.

He could not deal with so much, it was too much, he wanted to scream and destroy everything around him, tell problems to go hell and finish any trace with his own hands, he wanted to end all and take off the horrible load that damaged his shoulders; _a weight that he imposed on himself_.

But he just could not close his eyes and pretend everything was going to disappear at his desire.

Only _someone_ had done it on her free will.

Naoki gritted his teeth, ranting his bad luck, and glared at the desk with the compelling evidence of his problems.

He rubbed his face in frustration and walked in circles around the office, which was getting smaller, as the chances he had.

He found the trash bin in his way and kicked with all his strength, making it hit the glass that separated the wide view of the city, the window resounded with a dry sound without showing any change.

He collapsed his body in the chair and positioned his head on his open palms, not knowing what to do.

"If that will help oji-san… I… I think you should…"

His felt a lump in his throat and, with cloudy eyes, full of anger and helplessness, he stared into the void.

 **[…]**

Naoki answered the phone when he felt it vibrate for the third time, having penetrated the cloudiness of his mind, after hours of walking senseless in the cold streets. He was now outside the hospital, to where he came somehow to think.

He could not get a solution and the way he struggled inside was exhausting, always rejecting the possibility of marrying that woman…

"Onii-chan, can you come to the hospital?"

He frowned at his mother's words. "What's going on?" he asked, approaching the crosswalk to go to the building, with his heart racing because something could be happening with his father.

"I went out to the cafeteria and when I came back I found that there are some businessmen in the room with Dad…"

"I'm in the first floor," he cut. "I'll be there in a few moments."

In quickly steps, he walked to the entrance area of hospitalizations and therein he took the first elevator that opened its doors, where he pressed the right floor. This took—to his opinion—its time to go up; when he arrived he came out as a bullet to his father's room, his mother was waiting outside.

He nodded to her when she said they didn't listen to her and opened the door, taking a deep breath before doing so.

The four men in suits around his father, and him, turned to the door.

"Gentlemen, I must ask you to leave the room," he said in a harsh tone, earning an astonished look from his father, whose face reddened slightly. "Any issue you have to deal with Pandai will be resolved by me," he added before anyone could speak. "In this moment my father is sick and dealing with company matters affects his health."

"Naoki," mouthed his father seriously.

He did not intimidate, approaching him.

"It's for your health," he said to his father in a respectful tone.

One of the men, Mr. Hamasaki, wiser among all, nodded, and he indicated them to wait outside.

"I ask you to allow me a few moments," he requested, bowing his head.

Others nodded quietly.

"Naoki," spoke his father, once they were in private. "I have to take care of my business."

"I know what is happening," he explained, earning a sigh of his father. "I'll help you, father, it's my decision."

"But you're not responsible for it," his father replied.

He took a deep breath.

"I wish to do it… let me do it…" he almost begged, swallowing, _making a decision_. "I want you to recover, father." _Before anything else… I don't want to lose you_ , he thought, but his father seemed to understand, because he nodded quietly, in a wordless exchange.

He turned to face his father's partners, but he stopped him by calling him when he put his hand on the door handle. " _Until I recover_ ," he said in a firm voice. "So you'll focus on your dream of becoming a doctor. And… do not take hasty decisions."

Squeezing the metal in his hand—aware of what he intended to do—, he nodded.

 **[…]**

Sitting on the first step of the stairs, Naoki waited for the arrival of Kotoko; Yuuki had told him that, after giving him dinner, she excused herself and went out with a strange look. The information gnawed on his head, focused on the clock that showed a late hour of the night, without her coming back.

It was snowing outside.

It would be useless going out to search for her, as she could be _somewhere_ , but he felt anxious sitting there, not knowing her whereabouts and her thoughts after the last time he saw her that day.

Did she not realize he could not marry Oizumi Sahoko?

That young woman could be the most virtuous and have many talents, but she wasn't Kotoko, to whom he had in high esteem.

Two years ago, he would have taken into account Sahoko-san, thinking that the best was to have someone proper by his side, as Oizumi seemed to brag; back then, he would have accepted that kind of girl, who would give a good image as was expected of him.

Now he owed to himself and he had a girlfriend, but he also owed his family, as Sato-san had said.

Nevertheless, he also saw Kotoko and Shigeo-san as his family.

All of them were his priority; they were even ahead of being a doctor. For them he would take the risk and present the best business plan that could be made, and thereby convince Oizumi-sama without failing his family.

In addition, the prospect of Kotoko aside, for someone _much better and more suitable_ for him, seemed unpleasant. She had brought more excitement to his life and he cared for her, he valued her in his life. She was _his girlfriend_ , he was not going to dispose of her as a rag to opt for a woman he didn't know and for whom he had not consideration.

It was just _ridiculous_ that Kotoko might think that he would choose the other before her.

Also it was that he, for a moment, considered the idea.

He had made the mistake that the situation overwhelmed him, but it shouldn't be. The calm was always his best mate. He had to get it back.

Naoki sighed; at that time, he didn't have it, less with Kotoko outside and with their last meeting in his mind, where she suggested following the proposal of Mr. Sato.

He understood her, because _he had fallen into the same_.

"Stop chewing on it," he reprimanded himself loudly, rubbing his eyes.

He heard a key in the lock on the door and stood. When the door opened, he saw Kotoko entering, taking off her gloves and a wool hat covered in snow, before doing the same with her boots and the wet coat, which she held on her forearm.

In the dimly lit, she wasn't aware that he was watching her, noticing her movements slow and dull.

"Kotoko," he whispered, and she raised her face, with open eyes. Her orbs seemed red as he closed the distance between them.

He held her elbow directing her to the living room, where he turned on the light and invited her to sit on the couch; she did not raise her face or complaint.

That wasn't Kotoko, he thought containing a sound of reprobation.

"I'm not going to marry Oizumi-san," said finally, making her look at him, shocked. "Nor I want you to mention this nonsense again."

"But…" He looked away, opposed to discussing his most personal reasons. He didn't level with people.

"No, I have no interest in the arrangement," he announced in his discomfort, staring at the table, where the sketchbook of his brother was open. He reached for it, opening it and going through the pictures, thinking that Yuuki strokes had improved exponentially in the last year.

They were very good and had potential, if an expert rescued the ideas and exploited to its maximum level. There they had other options, another future, and another route. There was too much to present Oizumi, who must accept it or would be foolish; but if he rejected the alliance, there would be other, or a bank loan, which could be paid with benefits from the new ideas.

He had to talk to Yuuki to bring the notebook to Pandai.

Although, the first thing to do was the issue with the manga and anime club, taking advantage of the fame that their work had at the time and the novelty of their topic. "Naoki-kun?"

He blinked, returning his gaze to her, she saw him with radiant eyes. "You won't marry her?"

He denied, sighing.

"I do not want to be selfish… but… that makes me very happy," she said, standing up, to go to him and surround him with her arms, while he remained motionless beside her. Only his right hand moved almost imperceptibly to her waist.

It was impossible for her to be selfish, he pondered to himself, before closing his eyes for a moment, allowing that, slowly, the tension of the last few hours left him. Somehow, he could relax in that position, although he felt disliked thinking that she had that kind of power in him, which he could not understand. At that moment, it didn't mattered a lot, he just felt grateful that his overwhelmed mind lightened slightly, for the days to come.

Kotoko moved away and he raised his eyelids, to see her smiling shyly.

"Can I do something to help the company?"

He frowned. "University," he pronounced softly, because for her, addressing the two issues at once would be complicated. With him, it was different, and he wanted to see the results in the company to decide on his career.

"I'll have a lot of time," she replied, with great determination in her eyes. "And… I'll be very happy to help oji-san with what I can, as he did with my dad and me. You have supported us a lot. Can I, Naoki-kun?"

He shrugged; he would not refuse, since she had been helpful the days she was there. Also, he admitted to himself, having her beside him in the company would provide him with a good source of inspiration and… calmness.

He put his forefinger on her forehead. "Not bad notes in college," he warned and then left the room, Yuuki's notebook in hand.

 **[…]**

After lunch and a walk on the street outside the building where his father's offices were, Naoki reentered the establishment of polished floors and elegant furnishings, to meet with Mr. Oizumi. They had a couple of days perfecting the plan to introduce, in which he put his hopes.

He walked to the elevators and, far away, recognized Kotoko. She entered the cabin, loaded with folders in her arms. He had heard she wasn't very good there, but she pushed herself so much that the opinions of others did not matter… and the others didn't know that ideas that could be the salvation of the company had her influence.

He quickened his steps to reach the nearly empty elevator, which didn't close yet, but someone beat him, demanding to stop them.

Kotoko opened her eyes and nodded; she pressed a button on the panel when the young woman of casual clothes—out of place there—was about to enter… but the doors began to close.

He rolled his eyes and placed his briefcase between the gates, so they didn't close on her—the sensor should not function properly.

"I'm sorry! It was the wrong button," Kotoko said, bowing her head repeatedly.

"Be careful with what you do," he muttered, stepping into the elevator, the last thing they needed was some complaining for an accident.

His gaze when to the woman and he tightened, recognizing her face from the photograph shown by Sato-san. _Oizumi Sahoko_. What was she doing there?

"Are you all right, miss?" he asked formally, without showing that her presence there caused him displeasure. Not that she was ugly or something like that; on the contrary, she was a young good-looking woman, but she had a meaning he didn't want to accept.

She nodded, and he noticed that her eyes followed him, bothering him. What would happen if she insisted on his grandfather after that incident?

"What floor?" Kotoko asked, and Sahoko, still looking at him, whispered a number two floors below the two of them would go.

He looked at his girlfriend, who expected his answer. "Naoki-kun?"

"I'm going to the same floor as you," he said, after seeing the number illuminated on the panel.

She smiled and he was relieved for a moment that she was unaware of the identity of their companion, who walked out slowly in the ground she asked, looking over her shoulder as the doors closed.

Then they came to their floor.

"Today is your meeting with Oizumi-sama, right?" He nodded, sighing. "I know you can get it. Naoki-kun is very good."

He contained a smile for her great confidence in him, thanking her in his mind, hoping that her words were true and the meeting had the result he wanted.

Kotoko watched him for several seconds.

"Don't you have to deliver those documents?" he asked with a hint of joke, pointing the folders pressed against her chest.

She opened wide her eyes and jumped, running toward the workspaces, in the middle of complaints from people who crossed her path.

Naoki let out a short laugh, which served to boost his spirits and decide he was ready for the meeting to take place half an hour later.

He walked to the small room prepared to receive Oizumi-sama and therein he sat on the couch between the two sofas of brown suede, carefully watching the folders on the low table, waiting for the time to pass until the announcement of the arrival of the old man— _with him_ , because he suspected Oizumi was already in the building.

He only hoped that his granddaughter didn't attend the meeting; it would be a very clear nonverbal message.

If the meeting were a failure, he'd not sit idly by and would go to different executives or banks, to ensure the survival of the work of his father's life, in which future generations of his family could be, if they wanted. It was a company to be proud of, and, if his interest wasn't another, he would be there too; he already saw the real importance of Pandai, one that shouldn't be disdained. He had a different perspective now that he had been involved in its affairs.

If it had been his path, had he not found a career that really attracted him, he might have found _something_ there, if he had entered a few months as an intern.

Nevertheless, now everything was different. He had his medical studies, which he really didn't want to leave; it was just that his main priority were the efforts of his father and then his dream of being a doctor. He owed it to his family; first, he would secure Pandai, and then be faithful to his aspiration.

It should be possible; if not, _there was a figure more important than that_.

He opened his eyes, surprised by that brief thought, but then someone knocked on the door and he kept his composure, standing when he checked the clock marking the exact time of the meeting.

Oizumi-sama was an elderly man with a cane; fortunately, he arrived alone.

Naoki rejected the presence of Mr. Sato in the meeting. During this, Oizumi-sama devoted himself to read the proposal, and only listened to him when he introduced himself and asked whether he wanted tea, which the man postponed for forty-five minutes later.

Oizumi-sama gave the appearance of being a serious person, but not like Naoki, because his face, worn by the ravages of old age and sorrows of life, slightly changed its expressions, while reading.

Silence did not bother Naoki, though he just could not deny the thundering heartbeat in his chest, waiting for the first review to the plan done by Mr. Sato and him, along with the contribution of different workers in the company—those of good skills that his father had proposed to delegate responsibilities.

Finally, Oizumi-sama came to the last page, just when someone knocked on the door of the room. He had not met someone as punctual as himself, but he guessed that the great power of the businessman was for something.

"Go ahead," he said, as the old man remained silent, watching the door that opened carefully.

Kotoko appeared there, dressed in pants and dress shirt, black and pink, respectively; she held neatly a tea tray until she placed it at the table, smiling in the genuine way that won the sympathy of many.

"Good evening," she said before serving herbal tea in the two white cups, gently asking the preference of his guest, to whom she handed his drink before him.

Her presence in the company was something that suited him, it allowed him to stay in touch with the well-known and it was comforting the way she supported him.

"Do you know well this young man, young lady?" Spoke Oizumi-sama, addressing Kotoko, who winced, but nodded, looking at him briefly.

"Naoki-kun is the best, Oizumi-sama; he is very smart and always gets what he wants to do, he highly values his family and helping others," Kotoko said, making him feel ashamed inside, as well as a different feeling. She gained confidence and sat in front of the old man while moving her hands. "He's very committed. He studies medicine and is concerned in the welfare of others; he has great capabilities, and although he looks very serious, I think he can be very kind…"

"Kotoko," he interrupted, wondering where that last impression came. He also cut her because he didn't want her to speak more to the elder man, disturbing him.

Oizumi-sama, yet, pleasantly laughed and shook his head, his dark eyes staring his girlfriend's face.

"I like you, young lady." Yeah, no big surprise, Naoki recognized, holding her hand as she tilted her head to the old man.

"Don't you have another activity to do?" he murmured, inviting her to stand with him and head for the door.

She stared at him wide-opened before nodding.

"A pleasure to meet you, Oizumi-sama," she pronounced with a respectful bow.

The other smiled. "The pleasure is mine, young lady," he replied, nodding when Kotoko closed behind her and he returned to his seat.

"I apologize for her," he said seriously.

"Oh, no, young Irie, there's no reason. Now, let us talk about the business proposal. I find it interesting what you project. I must consult with my lawyers first."

"Of course," he replied, feeling his heart in his throat.

"However, I can assure you from this moment, that my corporation and Pandai will have a good relationship in the future." Naoki swallowed his sigh of relief; it was a step forward. He could have shouted with happiness. "You're talented, young Irie, is a pity that your future is another… With what I know of you, Irie-sama would have a good successor in his eldest son, but it will be a profit for the health field."

He nodded in appreciation.

"Though this made me think that I'd like someone like you close to my family," continued the man and he, for a moment, cold sweated. "I have a granddaughter of your age, very nice."

The old man watched him for a few seconds. He tried to keep his face impassive, but he gripped doubt that he broke off the business.

"Would you like to meet her? It is an independent matter, personal, not business-like," assured the other, sipping his tea. "I know the gossip running, but they are wrong, I would not put my granddaughter in a hurry with a person just because I want to see her well established before I die. However, she, surprisingly, has told me that she would try."

He cleared his throat, imagining that she had given her approval moments before. "Oizumi-sama, with all due respect," he whispered, softly, taking care of his words, "I must decline your invitation. I think your granddaughter must be lovely, but…"

"Yes?"

He sighed, smiling briefly, almost imperceptibly. "The _young lady_ is my girlfriend…" he said in very confident voice. "And I won't change her."

Oizumi-sama looked at him for a moment and shrugged, smiling afterward.

"It's a pity," declared the other, "but a good choice. I'm glad you're sincere."

He nodded, considering that she was an appropriate choice.

His thought of moments ago came back to his mind. _The figure_.

He cared of Kotoko more than he let admit to himself.

 _Until then_.

 **[…]**

The silence accompanied Naoki until the day before his father was discharged, when the assistant of Mr. Oizumi sent the signed documents that made official the business relationship between the two parties; the appropriate corrections were made, accepted by both, reaching an agreement that benefited the companies.

It caused deep satisfaction to know that he could properly direct the company, although the launch of the latest video game hadn't occurred yet. That work was keeping the team busy—as well as him, occupied in the last minute details—because it was being made in fewer days. It was necessary to monitor everything properly… so it was perfect and obtained a clear success, with no failure for the rush.

However, after lunch, he decided to take some minutes to teach employees the presentation he had prepared a few days before, anticipating the conclusion of the agreement with the Oizumi Corporation.

Thus, he found himself in front of them in the boardroom, projecting specific parts of the work that would keep them busy at least twelve months, or slightly more, depending on what they developed. There was potential in the young people to employ their skills further with all these ideas, especially after the talk he had about risks and the changing world… of giving better opportunities for young people and gather their ideas with the experience of the elderly, in order to obtain much better results. He had highlighted the recent social networks and their possible future, and the companies that failed for turning their backs to the latest technology. With that talk, he convinced them and they accepted the changes.

Many liked his oratory; it was good that he occupied it in something important.

"And I left for the end, what will be the upcoming release of this summer," he announced when askance he saw Kotoko with a coffee pot, approaching to serve those who were sitting at the table.

He started talking, intermittently directing his gaze to her, _the inspiration_ , before focusing on the work that they would begin to do with the creators of Kotorin and A Racquet Warrior.

"What's wrong with you?!" Cried a man's voice. He looked for the owner. "Don't be useless as always!"

He frowned at the man, rather young, who stood and pushed Kotoko, mumbling complaints against her. Naoki noted that then she ended her reverie with the presentation to realize that she had spilled the coffee of the employee, to whom she repeatedly asked for forgiveness.

Criticism to her started and he gritted his teeth in anger when he saw the red face of his girlfriend; she seemed to want to disappear.

They had no right to mock her.

And much less to insult her.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _I think Naoki's reason to make her his girlfriend is worse that an engagement thing._


	28. Blindly

**Chapter 28**

 **Blindly**

* * *

Naoki observed the room, where no one realized the inappropriateness of mocking his girlfriend.

It bothered him greatly to witness the effect they had on her.

He cleared his throat loudly and the voices fell silent. Sato-san looked at him like troubled, because he knew he was the only one who knew his relationship with her, though he was aware that Kotoko had made some mistakes.

They were just ridiculous and naive with that ruckus. He'd give them a lesson.

"That young woman you criticize," he spoke in a firm and serious voice, the same that he knew caused shivers, "is, mostly, the reason that you _still have a job_ ," he claimed, approaching her to take the coffee pot and give it to the employee, who looked stunned as the others. If the other was burned, he deserved it. (Since he could not do more about the matter.)

He made Kotoko walk forward while she kept her hazel orbs on him.

"This young lady was the one who inspired the creators of Kotorin. Also, with her contributions, she helped with many of the ideas that you will work in the coming months," he explained with a smile of arrogance. "So you owe your gratitude to her and not to me… your jobs were saved thanks to her influence."

Nobody said a word and Sato-san nodded, because he already knew it, as Naoki clarified when he congratulated for his wit. Others took the nod as an incentive to cut their complaints to her and nod in her direction, quiet.

"Oji-san's company will be saved?" She asked him, ignoring the stares she received. She was focused on him since he started talking to the others.

He confirmed moving his lips, with his eye on her.

Kotoko jumped clapping, celebrating as if the victory belonged to her, enraptured in the midst of her happiness. He would have had that response if his persona were different; but his girlfriend could celebrate for both.

The others in the room watched Kotoko a few seconds before bursting into applause.

He would give them some minutes and then would remind them of the goal they had for two weeks forward, there was still the first big step.

 **[…]**

"Welcome home, dad!"

Naoki watched the smile of excitement that appeared on his otou-san after hearing the words of his brother, Kotoko, and Shigeo-san. Along with them, he was in the dining room to greet his father, who had been discharged from the hospital.

Naoki knew that it would not be easy for his father to change his lifestyle, but all were quite interested in his welfare, as much as himself, in order that the inadequate habits did not make him go back to the hospital bed that he hated, or go directly to the other world.

They had been express—the physician and him—on the importance of changes, and his parent, fearing the consequences, agreed, showing the same energy that he put to found his company and to make it what it was today.

Everyone knew that, once Irie Shigeki made that promise, nothing would diverted him from his goal… even if it was difficult and he wanted to throw in the towel.

They took their seats at the table, full of bowls and dishes with different foods prepared by Shigeo-san, who took great pains to create healthy recipes (that he also would implement in his restaurant).

"The dishes on the table are completely adequate for your diet, healthy but delicious, Ai-chan," told Kotoko's father, "so you won't suffer and will eat what you like."

"In moderate portions," Naoki added.

His father sighed and nodded. "I feel so grateful for having this family," he said touched, with a smile.

Naoki felt comfortable having him back at home, away from danger, and with his company better. Around him, the others smiled.

"I'll recover to return to my normal life as soon as possible." He looked at his father, as a warning. "I'm not going to cross the line, Nao," he said. "But my place is with my company, they are my second family and I must be for them, understand it."

He nodded in affirmation, after sighing.

"I'll take the time easy, from now; you should know that I want to live to see my grandchildren and enjoy my retirement," he announced, making everyone laugh and clap before watching the dishes on the table. "Now, itadakimasu!"

Others repeated his words, and it seemed that calm had returned home, with everyone happy in the company of all.

He realized that you valued more things when you were about to lose them, and he did not want to repeat an experience like that. Fortunately, now all was going well; there was still the matter with Pandai, but he hoped to resolve it… or engage himself fully… everything depended on the outcome.

He directed short glances at his father and Kotoko.

He realized there were dreams and larger purposes within oneself. All aspirations could cohabit, only that there would be some with more weight, which were located in the first place than others. It was a hierarchy; certain things were more important to achieve than others were and maybe it was not a sacrifice to leave one behind if he stayed with another.

Just as he could not put first his father's company, agreeing to a marriage interview. Or medicine opposite…

He shook his head and decided to eat and enjoy; now, the most important thing was those there with him, and he should focus on it.

 **[…]**

The following days, even carrying his father's frustration, Naoki went to the company, continuing the work to which he committed, with the sole goal of reaching the first day of the holiday period and give the green light to the next challenges for Pandai.

He planned to stay there until the manga and anime club get along with the Pandai team (during the early spring) and begin the first work of their game. To his great amazement, they even were developing in anime; they were good entrepreneurs.

If all went well—which would happen, being optimistic—, in the summer holidays they would launch the game, coinciding with the sixth manga volume in the market.

By then, his father would be more involved and the employees to whom he would delegate, immersed in their tasks.

The office door opened while he did a few notes for some of the puzzles to people of higher intelligence; he looked to see who entered… probably Kotoko because nobody else dared to enter without calling.

He smiled ironically.

Indeed, his girlfriend went in with a series of papers in her hands, stopping on the other side of his father's desk.

"The exams for the end of the term are next week," she said in a demanding tone, looking at him from the little height difference they had.

Of course, he knew, and he mulled over the idea of different subjects from the program been taught at that time. He had talked to his teachers when he stopped attending a few weeks ago, asking them the opportunity to do the exams even with his absences.

What intrigued him was _her attitude_.

"Think of the people that will benefit from your dream. Do not let your purpose go to waste, you can delay the start of the semester, but don't lose an entire school year."

Hence, the reason for her attitude, he analyzed standing. Yet, he was surprised that she thought he could be so lightly about that. Although he considered he would take major decisions after the launch of the new game, he would still take evaluations; it would be silly not to do so.

She extended her arm with the papers she was carrying.

"Funatsu-san gave me copies of his notes," she said, even though he did not accept them, puzzled and more interested in her behavior.

"What?"

"He says it is not worth to be the first if he wins the battle because you stop competing. Give them a look, _that's all you need_." Was it sarcasm on her part?

He took the papers, looking at her.

"Kotoko," he pronounced, with a hint of doubt, reaching out to grab her wrist.

"I just came for this," she replied, turning without a proper goodbye, ignoring his hand.

He frowned, looking at the site where she was gone; she must be very upset thinking that he would abandon the medical career.

Noticing her reaction, he decided that, no matter what, he'd not leave the career. She was right; it had been wrong of him to forget his dream those last weeks, immersed in Pandai and the constant pressure. His brother would be responsible for the company in the future; also, things took a good course.

He sat down again and pushed aside the papers, which he would read after he ended what he was doing.

He hit the desk with the eraser of the pencil, a strange behavior for him, as well as his girlfriend's one.

 _She had refused his touch._

 **[…]**

Final exams of his first year of medical school, _for Naoki_ , were more extenuating by the lack of proper sleep and the light unbalancing of the school routine, than for their complicated content, which he had reviewed before. Funatsu annotations also served, as they filled in the blanks that might be in his head for the last lessons of the course.

His classmate was the kind of student who worked very hard to get what he wanted, studying for long hours; the competition with him for first place should be the purpose that moved him to continue, whether he really wanted the number one position. He admitted to himself now that Funatsu was worthy of greater recognition, but really it was a pity for the other that he did not require much effort to do things the way they should.

However, in their career was not worth to have the best notes; it was more important to acquire the skills necessary for the course of their profession. To do that, it was admirable the great effort that Funatsu could put.

At least, due to Naoki's lack of points of the practices of the third trimester, his classmate would have the opportunity to be in the first place, which Funatsu believed he was not worthy because he was not present.

"Until next year," he said to Funatsu, while the two kept their belongings. It was the last day of evaluations. "Good luck in your results, you deserve it," he admitted, hanging the bag over his shoulder.

The other seemed to stay as a statue after his words.

Naoki went away, calm, showing no improper attitude to his partner by his immobility.

When he reached the door, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Ah, Funatsu…" he spoke loudly, attracting his attention. " _Thank you_."

Then he continued his way straight to Pandai. He was in the home straight.

He left the building in a hurry; the routine of those days was waking up early to go to college, take the exams corresponding to the day and head to the company, where he stayed until it was late. He went home at night, straight to the little rest he could have.

It was a relief not to worry about college exams and be free to focus on activities that were taking place in the company. There, practically nothing was left; the games were distributed to the stores, and there were only matters of advertising to work with, mostly adjustments, as they weren't applying it well.

Polls had shown excitement to the game and they had won the element of surprise to other companies, whose promotional weren't out yet. The only focal point was what Pandai had to offer. They went well.

His other pending matters were the immersion of the club members—who would arrive that day to Pandai, finished exams for them too—, and other superficial details of the games to develop in the future. They were already planning some of them in sketches, and they had some ideas of action figures based on the videos.

People in the toy factory were aware of that and the movement was at a good pace, to hold until his father returned in mid-April.

"I'm glad to see you took all the exams." He winced a little when Kotoko positioned himself beside him, forcing his feet to stop.

She looked at him, nodding to herself, with a serious look.

 _What was happening to her?_

He heard her sigh. "I was worried that you didn't take them," she said, and her mouth slightly curved into a smile, but he felt it different, strange.

He was confused. "Kotoko?"

"You'll have to go to Pandai, I don't want to interrupt. I have an exam." She shook her head and took direction to the Social Department.

He frowned, looking at the dwarfing figure of his girlfriend. Lately, he had not seen her, because they didn't coincide during breakfast and she had stopped attending Pandai to concentrate on her tests, and at night, she was already asleep.

He continued shaking his head and thinking of the activities to do; Kotoko could wait, _her behavior could be caused by school affairs_.

She always acted differently with exams.

 **[…]**

"I'm already here."

Naoki, along with the people in the room, raised their eyes.

"Kotorin!" Chorused her club's fellows, while the employees of Pandai sighed, knowing what was coming.

Kotoko would be there during the holidays; although she was not good at what she did in Pandai, because it was practically a different thing from what she used to do, she served as a source of inspiration and support for those present.

She also wanted to help his father, he had heard the day before.

"Hello." She waved her hand, making a small smile. "I was at the game store mall a few blocks and there are no games left."

He nodded, pleased with the news. It was the first day of sales and they didn't have all the reports, but he wished the similar results with the other stores.

Pandai young developers slapped palms, smiling, before engaging with the designs presented by college students; surprisingly, and fortunately, one of them was a fan of the manga.

He looked at what others did and returned his attention to his girlfriend; amazed, he noticed she was gone.

He rose from the couch and went to the door, peeking out to see where she had gone, and in a stealthy way.

In the hallway, he saw her with Matsumoto. The tall girl had requested the opportunity to practice there during the holidays to gain knowledge of the branch.

He looked at them and realized that cordiality prevailed in the body postures of both, especially his girlfriend, who before didn't look very comfortable in the company of Matsumoto.

That seemed to have _changed_.

He sighed, he couldn't know what had both done at that time disconnected from his usual world; he could only bet that most shocking was Kotoko.

"Naoki-san?"

He turned to the occupants of the room and went back to his seat, concentrating his interest in the meeting… though many times he felt out of place among the six, whose jargon escaped from his vocabulary.

That was what entailed to be the link. The good news was that, soon, he would leave them alone.

While observing the drawing of Kotorin greeting the "Musketeers", he noticed a particular detail… Kotoko didn't talk specifically to him moments before.

He frowned.

"Something is wrong?" Minagawa-san asked and he denied, changing his gesture, hiding his bewilderment on the other issue.

 _Leaving it for another moment._

 **[…]**

On Saturday, after being in Pandai until noon, Naoki entered Fugukichi to take lunch, on his way to the library to find a couple of books for the next year in his career.

"Naoki, so good to see," greeted his father-in-law, from the other side of the bar, which was occupied completely. "Let me take you to a table," he offered, putting the rag he was carrying to his shoulder.

He shook his head in a slight deny. "Do not worry, Oji-san, I'll take a seat."

"Then, I'll tell Kinnosuke to take your order in a few moments." He sighed, but nodded; at least there, Kotoko's father would save him from receiving a lower portion.

He sat at one of the tables in the corner and, while he waited, he checked his emails on his mobile phone. That day of the Mimosa—as in Japan appointed the day for women of the United Nations—, the theme of equality for women for the progress of both sexes had made him receive a large number of reflections in his mail, much of which he had not finished reading even having started very early.

"Dad said you were here and that we occupied your table because the restaurant is full." He put his phone in his pocket when he heard Kotoko's voice in the bustle of the local; he raised his eyes, thinking of the use of the plural in her phrase.

His eyes met first with his girlfriend, who used a pink sweater under some overalls, and then he looked at her side, where a blonde girl, clearly foreign, watched at him.

She had crystal blue eyes and used a pink scarf that stood in her dark clothing, which, in turn, contrasted with her snow-white skin.

"She is Christine Robbins, she comes from England," Kotoko said, pointing to the young blonde. "He's Irie Naoki."

He nodded.

"Nice to meet you."

She remained silent. His girlfriend frowned, looking at the girl.

"Chris?" she called. " _You don't understand the words?_ " she asked in slow English. Kotoko set her eyes on him. "She said she came to Japan to study language at our university. She came ahead of time for several months."

" _Nice to meet you, Christine Robbins,_ " he pronounced in the native language of the girl, who did not seem to listen again.

Was the girl somewhat distracted as his girlfriend? He did not get an explanation from Kotoko because she looked puzzled.

Kotoko moved a hand in front of the girl, who blinked. "I'm in love," she said in rudimentary Japanese after a long sigh. "I've meet… met the man of my life," she completed with some difficulty, still smiling.

His girlfriend squinted looking at him and he mimicked the gesture, but more intrigued by her reaction to the words of the girl. _She was very calm_.

"With him?" Kotoko pointed at him.

" _Hey?_ " The English girl blinked, focusing her stunned eyes at Kotoko. " _No,_ _he's not. And you said you had a boyfriend named Naoki? You're her boyfriend, right?_ " she asked him in her language.

He nodded.

" _I have better taste, no offense to you_ ," said the girl, without causing him discomfort; he was rather relieved for not having her interest. However, something else confused him, Kotoko's attitude.

"So, who do you love?" Kotoko replied, calmly, causing him more perplexity. Where was the reaction she had with Koujiro and Matsumoto?

"He, that handsome and manly man." His girlfriend narrowed her eyes, looking over his shoulder. "The one approaching this table."

"Kin-chan?" Naoki gaped, giving his attention to the blonde. Did she just refer to Ikezawa as handsome and manly?

She needed to have her vision checked if she had that impression.

He let out a snort.

"Kin-chan?" Robbins repeated. "That's his name?"

"Yes, Ikezawa Kinnosuke," Kotoko smiled, as she had not done until then, "and he's a charming guy, a great friend, loyal and honest; we studied together and he works for my father."

"He's not that important," he opined, through gritted teeth.

"He's sincere and devoted, which makes him a good boy," protested Kotoko, looking at Robbins, who nodded with a smile.

"What can I offer you?" The voice of Ikezawa served to irritate him more, after hearing the words of his girlfriend and the way she had said them, especially because she seemed very comfortable with the arrival cook… even more pleasant than she had been with him.

Was something happening or was he imagining things?

"A boyfriend," Robbins said, in Japanese.

"Ah? What did you say?" The black-haired looked frowning at the English girl, stressing his Kansai accent. "Kotoko, did I misunderstand your friend?"

"No," said Robbins. "I've say… said… that a boyfriend. Will… Would you be my boyfriend, Kin-chan?" she asked, bluntly, very determined.

He was pleased to see the astonishment that crossed the face of the scandalous guy before he reddened and gapped repeatedly. Kotoko laughed.

"What?!" Ikezawa cried, and covered his mouth looking at other clients. "What's wrong with you? I don't like you. I don't even know you. Are you crazy?"

His girlfriend laughter subsided.

"But it serve to get to know us, Kin-chan. I'm Christine, and I know you're the man I will marry."

Kotoko placed a hand on the shoulder of blond, deadpan, while the dark-haired's face showed different emotions.

"Chris… don't you think…?"

"No, I know what I want," punctuated the blonde, smiling sweetly at Ikezawa. "And I will fight for it."

Then she stood and walked to the bar, where Shigeo-san gathered a few dishes, to talk to him. She earned a stunned look, but interested in his father-in-law. What was she saying?

"Where did you get that girl, Kotoko? Is her mind okay?" Ikezawa asked, directing surreptitious glances at the blonde, who was still talking to his boss.

Kotoko shrugged with a thoughtful expression.

"Anyway. What are you ordering?" Asked calmly Ikezawa, increasing his intrigue. Was it an act? Where was the proclamation of the other to his girlfriend? His animosity directed at him? "By the way, Kotoko, the game you recommended me weeks ago, launched this week, I enjoyed it." Ikezawa looked at him. "I must admit, Irie, it was good to sell it before, I would not have bought it if I had seen more on the shelves."

Ikezawa was being nice to him? That much had happened in his absence?

The cook coughed. "What do you want?"

Barely paying attention, he ordered; Kotoko said what she wanted, smiling at his friend.

He had an uneasy feeling inside, which he previously recognized as jealousy… _plus something else_. But it was impossible, even the black-haired was not provoking and looked like a normal young; it was Kotoko who, in his face, was giving too much attention to the boy… after several days in which she seemed rare and distant with him.

Was there something in those weeks that he didn't hear?

The blonde reappeared, cutting his thoughts slightly. He was interested in her efforts for Ikezawa; maybe he'd finally separate Ikezawa from his girlfriend.

"I have a new job," she announced clapping. "Here!"

Ikezawa, more than he and Kotoko, showed a huge surprise. "What?"

"If we will know each other, I have to spend time with you. Don't you think Kin-chan?" she explained, shrugging.

"Boss!" Ikezawa cried, going away.

"I prove what you bring me!" Robbins added, aloud.

He could have laughed like Kotoko if he wasn't worried by her attitude towards him.

It was a pity that after eating, she went out with the other girl to show the city, _ignoring him_.

 **[…]**

A few days after the incident at the restaurant, with Kotoko _seemingly_ back to normal, Naoki was in the mall near Pandai, thinking that behind it all was something strange about his girlfriend.

He could not deny—as his brother had said—, that in some moments she was very quiet; but it only occurred after receiving her notes. She had to repeat the test on the signs a week before the classes started, so she didn't take the course once again.

Naoki guessed that her subdued attitude could be due to her results, especially when his condition was not to fail; though he would not deny that he had the slightest suspicion that something else was happening there, after observing her as much as an object of study and knowing her over the nearly two years they had together. He had watched her many times, in different facets, and he noticed there was something about her that prevented her from being completely quiet.

Perhaps he would make time to help her with her impending test, which he already knew all the signs, the basics she had to know for the exam. He had seen her do them properly in mid-January… _maybe at the time of the testing the nervousness broke her down and prevented her of doing them appropriately_.

Within two weeks, if he could, he would depart completely of his father's company; he was doing it gradually, for the moment, but just until then he'd have enough time to help her. However, she would have to prepare before for the test, and his freedom coincided with the week of Kotoko's evaluation.

That meant he had to make room in his schedule for the next few days, before her exam.

At least, she had stopped attending Pandai to focus on her practicing, even if it left a wave of nostalgia in some of the workers, despite how happy they were with her departure, for the benefits of her absence.

He curled a little smile, looking through the window of a video game's store, corroborating that a teenager took the last box exposed to the public.

Things were going well; he could be as optimistic as Kotoko in that.

He moved on to another shop in the mall and saw several men walking with gift bags. Looking for a reason, he thought about the day and realized that on Friday, three days from now, would be March 14, hence the reason for the presents—tradition.

Later he'd pass to a candy store to buy a bag for Kotoko, recalling that in the midst of his stress, she appeared in Pandai to bring him some chocolates, though it wasn't as much as the massage she gave him at the time. Her hands, with some abruptness, took away much of the tension in his shoulders.

Candies and help in her study would be appropriate to repay her. Ostentatious gifts—as his mother seemed to think—were not like him… and it would mean something that he went out and picked something for her, when he would not have done it normally.

He thought about the other thing that came to his head… that Kotoko could be staying away during the recent events in Pandai, so he could concentrate, but… he admitted that he missed her presence, her good spirits were…

His phone rang as he stopped in front of the video game store. He answered absent-mindedly, staring inside the store.

"Sato-san? Yes, they are good news," he replied, thinking back to Pandai.

 **[…]**

Naoki felt pleased to see the happy mood in his living room, while his father celebrated the call he had just received from Sato-san. In the call, his father's secretary had told Naoki about the weekend reports of sales, ten days after launching the game, which was a total success in the market, to the extent they required those in store, planned for next month. In the next week there would be on sale more new games, but they already had a clear advantage.

"I'll communicate with Sato, son. He will manage the company today, you deserve a day off," said his father, taking out his phone with a big smile; the others at the table applauded, without paying much attention to the breakfast.

He could not have started better his Friday; with a success achieved and a battle won. He could go back to his regular days without the pressure of his father's work, so much tiring with what had been happening lately.

He leaned back in his chair, feeling calm, and then took some rice of his breakfast, glad.

It was amazing, it had been the most stressful weeks of his life and he could take a break.

He'd return to his usual life again, back to some mishaps and the situations not so controlled, to which he felt comfortable, because they were part of his every day than the events after his father's threat of heart attack.

He allowed himself to smile, listening to his father talk lively with his secretary—and others paying attention—, noting the considerable improvement; days before he looked a little downcast, as a result of his time in the hospital and his health. Reluctantly, his father had been adapting to changes, and the modification of his diet and the exercise had its effects… if he counted the reduction of his breaks to breath, compared to before.

He could allow that excitement in his father, because he was happy and he wasn't making great efforts; also, because fats on his body had been declining and the examinations of three days before had shown remarkable differences from the past, so it was clear he was taking seriously his recovery.

However, the different faces of Kotoko began to occupy a large part of his mind and gave him something else to think of.

 _What was wrong with her?_


	29. The oppression of the unknown

**Chapter 29**

 **The oppression of the unknown**

* * *

When breakfast was over, Naoki spent some time lying in his bed, with his eyes closed, resting his body and mind after working for so long.

He didn't know if he actually dozed off, but his attention to reality came back when he heard his mother and Yuuki talking in the room, forcing him to open his eyes, wondering what were they doing there, since his brother had his own bedroom on the lower floor.

"Yuuki, come on, give Konomi-chan white chocolate for today, she gave you a friend's chocolate on Valentine's Day."

"That's her problem, Mom," replied his brother.

The conversation of both reminded him of the day. He had his candies for Kotoko in his drawer; he had bought those he saw that she ate repeatedly.

He leaned against the palm of his right hand, his elbow on the pillow.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

They gave their attention to him after a small shock.

"Yuuki thought he could hide here, but Mom is not tricked," their mother said with a proud smile on her face, pointing in their direction.

His brother was a rookie, he thought funny. Yet he ignored that of her not being tricked, at least in his case; sometimes he could be one-step ahead of his mother, who surely didn't expect some things from him.

"I just want him to accept Konomi-chan as a friend, oniichan," explained his mother, raising a tablet of white chocolate wrapped in clear plastic, accompanied by a pink bow. "Konomi-chan gave him chocolate on Valentine; she wants to be your friend."

"She'll be when she stops being so silly," said his brother, crossing his arms. "She's the worst in the class. The only thing she can do is knit."

"But she is very sweet; I bet that, if you accept her as a friend, she'll give you something made by her, as she does with the people important to her."

"Who wants something made by her?" Yuuki snapped, leaving the room with a scowling face.

"You should leave him," he reccomended with a sigh, sitting on the bed. "If he wants to be her friend, he'll do it in his own time", he commented, thinking that thanks to her insistence with Yuuki, he wouldn't admit that he cared for his classmate and wanted to be her friend. Once, he had seen him curious and smiling looking at the knitted flower in the living room.

With her mother's meddling, it was quite possible that Yuuki refused to approach the girl voluntarily, at least in the two years they had left at the school. Perhaps he would decide to do it too late.

"Oh, but if I don't give him a push Konomi-chan illusions will break, and I don't want to see such a sweet person hurt because of my child."

"And what about Yuuki's opinion?"

"I know where his interest is, oniichan, I'm just trying to give him a push."

He raised his eyebrows, half-surprised, half-ironic.

"Doesn't that pushes him to the other direction?" he asked, intrigued.

"Maybe, but that makes him have her present in his head and think about his feelings. And eventually it'll come out into the open, _with or without my meddling_ , oniichan. _In addition_ , insisting is my way to understand what he feels," she mused aloud, and he shrugged, without understanding.

Perhaps she just tried to justify her acts. Often, her behavior, beyond irritating and amazing, was incomprehensible, although it seemed obvious.

"What did you buy for Kotoko?" she asked in a singsong tone.

He would not inquire how she knew he had bought something for his girlfriend for White Day.

"I'll be behind you until I know, oniichan," threatened his mother, pointing at him.

He sighed. "It's not relevant," he replied, dryly.

She sat on the bed, settling with her arms crossed and arching the corner of her mouth in a smile that hit a nerve.

He put a hand in his forehead, shaking his head, and then walked to the dresser to get his book and read for a while.

However, she remained there, all the time he was engrossed in his Pharmacology's reading.

"Lunch is more than ready and I could order dinner in delivery. _I have all day_."

"And Yuuki?" he asked loudly, cursing himself for having cut her persecution of his brother.

"I know he will be in the living room, drawing the flower that I have there… until he dares to show it to his future friend."

He gritted his teeth so he didn't open his mouth, and eyes, from the shock… Was there anything beyond her control? He started to believe it was true that of not being tricked.

"You really don't know what did I buy?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

She refused, raising her hand in oath.

Was she going to say she had her limits? He should fear that she had cameras following him all the time, because he was one hundred percent sure that in this house she had no surveillance system.

"Candy," he said after a long sigh, because he feared she would not surrender and would follow him even when he gave them to Kotoko; that was worse than having to admit to her that he bought something following the tastes of his girlfriend.

His mother opened her eyes and put a hand to her chin.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, leaning back to him with her elbows on her knees.

He raised an eyebrow, he knew perfectly the meaning the candies had for that day; "I like you"; it was in the public domain.

She shrugged and nodded, standing. "Kotoko-chan is in the library," she said before leaving his bedroom, humming to herself.

He sighed; he knew that Kotoko would be practicing her sign language.

He took out the small bag with candies from the drawer and headed for the door; then, he walked the space that separated his room from the other, in front of his.

Naoki went in without knocking; inside, he saw Kotoko, standing in the middle of the room, eyes closed, practicing the members of the family, unaware she had company.

He walked to her and placed the bag of candies on the table, holding in his hands her thin and soft fingers, correcting her signal of grandfather.

She froze and opened her eyes. Then she smiled slightly, nodding in appreciation.

"Continue," he instructed, sitting in front of her to have the level to correct her.

Kotoko looked at him with her head bowed and nodded when he repeated his words. However, her eyes caught the bag on the desk.

"Are they for me?" she asked pointing with her left hand, jingling the bracelet on her wrist, which had new small trinkets due to his mother.

He nodded and she watched for a moment the clear cellophane bag to open it seconds later and take a cherry candy.

"Thanks," she said before starting the repetition of the language, in the order of the testing.

Naoki made the modifications she needed, practicing with her. They were interrupted only by lunch, after which they retired to continue.

He knew his mother had learned quickly the signs and helped Kotoko, but she lacked the demand that he put, thanks to which her personal effort increased.

In general, she seemed to be doing well, although he did not understand fully how she failed assessment, watching her performance.

She must have been very distracted or nervous back then.

"You'll do it well," he said aloud, pausing as she took one of the candy from the bag.

"Naoki-kun, do you like me?" She asked suddenly focusing her large orbs on him, doubt on her face.

 _'Do you like me?'_ Naoki repeated in his mind.

"What kind of question is that?" he muttered, uncomfortable of having to talk about it. It should be very clear then, because he accepted her around him and was comfortable with her company, without changing her.

Naoki sighed when he saw her wince, for some reason.

He looked away, feeling his face grew a little temperature.

"I like you," he let her know, expressing it aloud for the first time.

"What do you like about me?" she demanded in a low tone. He tensed, mostly because she wanted him to say it in words, not because he had nothing to say.

"Is this an interrogation?" He spluttered, his eyes staring at her.

She denied and made a tiny smile, repositioning a hair behind her ear.

A few minutes passed in silence, in which he watched her enjoying her candy, making different faces with the flavors that came to her palate, which could entertain him perfectly. He was okay with it.

But when she accentuated her lips with her eyes closed, by the acidity of the candy in her mouth, he smirked before leaning down and placing a kiss, silencing her soft gasp of surprise when he catch her lips. He turned away for a second and kissed the corner of her mouth, cocking his head to kiss her properly, imprisoning her lips and sucking them with dedication. He savored a sweet trail that he could only accept coming from her, giving her a kiss after months without doing so. He missed it.

He was eager to take her in his arms and captured her mouth, as someone who had a long time without something he desired, exactly like he felt… He just wanted to remember the feel of her in his, taking pleasure from her and the lips he discovered he liked a long ago, which he realized was unable to put them aside for another period.

He was at home, where others could come, but the need to kiss her, seeing her protruding lips, made him fall into that temptation… one he would not have believed before.

Breathing hard, he separated his mouth from her and placed light kisses on her jaw, moving his lips to her neck and his hands in her small back, the right from her waist to her head. He outlined her spine with the tip of his index, being satisfied with her shudder, an imitation of the chill in his body when she slid her fingers on his discovered neck.

He inhaled and exhaled sharply, placing his chin on her head; she trembled beneath him. He squeezed her eyes, breathing deeply to calm his senses and not go back to her mouth; doing so would take his body into a different dimension, where his tension would increase and encourage him to ease his frustration.

Kotoko moved away from him and he opened his eyes to see her moving her notebook and her book, collecting the candy bag.

"Naoki-kun," she whispered, without seeing him. "I love you."

He nodded without her looking at him. "I know."

"Do you love me?"

His body froze, with no idea what to say. She had never asked for it and it took him by surprise. He didn't have a favorable response. He liked her a lot, but… she was asking him for something that he had no answer. He… didn't even…

She smiled at him in a different way and, in silence, all he heard was the sound of the door closing.

He sat there, stunned.

 **[…]**

After dinner, Naoki stayed a few minutes alone in the kitchen, thinking about what happened with Kotoko. He did like her, and maybe a lot, but he doubted that in the way she wanted. He didn't even think he could be in love.

He didn't show an emotion so intense and compelling like that. Her question caused him conflict because she hoped that, for the first time, he answered her, and he really couldn't lie saying that _he loved her_ ; it would be very cruel of him, almost as if he wanted to manipulate her that way, to make her be as he wanted, which was…

He put a hand to his hair, bringing to _the present_ —in his conscience—his past purpose… his plan when they became a couple, almost two years ago. Since when hadn't he repeated it as motivation for his actions and his relationship with her?

When he started to like her? Or when he started to _know Kotoko_ and paid real interest in her, after he saw what she did for him?

And it couldn't be any other way, because, how would he forget it with his memory?

He felt the signs of migraine and stood to go to his room. Along the way, he tried to calm the discomfort in his temples, rubbing his fingers to relieve his head.

He stopped for a moment in front of Kotoko's door and raised his fist to knock, but his hand stopped before doing so, without understanding why his body led him to do that, if he had nothing to say. He doubted he had the right words to justify seeing her, because it was clear for him that she would not wish to see him at the moment—he was also sure that, for now, it was the best.

He slowly opened his fingers and lowered his arm, turning to continue his way to his bedroom, where he laid and looked at the cream-colored ceiling, hoping that the conflicting feelings inside would settle down.

 **[…]**

Naoki went out early on Sunday, after a day worse than stormy, with thousands of thoughts in his head. Kotoko's words kept repeating on his mind, and also, she didn't pay him attention the scarce times he saw her in the late afternoon.

She avoided his eyes, which he found difficult to accept, but he understood why she did, even if it caused irritation and frustration. He was confused too, because he shouldn't consider it, and he was doing it.

He put his hands in his pockets, watching the bare trees that in a couple of weeks would begin to bloom, even if they had leaves after the fall in autumn. Stations began to fade slowly and the beginning of spring seemed to be more advanced than before.

He breathed the morning air and laid his eyes on the ground to not crash into anyone, but also to not watch the dawn rising. He could not watch it now and he didn't know why.

"Irie demon."

Naoki tensed listening to Ikezawa. He looked up to find him in front of him, carrying some vegetables, probably to the restaurant. The cook had the stony face.

He sighed.

"I don't have time for you," he said, deadpan.

"When I started to doubt about you…," mumbled the other, wrinkling his nose.

He frowned, fixing his eyes on Ikezawa's face.

"What do you mean?" he snapped. The only thing he could be talking about was his girlfriend.

Ikezawa blinked and his face turned red. "You showed me that I wasn't wrong about you. Now I'll really fight for Kotoko."

"Stop…"

"I know it was very ridiculous to follow her constantly," Ikezawa interrupted, "but it was worth to realize things and to show that you don't deserve her…"

"Shut up," he cut gritting his teeth, stepping to threaten Ikezawa; he could end up beating him, for opening his mouth and saying those words, stupid and unnecessary, _but possible_.

"Now I'll really fight for Kotoko, I'll take the opportunity that I have now to make her happy."

"What are you talking about?" Had Kotoko spoken to him the day before? Had she relied on Ikezawa revealing issues that concerned both? Was it a sign that his relationship with her, as he said, was in danger?

"Stupid genius," Ikezawa said, walking away.

Naoki stared at him and walked aimlessly, amid a torrent of words hovering over him.

Along with the real threat of losing her.

 **[…]**

Naoki pushed the front door of his home without strength and went in, almost dragging his feet after hours of walking.

He changed his shoes and thought about going for a drink.

"Oh, Nao," his father came out of the kitchen, "Mom could not reach you and left with Yuuki this morning to the Isshiki house."

He stopped with the words of his father, following him to the studio, where he was going.

His father sat behind the desk and picked up the book there, depositing the glass of water in one corner.

As if responding to his concerns, he had met with him just coming back home.

"Just mom and Yuuki?" he asked, advancing to occupy an empty seat at the desk. He knew the answer, but made the question; his father had an interesting relationship with his mother's family, as they were special with the couples of their members.

His father looked over the edge of his book, in which he marked the page to attend him

"Yes, Kotoko didn't go. I didn't either because on Friday I received an invitation for a meal with Oizumi-san, for today." He raised an eyebrow in response. "Mr. Sato will accompany me; I will met the man and talk."

"Otōsan," he said gravely.

"No." His father raised a hand, "I'm fine; Pandai is the work of my life and I don't want to stay here, I'll take it easy. Moreover, you won't keep taking care of Dad, when it should be the opposite. _Nao_ , I know you care for me, but you must follow your dream," he said excitedly.

Naoki cleared his throat.

"About that," he licked his lower lip uneasily, "Dad… aren't you upset?"

His father frowned, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Why?"

"I realized that… I did not wait for your approval of the condition to enroll to study medicine."

He only made presented her and took it as if he had gained full acceptance.

"I had no consideration had your desires…"

"Naoki…" whispered his father.

"And…" He swallowed, preparing himself for the words of disappointment from his father; but he could not handle the load of lying to him, because that was what he did. "I confess that Kotoko and I talked for the first time the day after our conversation," he said honestly, looking away.

"You made her your girlfriend the next day?" Hearing it from another person sounded very bad, especially when he did not say his thoughts about it, maybe the same as his.

"Yes," he admitted, biting the inside of his cheek.

"I already knew it," his father declared.

He opened his eyes wide, looking back at his father.

"What?" he whispered, feeling strange.

"I let it go because I liked her… and because mom told me that, _although I noticed it too_ , the way you looked at her changed and that your choice, driven by me, had been good."

"How did you?"

"Mom and her game of spies," explained his father, laughing softly. "And you studying medicine, the condition, well, it wasn't my intention to pressure you, I just wanted to see how your answered… because until then you showed no interest in anything else… and," he cleared his throat, wiping his glasses in his gesture of discomfort, "I kept hoping that it made you take back your intentions and decide on Pandai." His father sighed. "But I needed to understand that you deserve the opportunity to go for your own dream and fight for it, rather than impose my own, with my desires, and let you find your passion."

Naoki blinked in disbelief, watching his father, who rose from his place.

"I'll get ready. Mom left a cooked meal for dinner." Naoki stared at him until he stopped the door. "And Nao, thank you for what you've done, but you have to live your life."

With that, his father left the studio.

He sprawled out in his chair and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling.

He wouldn't have believed that his father knew the whole truth from the beginning, nor that his mother had that knowledge. Both hid it so well, looking through his behavior of perfidious intentions… intentions he wanted to convince himself were worth and, above all, he believed acceptable.

 _'His great plan':_ have a girlfriend for selfish purposes; expect to manipulate someone else's life when it bothered him in his case… Not considerate Kotoko's feelings in the situation, because she cared for him then and she loved him now, and he only began his relationship thinking that she would be easy to manipulate at his will, to fulfill a condition…

Now all of it seemed so stupid and mean of him to think. _What kind of person was he?_

He thought and acted as if he were an omnipotent God, to whom others could be beings that do and undo at his will, not hearing their opinions. From his perspective back then, it seemed so right, but today… _he felt ashamed of himself_.

How could he have thought that he could control someone else? _Someone_ that just had shown him her unconditional loyalty and constant and several samples of his importance to her… while he had dark motives and behaved like someone abominable, justifying his actions with an idiocy.

It was so foolish to make Kotoko his girlfriend the way he did, with the intentions he had…

And now she was someone very important to him, to the point he didn't want to drive her away for a moment in which he was speechless and didn't know how to act, taken by surprise. A moment in which he gave little thought to her feelings with his lack of response, not of words but of deeds.

She _loved_ him, and for some time; his lack of response might have made her feel terribly wrong; she should be in a state of suffering, nearly two years together and he didn't show an iota of consideration for what she had said.

His hand went to his mouth, suddenly dry.

Kotoko shouldn't find out the cause of their relationship. _Never_. It would be devastating for her, it'd destroy her; this time, he was certain (and the past words of his mother would be true). Something like that should not happen; he did not want to damage her, more than he might have already done in their relationship.

He didn't know what was going on inside him, but his father had said that the way he looked at her had changed—an external thing—; so it could be that he loved her but didn't realize it.

The first thing he had to do was to solve their last conversation and remain with her. Although he'd not tell her he loved her, because he wasn't sure, but he should make her understand that she was important for him.

He left the studio to the silent house and walked at a rapid pace, almost running in the stairs, until he reach the front of her room, to which he called.

"Kotoko," he said, tapping the wood with his knuckles. 'I want to talk to you'. "Kotoko!" he repeated. His heart leaped in his chest and his breathing was in an abnormal rhythm. "Open!"

He did not hear noise on the other side, but his energy was stronger and made him open, to find an empty place.

He cursed himself, snorting out. He went to the library, also empty.

She should not be at home. Where could she be?

Would she be in his father's restaurant? With her friends? With Ikezawa?

He clenched his hands into fists. He could not be jealous now, even with the other's words; Ikezawa had nothing with Kotoko, who, thanks to luck, still had him fondness. He should appreciate that, vowing not to jeopardize what they both had… it could be kept if he heeded instinct and not his head, because it was the first that had done well in their relationship.

He left the library and found his bedroom door ajar. He got upset because his mother or his brother, in an effort to find him, left it opened.

He exhaled, entering his room, thinking where could he find…?

"Kotoko," he said with relief, finding her sitting on the edge of his bed. She had her head down and wiggled her toes, covered in pink socks.

She looked up and then moved her gaze toward the window.

"I was looking for you," he said, approaching her at a slow pace, suddenly unable to speak. He had nothing prepared; he had only decided to see her… because… he wanted to… he needed to erase her saddened eyes.

And ask forgiveness, for being incapable of considering her and for his stupid plan.

( _The great plan_ should have never happen in first place, but he didn't regret it because it lead him to interact with her, when otherwise he'd have rejected the true contact between them until it was too late—in the meantime he'd have committed numerous errors, especially with the idea that relationships didn't deserve attention.)

He'd ask forgiveness for not having an answer to his feelings. For his mistakes.

 _Because he owed it to her_.

He licked his lips and stood in front of her, his eyes meeting her delicate profile.

He swallowed and opened his mouth without letting out a sound. It was difficult to mutter _two words_ that could mean a lot.

"I'm sorry," he pronounced for the first time, saying it sincerely, hoping his voice was able to express the true remorse he felt, even if he could not say the reasons, present in his head.

Kotoko turned her face to him, her eyes wide.

* * *

 **AN:** _This chapter was difficult,_ please _, tell me if this is understandable. Mostly Naoki's thoughts._


	30. A part of the soul

**AN: Not explicit, but there's a sexual part from the beginning to "Naoki-kun".**

* * *

 **Chapter 30**

 **A part of the soul**

* * *

"Nao…"

Naoki put his face close to Kotoko and kissed her, silencing her, with the desire to convey her importance to him and the hidden meaning of the 'I'm sorry'. He was short of words; all that could come out of his mouth was that he was sorry. Sincerely.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and clung to him, cocking her face in an angle that allowed him to kiss her more deeply; he devoured her lips before claiming the inside of her mouth, tingling his skin and making him squeeze her waist.

The blood in his veins felt warm from the sensations she caused him and the immensity of something behind their actions.

He broke away for air and saw her lips swollen from his kisses. She breathed as excited as he did. He sat on the bed and took her in his arms to have comfort, putting her very close to his body and kissing her as he hadn't done previously; he was allowing himself to be carried away completely, to give her a part of him so that she knew she was important to him.

His hands slid through Kotoko's body and one of them slipped under her pajama blouse, burning at the contact with her warm skin, while she brought her fingers to his face and hair, leaving a series of tingles with the touch of her fingertips.

His body tensed of excitement and he put his mouth on the corner of her lips, delighted to hear a groan from her body.

Kotoko tasted like peach; her face had a slight smell of that fruit, with the combination of flowers and her natural scent, which caused a wave of sensations in him.

He began leaving a trail of kisses on her neck, finding in his way a lock of her silken hair; he moved it aside with one finger, opening his eyes.

That way he noticed time and place. His bedroom was the least suited place to this exchange, although if it was his way, he'd sent decorum to hell and continued what his excited body wanted.

Hating himself, he placed his hands over hers in his hair, to separate her. He heard the sound of his own breathing in the bedroom, blended with continuous gulps air from her.

"No," protested his girlfriend, shaking her head. Her eyes widened and showed her cloudy orbs.

"Kotoko," he muttered in a hoarse and uncomfortable voice, holding her chin with his fingers. "We are in…"

"I know," she cut, reducing the distance between them, making it difficult to fight the temptation she presented to him. He desired her, he had been feeling it for some time, but he would not encourage her to go farther, just because he wanted it.

"Koto…"

"No," she complained, releasing her wrists and wrapping her arms around his neck, clinging to him with her chest expanding and contracting erratically. "Or you don't…?"

"Don't you dare to finish that sentence," he broke her whisper, his voices still hoarse. She must have been unaware that beneath her body it was clear what she caused.

"Then… _why_?" she replied, complicating the situation.

"The moment is not…" Kotoko kissed him for a second and fixed her gaze on his eyes. He saw her expression seemed determined and he swore to himself, venturing to her mouth, deciding he could let his desires dominate this time and respond to the demand that she made.

If she wanted it as much as him.

On that occasion, his lips were less demanding or frenzied, devoting himself to kiss her carefully, marking a rhythm with her, who sighed repeatedly with her hands going under his wool coat and shirt. She groped for his abdomen shakily, stroking and tickling. Waves of heat were sent with her touch, causing him to hiss at her shoulder, where he put his tongue, making her shiver.

With slow movements, he moved up her upper garment, making appear her stomach, in which he outlined the tiny scar from her operation. Gradually, her lower chest came to view until his eyes met with her excited breast—without the barrier of the bra—, which he didn't touch until she had no blouse.

Salivating and breathing in agitation, he looked at her flushed face as his hands traced the outline of her breasts, reaching the rosy tips; he outlined them with his fingertips, feeling his shudders accompanied by the fire that burned in his hands. She was soft and warm, _perfect for him_.

Piercing her with his gaze, Naoki invited her to stand, and then their clothes started disappearing, losing modesty together and getting used to be in the shared nudity, something new for both.

His eyes stared at her whole avidly, covering every part of her with longing and worship, keeping in his mind every part of her, thanking his mind for it…, but it was only a second, because his gaze focused on her eyes, shining bright.

Some kind of nervousness took place within him and he took the hand of Kotoko, flushed, squeezing it between his own hand. He neared her to one side of the bed, where he ran the eiderdown to invite her to lie down, after that he kneeled next to his forgotten pants, pulling out the contraception in his wallet.

He went back to her—to the pleasant sight, she between his sheets—, and took his place on the bed, staring into her eyes before joining again their lips; hers responded to his touch. It was slow motion, as if all the time in the outside world belonged to them.

His hands ran in Kotoko's body and it wrapped him a sort of intoxication. It made him see that no dream did justice to reality and that he could memorize all the words in the dictionary, but could not find a way to describe that moment.

Naoki let his instinct guide him and kissed her with ardor, while a strange and new, but welcome sense of pleasure, filled him. It had no point of comparison.

He savored her and stroked her leisurely. Their breaths accelerated and groans of both filled his ears; he was wrapped in a torrent of sensations, caressing her fully with his palms, marking places with his fingertips until their bodies meet and lead to movements that overflowed him, in the midst of the running of his heart, crazy in his chest.

Leaning on his forearms, he moved his hips repeatedly, with his members sweaty and his forehead moistened in the contact with hers. Her eyes opened and closed with the rocking of his body and gasps escaped her swollen lips.

He etched each part of her rosy face on his memory and squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips on hers, still moving, increasing the speed he moved.

A burning filled every part of his body and shudders ran in the places where Kotoko slid her fingers and pressed her fingernails when they joined. His chest could burst from so much _happening inside him_ , so strong that it consumed him.

Too fast and intense, the culmination came close and he made an attempt so she could meet it with him. He touched her intimately again, through clenched teeth, feeling that his whole body trembled continuously, sweating and beating, and that his eyes lost their sense of reality, immersed in the tension and the pleasure that subjugated him inside.

A wave of heat too deep hit him, and with a few hip movements, between palpitations, he let go, gasping; something that Kotoko mimicked moments after, still in the midst of a haze of ecstasy.

He made an effort to rest on his forearms remaining above he and with her, and contacted their foreheads, breathing agitated and with his heart dancing quickly.

She, also accelerated, looked at him with glazed eyes and parted lips, panting and swollen by his kisses.

It was the best picture to have fixed in his head.

He bent to kiss her with a simple touch.

"Naoki-kun," she sighed on his lips and he, noting that the time had stolen everything of him, depleting his strength, reluctantly broke away from her, leaving her inner warmth.

However, he wrapped his arms and clung her to his chest, inhaling and exhaling with large puffs of air.

He closed his eyes and increased the pressure of his grip with a possessiveness that prevented him from letting her go and separate.

He was done, he did not conceive anything but that, and Kotoko in his company. He had never felt so exultant, that neither he found the right way to define that. It was just the best thing had happened until then, completely unknown, but it was impossible to set aside. He would not have thought _it was that way_. It was so different, so new, and so unique.

Kotoko started breathing normally and he pressed a kiss against her ear, near her sweaty hair plastered to her head. He breathed her in and, besides her specific scent mingled with shampoo, he felt the air mixed with the combination of both and the outcome of their union.

Naoki sighed happily and felt her shudder.

 _She was his_.

Nothing could be more satisfying to him than that and he was quite certain that he did not want it otherwise. And there was a way to secure it.

It did not surprise him; he felt certain that he craved it internally. Nothing but knowing her his. In his eyes and in the others.

He smiled thinking in all he wanted to do and spoke with soft words: "Marry me."

He was determined that he wanted her as a wife, not for the stupid purpose he had in the past, but because he couldn't imagine another woman as his wife. He wanted to have the opportunity to officially say that she was his and that she had his name, to end his days having her next to him and wake up in her company, to have the certainty thats he would be with him…

She stiffened in his arms, making him frown, wondering what happened.

Perhaps the surprise made her response that way?

He waited a few seconds for the idea to take place and made her turn around; her eyes were closed and he leaned toward her mouth.

Kotoko parted her lips.

"No," she said, in a way that sounded forceful, stopping his intentions.

His body paralyzed and, stunned, he felt her leave him; he put no resistance due to the disbelief that overwhelmed his head.

Kotoko had given him a negative response, he thought, giving clarity to the situation.

He sought to make eye contact when she opened her eyes, but she avoided him with an eye on his shoulder, tensed, as her body.

 _No._

"Ko…" The melody of his phone, from the flor, interrupted his words and made her separate, wrapping his dark blanket around her body.

"You've got to answer," Kotoko mumbled, not looking at him yet, increasing his dismay.

What had he done wrong? She did not want to marry him?

"No," he said. The mobile tone persisted, trying his patience, and he moved with the intention of turning it off, but she was faster and got out of bed, kneeling next to his pants. She took out the object and then throw it to his chest, surprising him; he was almost stunned by the blow, as if it had been a great projectile.

It took a few moments to leave that state and realize that she had taken advantage of his distraction and escaped the room with her clothes in hand and covering her nakedness. He still did not react completely after her refusal and her behavior when she gave him his phone.

…after she _flew_.

The bang of her coming into her room entered his head. He dropped the phone still ringing, ignoring it for a moment, went to the bathroom to get rid of the condom, and looked for something to cover himself so he could go for Kotoko.

This time he did not mind the respect and just opened the door, expecting to find her there.

He cursed at the sound of water running in the bathroom of the room and pressed both hands into fists, surely he would find the door locked.

He walked over to the bed to sit, and there he noticed something resting on it, which caught his attention.

It was her album, with her bracelet above.

Kotoko didn't have it before, he acknowledged, feeling something in his chest, like pain for breathing. _She never took it off… she always wore it_.

What did that mean? Everything that was happening?

He could not think clearly, he did not even have the strength to ask her why she had refused his proposal. Maybe she needed a ring or a declaration of love, but he could not give it to her, because he wasn't sure he loved her. Moreover, she did not deserve something like that; nor did he wanted to lie and be false about it, as he was at the start of their relationship.

Therefore, he left the room, silently, and went back to his bedroom. There he opened the window and let the cold air enter and cover the entire space, refreshing it.

He occupied his mind clean up, because in that way he could avoid the revolution of his mind and the stabbing pains in his chest, which eventually prevented him from moving.

Did she scared her with a sudden proposition? Was it too soon? Would she only accept it if he said he loved her? It was it too much for one day?

 _For him, it was._ But he was sure he wanted to make her his wife.

Was she still hurt by the rejection (because it looked like that) of her love? Had it been different for her the moment they shared before?

Was it a mistake to have fallen silent when she asked if he loved her? What could he have said? Did sleeping together mean anything to Kotoko, for her it was just something else?

He flopped to the ground and rested his arms on his knees, hiding his face in them and letting the cold wind hit his bare chest and cool his body and thoughts, to give his mind the lucidity that he needed since Friday. However, now his thoughts showed as a huge storm, with thousands of thorns on his head, hammering, punching, and upsetting his reason.

And in his chest, in there he felt like a stone inside, which made his breathing labored.

What was that all about?

Determined to get an answer, he stood up, ignoring the good sense and closed the window, gathering his things for a quick shower before talking to Kotoko.

He did all that, in a sudden urge, not really aware of what would he say or what would he find… it was better not let it go and talk to her at once.

Wasn't he resolute before?

He took the fastest shower in his life, obliterating her smell in the steam, hating that he could not have her, as he wanted, in his arms, rather than with uncertainty blowing off his tranquility. Things would be fine for both, he could not be sure of loving her—though the suggestion of his father made him think what he already knew, she was very important to him—, but was determined to keep what they had, increasing the esteem he felt for her and weave a future together.

His unconscious had done that after a while he did not take into account their beginning… and that _had to be for a reason_ , so he'd continue with it; his heart had won his brain.

Again, in less than an hour, he left his room with the intention of entering hers, and he entered without knocking, because he had no time for formalities.

Instantly, he stopped when he saw her lying in bed with her eyes closed. Her hair, wet, was scattered on the pillow, under which she had one of her hands.

As he moved to the side of the bed, he heard her even breathing and it served to calm the beating in his chest, wondering if he was seeing more, because she looked peacefully as she slept.

It wasn't normal for him to have that reaction, and probably the immensity of the moment they spent together affected him, by its novelty and the high intensity of feelings that stirred inside.

He sighed; maybe that was why he wasn't carried by strong emotions, because they drove him crazy and altered his controlled world; although he had been losing control since she entered his life. And he did not care.

He knelt beside her and looked at her face, placing a finger over her rosy cheek to move a ringlet of hair behind her ear.

Naoki gave a deep sigh. "What have you done to me?" he asked aloud, doubt in his voice.

He stood watching her for a long time without thinking, his hand remained on her cheek.

He sighed again.

Standing up, he gave one last look before leaving the bedroom, taking the abandoned blanket by the door.

 **[…]**

Naoki was tossing and turning at night, despite having slept, and he knew it, not only for the state of the sheets—never in that mess—, but because his body did not feel really rested and relaxed when he opened his eyes at sunrise.

Kotoko had not come down to dinner, and when he went to bed, he confirmed that she was in the same position as before, asleep, with no signs of wanting to wake up at night. Nor did she awoke in the next few hours, another reason for his lack of rest, since his body was alert to the sounds outside the room, to her.

She didn't come out, but he stayed in bed, waiting for a sign that showed him that he could see her and approach her, to solve his doubt and calm his body, fixing his mind.

He was restless and indecisive, so out of his senses that nothing served to go back to normal. It was incomprehensible the displays he had, _he felt pathetic for being considered a genius and, yet, not have the answer and peace of mind_.

But he knew long before that his emotional intelligence wasn't like his intelligence quotient. He wasn't as privileged with his emotions.

He sighed and got up from the bed, which he made slowly, before moving like a robot, not understanding why he thought he was in another body, not his, when it was ridiculous.

He looked in the mirror and saw nothing different about him. His orbs were the same as always, brown-violet, not revealing anything unless he wished so; he only saw light puffy bags under his eyes, but there was nothing different. His mouth was as expressionless, without high sides or difference in how thin his lips curve. He needed probably a haircut, because strands covered his ears, but there was nothing else.

So, why that strange feeling of being someone else?

Blinking for a second, he looked down to the comb he held and then readjusted his hair to remove the ravages of the night.

Once ready, he decided to go downstairs and prepare some breakfast, beginning the day.

He left his room and only glanced briefly at Kotoko's door, aware that dawn was the worst time to break into her private area, especially when Shigeo-san slept close… For now, he hoped to avoid his gaze, because he knew he had crossed a line, but he did not repent.

He had also told his father-in-law that his relationship with his daughter was serious, even if then he did with his plan in mind; now he was sure that he wanted a life with her, without the expectations of his father, but true to himself.

He slowly descended to the main floor and frowned halfway to the kitchen, feeling the smell of coffee in his nostrils.

Was any of the current occupants of the house awake?

His mother, who was calling him, told him they would return until Sunday, so it was strange that someone else, at that time, was active.

He shrugged and went to the kitchen, surprised to find Kotoko there with a cup of coffee in her hands.

She looked at him over the edge, cheeks flushed, and he felt his warmed a little, as he approached at a slow pace.

"Good… morning," Kotoko spoke first, looking down.

"Good morning," he greeted with more confidence than she did, although his chest expressed the opposite.

Now that he was in front of her, alone, he could not address the issue he wanted, even if his mind demanded it.

"Since when are you awake?" he asked, opting for a neutral topic, to start, as she washed her cup.

She shrugged, finishing her task. "I woke up at midnight… I've been practicing," she hesitated to speak.

"Do you wish help?" He wanted to know, watching her face, but she looked away.

"I don't think it's the best."

He frowned. "Why?"

"I have to do it myself."

"You're the one who'll answer the test", he argued.

She laughed. "I must start getting used to it," she said sourly.

"What are you talking about?" He took a step toward Kotoko, who took two back, still not looking at him. He forced her to raise her head, his hand on her chin, but she closed her eyes at his touch, preventing he saw the windows of her soul.

"We're moving out," she snapped and he dropped his hand, surprised.

"What?" he whispered in a low voice.

Were they going to move? Why? For what reason?

He saw her swallow with tight eyes. "Dad believes that, after the problems of Pandai, he needs to lighten the burden of oji-san. And you have to spend time as a family."

If Shigeo-san also took part for remodeling, he thought, fighting the idea.

"There's no need, things are better," he replied, seriously. Is that why she rejected his proposal?

Should not it be otherwise?, but did not quite understand how her head worked; lately, she was not so transparent.

He cleared his throat. "And… _you are our family_."

Kotoko put her eyes at one point to his right, after opening them. "I won't be against him," she said, resolutely.

He was surprised, opening his eyes more, saying nothing.

"That's the plan of my father, and… there are some decisions that seem to be adequate, although they cause suffering, but maybe things happen for a reason." She coughed. "Now I don't know what I'm saying."

"Kotoko…"

She surrounded him and walked out of the kitchen, crestfallen, triggering alarms in his head and raising his heartbeat, which could not remain calm in recent times, against his health.

He grabbed her wrist, catching her up in the dining room. "Is that why you've said _no_ to my request?"

She snorted. "Were you really asking?" she replied, in a strange way from her, making him squeeze her wrist.

Confused, he denied without seeing her. In recent days, he walking in circles with Kotoko, and it frustrated him, especially because he felt the distance between them was strong.

"What did you reject me?"

"I didn't have the right to refuse?" Kotoko replied without looking at him, and he got irritated, grabbing her shoulders, but she stirred, wanting him to let go.

His arms pressed her shoulders and his hands her head, forcing her to look at him.

Something was wrong; her eyes seemed angry and that was not how they usually looked.

"What is happening with you?" he asked, in a whisper.

"You, that demanded more without asking me and…" She closed her mouth, breathing deeply. "I have to keep practicing."

"You'll tell why, and what do you mean," he demanded in a deep voice, annoyed that she went in circles, that he didn't understand, and that everything was a mess.

"Let me…" she whispered, in a way that seemed a plea, but he did not budge. "I need to concentrate on my test. I have to do well."

"Why did you say no?" he insisted, just with it.

Kotoko closed her eyes. "I do it for me," she whispered, swallowing. "Because I don't…" She made a long pause. "I cannot… now… no…"

"Kotoko…"

A sigh escaped her lips. "Please…"

He wondered for a second if he was being too pushy with her, asking her a lot when she must be worried about something else.

"No…" he said softly.

"I don't even know your feelings for me," she whispered, pulling away with a sudden movement. "And this way I can not be with you any longer." He opened his eyes wide, feeling the hit directly into the stomach. " _I need to concentrate_ ," she remarked at the end, going away, and leaving him hanging.

Paralyzed.

 _He was going to lose her_.


	31. When reality is deeper

**Chapter 31**

 **When reality is deeper**

* * *

Naoki sat at the dining table and messed his hair, unable to stop repeating the Kotoko's words, engraved on his head just by hearing them once… though he would remember them without his good memory.

Kotoko could no longer be with him without knowing his feelings for her; she would take distance from him for an error that he could correct, being honest, completely honest, with what he felt for her. _But what was it exactly?_

Of course he cared for her, she was one of the people who had more value in his personal circle, and, although at the beginning she seemed a nuisance and he didn't notice her a lot, gradually he changed his opinion, thinking highly of her, once he knew her and saw that she was a different person than he thought. Or, actually, she earned a space in his life on her own, getting into it with her personality, using her determination to face the obstacles in her way, achieving what many couldn't, as they didn't have her obstinacy, nor the great optimism for the things that she showed in the little things she did.

"Up early on vacations?" His father's voice pulled him from his musings and he looked at him coming into the room, adjusting his shirt and putting the jacket on a chair.

Naoki nodded, frowning.

"Will you go to Pandai?" he asked, stupidly, because his clothes assured him he would. "Dad…"

"Don't scold me, Nao," cut his father, smiling. "I'm the first worried about me, you know? I don't need the future doctor to give me orders and ask for rest."

"The physician…"

"Yesterday I went to him after my lunch with Oizumi and he gave me his recommendations. I won't do anything to jeopardize my health. I don't want to go back for the care of the hospital nurses, especially when they keep asking me for my son," said his father, shuddering. "If they knew that in a few years you could work with them."

He made a hint of a smile.

"Is something wrong?" Asked his father raising an eyebrow. "I'll be fine."

He denied, standing up. "I'll go with you."

"Naoki." His father gave him a look of reprimand.

"I want to leave home," he said sincere, heading for the kitchen. "I'll prepare some breakfast."

He needed to keep his mind occupied for a while and be out of the walls of his home, away from Kotoko, the last to fulfill her request. In addition, he needed to know if being away for some time would serve him to think carefully, with his head more clear.

It had not worked on the weekend, but he had seven days to decide how he would face Kotoko to convince her to continue with him, even when he was not certain if he loved her back…

 **[…]**

The astonished and joyful welcome of Pandai employees to his father made Naoki feel happy, because they seemed to have a genuine appreciation for him and it distracted him. He looked at the pleased expressions of the people whom he had contact for several weeks, many of which their names appeared in floral arrangements in his father's hospital room.

He stood alone in a corner, next to an ornamental plant and a framed photograph of the first toy of the company, which was a success, before the era of technology and the fame of the country changed a bit the initial course. Since the nineties to a few years after the first decade of the famous two thousand, there was a big difference; the great revolution of recent years had caused it. The beginning of the century was a turning point.

"Forgive me, but I venture to say that you don't look like your father, Irie." He looked to his right, where Matsumoto Yuuko's eyes followed his father.

He let out a snort.

"Maybe. I had a resemblance with him just when I was little. I'm like the Isshiki's, my mother's side," he replied, thinking of the family of his mother, pondering whether it would have been convenient to visit his relatives and not deny to join them; it had been a while since he saw them. However, the idea he of going there attracted him, though the constant occupations in the family home would have kept him busy.

"Then the character must have…" Matsumoto squinted at the time his father laughed, making Naoki stifle a laugh of mockery.

Certainly, his personality wasn't like his father's, not like his mother's; but… to be honest, right then, he began to think if he was more like his mother than he'd admit. Not in her eloquent and exaggerated acting, but in other aspects, as some of her capabilities, only that his mother had lived differently, with less unpleasant experiences, and for being a woman she had to act differently and to give different importance to things.

His view wasn't similar and he could justify his mother's irritating ways came from living with her family.

Because of her and her firm hand on his father, he was the way he behaved today, along with the importance he put on reason. Although he was aware that…

"How is _Kotorin_?" He raised an eyebrow to Matsumoto. She was looking at the club members and the developers of Pandai with big interest, while they talked animated to his father. "She's missed here," she added.

He, even in his distress, suppressed a smile, knowing what she meant.

"Now I see," Matsumoto sighed, "I just had to look deeper."

He looked puzzled, not hiding that he didn't understand her words.

"I wouldn't have had a chance with Aihara close," she said, wrinkling her nose a moment, nodding when Mr. Sato called her to approach him.

Kotoko close? Look deeper? At what? _At him_?

She insinuated something very similar to what his father had said, but he didn't want others to tell him, he wanted to get an answer by himself.

He sighed, going to the designing room.

 _For better or worse, there was a lot of Kotoko._

 **[…]**

The rubber ball fell back into his hand and Naoki threw it to the air to catch it again, continuing the repetitive activity in which he was—lying on his bed—after the dinner, a silent even with his father and Kotoko.

She repeated the sign language, his father was reading and he ate giving brief glances at Kotoko, thinking of his feelings, after accepting throughout the day that, since the moment he met her, he allowed himself to feel, or experience stronger emotions than the basics.

In the past, he was too monotonous… going on a straight path without changes that got him to lose control and calmness, obtaining prompt responses or doing things without realizing the meaning that could be behind them, walking through life without really committing or finding importance to things, _making him and his way of life, the center of the universe_. Nothing caused him real satisfaction, and he didn't saw the achievements and successes, nor did he had the opportunity to dream or have something to aspire or to fight for. In the past, he didn't know what it was envy or jealousy, uncertainty or great joy, he was so frivolous in the world, responding for mere cordiality or condescension to what was happening around him.

He existed without batting an eye when things happened; he did not worry, fear, longed or enjoy; he didn't even take people or situations with interest. He felt that he wasn't normal, far superior to others. He thought that others' affairs wouldn't happen on him; he was unreachable and judged in a terrible way, he put his intentions high and did not consider another person than himself, nor thought that he could learn what was really important because of others. He didn't allow himself to approach anyone, less to take the task of meeting someone external or to value a person outside his family.

And then… he began to wonder, to take the time, to get angry, to question his person, and to feel like a failure or feel defeated.

All had been so different those two years.

With the entry of Kotoko to his life, he had been forced to face countless situations, which had made him go through different new moments and to analyze and open himself. By having an eidetic memory and great intellectual capacity to understand the logical, and by not wanting to live moments that resembled the embarrassment and helplessness of the past, he put aside the understanding of emotions, his and others, not allowing himself to live with deeper and stronger emotions… He controlled himself to the point that things didn't perturb him, convincing himself of how useless could they be, just to face the world with a mask of coldness—a result of 'head over heart' and 'not feel'—, because nothing could take him off-guard or cross the barrier he put around himself.

Things became unable to have an impact on him and turned away from all the great emotions, to the extent that it wasn't _as human_ _as many_. Emotions… they were more difficult to understand, as well as feelings and people, because, unlike inert things, _they changed_. Moreover, he listened what they said and saw some of their actions, but then he looked that they did something different… and did not understand those complexities; they escaped from the logical behaviors, and he remembered perfectly their acts. They did not follow linearity.

Until now, he hadn't realized that he had stopped doing all of that. He had made that big difference. Because of Kotoko, he opened to feelings and little by little, he let them influence him, in some moments. Gradually he stopped bothering about her way of being, and discovered that not all the people under his level were stupid… that she wasn't the idiot he thought at first.

Just by repeating what he initially believed, he felt embarrassed and stupid.

Enjoy, doubt, amaze, anger, shame, envy, interest, fear, rage, dream, wish, love. Kotoko presence in his life had…

He felt it like a blow to the solar plexus and the ball slammed into his shoulder before falling to the ground and roll somewhere he did not care at all.

 _Love_.

He loved Kotoko; he was in love with her. _He had been for some time_. It was a revelation that came so suddenly, although he had been feeling it before. It was that what she had caused on him, that was the name to those sensations; the uncertainty, interest, concern, acceptance and search for her company, the liking… So many things that he could not quite define, but the throb of his chest related to her, the way his mind stirred, they were because he loved her, that he was in love.

That revelation had come with so many certainties; long before, he could not say _when_ , he had been falling in love with Kotoko, thanks to whom he went through an endless sea of emotions and experiences, impossible that take into account if it had been someone else. No one else was allowed to have so much access to his life, even if he initially disliked her.

For her, he had felt _alive_. Due to Kotoko, the situations had acquired a new meaning for him; he had faced so much, but just because she caused him so much, he had awakened from his slumber. She had gotten inside him and had access to a place that no one else had really dared to enter. She had confronted and thrown him into the unknown and had pushed him with her at his side.

She had made him _look at the world_.

And it was for her that he had been waking up and opening himlsef, because since she had smiled at him for the first time, she began making her path inside him, testing him and confronting him, earning his heart with her actions and personality, with the kindness she put for things, with that quality of hers to fail and recover, to seek to improve and persist, to see the positive side of things, to find the best of the universe in little things, with how genuine she was about her feelings… and so many things that could take him ant entire life to name.

Inadvertently for him, while justifying it in different ways, he had fallen in love with her, the person she hid under her image, who surprised him and frustrated him in equal parts, who made him notice how different they were and how they could complete each other, who he constantly enjoyed seeing.

It was… it was _there_. It began at some point, in which, at first, her characteristics irritated him, then made him admire her and like her; he saw they changing and growing to their current way, and now he didn't want any of them to vanish, because they made _Kotoko_ , without whom he could not live.

He refused to do so; someone might deserve her more than he might, he knew, but he could not and would not have someone else at his side; she was his complement; and she made emerge a part of him that remained hidden, she made him _feel_.

He could think of millions of words to describe it, but fell short; he could not express his feelings correctly. But it was in the heat of his body when he think of her, in the tension and the yearning when she was close, in the tingle he felt when he touched her, in the calmness that gave him her presence… in the changes in him because of her, _nobody but her_.

If that and more he didn't know to recognize, did not mean that he loved her, he could not find another explanation and need someone to clarify what that was all about.

Of course he loved her.

He didn't doubt it anymore and… he should tell it to Kotoko, now that he had solved his feelings for her. He'd assure her that he wanted her by his side, that he wanted her with him and that there would be no doubting more about whether he loved her back. Even though he did not feel able repeat it constantly, he wanted to make it clear.

He stood out of bed like a spring and walked to the door, leaving the room quickly; he could lose her for not knowing his feelings on time. How many times did she tell him she loved him?

And she sounded really tired that morning, as if she could not take any more, as if she had surrendered waiting for his response, after long months of dating.

"Kotoko." He knocked on her door several times until she opened, frowning, as she had been doing for some time. How much time did she have thinking about what he felt for her?

Had it been tormenting her?

He had little time with the confusion and pain of her refusal to marry him that he did not understand how she could go through a feeling for much longer.

He stared at her eyes, bright but different from others times he watched them; he didn't find what made them truly shine and felt an armor surrounding them, one he often had around him. He bristled at the thought that he had done that kind of damage to her.

"Please, don't," she said in a low tone.

"Kotoko." He felt his throat suddenly dry; he had gone to tell her that he loved her, but could not say aloud those words, it was so difficult, and the way her eyes lacked emotion had stopped him completely.

She had a request… he should do it, but… he wanted to change that look.

 _'I love you.'_

The words didn't leave his mouth, refusing to do so. It seemed much easier to think than talk, more than say he was sorry; those excuses had been so simple compared to the complexity of confessing that he loved her. Had it been the same for her? Had she felt nervous and uncertain whenever she said them, and not get the answer she wanted in return?

Was it hard for her, even if she really felt it?

Kotoko stepped back when he gave one, watching her jaw clenched, in response to his presence.

Suddenly, she blinked and he watched as her eyes filled with tears, which he failed to give an explanation, immersed in the pain that appeared on her face and in the frustration and despair he felt, unable to say just two words and because she had a face full of suffering, caused by him. She was disarmed and hurt, because of him. And to watch her cry felt like a dagger in his chest, in the helplessness he felt for his inability to tell what his mind screamed.

He raised his hands to take them to her shoulders and pull her to her body, but she shook her head and hugged herself.

"Wh… why?" she sobbed, hiccupping repeatedly with a contorted face. "Why… are you…?"

"Kotoko…"

"S… Stop…" she hiccupped, denying. "I know!"

A searing fear settled in his chest and he blinked with a feeling that gave him chills; she could not _know_ that he loved her because she would not be reacting that way. It would not appear that her world was falling apart or that he was mistreating her. But neither…

"Wh-what?" He stammered, without being able to show confidence in his words. It should be impossible; she could not know the last thing he wanted her to know.

"Oji-san… and oba-sama…" She took a deep breath. "When he came back home… I heard them talk about you and the condition…"

He felt a cold sweat, and his body stood still.

"No," he muttered, tormented. She didn't… _Everything except that_.

"It took me time to connect the dots…" Kotoko let out a sob and fell to her knees, like him; he felt his feet could no longer bear his weight and stayed before her, crying. "I didn't want to believe it, and then I thought… and everything, you, you talked to Oji-san…"

He didn't need her to hit him in the chest with one hand as she did, because her words were like millions of painful blows against his body. He was unable to deny… he was wordless… He was…

 _Damn_.

"I felt used… listening to it; I felt all this time I was just a toy… and that it was a lie from the beginning… that you just did it for you and that I… I." He took out his hand to her, which was rejected. "…I, I was a means of getting what you wanted. That I was a fool, that I worked with you, that I supported and stood by your side… for you, and I was no more… more than…"

"Kotoko," he whispered, trying for her to stop, to because he could see her face and hear her voice. _It hurt_ , it felt like someone was squeezing his chest and sticking thousands of needles, giving him blow after blow to end his existence. But she… "Hush," he mumbled, hoarsely.

"I was no more than, no more than… any girl… because no matter who, _anyone would have served_. I felt betrayed and hurt, that I gave my love and you… And you didn't matter… my feelings… And that I was just for you an unimportant being… who suited your needs…"

She shook her head from side to side, making her tears jump, which she tried to erase. He had a lump in his throat, he could not speak; her feelings, what he caused by the damn plan. _He had been so stupid_ , and Kotoko had known his worst mistake.

"I'm a fool… so stupid, I hesitated, I hesitated for a moment… when you said I'd be your girlfriend, but then I forgot it and thought that… that I should not question your motives and it was your way of giving me a chance… I was okay with it thinking that you should have… liked me at the moment, as it happened with me, and that you'd love me later…

» I accepted that after a while you did not tell me, because that's your personality… I was convinced you had to love me… after all the time together… and that you seem to care for me, but even when we _were together_ you were… you were unable to tell me once… and I realize that I was cheating myself _like a stupid_ ," she emphasized, "…what you always have believed of me…"

"Not."

"Because the truth _was_ _there_ all this time. Always. And you… _you_ didn't realize that I… was suffering or…" She hiccupped and her shoulders moved violently, sticking the needle deeper into his chest. "You did not care… _You don't care about me_."

"Kotoko, that's not true," he snapped, shaking his head.

"You don't care about me. You don't love. You don't love me! And I cannot… _I cannot be with you, we cannot be together_ ," whispered.

Naoki turned white, feeling… really feeling her pain. And it was all his fault, for a stupid decision made before he met her and an idiot plan that he now saw as the biggest stupidity of the planet, and the meanest goal, before he had allowed himself to know her, see her, feel her, have her and love her. And, unwittingly, he had hurt her, he had hurt the person who mattered the most for him and who had done more than others had for him… _He was an idiot_.

"Kotoko, I… lov…"

"Don't!" she snapped, covering her ears. "I don't want to hear you… _no_."

He put his hands to his hair; that was the worst, the last scenario in which he should tell her his feelings. He did not even thought she could listen to him, nor believe him… and she…

"Go away, Naoki, go away!" The use his name plainly hit him squarely in the face.

He tried to grab her hands to put her closer and have her at his side, until he found the way to convince her and make up, to show her that he was no longer the man who thought that stupidity in the past and that he loved her, that he had fallen in love despite everything and that she had won over him, that he had fallen into her hands and in the vast network woven by all of her.

He wanted to explain, to assure her that he loved her.

"Kotoko… listen to me. Please…"

"No," she said, shaking her head, crying with swollen eyes. "Don't you get it?" She took a deep breath. "Respect my decision… For once, just once, consider… what _I_ want."

That was like a slap for him; she repeated she needed to concentrate, that in those moments she couldn't, and he had insisted.

Furthermore, _her words were a reference to what he did_.

He was so stunned and she so affected that he could not stay there, pushing, without the right words, which he did not think existed… or…

"Leave me alone," she whispered, covering her face. "Please. It… hurts me… to see you."

Those words took effect and he nodded without seeing her, with his exterior hardened and his interior pained by what he had done in Kotoko. He had caused her so much suffering and he kept doing it without intention.

He had shattered one of the most genuine and valuable people he had met.

Naoki wanted to take her in his arms to unburden herself, offer her comfort and make her pain go away, absorb it and assure her it was a nightmare, that he loved her and that all of it was just a situation that she should forget, but… he was the cause and _it hurt her to see him_.

How could he leave her alone and how could he not?

If even he felt so abandoned right now, he had no forces. His passed a hand over his face, gritting his teeth, and turned away, standing up.

He cursed himself with every step he took toward the door, where he stopped, looking at her shrunken form in the middle of the room, with her face hidden behind her knees, and knowing he was the only one guilty of it.

He kept that picture of her to ruin other times in his head, knowing that he could not forget her _devastated_ , as his mother once said.

He went out and closed the door behind him, shuffling to his room, where he went in and pushed the door with a thud, after which he pressed his forehead against it, squeezing his eyes.

Loathing himself.

* * *

Claudia: My God, poor Naoki, I was mean to him. But things will be solved, soon. I felt bad for him too, but this had to happen.


	32. Turn the page

**Chapter 32**

 **Turn the page**

* * *

Naoki leaned against his room's door and slid slowly, limply, to the ground. His hands went to his head and he left them there, overwhelmed by an empty feeling inside him, unable to react appropriately to the turn of events in recent times.

He had gone from discerning his feelings to fall to the bottom of a cliff, pushed by a few words, hers… Behind them was a face, and it wasn't Kotoko's, but his own, full of impassivity, addressing her to make her his girlfriend in order to meet a stupid goal.

"I know," he whispered messing his hair, using the phrase of Kotoko that triggered the prelude to the storm. "She knows."

Pronounce that was the set off for his head to fill with thousands of lashes, with a broken voice of Kotoko dancing inside, peppering him in the chest and making him feel cold and contemptible.

She knew it.

His mind was busy repeating, over and _over again_ , the wounded words of Kotoko, which penetrated deep into his being and revealed a situation that he would never have wished to happen, because it would have finished with the trust and love woman he loved.

Gritting his teeth, he hit his head against the wood repeatedly, so that the words gnawing his mind disappeared, and in an attempt to divert his attention from the mental pain to a physical one. He wanted the pain to wake him of that terrible dream to realize it was just a nightmare and that he had an opportunity to tell her and show her that he loved her, without the stupid plan becoming known.

But it was impossible, one thing or another. He was _unable to forget_ the pain, and his emotional suffering was so extreme that it prevented him from thinking clearly and gathering calm to find a way.

"Consider what I want."

"It hurts me to see you."

Why did it have to be like that?

He swore against him again and again, repeating it aloud, while his head hit constantly against the door, without anything else to do that despise himself.

Why had he thought that stupid plan? It enabled him to know her, but also, it was the source of her damage, along with the slights, that he gave her many times… How couldn't he think before, that he would hurt her? That she would know?

Why had he been so blind?

It was his own fault, his indifference or his reserve had made her back up her belief of his disinterest towards her; he did not deny that, initially, it was that way… he had wanted it and planned it, but then it changed, and his few different actions were just of his knowledge because he didn't exteriorize anything.

It was his fault, his own foolishness. Not a minute did he take to think of what she might consider a lie; his actions could well mean that he didn't take much interest in her. What had he done? Why had he done folly after folly with her?

Why hadn't he tried to be more open? Or explore his feelings on time? If only he hadn't been so comfortable with what they had, and he had reflected before, he would have had the opportunity to show that he really cared for her, in a more noticeable way and not using phrases or words to justify his behavior—which said that he wasn't genuine in his attention—. Did his façade have such value that he couldn't be genuine?

He was a jerk… though, if he had done something to show her his importance, sooner or later something would have made her found out the reason to be his girlfriend, and everything would have been seen as a way to win her, _to make her fall_ , as he had planned.

It had been a double-edged sword since the beginning. Everything went like a slippery slope, something small caused a big problem, because so much faith and loyalty she had for him, seemed built on a lie, filling of disappointment all the good times they had shared, destroying her confidence in him, which he both appreciated and valued, and that made him fall in love with her.

The irony was that, without still wanting it, he had met his goal of "having her in his pocket". However, extraordinary and fortunately, it was Kotoko who managed to catch him in her web, making him fall in love.

And now he had lost her.

"We cannot be together."

 _He had lost her_.

She wanted nothing to do with him, because she would have in mind that he needed a girlfriend to meet his father's condition—which was not even true.

But he needed it. He needed _Kotoko_.

And he'd no longer have her, for a past mistake, for his circumspection, for not knowing how to say the right words, for being so obtuse and not realize what he felt, for staying in the comfort and not questioning his feelings for her in time.

Now he really knew what he felt that time before speaking and telling her to be his girlfriend, the call of conscience to reconsider without having uttered the words… that was a warning, which he could not identify and now had cost him his relationship with her. How could he have done that? It allowed him to know her, but eventually, it was the same reason that separate her from him.

Where was the genius? His great ability? Even the dumbest would have seen the wrong and vile of that goal of taking advantage of a person and wanting to manipulate it just to make a profit. _Play with her feelings, use her, reject her, make her as if she were someone else_ … just as she had suggested.

Could he really be justified in any way?

She must despise him; hate him. She could not even see him; he should have killed her pure and immeasurable for him, which he took without hesitation, avoiding to offer himself in a genuine way or in one that was enough to counteract the effects of the knowledge of his initial motive.

If he had thought earlier, he could have told her…

What was he doing?

He could not even think clearly; the only certainty was that he had lost Kotoko for his own foolishness. There was nothing more certain than to say that things were more valued when they were going to lose them, or when you lost them.

He did not even have the strength to think there was a way to avoid losing her, or to recover her.

 _And he could not think of anything else than her and her words._

 **[…]**

Lying on his bed, seeing nothing in particular, Naoki kept his eyes open, trapped in his own catastrophic thoughts. He could not bear to look in the mirror or look away to meet with the doll of Kotoko watching him from atop the bookcase, along with the boat she had given him, very heavy in meaning. Their presence made company to his overloaded and overwhelmed mind, which had been for twenty-four hours or more, or less, he did not know, sank into nothing and everything.

He felt a pain in the chest that didn't let him breathe normally, and an uneasiness, plus a feeling in the bottom of the stomach that caused him great discomfort and prevented him from being at full capacity. He was blocked now, but he could be sure that physically he was fine; he should be in tatters psychically, despite if previously he would have flatly denied anything like it.

It was so hard to name and describe for him how he felt now. He was like a being at home, a house so flat and empty as him; it lacked the melodramatic tone of his mother, the sympathy of his father, the good spirits of his father-in-law, the ingenious innocence of his brother, and the charisma, joy, and brightness of Kotoko.

The absence of all affected his current mood. Nevertheless, at the same time, not having them allowed him to be like that.

With the presence of others perhaps he could have shut down the switch, pretend as he often did—with the excuse that others could not observe such a show of weakness on his part—, and block the great feelings that ran in himself, while he still didn't understand what happened inside him.

When he tried to think clearly, his feelings, those that he often dismissed, stood in the way of his head like a huge obstacle, and the lump in his throat prevented him of rationalizing as usual.

However, he could not simply close entirely, not as usual, because he had never experienced such a level of pain, the helplessness of not having a solution… it had escaped his control, he had lost what he valued above all things, he could not recover it—and was it worth in his current circumstances?

His hands were empty of that thread that he pulled to control himself, he did not have a script of what he could do, and he had no idea of the result if he did something (if he could think of it).

He felt so helpless and powerless, as if nothing that he did would work. That, along with the shame and contempt he felt for himself, made him not want to face the outside world.

His inability to understand and respond had Naoki paralyzed, and the oppression on his chest prevented him from thinking.

And there was, deep down, a need to leave out what was happening inside, to let it flow, but his mind somehow refused to do so, knowing how visceral it would be to do it, how so out of him and unusable it would be.

He could not deal with all of it; those sensations, feelings and emotions… he could not.

How did people have that on themselves and kept going? He wanted to be the same as before and to forget about that event, get a way to recover the woman he loved and whom he had hurt.

She couldn't see him, but he only felt a longing to be close to her, so her presence ensured him that all was okay between them. He longed for her smile, the same like the first time, the day he met her, or the same like all those occasions when she offered a smile out of her soul, sweet and genuine, devoted solely to him.

Think about it made him have contradictory feelings; he was filled with warmth linked to her, a product of imagining her face and the many features of it, that made her so unique in his eyes, stimulating his mind and senses, relieving him… But now there was a constant stabbing pain in his chest, making his hands shake, and he knew it was due to the moving image in his mind, in which she was expressing her pain and showing in her face by his fault.

He clenched his jaw and fists, his eyes burning for the courage he felt for himself.

When he met her, why didn't he think about the consequences?

Even if he didn't want (a thought now horrible), he should have considered that it would be painful and devastating to know what moved him to unite them. He had to admit that, in her place, he would have felt used and ridiculed, as he experienced as a child when his mother used him for her own desires, saying it was an innocent game.

His mother had justified the wrong behavior, as he did, and had not thought about what would cause with it. Why didn't he come up with that at the beginning?

Now he understood his mother… How would he have thought of the consequences immersed in himself and what he wanted, as he was then?

Therefore, would not it be better to take into account Kotoko's wishes and _let her go_? Not insist on what _he wanted_ , and allow someone else to be with her and valued her enough to prove it and make her as happy as she deserved to be, no matter what happened to him. Didn't she deserve it?

Though he wanted her back, wasn't it selfish to do so?

Should he leave her free?

Perhaps it was the best to do; she, having him around, suffered, and he could not take away the pain he had seen in her… his way of being didn't make him capable and in the future, he would probably make her suffer more with his personality.

What could he say or do that it was good and enough for her, regretting what he had done? None of his words would really work. His intention hadn't been to damage her or make her unhappy… and he had done so.

He loved her… but he was the source of her suffering, his actions had caused her current state…

Maybe the most appropriate thing to do was to ask forgiveness and not hold her, let someone repair her soul and win that pure and precious heart that he failed to cherish.

Yet the thought of hurting her and _let her go_ … definitely lose her… That thought brought a lump to his throat and an excruciating pain to his chest that doubled him up with his eyes closed.

And that made room to deep despair and suffering in the depths of his soul. The emotions that his mind had been holding fell on him like a storm and a hand wringing his heart.

He felt his eyes filled with a burning fire and his body shivered helplessly in light tremors that shook him completely.

Then, to his eyes came a watery trail, which licked his eyelashes, and a tear fell on his cheek, giving way to a torrent more. In the solitude of his soul, his emotions won and he cried of impotence, anger, disappointment, knockdown, pain, regret.

Above all, he cried to let go of everything that consumed him inside.

He heard himself sobbing in the dark and empty room, immersed in conflict with himself and the storm in his being. He could not control it, he felt unable to stop. His heart was taking over his mind and he wanted to get all off his chest and to let pour out his suffering, in the form of salty tears that ran down his cheeks and sobs that he could not silence… in the liberation that he began to feel like light in the dark.

Amid all this, he learned that to _let go_ was the hardest thing he had done. He was opening the door himself and breaking his own shell, witnessing his own downfall and his own release, to the containment and the weakness; he was opening to what made him fully human, like the others, with his mistakes and blindness, releasing a part of him, that he had kept in control for so long, and all those feelings that enveloped him in his worst moment.

At what point was he lost and became so clueless? At what point did he start building up that many loads and barriers? At what point did he block and stop experiencing?

And at what point did contain a lot meant the best?

He rested his head in his hands and let the tension of his body leave, to be drained of what he felt that overcame him, to stop holding and breathe… and, at least, to do something to soothe the pain and… and…

He covered his eyes with his fingers, finally giving a deep breathing, which came as a breath of something fresh and new.

He felt his shoulders weighed less, that his hands were stronger, that his body gained energy, that in his mind lifted the veil covering it; that he was more self-possessed than in recent days.

Therefore, it was time to move on.

 **[…]**

Naoki discovered the healing property of tears after his body had quieted completely, and the next day his usual composure had returned, but he felt regenerated inside, aware that internally he wasn't the same as before, beyond his changes in recent months.

It made a big difference to empty and express, without saving everything, _at least to himself_.

He was aware of the reserve of his personality, which he tended to show to the world, even unconsciously; but also, at least a little and for those closest to him, he could make exceptions that didn't disturb him too much.

He knew that with Kotoko it would be essential, if he got a chance with her.

No, _when he got a chance_. He was not going to let go the most important thing in his life, because he knew he had ruined it, but he loved her and was going to do what it took to get her love back. Even if it meant begging—in his way, or really do it, though he expected not to at the end.

This time he had to do things the right way and open himself to her, getting her back would depend on it. He had to fight to get her back; he simply could not imagine living without her.

He was already over his moment of self-pity, of suffering for his mistakes and her rejection, so it was time to plan and use all his strength and skills to have her on his side.

He respected her decision, but the hope that a part of her still loved him, moved him to try and to fight. She was so genuine and had a big heart, so he kept faith that a tiny particle of her kept her love alive, and that served him.

Only when he was sure that she did not care or want anything with him, he would stop…

He would think about it now, he must remember and catch her optimism; he would cross that bridge if it came to it, just then.

Moreover, he knew Kotoko still loved him, because it wouldn't have been so painful for her if she didn't. As it affected him deeply, it must have been the same for her.

Naoki allowed himself a smile looking at the doll on the bookshelf. He had to pick up the pieces left by his mistake and amend it would be a slow process, but worth it.

The happy expression of the small Kotoko was as a vote of security and confidence.

Ironic, he thought it was convenient not having found, nor sought, a very good excuse for not putting the doll in his room.

Stupid ex-classmates had not been so wrong by giving it to him after the exams.

He sighed thinking of exams; just five days left to deal with Kotoko. This time he would respect her request and once her test was over, he'd approach her. It would be enough time to calm and to plan how he would talk to her.

What to say? How to say it? Under what circumstances?

He'd get his answer in those days; he was sure.

 **[…]**

His father looked really focused on the newspaper and Naoki had the opportunity to observe furtively at Kotoko, who breakfasted in silence, repeating the signs that seemed root on her mind (once he reflected, he understood that the recent discharge of his father and his conversation with his mother had affected her in the test). She had come out of her cave after several days locked—he didn't want to think very thoroughly why—, so he had the opportunity to finally see her.

Although she did not know, he knew she would not really notice his scrutiny, because many times he had watched discreetly, without her noticing. The task was easier; he had the _ability_ that his face and intentions did not seem very clear while looking at him, and a good memory that helped his surreptitious glances.

This time it was a little difficult to look at her, though. He could recognize the sadness within himself for being the cause of her off attitude, not like her, though she could pretend quite well if his father looked at her—fortunately, his mother was not there.

If he didn't know that there was another reason to be so, he could also be fooled that her current mood and tired appearance was due to her constant study, than to anything else. He knew she gave much importance to the latter, but was aware that the other thing could have weight too.

Thoughtfully, he kept eating the dorayakis he had made, enduring the sweet, and continued to wait patiently for her test to pass, to take action.

Right now, he wanted to hold her hand and take her to a place where they were alone and he could speak honestly with her; he wanted to embrace her and be able to breathe with the peace that she gave him; also, it would mean that she was his completely.

But he had to wait; and although he wasn't impatient, at that moment he felt the anxiety of the unknown and the pressure of the running clock, which was slow enough to hit a nerve at some point, if he were only focused on waiting and not have his mind on what you do.

"I'm going," said his father, leaving them alone after doubling the newspaper.

Both he and Kotoko nodded, silent.

"Don't stress a lot, Kotoko-chan, you'll do well," added his father, smiling at her, who curled her mouth slightly, before eating, faster than before.

Surely to quickly leave the table.

His father put on his jacket, which now seemed some sizes bigger, and left the room, whistling happily, happier than Naoki could feel at the moment.

He realized, when he heard the sound of the door, Kotoko hurried to finish her breakfast (an achievement for him, having trapped her with her favorite dish), without even looking at it. _So she could left_.

He would be stubborn (and foolish), but he was genuinely concerned for her, her fatigue of the reclusion, and her results. "Do you want me to evaluate you?" He tried out in a neutral tone, just to hear her speak in his direction and demonstrate a white flag in the other matter, truly interested in her test.

She lowered her head and he gritted his teeth when he saw her squeeze the fork. He breathed in; he knew it'd not be easy.

"For your exam, Kotoko. Just that," he said in measured tones, to convince her and to help her, to at least spend a single moment in her company, for her sake.

It was like having reversed roles, but he didn't need to think about it now.

"I want you to pass, because I know how important it is for you."

Kotoko cleared her throat as he felt his breathing stop for a moment.

"I…"

"You can deny you if you want," he offered, reminding accurately of his past failures, to not push her or give het the impression that he'd impose his will.

Although it infuriated him have been able to achieve that serious damage and influence on her. Once he thought her ways were nuisance and ridiculous and now he missed her in that way… especially because in the end, it didn't turn out to be terrible, and she ended up being to his liking, to the point of being content with the aspects involving her personality.

It was so contradictory the things achieved by his _great_ plan.

"I'll do in on my own," she whispered, standing up with her plate to get into the kitchen.

Listening to the water running in the next room, he exhaled, resting his elbows on the table, without reproach to her rejection, thinking of those countless times he offered negatives to her advances and those when she wished his closeness.

It was like a door slamming on the face, especially when his intentions were good.

Definitely, it served to give him a taste of his own medicine, and he could not convince himself that she did it in order to harm him or for disinterest on him; she did it for herself.

A sudden thought made him consider if he had made her cold like him, but a glance at her crestfallen departure forced him to dismiss it. Hers was self-protection, different from his, and he couldn't blame her.

He wouldn't forgive himself if he had changed her in a stony-faced—even hurtful—person, like him. Although it was also impossible to do so; she was much warmer and truly noble… besides… Kotoko had expressed what she felt and not kept it within her and had a better connection with her emotions and feelings than he had, for sure.

His hand became a fist and he rubbed his eyes, irritated and frustrated; he settled into his chair and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling, emitting audible breaths, as snorts. He hated that.

He preferred she screamed at him and blurted out many things, because _indifference_ was a thousand times worse… _he already knew how it affected_.

In addition, it would be worse if he reviewed carefully each of his actions.

(Neither would he suffer, as it wouldn't serve for his cause.)

A chill on the side of his neck made him tilt his head toward the entrance of the dining room; he felt watched, but it must have been his imagination, because there was no one and the only ones left at home were known by their inability to be silent when walking.

He sighed; he'd have given anything in exchange if he had turned to see her there.

And it was impossible, as things wouldn't be easy.

This time, they wouldn't.

* * *

 **AN:** _I had some problems to translate this chapter, he,he. Mostly, because even in Spanish this was hard to write._


	33. Between expecting or deserving

**Chapter 33**

 **Between expecting or deserving**

* * *

For Naoki, there was a limit to feel pathetic, and that was his current action. He was in front of the mirror, watching his violet orbs, hallucinating details that went beyond the impossible.

He had been observing himself for a moment, after shaving, and his conscience led him back to the reason for his restless nights, where he just gain some energy.

He had thought about Kotoko and something tiny changed in his eyes—perhaps it been there before and he got used to—, which appeared without his control once he had her in his mind. It was something light that should only exist to his scrutiny, or maybe it was there and it was what others had seen.

Therefore, that was why he felt pathetic. He knew she was the only woman he wanted, but then to notice… _imagine_ something like it, a change in his eyes, was too much out of character.

That was the consequence of the uncertainty and the waiting, and the sadness he had with just seen Kotoko for a moment, with her shoulders slightly drooped and her eyes downcast. Maybe she was very strong, in his opinion, but there were times when she could not face the world with an unshakeable facade.

Or only he was aware of certain things.

It relied heavily on perception. Perhaps he saw more than it was. Maybe yes, maybe not. Perhaps the wait that was eating him inside and his vain attempts to focus did not even work a little…

Again, already tired of it, he found himself sighing.

At least, it was Saturday, and there were two days left to her recovery test, which marked the limit he was willing to wait.

He left the bathroom and sat in front of his laptop. Today, they were supposed to resume their tennis practice, but the circumstances made it impossible. He had to admit that he was used to do it during the year, even if he never had a real game.

Probably he gave many things for granted, intentionally or not, and they all came to him now; or also, when a really important event occurred, the mind just thought about it.

The point was that in those days he had reflected more than in all his life. He did not occupy his mind in the books and not using reading as a distraction, but spent his time thinking and analyzing, so that his mind worked on something that didn't interest him before.

There the reason for reading a lot, because occupying his mind prevented him to find the substantial or insubstantial in his behavior.

And it was tiring, mentally exhausting; a few times, it was like going in circles, or reach high walls, but after a few moments, he found the key that opened the door that appeared out of nowhere, or he managed to break the obstacles or create paths where before he thought impossible.

He had begun with moments of his own childhood, up to today. So many things took on a new perspective, he could see different or not give the same connotation to past events.

He slightly shook his head; thinking about what he struggled to do the most. Two moments that marked his personality; the first, when others discovered he was a boy using dresses for his mother desires; the second, when he made an exhaustive observation with his superior skills, which earned him being excluded by his classmates, whom he started naming—in his mind—as stupid people.

He had kept his feelings, as his mother had said, so he wasn't hurt, because his child ego had felt hurt by something that he currently saw with no great importance. In addition, by not allowing himself to feel at an early age, with his intelligence, neither was he given the opportunity to understand the emotions, consequently, making the habit of putting them away. Nevertheless, there was also the fact that he didn't see linearity in feelings, they had no clear order and constantly changed, and he felt comfortable with the control, which did not alter or give surprises.

And now it was different; he no longer had the iron hand on things, nor did he choose to feel superior to show others that their different skills were a reason to despise them, because they could teach him different things.

He knew it perfectly, thanks to Kotoko; as well as he knew that on several occasions, he was wrong with her.

He had discovered reality. Those mechanisms that protected him for a long time have faded a bit.

He hoped that the different he felt was enough not only for him but also for Kotoko.

 **[…]**

"Naoki-kun."

Hearing his name from Shigeo-san, with the suffix, told Naoki that whatever he wanted to communicate wouldn't be much to his liking, although it didn't have a serious tone to feel dismayed. Kotoko's father used to say "Naoki", in the same nice voice he used now, but not with a slight wrinkle between his eyes (perhaps he had more concern than anything else).

"Oji-san." He accepted to enter Shigeo-san's room; the man closed the door once he was inside, occupying the chair offered.

Naoki felt reticent about what he might want to talk that Sunday morning, in private, mainly by recent events; however, his face did not seem angry or offended.

"Yes?" he murmured, forcing himself to look into Shigeo-san's eyes, even if inside he felt slightly embarrassed because he had managed to do what _he had promised not to do_. He had hurt her, and he hadn't been honorable, even if intimate affairs were something that he should not explain to the other, nor the man should interfere in an extreme way.

Shigeo-san rested his elbows on his legs and sighed. "Kotoko told me you broke."

To hear it from the lips of someone else was a little hard to take, but he nodded, wrinkling his mouth in clear opposition to it.

"Before she told me… I had been thinking about recent events of Iri-chan and the company, and you… and had decided that she and I should move…"

Naoki remained impassive to it, hoping he finished. He knew, for Kotoko, that information.

"The reason was that we weren't a burden and, as a family, you have the opportunity to be together without third parties. I thought a lot and looked for options, it wasn't completely sure and I haven't talked to your parents; but… with your breaking…" Shigeo-san cleared his throat. "It seems the best that we leave… though I grieve because you looked good together."

He gulped, nodding, speaking when he thought Shigeo-san would not continue: "What happened, it was a misunderstanding and I intend to fix," he said without hesitation. "Shigeo-san, you don't need to move. You are family and… I want to marry Kotoko, she is the woman I love," he expressed sincerely, looking at the dark eyes of her father. "Perhaps not marry now, but until she finished college, but I want to get your permission and blessing; of course, if Kotoko wants it too."

Shigeo-san opened his mouth a few times. "I do not wish to intrude…" he said. "Nor go against what she wants, it's just… if… she… you know how she is?"

His mouth curved into a slight smile. "Yes, I know she's not perfect as some men would want in a wife; but she's enough for me." He allowed himself to say aloud, taking into account his trust and because, with the most important person to her, he should assure that he'd take care of her as he really should have done from the start. Kotoko was everything to him.

Shigeo-san cleared his throat. "Then if Kotoko agrees, you have my blessing, Naoki."

He bowed his head for the vote of confidence. "Before talking to my parents, I want to have time to talk to her."

"It's okay."

 **[…]**

Naoki ate the last of grilled fish that he and his father were having for lunch, the two alone in the house—because the Aihara were in the restaurant—, when the sound of the door made them raise their heads.

"We are home!" Cried his mother with her usual effusiveness, and both looked at the entrance of the dining room, where she and Yuuki appeared with the company of his grandmother's Saint Bernard, who flopped by his chair.

"Mama! Yuuki!" Greeted his father smiling. "And Chibi?"

Yuuki laughed, taking out the leash of the lazy animal that barely raised his nose at his name.

His mother gave warm hugs to his father and him, who only sighed, causing her to separate and narrow her eyes at him, before smiling once again.

"Chibi will stay with us some time," announced his mother. "Yuuki spent so much time with him, and begged my mom, so she gave it to us a few weeks."

He snorted; he knew who would repeal the idea, but what could be done? He was not going to throw out the dog nor sadden his brother with it, and it would be impolite.

"And Kotoko-chan?" his mother asked taking a seat at the table, frowning.

"Ai-chan made her go to the restaurant because she spends many hours studying in her room," explained his otōsan, pushing his plate to put his arms on the table. "She has worked hard to pass."

"Oh, Kotoko-chan!" Whispered his mother with her hands clasped to her chest. "Tomorrow I will make a special breakfast with lots of protein for her test."

"She's going to need more than that," said his brother with a mischievous smile, patting Chibi.

" _Yuuki_ ," he warned him, frowning.

"I won't tell her," his brother replied shrugging.

"Yuuki loves to Kotoko-chan, don't you?" his mother interjected in a singsong voice.

His brother straightened with his eyes narrowed. "No, who can love that _baka_?" He asked, crossing his arms.

Naoki shook his head softly, watching himself, a long time ago, in his brother. His parents laughed. Had he looked that way, refusing the inevitable? Yuuki's tone had been almost of given up, and his _baka_ had sound with esteem.

What a blind and naïve person he was, almost to the level of a child. Big sign of maturity on his part.

"I missed being at home," said his mother, raising her arms festively.

He laughed softly along his father, aware of the hidden meaning of her words, her family. Also because she no longer considered Saga prefecture as her home.

He saw his mother for a moment, saying nothing; her presence gave back some normalcy. He expected other things to do the same.

 **[…]**

"Where are you going, onii-chan?"

Naoki finished putting his shoes and looked at his mother, who was holding a knife in her hand, coming from way to the kitchen.

"University," muttered, turning to escape the scrutiny of her face, as the one she gave him at breakfast, when she laid her eyes on him and Kotoko repeatedly.

He knew that for his dramatic and cunning mother, things were happening, which meant doing plans to meddle. It had only taken her a half day to repaire the anomaly of her _beloved daughter_ and him (for her gaze, she blamed him, guessing right); he didn't want to think what would she have done being there the last week.

In part, he thanked her absence; but, on the other hand, it would have been convenient her meddling so he didn't get things wrong.

However, if for her, since the beginning, had been clear that he met Kotoko and made her his girlfriend due to the condition, it showed that she always was one-step ahead and didn't intrude all the time.

He looked over his shoulder at his mother; perhaps he gave her too much credit, too much wisdom, and wit, but he began to support the idea of his resemblance to her on many things.

She analyzed him thoroughly. "Kotoko-chan knows, right?" she asked softly.

He dropped his shoulders and nodded, turning his body slightly. He thought, for a moment, that it wasn't accidental that Kotoko listened… but then he remembered that the last thing she wanted was to hurt her, or him; though she often did things that take him to his limit or went against what he wanted, which he deserved. Perhaps she had learned from his childhood and she had not realized it, just did things her way.

He shook his head in denial, he would not analyze his mother; it would cause a headache and he would not get the right answer. And it was not important at the time.

"Don't say what you would expect to listen." She said as she went back to where she came from.

He frowned and nodded to himself, turning his attention to the door to leave home and face what would happen. At least she hadn't said not to expect what he wanted to listen.

 **[…]**

Naoki looked at his watch; it was more than half an hour after his estimation of Kotoko ending her test. While he waited outside the building of Social Studies, not so quiet despite being holiday—it must have been that many were taking tests again—, he had not seen her red hair.

He felt worried that it had gone so wrong that she didn't leave the place, because it'd delay her college years.

He snorted without looking away from the entrance of the building, in which at that moment went out a blonde girl. He dropped his shoulders in disappointment.

It unsettled him the pass of time with no signals of Kotoko.

"What are you doing here, Irie?" He frowned with the woman questioning him at his side and directed his view to the right.

The tallest friend of Kotoko, who spoke, next to the plump friend, looked at him with a frown. For him, the feeling of dislike was mutual, after last Christmas. Of them, he supposed Kotoko had trusted them with the problem.

"You have nothing to do here", said Jinko and he huffed, disinterested in the opinion that they had.

Although he was less upset, by the support they were demonstrating for Kotoko.

"You do not say anything?" Satomi asked. "We were right to advise Kotoko."

He resisted the urge to frown and require clarification, but he knew that she would reveal what was going through her mind.

"Yeah," supported the other, crossing her arms. "Kin-chan," his body tensed hearing the name, "is eager to ask Kotoko tomorrow to give him a chance."

"And we told her it was the best to do, you don't care for her; he will value her more than you do."

"And he loves her, he has for a long time."

It took all his restraint to keep listening calmly, he wanted to hit something thinking her words sink in Kotoko and led him to accept that guy, who was willing to take the chance now that they were not a couple because of his mistake.

"Oh yeah?" he whispered, raising an eyebrow, turning his attention to the door.

 _Ikezawa could try._ He was not going to stand idly by.

She was better with Ikezawa? Before he could have believed it, but now his view was very different.

"He fights for her and he deserves her," Jinko said. "Not someone like you, Irie."

Sigh. "And how do you know?" he asked aloud, sarcastic. They had exchanged… what? A hundred words, more or less?

They knew Kotoko but could not say anything about him, less with their inability to understand him, when he barely did it.

"We know that he loves her and has been in love with her. And what's best for Kotoko."

"Weren't you the one that push her towards me?" he replied ironically, causing both to stay with their mouth open.

He appreciated that they defend her, but he'd not allow them to overstep certain limits. Mostly when they pushed Kotoko into the arms of that stupid, which the only recognition he should give was his devotion… he hated to ask himself if Ikezawa might be suitable for her, for his persistence.

Yes, he feared the guy, with his insistent personality like Kotoko's, given the chance, got to win her heart, as she did with him.

"Anyway, she already left," said Satomi after a moment, "an hour ago. We accompanied her."

"What are you doing here?" he asked, not quite believing it.

"We walked by and saw you."

"Our building, of Arts, is next to this."

Watching their faces and recognizing the truth about it, he knew he had no place being there.

"Where is she?" He asked, swallowing pride, because now that did not serve and they could know her whereabouts.

"She went home," whispered Satomi. He bowed his head in gratitude and took the way out of the campus, walking in long strides to reach soon the station.

Just a second he looked over his shoulder, checking that Kotoko did not come out of anywhere, and was watching him from afar.

 **[…]**

Again, after breakfast, Naoki cursed, not having the address of Kotoko's friend, with whom she had been last night.

Upon arriving home the day before, his mother informed him that Kotoko would sleep at Satomi home's, that she had put her things in a bag and gone long before he returned.

Kotoko had refused his mother's request of waiting for him, as she said, and he had felt frustrated because there was no way of knowing where the friend lived. Said friend, surely, had delayed him the day before, so that the other had enough time to run away and hide.

Quite a coincidence, but it had been.

He was afraid that Kotoko chose to avoid him, staying at her friend's home until her father decided to leave home, though his mother had said that she only took two sets of clothes.

He didn't know if she would come earlier that day, or if she would do until the night; however, the circumstances made it clear that in the early hours of the day she would not appear.

He had barely slept, mulling over how could he get the address of the friend, and the only option left was Ikezawa, although it was clear that the other would not provide that information.

Tokyo was not as big territorially, but it was stupid to go out and to find a home without an idea to make to decrease the options. The friend's name was very common.

Deciding to move out of the bedroom, not like a caged lion, he grabbed his things and left his room to the stairs, descending rapidly.

Maybe Ikezawa would give him the answer; Satomi had said he'd asked for his chance that day. He could follow him and get her whereabouts. Or he could opt to ask the English woman, who was interested in the cook.

With this in mind, he reached the front door, changed his shoes and left without saying goodbye…

…in the most decisive time he had to face.

That time he could not wait the subway, so he ran for a taxi and went to Fugukichi, not knowing if he was fortunate to arrive strangely fast, or that he was so distracted by the situation that reality seemed different.

What he knew was that his heart cracked by the absence of the blonde-haired woman, and by the ignorance of the whereabouts of Ikezawa, which increased his desperation and desire to pull his hair.

"He's on a date with Kotoko," Satomi's voice said at his side, at the other side of the bar where Shigeo-san asked his employee.

Both he and Kotoko's father opened their eyes in astonishment. And he swore inside.

"I don't know where," added the friend, shrugging with a sigh; he noticed conflict in her face.

He nodded, said goodbye to Shigeo-san and left the restaurant with a heavy chest.

When the light of the bright sun of spring get to his face, he felt apprehension and resignation, rather than the good spirits that could offer the season. He could not walk around the city; even if he toured the sites for a date, there was no guarantee of finding them.

He felt his hands tied, entirely frustrated by circumstances. His heartbeat hurried as his head tried to solve the puzzle without good results. All escaped his control and it was bothersome; also, it caused him so much impotence, his intellectual ability didn't matter when it didn't serve in things concerning a loved one and the major obstacle in which he was.

He ran a hand over his forehead and pulled out all the air in him.

Then, the other side of the street, as if it were a miracle, he saw an unmistakable red hair, next to a tall guy with black hair with gel.

"Kotoko."

He followed them with his eyes, as he addressed the crosswalk, so he didn't lose them. He took a step forward willing to cross, but at the time, a truck passed, having changed the color of the light.

He almost said a curse aloud, hoping his vision would be free. But behind was another truckload; it was an evil spell that there were food shops and restaurants.

When they had passed his eyes turned to the direction in which he saw them and gritted his teeth when he didn't find them. The traffic light changed and he hurried to cross. On the other side, he dodged passersby at a brisk pace, using his height to see if there was Kotoko's orange hair between the sea of people who walked the streets that Tuesday.

He reached an intersection and looked everywhere and found nothing.

He turned his eyes to heaven, wondering if it was a joke his excellent fortune in that year.

Naoki chose a path where there were more establishments; but half an hour later, it proved to be in vain.

A mockery of life, mostly for the image of Kotoko and Ikezawa together.

 **[…]**

He could not be so cursed, Naoki thought, leaning against the wall of his house, next to the front gate, hands in his pockets. He was waiting there to intercept Kotoko before she went it; it was the most desperate and inconvenient way to approach her, after a day of going around in circles.

Night was falling, the clock showed almost six past the meridian, and she should show up there in a short time, as it was her habit of not coming home if the clock passed seven.

He raised his head again when he heard a series of steps, then he lowered his eyes; it was the third time it happened in the ten minutes he had there.

He wondered if it was so out of him to do that, but he dismissed the thought just for that particular situation. He would not be so reserved once he managed to recover him, he'd only not be so…

He heard footsteps and his eyes fell on her little feet.

"Kotoko," he said, straightening up.

She looked at him shocked, backed and turned, breaking into a run.

It did not take even half a second to go after her, concentrating all his energy to reach her, which he made much faster than she would have expected. Still, the place where they stopped was the park.

"Kotoko," he repeated, holding her wrist, preventing her to continue forward.

Fortunately, there was no one else in the park, or it would have hindered his mission, when he saw her struggling to get loose, turning to hit him in the chest with her free hand, trying to escape.

He did not put impediments to do so, because he had the slightest suspicion that she did it to vent and get even, although deep down her attitude caused him a source of discomfort.

"Enough! Enough!"

"Let me explain," he requested, amid her punches and tugs.

"No!" she cried, shaking her head. "You'll confuse me again. And I do not want to!"

He was surprised that she just felt confusion and anger towards him that time.

"Why?"

"You used me! You lied to me!" she blurted, without moving. "You're a liar who only played with my heart and you took advantage of me!"

He let go of her wrist. This time, though hurt, he was more prepared to listen and face her.

"You made me your girlfriend just for convenience!" She looked at him angrily. I spent two years deceived and derided, devoting completely to someone with a cold heart, who does not care about anything but himself, to whom I do not matter in the least… Although sometimes, you acted as if you did and even you suffe… No!"

He denied.

"But it was a lie. You just care what you want and need. Leave me alone! Let me continue my life! Let me fall in love with someone…"

"Is that why you accept dates with Ikezawa?!" He interrupted with containing himself, shortening the distance between the two.

"Dat… And why do you bother?!" Kotoko snapped pushing him with both hands, not getting him to back away. "I am nothing to you! You only want a woman to take advantage of her and have her for your convenience! There are many that delighted would accept to be with you! I want to be happy! Kin-chan loves me! He has loved me for four years!"

He clenched his hands.

"He do loved me all this time!"

"And just for that you have to love him?!" He bellowed.

"Yes! Because he isn't a liar and has a heart! He has fought for me and he deserves to be given a chance and to be loved by me! He's worth it! How could be well for me to love someone who does not love me and hurts me?!"

"But you don't love him!" He disagreed, feeling his heart beat faster when he repeated her last sentence. _She loved him_. "You don't love Ikezawa, you love _me_!"

He didn't see coming the throbbing pain in his cheekbone… so he opened his eyes as much as Kotoko, while her hand remained open in the air, after slapping him.


	34. Of giving and making efforts

**Chapter 34**

 **Of giving and making efforts**

* * *

Neither managed to react for a moment, crossing their gazes.

Naoki was stunned with the burning in his cheek and the amazed eyes of Kotoko as the sole focus of his attention. He would never have thought she would do something of that style, although he could admit he deserved it from her, after what he had said.

He blinked. It had been positive that she had slapped him, or he would have continued an argument that would worsen his situation. And nothing would have finished as he had expected.

Yet, actually, in his head, he was not so sure of what he would do, because his brooding on it gave him no satisfaction.

Collecting air, he put his fingers around her wrist and lowered her arm. "At first, my intention was to have a girlfriend to meet my father's condition," he began, not taking his eyes off her. "I told him I didn't want to be his successor in Pandai because I wanted to find out what to do with my life. He put me as a condition to introduce a young woman who assured him that I would settle down and help him fulfill his other desire, to have grandchildren." He sighed. "It happened the day before you gave me your letter."

» In light of that, I considered having a girlfriend to concentrate on what mattered to me, figure out what to do with my life, I had nothing that interested me. Then it felt right to get a girl to make my girlfriend and just focus on my future. You showed up, and yes, it was convenient," he admitted, closing his eyes for a moment; "but it was true what I said to your father, my intention was not to hurt you. I was a fool; I believed that, with you loving me and being who I was, it was good for my purpose."

His thumb circled on her skin, which rewarded him with a chill on her part.

"The truth is…" He smiled wryly. "I _forgot_ ; my mind put away the reason for making you my girlfriend after some time knowing you, and I didn't reconsider it until ten days ago, before you confessed knowing it. I knew you were not supposed to know about it, but it was too late."

Kotoko took a step backward.

"But I don't regret it. Otherwise, how would I have been able to know you?" He expressed, believing it.

"No."

A tear shed down her cheek and he stared at it for a moment, helpless, not daring to touch her and delete it.

"I… had never gone through so many strong emotions in my life; I was angry, jealous, thoughtful, happy, dazed, confused, hurt. I went through a number of new things for me, how was I to know what was going on with me?"

She let out a sob and he swallowed.

"Why… should I believe?" She whispered with a hiccup. "What if it is another attempt to deceive me?"

"My father, he… his condition was not serious."

"How can I believe you?" Kotoko looked away with eyes full of doubt. "Less believing I fell in love of a lie."

He felt like another slap from her. He decided to ignore it because he deserved those words.

"You didn't do it. Beyond the start, it was real. _I was real_."

She closed her eyes hugging herself. Then she opened them biting her lower lip.

He cleared his throat.

"I've realized that I'm not perfect and that you're the one who did not deserve to have me as your boyfriend," he declared. "But I want you by my side."

'Because I love you,' he said to himself.

"And I'll do what it takes to gain your trust, the time it takes," he whispered.

"How can I believe in you?" she murmured. "You don't even love me."

He opened his mouth, ready to tell her, but she refused gently, misunderstanding the long pause, and turned.

She walked away with slow steps, walking among the purple wisteria trees, hugging her body.

A breath of air lifted the few fallen petals of the cherry trees that bloomed before, and perfumed with the scent of wisteria, with the itching sensation that caused the flower.

Kotoko continued to move away from him. He felt a lump in his throat and his eyes stung because of wisteria. Was he going to lose her forever? Wouldn't he have one chance?

It could not be!

She was all he wanted in his life, the one that gave him true happiness; lose her, it did not compare to not get a dream, or feel a failure, or to experience living in a constant curse with his inability to connect with others for his differences with them.

 _It was a million times worse and more_.

She had given him a dream, and experiences, and _feelings_ to his life. Everything good that he had lived until then, had something to do with her. Intense emotions and moments that made him be more like other, more human. Without Kotoko, his life would be gray and… he could not handle that. _He needed her_.

He felt the pain of rejection… but Kotoko should feel worse; for him, she was always sincere in his feelings, and she lived in an illusion created by him and now it was difficult to understand his feelings were sincere. Even he would have felt incredulous listening.

He must rely on the sincerity and do something to show her that he cared for her, express that he loved her, in a way she understood and accepted what he felt. He refused to lose her.

He remembered the movie they saw on their first date. The protagonist resorted to sincerity, although he had done it before saying everything, but… he actually did not say how far his feelings were. If even they had slept together and he did not express anything. How did he expect her to believe in him? Could he lose for his pride and not talking openly just for once?

 _No_.

"No!" he shouted, startling her, but Kotoko did not interrupt her walk.

He walked up to her and took a deep breath.

"I did wrong…" He spoke in high volume, making her stop. "And _I'm sorry_ … _Forgive me_ for making you feel used and betrayed… for causing you pain. It was never my intention."

She turned, her eyes flooded with tears.

"I would have done everything before hurting you," he confessed.

Her eyelids fluttered repeatedly.

" _What can I do_?" He asked, lost to the core.

"I'm not supposed to tell you," she whispered, looking down.

"I'm awful at this," he admitted with defeat.

And then he knew; when she lifted her face staring at him in amazement. He knew what he could do.

He smiled broadly, as he knew had ever done, and counted to ten before speaking. " _Nice to meet you_ ," he said.

Kotoko raised a hand as if to slap him, and he held it in his.

 _"Nice to meet you, Kotoko Aihara. I'm Naoki Irie, a medical student."_

 _»_ _You do not know who I am, right?, but I do know who you are. For almost two years, I've known you and you did that this man that people call genius discovered that he is not. You can understand the simple things in a way I cannot quite understand and see the world the way I don't, but it's better than my perspective. You can make ten percent of things I do not and are much better in them than I can be._

 _"I admire you for being you and for making me get me the answers I had been looking for._ And more. _I have no hope of you accepting me… but I confess my feelings with all my heart_."

He put his arm around her and put his lips to her ear.

" _Kotoko, I love you_ ," he pronounced in a whisper, finally embracing her.

She leaned against his chest and he held her tightly in his arms, intending not to run away. He held her to make sure she was with him, that she was not part of his imagination, but that her smell and warmth give certainty that she was there, with him.

Moreover, because he had never felt such enormous need to hold her.

"You showed me that nothing else matters when you're by my side," he confessed, feeling his face completely red, betting for risk.

Kotoko separated, dumbfounded. "Naoki-kun," she whispered.

"Would you give me a chance?" he asked gently, in order to start all over with her and show her that what he wanted was to have her at his side. He could not _live_ without her, his life dependent of her, although he apparently _was alive_.

"Naoki-kun…"

"A chance until you trust me and you decide to be my girlfriend again."

Another breeze blew and she looked at him in a way that made him cringe in the heart. Her face expressed doubt, but he also saw her appreciation, and the struggle to give her heart again… for giving him the opportunity he craved.

Kotoko closed her eyes and breathed deeply, making him hold his breath.

And she answered.

He only saw her nodded once to take her lips.

The sense of triumph filled his being and he kissed her deeply, capturing her mouth and getting to feel that she was his, that he had her with him again, and that he had a unique opportunity to make her happy and show that her place was at his side. That, despite not deserving her, he could not be away from her. That even with his imperturbability, only she managed to pass his barrier and that, just with her, he would change part of his actions.

He slowed the pace of his lips against hers, with a salty taste that he did not want to feel again of her mouth, unless it was of joy, and took off slowly and gently, to support his forehead to hers, after what seemed like an eternity.

He opened his eyes and found her hazel ones.

What would become of him without being able to watch them so closely?

"Will you take care of me?" Kotoko asked, blinking.

"Yes," he whispered. " _Always_."

She sighed and he squeezed his arms even more.

Just the sound of the breeze blowing, and their breaths, remained in the place.

He felt calm had returned to his life, because she was back in his arms, she had come back to be part of his world, where he would not allow her departure.

He would have done so many ridiculous thing if she had not grant him the opportunity he asked, just to have her.

But also calm, because he was happy.

She was letting him have her back and he would not be stupid this time.

A sigh escaped him, holding her as if she were to escape.

It took seconds, minutes, hours, an indefinitely time, until they had to separate. "Let's go home," he said, separating reluctantly.

She, after a long time, smiled, and nodded. However, when he wanted to move, she stopped him, forcing the grip of his left hand.

"Forgive me," she said, her eyes focused on his left cheekbone, where she slapped him.

He snorted and shook his head. "I deserved it," he said, shrugging.

Kotoko frowned; he led his forefinger to her forehead, pressing it lightly. "Let's go," he said again, dropping his right hand at his side.

She nodded and squeezed his hand again, making the short way home in silence.

At home, the door opened before they could do it, and his mother appeared on the other side, shrieking just by watching them. She turned to yell multiple exclamations, which made others went out of the living room, even Shigeo-san, who was there that night.

He sighed; and only for the happiness he felt, he accepted the jubilant words of their parents, and the contented smile of his brother.

This time, such display wasn't as upset as he would have thought.

 **[…]**

Hours after dinner, even with the excitement of the day, Naoki was unable to sleep, so he left his room with the intention of going to the kitchen for a glass of water and then be quiet to have a good night's sleep, now that his martyrdom was over and Kotoko was his, thereafter.

He had felt so good when Shigeo-san gave his assent after dinner, alone, because, although it took time and effort, he'd get back Kotoko's confidence in him and get her to become his wife in the future. From that moment, that was his purpose.

He had a chance with her and he would not ruin it.

He left the kitchen with a glass of water in hand and went to the living room to sit on the couch for a moment, sipping his drink calmly.

Opening the door, he found a figure on the sofa, whom he quickly recognized as Kotoko.

She had an eye in the center of the table and she had not raised her head when he opened the door. Worried, he approached her, placing the glass on the table.

"Kotoko," he called, making him give a slight wince.

Even without looking at him, she spoke: "Dad and I should move out."

His heart raced as he sat beside her.

"I talked a lot with Satomi," she explained in a low voice, fidgeting with her fingers, "and I think I need to have a different relationship, I am used to living in the same house, so a normal relationship, separated, looks like a good idea."

He breathe. At least in the last hours she had not reconsidered being his girlfriend. However, it did preoccupied him a little that her friend had gotten her ideas that she did not like; influence in Kotoko, manipulate her, well, he did not see it as a nice idea now.

"Aren't you afraid that distance affects our relationship?" he asked her, feeling that he do it more to himself.

"I don't know; it's what I would like discover… I cannot go on if I don't know it. I have lived in a dream a long time."

" _Try some normalcy might not be so bad_ ," he said for her, who nodded.

That sounded logical, even weird coming from her. Although he felt dismay for being separated from her and give her a chance to fall out of love of him, it was something they needed. Or that Kotoko needed more.

He knew how hard it was what he felt for her, which had grown slowly, no matter if they lived in the same house—despite it influenced it—; he had to give her the opportunity to know her feelings, because the "relationship" they had seemed very one-sided.

He felt he owed it to her.

"That way you can concentrate in studying medicine."

"It doesn't bother me to have you with me," he showed his discomfort, shrugging.

She nodded.

He would bear to live in different homes, he thought. He could not see her every day, but he'd keep her close so she knew how important she was for him. It was not a separation in the full sense of the word, but a proof that their relationship could be kept and survive.

And she needed it, which was important.

Kotoko snickered. "All this time I have seen, heard and experienced things; I've thought a lot. Even though I need time to trust you again, I don't think it'd change what I feel for you, my feelings, even if yours…"

" _I won't change them_ ," he interrupted, holding her hand.

She finally looked up and smiled with a red face.

"Then at the end it will be good, right?" she asked in a hesitant and sweet tone that made her unique, that he could not help but smile in response and approach to kiss her forehead.

"Yes," he murmured, pressing her against his chest.

"Naoki-kun… today you talked more than usual," she said, whispering.

He smiled. "It was worth it."

 **[…]**

Thursday night Naoki sneaked into the room of his girlfriend, with the most innocent reason, considering that they had slept together in a bedroom.

It would have been too bold of him to think they would carry out those activities with her father sleeping steps away, and the house occupied; in addition, their relationship wasn't that good.

He smiled. He just had something he hadn't given to her the day he looked for her, which he had kept in his pocket and forgot about. Being honest, during the day or while she was conscious, he would not dare to give it, as it got him embarrassed, even if he told himself that he would make efforts for her.

That said, now, in extreme stealth, he went into the bedroom of Kotoko, who was sleeping peacefully in her bed, her hair tousled on her pillow, hugging his cheap imitation, as if she didn't want someone to take it away from her arms.

The image made him feel proud. At least she proved that she still cared a lot about him.

That did not mean he would take it easy, he admitted.

Shaking his head, he held out his hand to the bedside table, where the lamp was on, and took the bracelet, making move the trinkets. There was a heart, a happy face, a candy, a bow, and a flower, all given by his mother.

However, there was nothing given by him, and he had to change it.

Looking at his hand, he wondered if he it was not _stupid_ enough to place those three figures he had seen as he paced thinking. The meaning of a little man and a tennis ball weren't difficult to understand and accept for him, but the little Earth planet was too much. Very sentimental, if someone analyze it, especially if he was the one giving it.

Naoki sighed; he would place it because it didn't make sense to buy it and have it saved.

Carefully, he made room for everyone, checking at the end that the bracelet did not weigh too much, pleased to note that it didn't.

Then he left the bracelet where it was; she would realize it later.

He watched her again, before having to go and leave her. It did not look like anything disturb her sleep.

Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her lips before leaving.

 **[…]**

On the weekend, with sighs and tears of his mother, Shigeo-san and Kotoko moved to a small house, recently vacated, near the restaurant of her father.

It was a perfect place for two and a convenient location to transport, so she had the means to go to college, and it was a safe neighborhood.

Naoki sighed anyway, depositing the last carton box in the central room of the house. He had gone to accompany them to carry their belongings, but also with the idea of going later to the restaurant, to talk with Ikezawa.

He said goodbye to the Aihara with a momentary glance at Kotoko and left the neighborhood, crossing the road to go to the restaurant, which would open much later, though he knew the assistance of Ikezawa at that time of the morning, thanks to Shigeo-san.

He needed that the cook definitely finished his romantic intentions with his girlfriend. He understood that she had that quality to win the affection of others, but he was tired to have the other behind Kotoko. He would not do it intending to be cruel, because he knew what it was to love her, he was just annoyed to have him pursuing her and he wanted to make it clear that _he_ would be the one with her, the one who would make her happy.

In addition, Ikezawa deserved a little consideration after knowing that he supported Kotoko when he realized she was sad, which Naoki didn't know how to.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the front door of the restaurant, with a closed sign, and he went it, meeting with the dark-haired mopping tables and the English woman behind the bar.

They both looked at him.

"It's closed," told the man before cleaning again and Naoki, his hands in his pockets. Did he think he was stupid? He knew that it was a way to ignore him.

He nodded to the blonde, who understood and went to the back of the restaurant, directing a brief glance at the man from Kansai.

"I said we're not attending, Irie," said Ikezawa, mopping hard a table that looked very polished. "Go out."

"Kotoko is my girlfriend," he communicated taking a step toward the dark-haired. For him, she was, although he was on trial period. "Stop chasing her, Ikezawa."

The other played dumb and went to another table, which was already shining.

"If you want to stay as her friend, it is okay," he expressed, distrusting, " _but whom she loves it's me_."

Ikezawa looked at him for a moment, in silence.

"You don't know her, or know what she likes, you don't love her…"

"You're wrong," he cut, looking away. "You don't need her, and you can live without her… _I cannot_."

The other might have been those four years without her at his side, but he could not stand even a week away from Kotoko; and yes, he did not _depend_ on her to live, he just decided not to do it, because his existence lacked color and emotions without her at his side. It did not make much sense. Ikezawa, however, already had all that and on his own could be motivated and encouraged himself to continue his daily life, without Kotoko.

It was stupid to think that he could rely that much on the presence of a woman at his side, but to himself, he could admit the great weight that she had in his life.

Moreover, if Kotoko's happiness depended on someone, it was on him.

In addition, just with her emerged his true self; anyone else got that. Kotoko had an amazing effect on him.

"All right," whispered Ikezawa after a few moments. "But you'll pay if you hurt her again, Irie," threatened with a fist.

He curled his mouth into a smile, turning turn to leave the place.

He stopped at the door. "Be smarter and pay attention to what you have close," he advised over his shoulder, pointing an eyebrow at the place where the English blonde had been moments before.

He chuckled when Ikezawa blushed, and left Fugukichi without weight on his shoulders.

 **[…]**

Tranquility in a new day of school seemed strange, but at home, they already had a week and a half getting used to their routine before the Aihara, so it didn't seem to bother them too much.

Naoki would've believed that his mother would be downcast; surprisingly she wasn't, and with her chitchat, he dismissed the possibility a future depression by the absence of her beloved daughter at home. Perhaps that they kept in touch, and that Kotoko was still his girlfriend, had her at ease.

"Cream is a suitable color for a tablecloth?" she asked loudly over breakfast; it made them observe her with raised eyebrows.

"Mama?" Spoke his father with a confused face.

She laughed. "I have some plans."

"For the House?" asked his brother, continuing the conversation.

His mother nodded. "It gives me happiness."

He narrowed his eyes, but sighed after it. If decorated home kept her busy and helped her forget the the absence of his girlfriend, it was good, that way her enthusiasm remained on it. They could not object after she spent the first day sobbing by the lack of Kotoko under her roof.

Even Yuuki seemed slightly affected because she wasn't there, but was content to spend his hours with Chibi, or drawing, as a last resort.

He could not say he was very calm with that arrangement, he was just already getting used to the idea, especially when he was in contact with Kotoko electronically, which he would not have thought possible before. It was true that he didn't talk much, though; he answered to her and put more attention in not stop answering to the messages that required it.

Therefore, at least, it did not seem that the distance between the two enlarged. And he could see her on Saturday during their training.

"Yuuki, will you invite Konomi-chan to come home?" asked, and almost suggested, his mother, making Naoki shook his head, especially watching the pout that Yuuki put on his face, with his wrinkled brow.

"No, she's not my friend. She's one of the bad-ones in class!" exclaimed his brother, introducing a lot of rice in his mouth.

His father made a gesture of denial and ate his breakfast.

"But Yuuki, you could help her!"

"No way!" Bellowed his brother.

He stood to go to college, and put a hand on the hair of his brother, who had left to learn that such denial would get the insistence of his mother.

"Oh, it would be very exciting that she were in Class F and you in the A!" said his mother.

His father and he laughed, while Yuuki turned red of anger and surprise, Naoki didn't know which dominated over his face.

His mother seemed to have found the answer to the enigmas of the universe, smiling triumphantly.

He left the room with a mocking smile, checking his watch.

"All right! I will help her!"

Amused, he finished his morning routine to leave home; it'd be entertaining to see the stratagems of his mother with two children in sixth grade. For her, it was as if they were destined, not children close to their eleven birthdays.

He shrugged leaving his home and made his way to the station with a blank mind, reaching it soon.

He checked his watch; he was in good time.

The subway arrived quickly and he took it, occupying a corner, where he focused on reading a digital book of Pathology, which he was kind of advanced by then, even if still was the first day of the school year.

A while later, near the end of the chapter, he heard the announcement of his stop and kept his reader, preparing to descend into the sea of people who had packed the car in that Wednesday of beginning of classes.

He passed the turnstile and looked around, scanning the heads of those who were at the station, without finding the one he was looking for.

His eyes searched for the panel, where the arrival of the line Kotoko should take showed twenty minutes, meaning that if she had not taken the last one, she'd appear soon. There was a subway of that line each twenty-five minutes.

He checked his watch and snorted with his nose, going to one side of the station, without wondering of going. He'd wait for her.

Small and familiar hands took his right arm and he stopped, looking at his side to find the smiling face of Kotoko, with good mood to go to college. He knew her purpose was not repeating a test, as the one she had passed with remarkable note, but also he suspected that her joy came from seeing that he fulfilled with meeting her at the station to go to college together.

"Good morning," greeted her with her characteristic smile.

He nodded. "Good morning."

Kotoko released him and walked beside him to leave the station, humming a tune that he didn't recognize, although he suspected it belonged to one of the dramas she liked to watch.

He followed her on his periphery, attentive to the road, happy with her presence and that she seemed comfortable walking beside him.

He thought of her confession of not having a date with Ikezawa, but be helping Chris, and how that had been used by her friends… and even her.

Naoki had not reproached her anything. With what right? He had deserved it; it was something little considering his fault.

To his chagrin, the way to college was short and soon the campus appeared at his eyes, with the bustle of a new course.

In the distance, he saw a girl, classmate of Kotoko, waving her hands in greeting to her, inviting her to join her to go to their building.

He sighed and Kotoko offered him a smile, waving with one hand. "See you at lunch, Naoki-kun," she said, running to where the black-haired girl awaited for her.

He stared for a moment and thought that maybe it could be a truly successful year.

He turned and pulled out his cellphone, where he wrote a few words. He put it back to his pocket, knowing that sometimes he had to give in on something and reach a balance where his intentions were clear, without losing his style.

Naoki also knew that he had not earned her trust, and that every action counted.

He received an affirmative reply to his message, which made his mouth curl upward.

 _Yes, I'd love to go out on Sunday._

* * *

 **AN:** _I was almost sick with all this sappy. But, with Naoki's circumstances, he had to talk._

 _Before you think, Kotoko forgave him so easily, well, "personality"._

 _So, next chapter is the last one. Originally, this was it becasue I love open endings, but I wrote more xD. I'll post it soon._


	35. Making a difference

**Chapter 35**

 **Making** **the difference**

* * *

"They said that the English teacher was terrible and it is true," whimpered Kotoko at the lunch table, making Naoki laugh softly.

Two classes and she was already regretting choosing the teacher with the worst reputation in college, for strict, just because she wanted to learn. She'd suffer because of her choice, he noted.

"At least, your knowledge of English is not basic," he opined, and then ate his fried rice.

She made a face of suffering looking at the ceiling, before dropping her head to look at her food, which she started to eat with a smile.

"This year will be eternal," Kotoko muttered, and then got some noodles with her chopsticks, concentrating in her biggest love, the food.

It seemed that she forgot her problems with a full stomach.

He could not feel envious that she was happier with it than to be with him, it was childish; in addition, he was content that she was okay.

"Naoki-kun, will you still be in the tennis club?" she asked him, swallowing what she chewed.

Would she attempt to join at that time?

"My agreement with Sudou is for competitions," he informed, interrupting his meal.

She laughed. "Sudou-san will be happy to have Matsumoto-san only for him," she remarked, with a jubilant look. He rolled his eyes but nodded.

Watching her face, he took one of the two napkins he had on his plate and offered it to her. "Right cheek," he said when she looked at him questioningly, referring to the brown drop on her cheekbone, made by a noodle while she ate quickly.

That did not change in Kotoko; she lost track of around focusing entirely on her food and managed to keep some of it in the corner of her lip and her cheeks, which, pumped up, gave a funny image.

She passed the napkin in the area, with careful movements, until he nodded, looking for another sign out of place in her face; but there was none, especially with the smile that adorned her face and the glow that lit her hazel eyes, waiting not to erase it again, less by his cause.

"I'll join the ski club with Jinko and Satomi," she commented, "I hardly see them since we entered college; and Nakamura-sensei accepted me… And the boys of the manga club are very focused on their work and their new anime, so they agreed not to hold me in their club." She grimaced. "Although they want to convince me to use the cosplay and still be their image."

He smirked because she would not yield.

"Besides, thay way I won't get home early and I'll be less time alone in the evenings."

He frowned slightly. "You can come home," he offered, especially because his mother continually asked him to invite her. Only last Saturday she had achieved her purpose.

Kotoko shrugged. "I'm used to it and the restaurant is very close to spend my time there."

"Would that club neglect your classes?" he asked.

"No," she claimed, raising a fist. "I want to graduate from college. Although I have a lot of homework of English comprehension," she complained with shoulders down.

He denied, amused by the exaggerated expression she did.

"At least Chris said that we will practice our languages together," she added, recovering her spirits. "And she has offered to help me reviewing my homework."

"Tell me when she cannot," he said.

She was open-mouthed for a moment; then she nodded, giving him a smile.

Kotoko kept on talking, pausing to eat, referring to different topics not connected. He wasn't confused; he already had enough practice for her habit of expressing that way and his ability to understand quickly. More than half were childishness of her department, which managed to make her excited about the various events in which people were involved.

She recounted it as one of those dramas that she liked so much and he was sure that much of it was her own creation, or one from the young woman with whom she met in class.

He listened, responding only when so necessary, thinking that he liked her more animated as she was now, the way she always acted, though she showed moments of maturity, where only a few were able to notice them.

"Kotoko."

They both looked at the black-haired girls who were at their table, carrying trays of food.

"Sakura, Natsuki!" cried his girlfriend.

"Can we get free seats? There aren't much."

He nodded, aware of Kotoko's gaze on him, who also said yes.

"They are my classmates," pointed Kotoko, smiling at the two girls.

"Irie Naoki," he said neutrally, nodding in a short angle.

"Izumi Sakura."

"Saionji Natsuki."

The last girl was who spent more time with Kotoko; she had dark eyes, while the other had light ones. Moreover, in the conversation, she had named them as her career's friends.

"Nice to me you," he added, ignoring the piercing gaze from the one with the Sakura's tree name.

"The same way," replied Natsuki.

"Yes, until we can meet in person the genius boyfriend of Kotoko." The other said in a condescending manner before smiling broadly at his girlfriend. He watched her eyes too bright and appreciative, very similar to what… _Ikezawa did_.

Kotoko seemed oblivious to the way she her companion contemplated her, but he met the dark eyes of another student of Social Work, who nodded imperceptibly, confirming what he thought.

He shrugged, uninterested. He was not surprised that someone would like Kotoko, although she was unaware of the interest she aroused in that girl, who quietly carried her admiration for her.

It was a pity for the girl that Kotoko was his girlfriend and that he didn't think to give her to anyone interested in her. She should be content with thier friendship.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, before ringing, indicating that he should return to his building.

"I have class," he told Kotoko as he rose from his seat.

She nodded, waving her hand in farewell. "See you later, Naoki-kun," she said enthusiastically.

He looked at her for a few seconds and looked away to tilt his head toward her friends.

"Be careful in your way home," he whispered as he passed her with his empty tray, obtaining an acknowledgment on her part.

He walked away to place his tray and felt someone's gaze on him.

His eyes met those of Ikezawa, who should analyze his movements like a hawk. He held his gaze until the other jumped when the English came up to kiss him on the cheek, making him blush.

Naoki smirked; as in his case, he imagined what would happen with those two.

He looked over his shoulder at Kotoko, who talked with her companions, and walked towards the exit.

 **[…]**

Kotoko yelled her mantra, and immediately later Naoki made a service. When the tennis ball came to her, she jumped and hit her in drive with a lot of effort, getting it back to his side.

He hit the ball with less power, directing very close to where she was, so she could hit it and send it to his side. He continued to do so, increasing the strength and speed of his movements, to give greater difficulty Kotoko, who failed after the eight blow.

She let the racket go and dropped to the ground, spreading her arms and legs as if she were to make a snow angel, breathing hard.

Smiling, he walked to the end of the net and leaned on the stick of it, without a hint of fatigue in his body, entertained by her great overdoing, after her effort to have a very slow game.

She let out an excited squeal and stood, gyrating at her side of the court, as a victory, celebrating with different words having hit the ball more than five time, her usual amount.

No one would have believed, but she had improved _minimally_ in two years. He knew she could never play well, her progress was less than the one of a beginner; it was just that, only with her persistence, she had achieved to hit the ball more times.

If he did calculations, with the odds against that in favor, it would take her ten years to be an opponent to a novice.

However, only with what she had achieved, she was happy.

Naoki went around the net and reached out to take her arm as she passed him, stopping her and bringing her closer to him, circling her waist.

With his hand he put away some of her slightly damp strands from her forehead; then he lowered his finger in the outline of her face, neck, and arm, making her shiver. She stood on tiptoe and licked her lips with her tongue, before closing her eyes. Since the night they were a couple again, they had not kissed… that was twenty-five days.

He could go without kissing her for a while, but now, her emotion in her face and her victory dance tempted him. And being alone was the perfect opportunity.

He lowered his head while he helped her to cut the distance between the two, and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. He closed his eyes and his tongue traced the outline of her mouth, tilting his head when she opened her lips. His moved slowly on hers and he felt her hands rose to his neck, causing him a shiver when her fingers moved behind his ear; there he was sensitive to her hot touch.

His senses were concentrated on kissing and a long time passed; he felt unable to pull away from her yet, without accelerating the pace, enjoying only the softness of her pink mouth, and the excitement that filled his veins with his arms around her.

Kotoko sighed when his lips separated, and she rejoined her mouth to his, this time trying to steer her own pace, making him a smile over her mouth, hushing her moan when she failed to gain dominance.

She parted her face and snorted, causing his shoulders to move and laugh, amused, more when he opened his eyes and saw her pout and the wrinkle between her eyebrows.

Naoki pressed a finger that point on her forehead and broke the childish expression of anger away from her with the hint of a smile dancing in his mouth.

"Let's continue," he said, inviting her to turn around to pick up the racket.

She crossed her arms and stuck her tongue over her shoulder, as he walked to center of the court.

He just laughed.

 **[…]**

Friday of his third week of classes arrived very quickly, and soon Naoki was next to Kotoko, on the way to the station, with her praising her weekend and complaining the exhausting classes, opening her arms.

That day she had been in the library and her time to leave had coincided with his, something that happened twice in the week.

"I don't want mid-term exams to arrive," she said, once in the station, when they reached the turnstiles.

It didn't mattered for him; that day, he had one of his daily test, and actually, evaluations were not very bothersome for him, especially because he liked what he did.

However, he knew that she differed on that topic.

He frowned when he was going to say goodbye to Kotoko, who took the same route as him to go home.

"Where are you going? Your line is to the other side," he said. "Or did you forget it?" he asked jokingly.

On the face she put, she did it deliberately; so it had to be another invitation of his mother.

"Oba-sama wants me to dine with you," she informed him. "It's OK for you?" she asked later, with a honeyed smile.

He sighed feigning exhaustion, and shrugged. "I have to accept it," he answered drily, looking at her to show his amusement denying his words.

Kotoko chuckled and stuck her tongue. She was ahead of him, her back to the road. "Mean," she complained and he held before she hit the wall, where they were going to turn.

"You don't change," he murmured, shaking his head gently. "Watch out."

She put an embarrassed expression and jumped to pick his arm, without losing her good spirits. Exactly a month ago she had accepted him again and it was amazing she resumed her way of being, although sometimes he found her watching at him carefully, as if waiting for some sign from him.

He recognized being tested, but alone with Kotoko, no public, or in contact with her, he was at ease, and he wished that his natural way of acting with her, showed her that he was serious.

It would be a weigh how he damaged her and all their early history, but he would keep quiet.

They made the descent down the stairs with her prattling of a love story, until he hurried with her in tow, noting that transport was there and that people had already gone down.

The doors were closing.

Kotoko let out a series of laughter when they were inside the car, and he rolled his eyes, guiding her to the side. It was not too crowded.

In the end, he also let out a small laugh.

"Chris is very determined on getting a date with Kin-chan," commented Kotoko moments later, laughing. "She confessed to me that, after escaping from her ex-fiancé, she will be in Japan a year to get a boyfriend and learn the language better; her love for Japanese dramas led her to learn. Sounds crazy, right?"

He nodded, rolling his eyes.

"And Kin-chan flees her everywhere," she said in a tone amused, "but Chris says he is the love of her life; she sent a photo to her mother and she thinks she has very good taste."

He snorted, wondering what was going through the head of Western women.

"His okaa-san is famous," Kotoko continued. "She is an actress… and is very beautiful. She's from the nobility. Her otosan owns a bank…" She put a hand to her mouth, silencing a laugh with a guilty expression. "He said Kin-chan is a monkey."

He let out a laugh, finding funny the description of the English's father.

She could not hide her amusement and laughed as he watched her, looking remorseful when their laughter mitigated.

"I like Chris," Kotoko said. "And she has a well-defined goal. I support her. I want them both to have their happy ending, like us. They make very good…"

He froze as she continued talking, taking in her words. He was relieved, grateful to hear the opinion she had of both, and knowing that she was happy at his side, after what happened. His actions should be correct, and it was good; it wasn't enough _to know_ what he had to do but _carry it out_ ; at least, it worked to have her back, and have a stable relationship without the details of the past.

Suppressing a smile, he continued listening, while the way home continued.

 **[…]**

Naoki completed his dental cleaning in the bathroom on the ground floor, after a long time waiting for everyone to do it, and left the small room.

He heard his mother and Kotoko talking in the living room, where he went a brief moment to ask if she would go home with him, as the night had fallen. His mother had advance dinner time, just so she could be present and have the opportunity to return.

"Are you going back to your place?" he asked, looking at Kotoko, who was going to nod when his mother spoke.

"Kotoko-chan, accompany onii-chan for a while. He studies a lot in his room."

"But…" Tried to replicate his girlfriend.

"Onii-chan or dad will drive you later," added his mother, smiling.

He shrugged; also, he wondered why she insisted that she accompanied him, if she loved the company of Kotoko, and mostly, because he occupied the time to read before bedtime.

Then, while his mother gave Kotoko a book of knitting, she saw her give her a wink. He had to roll his eyes; it was clear that she sent her with other intentions.

What daring from her part, especially because he had the floor all to himself, and that her head was put on them having intimacy, even with the knowledge of others at home.

He avoided blushing, thinking of the last time the two were alone there.

 _If his mother knew._

But he would not take those courses, it was not essential in their relationship, though he desired her; he was content with her and that time had been a slip led by strong emotions; they didn't have to limit their relationship to the physical aspect. Also, in the future, there would be enough opportunity, and they were one-step at a time.

He preceded Kotoko on the way to his room, with the sound of her footsteps as sole companion, until he reached his personal space, where he indicated that she could enter after opening.

She blushed under the doorway of his bedroom, without advancing, and he let out a small laugh, aware of what was going through her head.

He turned to Kotoko, placing his hand on her head, a movement that to others resembled a caress.

"Come in," he invited impassive, and she took a deep breath, nodding to enter with her head down. "Take the place you want."

"Yes," she whispered, staying motionless in the middle of the room, looking around.

He purposely left the door open and then walked to his desk, where he took place and took the book of Pharmacology he was concentrated in those days.

He decided to give her space and turned his back, holding back from what she was doing. She had not had peeked into his room since they slept together, so she had not had a chance to settle entirely in her head.

After a few moments, he heard the faint sound of the mattress, so his interest won and he turned to find her lying on her bed, with her miniature copy in her chest and the book over her head.

The corner of his mouth arched into the image and he sighed, returning his eyes to the words in the medical tome, focusing entirely on it.

Much later, when her eyes were a bit heavy, noting that took it had been a while without hearing the sound of the pages from her, he took one look at the clock, realizing he had to take her home.

He shook his head and saw the page in the book, standing up.

"Kotoko," he called, arranging the table.

With no response, he turned.

"Naoki-kun," Kotoko mumbled, as he approached the bed; there he noticed that she had fallen asleep with the doll beside her.

He picked up the book on the floor and placed it on the nightstand, before laying his eyes on her.

He took the phone from Kotoko, which rested on her chest, squeezed by her hand, and chuckled, seeing a game of solitaire open. He turned it off and settled it on the book, sighing.

He took out his own phone from his pocket and pressed the screen to call Shigeo-san, who attended promptly.

"Good night, oji-san," he greeted as well.

"What happened?" asked his father-in-law on the other side.

"Kotoko fell asleep at home."

On the other side, Shigeo-san laughed. He should also know of her heavy sleep.

"Although you don't believe it, it makes me calm down," Shigeo-san said. "Today the restaurant is hectic; mainly because the clientele has increased since the presence of Christine. We'll be closing a little later; I won't have to worry because she's alone."

"Then I do not interrupt you more, oji-san."

"Thank you for contacting me. I know she will be well looked after. Have a good night."

"I wish you the same. Bye."

He hung up and looked at his girlfriend, before maneuvering to accommodate her under the sheets and help her be as comfortable as she could be in her current circumstances. It was good she used a skirt and no jeans, so he just had to release her hair and place her head on the pillow, where she settled in her sleep.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips, took his belongings to go and take a shower, leaving the lamp on his nightstand on.

Ten minutes later, trying to dry his hair as much as possible, he also decided to lie down and not to delay his sleep.

He closed the door and turned the bed to take the place of the left. He went to bed, turning off the light of the lamp and settled his body to sleep and closed his eyes.

However, before the sleep beat him, Naoki felt her lean, with the doll placed between the two. He made a slight exhalation and took the doll to place it on the table to his left, settling again, this time approaching the body of Kotoko to his, experiencing a sense of joy for having her at his arms at night.

He should expect much time for it to happen again.

He would be patient.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and let sleep surrender him.

 **[…]**

The next morning, Naoki was awoken by his mother. She chattered incessantly as she moved his shoulders, until he spoke letting her know he was conscious, forcing her to turn back to bed and call Kotoko, abruptly awakening her.

She was not attached to him as when he fell sleep, because at night he discovered the movements that Yuuki wrote in his vacations homework, which made Kotoko put distance between them at any time of night. He felt her moved for a few moments, but nothing of her bothered him to sleep.

Fortunately, for her night restlessness, his mother did not find them too close together.

He realized he had not set the alarm to wake up and go to practice, but he figured it had no great importance.

"What time is it?" Kotoko asked stretching just as he rubbed his eyes.

"Ten something," said his mother, making him blink in surprise.

He stood up and confirmed that it was, getting out of the bed, stretching his muscles in the process.

"Onii-chan, get dressed to go out," requested his mother, holding the hand of his girlfriend. "Kotoko-chan, I have clothes for you, a lot of I bought that you didn't take, come on."

"Why the rush?" he asked, frowning.

"After having breakfast we will go to a place that was remodeled, I want you to see it," announced his mother, making Kotoko stood, though she walked like a zombie.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his stuff, getting ready, as she wanted. He did not understand why his mother put so much interest in a place remodeled, but to avoid her insisting, he would follow her ridiculous orders.

He dressed in dark jeans and a blue shirt, passing a sleepy Kotoko in the hallway. She watched him confused a few seconds as she looked at her blue dress and looked around.

"Did I go back in time?" she asked, frowning.

He laughed. "Ahead," he muttered, heading for the stairs with her.

"Hey?"

"You fell asleep," he explained, shrugging. "I told your father."

He looked over his shoulder, getting a nodded. "Where are we going? We aren't going to train?"

"One of my mother's ideas," he said, descending. "We're not training."

"Oh."

She yawned.

"It's amazing you have sleep left after all you've slept," he observed, making her laugh.

"There's never enough sleep," she claimed.

He shook his head and ended the first flight of stairs, where he met Yuuki, who made a face of not knowing when he asked him with his eyes for the attitude of their mother.

"Good morning, silly," greeted his brother with a chuckle.

She stuck out her tongue. "Good morning, _otouto_. Do not forget I'm your _onee-san_ ," she mocked.

He stepped forward as their kept their childish fight and reached the first floor of his house, approaching the dining room for breakfast, taking just a seat when Kotoko came running.

"Thanks for the food!" She spoke before she took her food quickly.

He did the same at a more restrained pace, as his mother walked there giving they looks that intrigued him.

That gaze caused him a bit of reluctance on the inside, which continued all the way in the car, with his mother on the steering wheel; the other looked at the outside having the same puzzled expression as he squinted trying to think what kind of thing could cause such enthusiasm expression in his mother.

After half an hour away, without a word, his mother parked in a place full of residential houses, where he had not been before.

His eyes were curious about it, wondering exactly what kind of building could be there… completely distrustful of all of it.

"We're going to walk just a little," said his smiling mother, stepping forward to follow her.

His eyes analyzed the sidewalk as they walked, watching meticulously around.

"We arrived!" His mother stood with hands up and he looked surprised at the exact spot she did, watching a bell on top of a religious building.

"Why did I have to come here, Noriko?" He turned to the right, with an eyelid trembling, to the father of Kotoko, who closed the door of his cab and looked at them with a shocked face.

"For a wedding!" cried his mother.

The temple doors opened wide, showing inside their acquaintances; they were moving their hands, greeting them.

A wave of anger ran through him and he gritted his teeth, glaring at his mother. She, excited, was telling them that she had been planning happy the event.

 _Such insolence_.

His eyes turned away from his reckless parent and went to his girlfriend, whose brown orbs glittered in panic. With everything that happened for her to accept, his mother intended to push her, _push them_ (because he wanted to complete their education before marrying her) to join in marriage.

"Okaa-san!" complained, turning his eyes to his mother.

"Oba-sama," whispered Kotoko his side.

On his periphery, she saw her sinking.

It was too early for that. He wanted to marry her, but he wanted to do it differently… he'd only accept now if she agreed. However, her body language showed she was far from it.

If his mother had done something wrong before, she had beat herself now.

He closed the distance to his girlfriend looking at him fearfully, and bent down to her ear. "Do you want a race?" he murmured, only for her to hear.

A few seconds passed and Kotoko turned to him, her expression changing to a smile. Then she nodded.

He took her hand, prompting excited cheers from his mother, to whom he raised an eyebrow. She would be busy in the next few hours, he thought mischievously… vindictive.

They took a step toward his mother—others making space—and surrounded her, as she said she had the clothes ready for everyone.

"Come on," he whispered to Kotoko.

Then he ran with her, who followed his pace, walking as fast as they could to increase the distance between the madness of Noriko Irie and them.

Not caring for something else, they escaped, listening to the amazed screams at his mother behind, calling them.

 **[…]**

After a long journey, Naoki stopped, Kotoko imitating him, and both breathed agitated, recovering the air after a long run to be the farthest away from the temple.

They had run enough so his mother, with the imposition of her desire, her plans, didn't catch up to them. In addition, she would be very busy to cancel everything that she had orchestrated.

For a moment, he felt slightly guilty, but that changed as soon as he was sure it was right for both of them not to marry at that time, less with the doubts and the fear that he had seen in the face of Kotoko. It was clear that she would think that, had he convinced her now, it could be something related to the proposition of his father, even though he had assured her it wasn't real for his parent.

He took long breaths and looked up, realizing that the other side of the street was a park, in its entire spring splendor. There was a pond with ducks swimming and a couple of kids feeding them, people exercising and others walking calmly on that Saturday afternoon.

"I…" he looked at Kotoko. "Not right now…"

He put his hands in his pockets. "Do you want to feed the ducks?" he asked, as if nothing.

She gasped a moment, and then smiled with a nod.

"For now, I'm happy as your girlfriend," she said holding onto his arm.

Naoki laughed softly, though he felt pleased that she had said that for the first time.

They crossed the street and went to a stall, leaving her to order the food for ducks as he pulled his vibrant phone from his pocket, which he turned off without looking.

They made the purchase and walked to an empty bench near the pond. They sat there, oblivious to what was happening in the reality that they had neglected moments ago.

Kotoko, happy, began throwing food to the ducks, and he watched them, squawking happy, enjoying the calm of the moment, feeling happiness and fulfillment.

His eyes looked askance at his girlfriend, who smiled entertaining the birds… and put a concealed smile. Imperfect girlfriend for anyone, but then one for him.

Without turning, he placed a hand behind her back, feeling her waist in his fingers as she approached her body to his.

And in her company, he enjoyed the passing of time.


	36. The fate of the opportunities you take

**Epilogue**

 **The fate of the opportunities you take**

* * *

Naoki heard a squeal of excitement in the distance and raised his eyes from the magazine he was reading, sitting on a lounger under a beach umbrella.

His eyes saw first the white foam of the waves, advancing on the sand, and then it crossed with Kotoko, into the sea, fleeing Yuuki, who splashed a lot of water thanks to his puberty strength. His girlfriend laughed and waved, trying to keep enough distance from his brother, unfruitful.

He allowed himself to watch them for a few moments. After the return of Aihara to his home, six months after their departure, the relationship between his brother and Kotoko had been closer, although discussions between them remained; his mother said it was as if they were two real siblings, and he could agree on that point.

And now that his brother grew in size, the overprotective demeanor of Yuuki, for her, was more existing, especially because it seemed very likely that he'd be taller than his girlfriend would. The youngest of the Irie liked that—besides, Naoki thought with amusement, his brother was happier being able to surpass his _friend_ Konomi.

The current fight between Yuuki and Kotoko was another demonstration of how they got along, even while on vacation.

The six were in Okinawa; Kotoko had been working for a year and she had a few days off, which they took as an excuse to stay on the beach. He, well, was there only for her; he was in his final year of preparation for his medical degree, doing research while having his residence in the hospital, so he could be using his time in another thing.

Although he admitted that it was his own desire to be there.

Rolling his eyes when he saw his mother take photos of all with a water protective equipment in his inseparable camera, he thought it was perfect she did not insist that he went back to the water, since he had swum one hour before going to his current site.

His mother must have been holding back.

Suppressing a smile, his eyes returned to the magazine's article, which information would be of benefit to support theoretically his thesis.

But again, his reading was interrupted because of Kotoko, who sat in his chair.

He played dumb for a moment, knowing enough how to hide to her what he was doing.

"You should have a little more fun today, Naoki-kun," she said. Askance, he saw her pour cream on her hands to apply it on her shoulders and avoid burns from the summer sunlight.

"I assure you that I will have fun today," he mused, thinking of the night.

He closed the magazine and took the bottle to put a little of sun cream on the palm and continue what she was doing, reaching the site on her back that her hands could not cover.

Kotoko shuddered when he put his fingers on her naked back, which was visible by the swimsuit well designed to cover the places where she felt uncomfortable.

He, mischievous, delineated the curvature of her back with his index, up to a point behind the ear, where he bent.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, despite knowing the answer, the same she had given him a year after she accepted him back.

She tilted her face toward him and smiled. "Yes, Naoki-kun," she claimed before returning her eyes to the ocean.

He continued touring her back with his hand, venturing to apply the sun cream under the straps of her clothes. He knew it was unnecessary, but all the sun block was. His intentions was that she kept shaking.

He bent back to her ear.

"So, will you become my wife?" he whispered.

Kotoko tensed a moment and moved to face him, wide-eyed in disbelief. Then quickly pressed her lips on his, smiling.

"Yes."

However, her mouth formed a childish pout.

"But now it will be very difficult to get a date, you have very little time for your profession and my job… Oji-san has work to do with the fame of the company; not much, he would have time. Dad too. You and I are the ones who are busy… I think we should've accepted years ago… Oba-sama must've prevent something like this, it was very sill…"

"Let's do it here," he interrupted, smiling in a wolfish way.

She gasped, the opportune moment for him.

"We can?" She asked him, stunned.

He nodded and looked away from Kotoko to the sea, where the eyes of his family watched. He looked at his mother and gave her a nod; she let out a scream and ran excited towards both.

His fleeting fiancée gave him a sympathetic look, her face alight… the way he wanted her to look, overcoming the past events, a stage of their relationship.

"We must prepare, Kotoko-chan!" Exclaimed his mother, reaching out to them. "Finally I can officially call you my daughter! And I'll have granddaughters and grandsons! Oh, and I can finally see it! What a beautiful ring! Well done, onii-chan!"

"Ring?" He laughed at the surprised face of Kotoko when she saw her ring finger, where he succeeded in placing a ring while she was distracted. "Naoki-kun!" She yelled incredulously, trying to get close to him, while his mother made her get up from the chair.

"Come on, Kotoko-chan, you must make you more beautiful than you are," his mother said excitedly. "You'll look much better than your friend Chris in her wedding photos with Kinnosuke. I know! Oh! Yes! My Kotoko-chan and my onii-chan going to get married! I've been waiting for this moment so much!"

Naoki saw the two going away, Kotoko almost stumbling, and shook his head. He knew what it was to leave the matter in his mother's hands, but he did not think it could have been otherwise. Once Kotoko had commented that they owed it to her for the previous occasion, and she knew that it would make her oba-sama happy to plan everything.

He only heeded her words.

He stood while the men of his family approached, intending to go to the hotel and rest before getting ready for the time of the ceremony. They looked excited by the event that would take place that day.

He, though he did not externally show it, felt exultant to make her his wife.

More than six years ago, he would have thought it impossible; but in all that time, many things had changed and he was someone different from the naive young man who believed in a hollow and stupid plan. Nevertheless, it turned out to be the best thing that could have crossed his path by allowing him to interact really with Kotoko, to get to know her and himself.

He had been lucky to have her on his way, and that she had apologized him and loved him. He was lucky that she was with him despite everything, to become Mrs. Irie, and to whatever the future had prepared for both, with its ups and downs.

It sounded stupid, even if he only knew it, but he thought off _the happy ending_ she once planned for them, forming his own family with the woman he loved.

 _Either way, he would feel comfortable having her at his side, as all that time._

Others might say lot of things about both, questioning the relationship of someone as smart and unperturbed as him, with someone like her, so full of life, but he cared little, because he knew her well and did not regret having chosen her. More than anyone, he was aware of the personality of his future wife. She was romantic, chatty, naïve, confident, determined, protective, sensitive, persistent, impulsive, irritating, clumsy, friendly, enthusiastic, forgetful, thoughtless, sympathetic, cheerful, lively, affectionate,…

Imperfect, as much as he was.

 _But his_.

* * *

 **AN:** _Now, the end! He,he._

 _I swear this is the most difficult thing I've done in ff. As you read, this story is long, but I wanted to share it with you. I hope you liked "Imperfect girlfriend". Thanks for the favorites, follows, views... for reading it. You are amazing!_

 _I'll look for a beta to make corrections, but not now. Once I reupload one chapter, I'll write it had changes, if you go back to this fic._

 _In other things, I don't know in which story I'll work with, but I hope you can read me in the future._

 ** _Love, Karo!_**


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